Ray Ramano Is A Saint @jclazlo - Tumblr Blog

It was worth the burning.

I need to kill myself

It’s just getting worse all the time I can’t focus on anything which will cheer me up I have no social life no social skills I can’t maintain eye contact for more than 5 seconds for fuck sake what’s wrong

time 4 vent

It’s not going okay at all. Like I thought that telling people who I’m close to what I am would make things easier to progress with it, but I’m just worse off. Anxiety is telling me that all this sadness and worthlessness is just for attention and that I just should give up on trying to be open. I do not feel comfortable in my body or my gender or even how I think anymore. I thought breaking out of a co dependent, long distance relationship would push me to try new things and try talking to new people but I can’t even make eye contact with someone during conversation let alone discuss anything non superficial so how can I even go out and expect people to put up with these bad social habits. I want to be open about my sexuality but keep finding reasons not to be and making more and more excuses that weigh me into a closed off pit. People who are barely related with me are trying to make contact with me, ignorant to the fact that I’m jealous they grew up with a father who was absent all of my life, but that’s fine use me to vent even though you don’t know me it’s not like I have the backbone to even tell you I can’t deal with it. Smoking cause people will question cut marks.

Realising that maybe you were taken advantage of at uni and that’s why you can’t afford to be open with people anymore. Although you can post self loathing shit like this on social media because that’s easier.

It’s just not okay. Not one bit.