Jennifer Bibb

Follow me on my journey of depth, hilarity, parenting, marriage, family and faith and sometimes racial topics and politics. I hope you'll dialogue with me because I do love good dialogues.

[jenniferbibb]

Mark your calendars! Don’t miss this great event!! Tickets only $69 per couple!! #marriage #marriedlife #marriagegoals #marriagegoals #marriageworks #married #marriagetuneup #goals #marriageconference #grabyourhusband #grabyourwife #getthere https://www.instagram.com/p/B7SNzGhlVUG/?igshid=ffod06109lw

[jenniferbibb]

Happy 18th anniversary #pastorbae you’re truly my best friend! We’ve literally grown up together, we’ve laughed together, cried together and discovered our strengths and weaknesses together! We’ve managed to beat our own statistical odds lol! We’ve managed to thrive together not just survive! I was looking for an updated song for us and the reason I initially liked love on the brain is because you’re constantly on my mind, even when I’m annoyed with you, or mad at you, you’re still my first and last thought! We still stay awake at night and talk endlessly for hours, we’ve learned that communication is our friend not our foe, we’ve learned that we’re stronger than we ever imagined! You’ve prayed and preached me out of my comfort zone and into my healing season, you championed me through school and to my job after 15yrs being at home, you’ve stepped up at mr mom while work and also do LifewithJennB! Along with your job(s) you’ve successfully plowed through the semester and tackled several of our joint projects (watch out 2020) You’re a true best friend! One of the most clear anointed preachers I know! I appreciate your insight, I may not always want to hear it but I always appreciate your truth, you challenge my stubbornness, and pride but always do so with a level of gentleness. You are seriously the most hilarious person I know and we belly laugh together regularly! We’ve only got 32 more years before we hit 50yrs together! Love you! Happy Anniversary @timothiusbrian #blacklove #anniversarylove #wemade #weloveeachother #18yrs #bestfriend @marriagetuneup #day1 to #day6570 💕💕💕 https://www.instagram.com/p/B7OnpKTlJpE/?igshid=fxjotxhijm8a

[jenniferbibb]

We do an end of year family assessment every year! We ask our kids what’s the good, the bad and the need of improve in our parenting. We ask them the good, the bad and the need to improve in themselves and how they see themselves, we ask them to project a word for their upcoming year here’s some of the results: Judah: funny dope fast Taye: funny brave compassionate London: compassionate, caring and nice. 2020 Word: Taye: positivity London: Change Judah: cute (attitude) after we pressed him to push past cute lol 🤣 Mom: expansion Dad: focus As a family it seems we all still need to work on adjusting our attitudes, me especially according to London 🤭😩🤣🤣 I encourage all families to do one!! Send me your results I’d love to see them!! #bibb5 #endofyearassessment #buildingahealthyfamily @timothiusbrian https://www.instagram.com/p/B6qubDolYlOMUiZcUNCdzK8eNF_lpq6zcaDeGA0/?igshid=ktoq76a50zj1

[jenniferbibb]

16yrs ago we began a journey, since a little girl I prayed for my dad to be free from drugs, I grew up from 9yrs to 23 without him. His friend OD'd in the house he did his drugs and I knew he was going to be next if something didn't change, I began to pray specific prayers for him, I called him and asked him if he wanted to know his grand-kids, if he wanted to live a drug free life, he said he didn't need a rehab only 2 weeks and a place to stay...I knew he couldn't come here with that attitude. We got off the phone and I began to fast and pray for him. We lost contact because he went missing and I was so worried but I asked God specifically to close the doors in his life to make it evident to me that he was supposed to come here, in mid November I got a collect call from my dad, his words to me were "I've been locked out...AD is in the hospital I can't go back there, your Grandmother won't let me in I'm locked out, I'm in Harlem with only a few days to be here. Find me rehab I'm ready to be clean" and with that I found him a rehab, my brother got him a bus ticket, I sent him a box of clothes and food to hold him over, sent him is last bit of drug money so he could get his last hit as per the rehab telling me he couldn't go cold turkey. He came here in the sweat suit I sent him only weighed about 125lbs...He immediately was ready to go to his rehab, he was already having withdrawals from the bus ride, I took him to center-point he was accepted into their program and the day here came he was accepted into Arca a drug rehabilitation facility, he went through their program, stayed in their halfway house, he found out he was a diabetic and had high blood pressure but was overall healthy which amazed the doctors and the rest is history. He suffered a heart attack about 7yrs ago but again he amazed the doctors. He gives such sound advice, loves deeply, is so caring, he’ll literally give me the shirt off his back! He tells me all the time “all the money I gave the drug man, it’s a joy to give it to my family” (The rest is in the comments) https://www.instagram.com/p/B5nR0QTl7IsY50LMqU_ZxxKB8TDnKqBE_4jYg80/?igshid=fa7cdyd2o3sg

