Killed her with kindness
cherry valley forever
Not today Justin
Peter Solarz
NASA
we're not kids anymore.
TVSTRANGERTHINGS
Three Goblin Art

tannertan36
No title available
wallacepolsom

Janaina Medeiros
hello vonnie

blake kathryn
🪼
Today's Document
sheepfilms
Jules of Nature
Cosmic Funnies

ellievsbear

oozey mess
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@jembarrassment
Killed her with kindness
Men will spend 25% of their day thinking about how they could American sniper their way out of the zombie apocalypse no problem and then they’ll walk into the bathroom and miss the toilet from half a foot away
Men will be like “I would NEVER murder someone but if I did I know exactly how I’d get away with it” and then one day you’ll be in a situation with them where they need to mop a floor and they won’t even know how
sometimes a clown is in your house. sometimes not. depends.
Depends if I’m home
hallmark channel please hire me to write more time-travel romances:
no-nonsense modern businesswoman who is secretly falling for this odd but kind stranger: dinner was so delicious! wow… i wish my last boyfriend had ever cooked for me even once. by the way, what was in the pie?
brave yet gentle time-displaced knight: squirrels, of course
*
brave yet gentle time-displaced nobleman of some sort: the miasmas in this… newest of york are indeed foul. here, i have studded half an orange with cloves, hold it against thy nose, that you may not inhale any spirits of pestilence
*
no-nonsense modern businesswoman’s mildly confused dad: so, you follow politics at all?
brave yet gentle time-displaced weaver’s apprentice: the empress maud is a pretender and usurper, i pray king stephen’s forces will break the siege by michelmas
*
no-nonsense modern businesswoman, etcetera: what are all these children doing in my house
brave yet gentle time-displaced prince: these are my new pages. i have given them each a loaf of bread and a pallet of straw in the basement. [snaps fingers] you, boy! a cup of watered wine!
delighted ten-year-old who is skipping school, dressed in old drapes as an approximation of medieval livery: yes sir right away sir!!
#okay op these all sound brilliant but if my time travelling knight turned out to be a stephen supporte r#i’d just leave him there in the snow
the notes on this are like 99% impassioned Maud partisans, what even is this website
Kid 1: Hey what are you doing?
Kid 2: *tosses a bike in the river* I dunno I’m just fuckin tossing bikes in the river bro
I really believed the caption was a snarky parody of what was said and not literally the actual dialogue
“he boot too big for he gotdamn feet” is literally the funniest phrase in the english language. im considering putting it on my tombstone
but is it really better than man door hand hook car door
he hand hook too big for he gotdamn car door
every culture has their ethnic donut and every culture has their ethnic dumpling… humans be frying dough
Every culture also makes a sword. If they got metal they make a sword, if they don’t have metal they take obsidian or shark teeth or whatever it is that they’ve got and they make that into a sword.
Coincidence? I think not.
2 constants in all civilizations:
Tasty Fried Food
Danger Murder Sticks
World building tip: the bare bones of all civilizations are fried dough and sharp things.
Also: dramatic and ornate hats.
as soon as people have the resources to do so they will put gaudy brightly-coloured things on their heads, so help them
Fried dough, murder sticks, and ostentatious headwear. I like it.
I went to a clown hatchery in Madison today and oh my FUCKING god there must've been at least 10000 clowns there. it was incredible
the breeder told me he's been operational for 8 years now and djfjhd the new morphs he's working with are amazing with the regular white orange and snowflakes he's working with something that gives. them a blue tone they're gorgeous
I read this like 10 times before I realized you were probably talking about fish
This bitch
"and what about it?"
were having online classes from now on and the struggle is real. took my robotics prof 15 minutes to unmute himself on skype
update: programming prof is streaming over twitch with a gaming headset and a corona beer. Most on brand thing ive ever seen
slap my ass? 🥺
im social distancing rn 🥺
Can I offer you a nice mole in these trying times?
you sound like a starship's central computer that has little grasp on what humans find enjoyable
that’s the nicest thing anyone’s ever said to me
PSA: Please don't hold moles like that
I’m not “holding” the mole.
The mole bit the stick as I was saving it from a dog. When they bite down, they do not readily let go, and you are able to transport them to safety.
So really it is the mole that is holding you
we make eye contact and i connect to the wifi in your brain and i delete half of your memories and make you left handed
But I am left handed. And I already have a poor memory, so good luck finding anything worth deleting.
WAIT A MINUTE
u all scared of that new IT movie but u’ve been dating clowns all ur lives 😤😤😤🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤡🤡
*stabs you through the toga 23 times* vibe check
In Super Mario Odyssey, whenever Mario does a single jump, he always raises the arm that is further away from the camera (top). This is likely due to Nintendo-internal guidelines that state that Mario is not to be depicted with his arm covering his face while jumping. Compare a selection of official artwork where Mario raises the arm that is further away from the viewer (bottom). Main Blog | Twitter | Patreon | Sources: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, special thanks to twitter.com user “HEYimHeroic”
Mario cannot canonically dab
luigi was created to do what mario cannot: kill