That's a long fuckin nap, eh⁉️

21 (18+) it/he I'm going a little insane about two grown ass men, what's new. my main is a dead dove blog so don't be shocked about what I post.

[jaysleatherpants]

I enjoy the nonsense of two grown ass men, welcome to my sideblog.

Marko, I am 21, it/he, transgender weirdo, 18+

Tags:

#red speaks (my posts)

#video (videos of anything Jay and/or Matt)

#Mattjay

#bpd Matt

#Matt core (unrelated posts that remind me of Matt)

#Mattjay core (again unrelated posts that remind me of the two)

#ntbts meme

#fanart

#text

#pervert grip (me getting a bit too weird maybe, basically horny posting)

[crittaslink]

jay, do you wanna give me a hand with this?

[pysgodyn]

[pysgodyn]

Wait so its real

[bookerprizenominee]

I couldn't stop thinking about Matt's comment on There is a Light That Never Goes Out. Coming from a Smiths fan who has a "And if a double-decker bus crashes into us, to die by your side is such a heavenly way to die" postcard on my fridge, I definitely understand the allure of Smiths lyrics separated from homoerotic urges, like for the poetic earnest adolescent over-the-topness or just an interesting shame seeping through all the grandiosity. Obviously reading these lyrics as queer isn't new at all, but plenty of people relate to them in a more general sense. But Matt straight off the bat does acknowledge the lyrics as "so overtly homosexual," about someone "so desperate to get in these salacious relationships with men and have nobody know about it," and that he "of course" views them like that. But then he juxtaposes it, by saying he relates to the lyrics in a sense of "being an adolescent longing for something that you just cannot explain to anybody," something "embarrassing and private" that all his characters in all his projects are dealing with. "Like a kind of longing for something that they can't quite admit, for a sublimated sexuality." That there is no real sex, but "the protagonist has some kind of sexual designs on his best friend that you can't quite place."

What strikes me is the juxtaposition that doesn't really seem like one at all to me. The character not knowing he has a sexual interest in his best friend, or not letting himself know it because it's, again, embarrassing and private, doesn't mean they aren't there. It just seems a spectrum from "first inkling" to "straight-forward and outspoken desire" and I'd argue that Morrissey's lyrics always hover in the in-between anyway. The lack of actual sex and actual articulated desire doesn't necessarily mean the character is repressed, of course, but adding in the private shame and longing for something, well, what is that something supposed to be? Can it not be articulated because it's an indeterminate thing approaching the sexual, or can't it be articulated because of the shame surrounding sex and, even worse, homosexuality? And if it's supposed to be a sexless sort of homoromantic love, then why bring sublimated sexuality into it at all. Intense friendship love can be scary by itself, where you fear abandonment ("Driving in your car, oh, please don't drop me home"), but specifically sublimation as a defense mechanism means the sexual desire has to exist for it to be sublimated.

I'm honestly surprised he admits this so openly because having all your characters be in love with their best friend to a degree where the sexual desire has to be transformed into something vaguely acceptable to pass for as normal friendship feelings, raises some questions. And I'm not complaining, obviously, it's super fascinating to watch and not something I'd grow tired of being explored in narratives. It'd maybe just leave you thinking "hey why is this guy obsessed with characters feeling shameful unfulfilled and unnamed desire for their best friends?"

[larsandthesoprano]

pussy

[liquiddeathcan]

It intrigues me how the characters are cartoonish exaggerations of themselves up until they hit soft tissue, then they just flip the script. Matt is the clingy one trying to hitch himself to Jay’s star power. Jay has mommy issues. Matt’s biggest anxiety is being left behind by Jay. Jay’s biggest anxiety is being judged and misunderstood and perceived as uncool. Okay sure.

[mattsheadband]

x new article talking about matt being afraid of women and craving acceptance from older boys? oh i’m sure

[thebandtheshowthegirl]

i'm so not jealous of jay's middle-aged bf vibes in this

[mummer]

MJ being severely sexually repressed even frigid even prudish throughout his youth is like… ok. he’s talked about it before i think but it does track that he is still consumed by the concept of shame and sexual shame. every filmmaker has one concept they tumble around over and over and his is shame. and thats the core of cringe comedy, isn’t it? shame? characters who are deeply shame-filled doing things that are utterly shameless. humiliation piled upon humiliation. loving something or someone so much that it becomes embarrassing and ridiculous. all these being rooted in the erotic and the terror of the erotic. You are forty years old and all you want to do is return to the years before the mere presence and implication of sexuality altered your relationships beyond repair.

[kinnoth-2]

I am excited for the situation to come up that matt (irl) has to explain the backgrond lore of why matt (ntb) is wearing a wedding ring by also giving jay (ntb) a wedding ring

[rickyapologist]

jay is the kind of guy you keep in an attic matt is the kind of guy you keep in a basement i feel like i don't even need to elaborate on this you guys get it

[rickyapologist]

love how matt johnson is so fujo brainrotted he fully realizes that the best thing that can happen in yaoi is for one of them to die. i mean what's better than that? oh for one of them to die and then also come back to life while the other one sits with the painful, sickening, intimate knowledge of his death for the rest of his life? like he's doing shit that is usually only reserved for the dankest juiciest mind palaces. my friends used to yell at me for writing stuff like that

[rickyapologist]

jay is dead boyfriend reposting videos of HIMSELF he's being so normal about everything I think

[jaysleatherpants]

Time to rewatch parts of the webseries because ever since I woke up I've felt. Off.

[okjaybird]

i thought i should take an opportunity within a story where nobody will think it's about me to tell a story about myself... the vulnerable, unsure, scared, looking-for-role models version of myself.

[jaysleatherpants]

[mattsheadband]

does matts girlfriend ever post him on Instagram?

she doesn’t post much in general! just some film photos and film event related things. she seems pretty offline about it all!

I feel okay sharing this bc it’s barely anything but there’s a pretty cape cod film photo dump and i laughed bc i know that damn shirt