[jenniferbibb]

Dear parents I say this all the time but WE are our children’s biggest advocates. This boy is mine and I’ll always be his biggest fan til he marries some girl 🙄lol but back to the point of this story.....Last week a teacher wrote me about his grades their improvement but his continued talking and disruption to her teaching ability and her desire to remove him from class to this I responded we need to meet immediately. Today @timothiusbrian, myself and ultimately Taye met with the teacher I was able to explain our expectations of our son, hear her out, explain my understanding of who my son is, his personality, his demeanor why he sometimes gives off a seemingly disrespectful laugh or nonchalance that,it’s not from malicious place but self-preservation. She admitted she gets frustrated with him and has singled him out at times and even apologized, I had him apologize to her for his rude behavior and they discussed ways to move forward together. HS is new territory bc it’s kinda hands off for parents but til he’s out of my care I’ll always dip in when called upon. He’s got a future and I’ve got a responsibility to steward him into it! 😘 #mamabear #papabear #tayebear #blackboyjoy #advocatelikeamother https://www.instagram.com/p/B4V9TCrlGc8EHj8pV42NWyUbJo2nDfABPf5VUQ0/?igshid=1nhy9mwcy01xu

[jenniferbibb]

This year as a mother to 3 impressionable minds and after joining in on the fight to get a mandatory black history requirement in the school system in my city there’s an identity crisis that’s being passed to (my) black children bc their history is only taught to them through their trauma I’ll never forget the tears and confusion that my first 2 children came home with after learning their heritage through the school system..here me 🗣..it’s traumatic! My husband and I vowed our 3rd wouldn’t learn his history through the same lenses...he would have something to grab ahold of that will give him pride, compassion, heritage, love and acceptance! It will go beyond just historical facts it will give him a financial future, mental health accountability, biblical reference and most of all give him identity through love not pain! @100blackfacts (follow us) #linkinbio #comingsoon #2020 #blackeducation #blacklove #blackacceptance #blackexcellence #becauseofthem https://www.instagram.com/p/B4FyBSWF0hUNvrgREHLkFbA-Tna8l843KXXfRw0/?igshid=mw5fdzq2blqw

[jenniferbibb]

Girl Power

I found myself making a menstrual care package for my daughter. She has not yet begun her journey into womanhood but when that day comes, I created this care package for her. I picked out a sparkly pouch that I purchased from Target, with 2 pads, a pair of underwear and some cut-off nylon control top pantyhose, (because those hold a pad in place like nobody’s business) a washcloth, and travel soap. I wanted to be sure that no matter where she is when she starts, she feels prepared and loved.

While doing this I immediately thought of Eve. Wasn’t there some type of bargaining or another deal she could have worked out with God? Truthfully, I think I’d rather work with Adams curse because, let’s be honest, we as women already do it. Which is why this is titled Girl Power!

"Cursed is the ground because of you; through painful toil you will eat food from it all the days of your life." Genesis 3:17) New International Version

We already work that hard but we’ve added labor, pain and menstruation to it. Frankly, I think that type of pain should be a man's punishment. I'm not trying to change genetics or anything, I'm just saying what most women are probably thinking. LOL

Anyway, I decided that while I’m explaining to my daughter all the things to come as she enters this phase that when it happens we are going to celebrate her! I’m gonna take her to a restaurant of her choice and we’re going to eat our way into womanhood! We’re going to celebrate cramps, pads, 7 day periods of bleeding and eventually one day her ability to bring life into this world! I remember watching Clair Huxstable give Rudy a period party and welcoming her into this journey, and thinking one day I’d want to do something similar for my daughter. I remember the tender affection my own mother showed me during my cycle because I suffered miserably every month until I was in my early 20’s.

I also remember the embarrassment that menstruating brought me. It’s not something I ever wanted to discuss, and I remember not wanting my Mom announcing it to her friends or my family. Even though I heard her do so over the phone when it happened. I remember feeling shame and misery to the point I’d hide my used pads. (it was gross) I want to change this for my daughter! I want her to feel comfortable and to be celebrated! Even if she has miserable cramps and menstruation. I want her to feel like her journey into womanhood will be worth it and is something to be proud of!

Want care package info:

a sparkly pouch I purchased from Target

2 pads, a pair of underwear and some cutoff nylon control top pantyhose bc those hold a pad in place like nobody’s business.

a washcloth, and a travel soap in case she wants to wash up due to feeling yucky.

and some chocolate kisses bc um hello chocolate!

Need a travel case for your girl but don’t want to make it?

