hello friends

cameron / 24 / non binary or smth, idk / michigan slash new york / general trainwreck

[oneheadtoanother]

[fishpondfish]

it is impossible to watch a movie. every night i think i want to watch a movie. no movie gets watched. because it's not possible

[snapscube]

Can I interest you in our desert menu?

sure what have u got

[snapscube]

thanks but i’ll pass

[distant-screaming]

there really is nothing better than getting asked an innocuous question and being like

[daveedmee]

explosion at health potion factory 0 dead 0 injured

[2colde]

[lakevida]

[demilypyro]

"Kill them with kindness" wrong. Gengar use shadow ball

[harbinger-of-the-defiled-heires]

if the usamerican civil war was happening now instead of the 1800s you would see posts on here like "im literally disabled and i need a slave to function"

[nalgenebottle-deactivated201706]

*goes to Coachella in a white linen suit like an antebellum lawyer, sweating profusely and dabbing at my forehead with a handkerchief* now, I’m no fancy scientist, but would you folk know where a simple gentleman such as myself could obtain some acid? Now, I’m no big city lawyer, but could any of you fine youths point a country boy such as myself in the direction of some fucking acid?

[fatgrowlithe]

happy ten years to this post

[devinellekurtz]

My very first tiger drawing and my latest

[formaldehydedoesstuff]

Your skill level is unquestionable but listen.

I love him.

[toasthaste-art]

me also. as well.

[devinellekurtz]

This is the COOLEST thing I’ve seen in AGES. You both completely made my entire week.

[trying-trying2lyk]

i love writing out numbers and then putting them in parentheses like "one (1)" even when i dont need to i think its funny

[homunculus-argument]

The Odyssey but retold as a low-stakes modern adventure of one guy out with his girlfriend leaving the bar with his buddies to do just one (1) simple thing real quick, it'll take like 15 minutes tops, he'll be right back, but then some bullshit happens and the trip keeps getting more complicated as more bullshit keeps happening while he just tries to get back to the bar because he promised his girlfriend that he'd get back and he knows that she's still there because she told him she'd wait there.

And by the time he finally gets back it's almost 3 am and the bar is about to close while she's sitting there stone cold sober, surrounded by 5 drunk guys unsuccessfully trying to convince her to give up on waiting for him and go home with one of them instead. And the guy shows up to proceed to beat the shit out of them before explaining himself to her like hey sorry bullshit kept happening, my phone fell into a storm drain and my wallet got stolen when I was trying to find someone who'd borrow me a phone so I could call and

[kata4a]

[effervescent-fool]

tumblr mutuals will truly be obsessed with anyone. there is a guy out there with 1 fan worldwide and that fan is your tumblr mutual

[oldmanpusspuss]

I experienced bad turbulence on the plane for the first time and it was kinda erotic I won't lie

[oldmanpusspuss]

This revelation was so important to me I made a note about it since I couldn't immediately post it

[trollrider1111]

*looking over on a plane and seeing this on their notes app*

[oldmanpusspuss]

I feel like the bigger shock would be seeing the explicit fanfics of Beatles porking each other I was reading the whole flight if im being honest

[bitternanami]

[id: screencap of note reading "First time experiencing bad turbulence on a plane --> hard?" /end id]

[certifiedbeatlesposts]

certified beatles post

[oldmanpusspuss]

no I read smut fics in a completely detached academic way but thank you for your question

[doublism]

they used to make smackable technology. you used to be able to hit your tv when it didn't work good.

[servicebunny]

It just shifted to spanking your puppy’s ass, to make them take that thick knot. Like the good little play thing they are.

[doublism]

i don't really think it's like that at all

[t4timekeeper]