J.d.B

Music is not what I do, it's who I am. I write for the fun of it, because it helps me say what I can't say out loud. I'm only alive when I speak my mind through lyrics and some of my writings.

[jdionb]

Memories

Days turned to weeks and then to a year. We left so many things unsaid, but now, Now it’s seems so pointless. It’s like we gave up so many things,  For what? I needed to heal, to get up again, to keep track of myself,  And I lost you in the process.  We are so far apart now, it’s seems that it’s not just a year that has passed, it feels like we are not on the same planet anymore. There are days that I want to share my world to you, just to see your eyes light up again. You always saw things about me that I couldn’t, you saw the world like nobody else did. There are days that I want to listen to you, just to know every little details of your world, just like we did before. Just like we did before...

[jdionb]

There are shadows in my dreams Storms that steer me out of reach And you just wait on my defeat So I built an army underneath And now they guard me while I sleep And this worn out frame will carry me Don't go holding your breath You know that I'm not done yet There's still a fight in me left Don't go shouting out loud That you're claiming the crown I'm down but not out And the bittersweet Of every new defeat Is I'm stronger that before Maybe on my knees But I still believe These broken wings will soar

Silhouette; Birdy

[jdionb]

Our human hearts forget how strong they are And they get lost along the way, hey It's not giving up, it's letting go And moving to a better place

Wild Horses; Birdy

[jdionb]

Why'd you lie? Don't want to hear no alibis Don't want to know the reasons why You left me here to cry

-Why'd you lie?; Colin James

[jdionb]

Corpses filled the ground.  Blood spattered everywhere. A girl in it’s center. A heart beating in the palm of her hand. Blood dripping to the floor, her hand covered in this reddish gold. Dead eyes, looking at the scene, at the dismembered bodies on the floor. She’s not afraid, she’s not sad nor happy. Just a cold stare.  A last glance to the heart on her hand, like a gift to a god unknown to us. She is ready. Death as finally come to her, her salvation is near.  She can finally go home. 

...home is where the heart is. Hers as wandered too far to come back to life.

-J.d.B

[jdionb]

I could follow you to the beginning Just to relive the start Maybe then we'd remember to slow down At all of our favorite parts All I wanted was you

All I wanted; Paramore

[jdionb]

You know you're in love when you can't fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams

-Dr. Seuss

[inkskinned]

i have thought long and hard about what demons would be to people with mental illness; we who are used to referring to our own brains as filled with darkness. 

the girl who is in the haunted room and loves it. it’s quiet there, where others won’t tread. they leave her alone to paint and to read and they ask her: doesn’t it scare you to be in such a sad place? and she says - is it sad? it doesn’t feel different than usual here.  the boys who go to kiss each other in hotel surrounded in snow. when the voices start one teaches the other the art of ignoring hallucinations; something he had to force down since his diagnosis at seventeen. and the voices scream but there is loud music and his lips are candy.

a demon in the shadows, but paranoia isn’t unfamiliar to the one it stalks. the teenager just closes their eyes and says that tomorrow will come. and who cares if it doesn’t, really, which sort of takes the sting out of the threat they’re facing.

her ocd means she never leaves the oven accidentally on. when weird things happen she takes control of them. the last time she had pasta for dinner she summoned the antichrist that’s living in her attic. the next day she has scrubbed every corner with holy water except for a little corner that she fills with pasta. if it’s contained, she knows where it is. the salt line around it never slips.

the ghost tells him to die already, but that’s nothing new, so he just turns on parks and rec a lot louder than usual. 

it would be nice, i think. to see ourselves as heroes for once. for the skills we learned while dealing with this to become skills we could use in the real life. these internal strengths that rarely are spoken of; the quiet victories of lives who learn how to fashion normal from nothing. the thing is that the illness isn’t pretty but the people who go through it are incredible humans.

the strength of someone who is used to whiplash, who falls from mania into a sudden depression they can’t shake - their dogged promise to themselves that it’s going to be okay. the strength to eat when one’s body wants to deplete itself. the strength of someone who is constantly talking down suicide beating the demon because, no thank you, i’m not going to go to a bridge and jump, it’s cold outside. 

because we are used to the fight. to the darkness close. to living with demons. and we are used to saying “no”.

[jdionb]

Remember the moment you left me alone and Broke every promise you ever made I was an ocean, lost in the open Nothing could take the pain away So you can throw me to the wolves Tomorrow I will come back Leader of the whole pack Beat me black and blue Every wound will shape me Every scar will build my throne

-Throne; Bring me the horizon

[ananbeth]

unnecessary love triangles

[inkskinned]

i love you so much it scares me. everyone else i’ve trusted has found some way to use me. to take all they can get from me. what if you’re the same. what if one day i wake up and you’re gone. what if tomorrow is the last day i get to kiss you. what if in ten years i look back and i feel sick at the thought of you.

[jdionb]

I see a woman in the night With a baby in her hand Under an old street light Near a garbage can Now she puts the kid away, and she's gone to get a hit She hates her life, and what she's done to it There's one more kid that will never go to school Never get to fall in love, never get to be cool.

-Rockin'in the free world; Neil Young

[jdionb]

I told you I was hurt Bleeding on the inside I told you I was lost In the middle of my life There's times I stayed alive for you There's times I would've died for you There's times it didn't matter at all

-The High Road; Three days grace

[natalie-meza]

I’m not the person you want me to be.

Natalie Meza (via natalie-meza)

[jdionb]

Light

When the darkness invaded me,  Creeping in my head, poisoning my thoughts, Leaving me feeling alone and helpless, That’s when you appeared, A solace to my soul,  Embracing the darkness, seeing the scars that once shattered my heart, You embrace it, like it’s your burden too. You are the light, shifting the fog out of my head, Letting me be who I really am, You give me the strength to love myself more than I thought possible. And the monster I once saw in the mirror As disappeared with the thought of you in my heart.

-J.d.B.

[jdionb]

I can't escape this hell So many times I've tried But I'm still caged inside Somebody get me through this nightmare I can't control myself So what if you can see the darkest side of me? No one will ever change this animal I have become Help me believe it's not the real me Somebody help me tame this animal

Animal I have become; Three days grace

[jdionb]

Why people in this world hate what is not them. Why they fear all they don't know. Why they hate themselves most of all. For being weak. For being old. For being everything altogether that is not God-like. Which of us can be that? Monsters all, are we not?

-Penny Dreadful; Season 2 episode 3