$jennb112 $20 plus shipping I got you 😉

[jenniferbibb]

Dear WSFCS,

Hi, I'm Jennifer Bibb a mother of 3 WSFCS students in K, 6th and 9th grades. As a parent to 3 African American students I understand the importance of representation, influence and knowledge. Psychologically my children need to know their history, the achievements of their ancestors and their recent history. These are important for their development, self-esteem, self-worth and identity.However as American as black history is it’s not been given its credence or weight in history books.Since it's not being given the proper attention it should be given, I am here to advocate that our district make learning African American history a mandatory class.

I will never forget the moment my 2 oldest children began learning about slavery in their elementary school. My oldest son who is now 15 and a freshman was traveling in the car with me and burst into tears about the mistreatment of black people. His 8yr old mind could not fathom how anyone could feel this was OK and this moment put a clear distinction in his mind about who he was and immediately separated him based on his skin color. He cried for a long time in our car on the way to the allergy specialists and I had to do so much damage control. From that defining moment about his history, I can't remember another moment about black history that defined his heart. Mainly because there was no other moment in his history curriculum that stood out in his mind. As you can imagine the minimal amount of achievements that are taught haven’t left an indelible mark as the former. I have worked hard as his mother to affirm him, love him and create an environment in his home where he can thrive. But now as he’s a teen and actively engaged in social media and news outlets he’s keenly aware that the color of his skin brings discomfort to certain ones around him. I am so careful in how I’m dealing with this reality because I refuse to raise my son in fear.

This happened again with my daughter once she began to learn about slavery. She also came home devastated. In her words "brown people were so mistreated, mom it was so unfair and not right.” She thought long and hard about her world and that moment proved pivotal in her view of herself as it does to everyone who begins to learn and teach about this country's racist roots. So again, I’m left to thoughtfully and prayerfully cultivate her heart and mind. Almost daily I send my kids off to school with affirmations about who they are, ask anyone of them and they’ll tell you different things but mainly they’ll say I’m a child of God, I’m smart and capable. Imagine how not learning the capability of their ancestors through history leaves a negative imprint on their young mind.

Now as I currently have a kindergartener and I am actively trying to prepare my mind and heart for how I will help him when the time comes for this lesson to be taught to him. I will not take a passive approach as I did with my others. I will allow a time for mourning, a time for reflection and I will have a curriculum or age appropriate material to help him see the strength, endurance and achievements of his ancestors. I also look forward to there being a class taught and a mandatory curriculum for all students in this district and in America for that matter.

This year as a parent I contacted all of my children’s schools to ask what they were doing to commemorate black history month as it’s important to note that Carter G Woodson created what started out as a week to celebrate black achievements. He did so in honor of Fredrick Douglass and Abraham Lincoln and it was held in February. This was not something that was ever taught to me about black history month nor was it taught to my school age children but it should be and it should be richly celebrated. I am a firm believer that the richness and vastness of black history should be celebrated in February but also taught year around and having a mandatory requirement for students of WSFCS will only enhance them. #blackhistory #mandatoryclass #americanhistory #wsfcs #blacklivesmatter o#morethanslaves #myhistorymatters o#teachourchildren #historicaltruthmatters

[jenniferbibb]

12....

There's nothing overly sensational about turning 12 years old. 12 is not particularly a milestone birthday or a special age to celebrate based on American birthday traditions but I decided to celebrate London's 12th birthday with a trip. 

In part, due to my recent return to the work force and wanting to take extra time with her, and because of her burning desire for years to go to the American Girl doll store. Moreover, I wanted to take her there before she was too old and would no longer have any desire to play with dolls. I decided I had to seize the moment before it was too late. 

I took London, my niece and one of her school friends, down to Atlanta. We did all the things she had hoped to do and then some. We went to Sephora to try on lip gloss and make up. They ate their little hearts out at the Potato Corner and everyday we went and walked the mall.

 I even took the girls to celebrate Black History, by going to the National ‪Center for Civil and Human Rights‬. The girls and I had such a blast during our trip to Atlanta. 

On Sunday we headed home. All the girls were sleeping soundly while I drove the long drive back. I was looked over at my girl as she was sleeping in the front seat beside me, my little girl was 12 now.

 I have vivid memories of my own 12th year of life. I had not seen or talked to my father in over a year. He was addicted to drugs and our relationship would not be rekindled until I was 25 years old. I had recently moved from NY to NC. Even though my home life was always dysfunctional, it was nothing near to what I experienced after this move. When I look back at the previous two school years that I had spent with my Grandparents, that period of my life was the most stable I can remember. To this day, I realize their stability helped shaped some of my adult decisions. 

After the move I began living a very toxic life. I started attending a cult-ish church and during this time I was actively being abused sexually, physically, emotionally and spiritually in my home. There were violent fights, horrible name calling, and sexual perversion that up until this point, I had never experienced. 

