@jeepslut - Tumblr Blog

whydidisavethistomyphone

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you did it

you win the award for best addition to my post

cremblr

i tried so fucking hard to scroll past this

cacilieblaas

i tried and i failed

kaijuerotica

delightfully-derranged

i cant breathe.

thedoctor-and-his-trolls

send help. dying

execute-order-66

fuck

kelssiel

I am the snake in my boot

lazaruswulf

Goddamnit it’s back. Again

destroyroxy

Sweet dreams are made of bees

Who am I to-oh god, bees!

I look to the sky and there’s only bees

Everybody’s looking for bug spray

psychoticallytrans

If a worker who isn't the owner says ANYTHING similar to "I'm not really supposed to do this but-" and then does something that helps you, under no circumstances inform the business, including through reviews. You tell them that the worker was polite, professional, the very model of customer service and why you like to go there. You do not breathe a word of the rulebreaking.

buttwyattarchive-deactivated201

theendofaspark

this is never going to not be funny

jeepslut

AHHAHAHAHA OH LAWD

forfuckssakejim

Yeah quiet quitting is great and all but have you tried chaotic working?

Like. I remember back in my grocery store cashier days I did so much crazy shit.

When WIC (Women, infants, and children voucher program to help low income mothers/families with children) people were in my line I would pretty much know who they were. Before the cards they had to tell us upfront they were WIC and show us their vouchers for what they were allowed to get (it was awful some times. Like. 2 gallons of milk. $4 worth of vegetables etc etc). They’d always have items hanging back, waiting to see what the total was and if they would have to take it off the belt.

I began to place the fruits/vegetables a certain way on the register scale so that like 1/2lbs of grapes read as like .28lbs or something. Then act shocked when I said that they still had X amount of lbs left. They got all their fruit and vegetables.

I think it started to kinda? Catch on to the women? Because I would have the same moms in my line month after month. And even after they switched to the cards (they worked like food stamp cards?) I’d still do the same thing. They were able to get more produce for whatever shitty max amount Indiana gave them.

Anyways. Be chaotic. It’s more fun that way.

jeepslut

Need more of this shit

catchymemes

andhumanslovedstories

Do you ever eat popcorn out of the palm of your own hand with such ardent desperation that you feel like both a wild horse and the gentle schoolgirl feeding it treats to gain its affection

andhumanslovedstories

Hey there guys. It’s me, in 2022, commenting on this post from 2016. There’s been a lot of people on this site lately being like “oooh no don’t make viral uwu I’m so pathetic, little, and defenseless and my poor notifications can’t handle 10k reblogs” well first of all ALL of us are pathetic, little, and defenseless and secondly none of our notifications can handle 10k reblogs and thirdly I’m not a coward and I think this should have a million notes. Not because of its own merit as a post, I just think it’d be funny if when I turn 30 this year and I reflect on the greatest accomplishments of my life thus far, I have to at least consider putting “famous tumblr popcorn post” on the list

jadejemdoesstuff

I had an interesting night last night

cognitohazardous

nancybongwater-deactivated20230

tootboi

alwaysbewoke

unfuckingbelievable and yet completely believable.

draciformes

Hey did you know that the only recorded instance of a child being poisoned from Halloween candy was from his own dad killing him for insurance money?

prismatic-bell

You know.

I want to share a story with those of you who were not of trick-or-treating age (or were very, very little, like your grownup was probably saying “trick or treat” for you) in October of 2001.

For the younger folk, it’s important that you know that in the couple of weeks following 9/11, there were anthrax attacks on various people via mail. They were targeted toward the media and a few politicians, but because anthrax is spores and some of the attacks were pure powder, there were fears that it could contaminate other letters, and the timing of the attacks was such that nobody knew if they were related to 9/11 (they weren’t, but we didn’t know that then), there was absolutely a feeling that anyone could be next.

Do you know how many Pixy Stix I got for Halloween the year prior? Dozens. They were a popular choice with the college students manning the frat houses in my town because they were cheap, and of course some other folks who liked to give out candy by the handful would go for the cheaper mixes as well.

Do you know how many Pixy Stix I got in 2001?

Four.

Three were from the same frat house, which apologetically told my mom they’d gotten their candy before the powder-anthrax attacks, and they were out of literally everything else but if she didn’t want me to have Pixy Stix they could get me a soda from their fridge or something. They were down to their beverages and the cookies they’d bought for their own party and they were literally willing to part with those instead of cheap crap candy only a child could love, if it would make my mom more comfortable.

Not only do the overwhelming majority of people not want to harm trick-or-treaters, they actively don’t want to cause undue distress or concern to kids or their parents. People were literally driving to the closest city half an hour away to get non-Pixy-Stix candy when our grocery store sold out, rather than taking an option more convenient to them that might scare the recipients during an already frightening and stressful time. That’s like the exact opposite of “let’s give kids drugs just for shits and giggles.”

As a sidenote, it took me many, many years to figure out someone did get drugs that night. My mom chatted with the frat kids for a bit, and at one point one of them went “do you want a brownie? Uh—for you?” And when my mom was like “hell yeah, I love a good special brownie” they dutifully wrapped one up for her. I was bored and playing with their cat, so literally the part I caught was that there were brownies and I wasn’t allowed to have them (THE AUDACITY), but I assume in some way it was communicated that my mom was absolutely the type of person who’d appreciate a good dose of weed (and given that she was homeschooling me and dealing with the news cycle at the time, probably needed it). Which like, I feel like it should be socially acceptable to offer weed brownies to the parents of trick-or-treaters to enjoy after the kids have passed out in a sugar coma, so A+ frat kids all around, really.