jellejurre @jellejurre - Tumblr Blog

deltaruneyuri099

look at them go

ovur

You don't remember my old url....? O-oh.. no its fine. I said its fine! Don't... don't touch me.

ovur

*trips while I'm running away and you get a panty shot*

flunkett

Huh

frikinnerd

Can you believe they tried to monetize this shit

ovur

Ok I'll go fuck myself

nayurita5

i mean its only 5 years old. im gonna fucking use it until it literally doesnt work anymore

nayurita5

lol yeah me too

lordofseagulls

Lil Nas X should not be allowed to be this funny

crowboy-bebop

oh my fucking god

pocketss

houseplant type friend

meefling

You Aren’t Boring I Just Suck At Conversations I’m Sorry: a novel by me

phantomcat94

I’m Not Ignoring You I Just Don’t Know What To Say: a sequel by me

anartisticanomaly

I Feel Like I have Nothing Interesting To Say So I Don’t Say Anything At All And I’m Really Sorry Don’t Stop Talking To Me: the trilogy.

layton-heritage-posts

WRONG BLOG WRONG BLOG WRONG BLOG WRONG BLOG WRONG BLOG WRONG BLOG WRONG BLOG WRONG BLOG WRONG BLOG WRONG BLOG WRONG BLOG WRONG BLOG WRONG BLOG WRONG BLOG WRONG BLOG WRONG BLOG WRONG BLOG WRONG BLOG WRONG BLOG WRONG BLOG WRONG BLOG WRONG BLOG WRONG BLOG WRONG BLOG WRONG BLOG WRONG BLOG WRONG BLOG WRONG BLOG WRONG BLOG WRONG BLOG WRONG BLOG WRONG BLOG WRONG BLOG WRONG BLOG WRONG BLOG WRONG BLOG WRONG BLOG WRONG BLOG WRONG BLOG WRONG BLOG WRONG BLOG WRONG BLOG WRONG BLOG WRONG BLOG WRONG BLOG WRONG BLOG WRONG BLOG WRONG BLOG WRONG BLOG WRONG BLOG WRONG BLOG WRONG BLOG WRONG BLOG WRONG BLOG WRONG BLOG WRONG BLOG WRONG BLOG WRONG BLOG WRONG BLOG WRONG BLOG WRONG BLOG WRONG BLOG WRONG BLOG-

layton-heritage-posts

ABSOLUTELY CATACLYSMIC WRONG BLOG MOMENT. WORST MOMENT OF MY CAREER.

yo mr white can you sign my permission slip so i can go to the aquarium bitch

mitzo

jesse. you need money to enter jesse.

princessmo

yo mr white can i have $5 to go to the aquarium it's for school bitch

mitzo

jesse. do you want some money for the gift shop jesse.

princessmo

yeah mr white. can i have money to get lunch there too please. bitch

mitzo

of course jesse. bring me back a cuttlefish plush jesse

you got it mr white

thank you jesse

[id. A twitter post by @/Bennieeexyz Jury duty letter came addressed to my cat. Not a mistake. "Felix Martinez" - that's his full name according to his vet records. My last name. His first name. Somehow he's a registered voter now. Called the county clerk. Me: My cat got summoned for jury duty. Clerk: Is the name correct on the summons? Me: Yes, but he's a cat. Clerk: Is Felix Martinez a legal resident of this county? Me: He's a legal cat. Clerk: Sir, if the name matches our records, he needs to appear or file an exemption. Me: He can't file anything. He has paws. Clerk: You can file on his behalf. Me: Under what exemption? There's no box for "is a cat." Clerk: (pause) Check "unable to serve due to medical reasons." Me: What's the medical reason? Clerk: He's a cat. Me: That's not a medical condition. Clerk: It is if it prevents him from serving. Sent in the form. Got rejected two weeks later. "Insufficient documentation. Please provide medical professional's statement." Took the letter to my vet. Me: I need you to write that my cat can't do jury duty. Vet: Why is your cat summoned for jury duty? Me: Excellent question. No good answer. Vet: This is the weirdest request I've gotten. Me: Can you just write that he's medically unfit to serve? Vet: On what grounds? Me: He's a cat. Vet: (started typing) "Patient is unable to serve due to species-related limitations including inability to speak, read, or comprehend legal proceedings." Me: Perfect. Sent it in. Got another rejection. "Summons is mandatory. Failure to appear will result in contempt of court." My roommate thought this was hilarious. Roommate: Felix is going to jail. Me: This is serious. Roommate: Bring him to court. See what happens. Decided that was actually the only option left. Day of jury duty, put Felix in his carrier. Brought the entire paper trail of rejection letters. Checked in at the courthouse. Clerk: Name? Me: Felix Martinez. Clerk: (looked at the cat carrier) Is that Felix? Me: Yes. Clerk: (long stare) He's a cat. Me: I've been saying that for six weeks. Clerk: Why didn't you file an exemption? Me: I filed three. All rejected. Showed her the letters. She read through them, expression shifting from confusion to disbelief. Clerk: Someone rejected the veterinary documentation? Me: Twice. Clerk: (called her supervisor over) You need to see this. Supervisor read everything. Looked at Felix. Looked at me. Supervisor: How did a cat get registered to vote? Me: You tell me. Supervisor: This is a data error. Me: Took you six weeks to figure that out. They dismissed Felix immediately. Apologized for the inconvenience. Supervisor: We'll remove him from the voter registry. Me: Appreciate it. Supervisor: (pause) Out of curiosity, how would he have voted? Me: Probably whatever party supports universal treats. Got a formal apology letter a week later and a voter registration card. For me this time. Apparently I wasn't registered, but my cat was. Roommate: Felix committed voter fraud. Me: Felix committed nothing. He's innocent. Roommate: That's what they all say. Felix is sleeping on the jury summons now. Fitting end to his legal career. end id]

foxes-in-love

misericorde-girlfriend

/*two dolls dueling with rapiers made from paperclips. the worst they can do is slightly scratch each other's porcelain, or put a tear into each other's dresses. they fight withe the crushing gravity of an impending, inevitable death in their eyes. they're doing this for fun by the way*/