By the time I was 12, I had already experienced a massive amount of trauma. I was angry, hurt and confused. I was always being accused of having an attitude, being rude, mean and obnoxious. My Mother would have to come to my school because, I had been in fights or was rude to a teacher. I was hated by all the girls, or at least that’s how it felt at that time I was wildly misunderstood. My life had changed drastically. I had to throw away all of my pants and jewelry and began wearing skirts only. I could no longer be in Cheer or Step Team, watch TV, go to the movie theater, bowling alley, or anything deemed “worldly” by this church. These things could seem small but in the grand scheme of things happening it was too much.

I wouldn't be aware of the effects that these sudden and completely unnecessary changes had on me for years.

As I looked at my sleeping baby girl, she's not a baby anymore but to me she'll always be my baby girl, I could not hold it in and I wept, thankful tears. Actually it was more of a sob. So much so that I had to hold it in, as to not wake the girls. Reflecting and seeing my life in full circle was nothing short of miraculous. I remember my 12 year old young girl prayers, my young girl hopes and dreams, my young girl anguish and fears. 

People don't understand that if not properly dealt with, childhood trauma shapes their adult decisions. 

I was writing recently about the differences between my daughter and myself. She's flighty and she's got this carefree attitude. There's just a lightness in her being. I've been a bit perplexed by our differences for some time now and as I was sobbing in my car that Sunday on the way home, the Lord so clearly spoke to me; She's different from you because she's free! She’s free from all of the trauma that I had suffered. 

She’s free from molestation.

 She’s free from verbal and physical abuse.

 She’s free from religious nonsense.

 She has her father and she has security. 

She’s free to be 12, not inhibited by the affects of trauma.

 Not sidelined by the pain in her life.

 Not living in fear of night time and if someone will come to her room or the next home fight or the the barrage of false doctrine and indoctrination.

 She’s free to be an immature and moody 12 year old.

 She's free to explore her gifts and talents, like her love for singing.

 She is free to one day fulfill her hope to be a teacher, because she has nothing holding her back.

 She is free to her to dream of having a big family and a husband like her daddy.

 Free to use her imagination and her creative mind as she comes up with all sorts of unique ideas for her clothing or her creations.

 Free to love fully with that big heart that she has.

For this I give God all the glory and honor for making all these things possible for my baby girl! I'm still amazed at the handy work of God. I'm amazed to see a cycle broken!

 I'm so hopeful for her future and will forever be grateful that she escaped the pain that I had at 12.

[jenniferbibb]

what crisis pregnancy counseling taught me..

I think many times we look at women who have abortions as monsters and not as humans, we look at statistics and not people. As much as a baby is a victim many times so is the woman, working in the crisis pregnancy field showed me simply how to humanize people and not vilify them. When you’re in a room with a woman facing this decision, just you and her it does something to your heart, because before I saw the tiny life being formed, I had to view the fragmented mother that sat before me. See it’s so easy to demonize the mother to callously throw her into an immediate murderer category and jump straight to the innocent life that she’s thinking of aborting.

Because it’s easier to judge her than to spend the time getting to know her. It’s important to know the story of a woman facing this decision, it’s important to give her a name, and a face…not just because it’s her body and her baby but because storylines matter, in my short time meeting in those private rooms we get to know our girls as best as we can. We get their history, backstory, sexual past and education and you know what these things truly matter, it matters when you see a 14yr old who’s scared out of her mind, who’s family is saying “oh you’re not keeping this baby” because will you vilify her? It’s important to) even through a translator) meet the woman sobbing in her native Spanish who finds out she’s pregnant, but her husband is in Mexico and is coming home shortly it’s obviously not his baby and now her life is in danger if she keeps this baby. I will never forget this sobbing woman in sitting across from me, telling me “no no no no my husband is not here, my husband is coming though……no no no” so I hugged her, I prayed for her and she left with me knowing the fate of that precious life.

It’s important to meet the girl a rape victim who’s so afraid of men that when you take her to hear her babies heart beat she almost jumps off the table at the sight of the doctor so you hold her hand, you hug her, you pray for her and that precious child she’s carrying knowing she’s probably not going to keep the pregnancy. I learned working in crisis pregnancy that are no simple solutions, is adoption an answer? Absolutely it is, but none of the scenarios I described above were headed to the adoption agency. I met girls that considered adoption then immediately decided there was no way they’d hand their baby to a stranger, they have no family interested, they had no way of bringing a baby here and not knowing what happened it them my heart had no assurances for them.

It’s all so complicated in the heart of many women. I share all this to say as you’re taking your time outraged and appalled, vexed and heartbroken… these women need prayer, love, guidance, forgiveness and someone to see them in all of this… I’m not sure how expanding abortion rights will ever be a victory but I am sure there needs to be people in the trenches willing to do the grunt work to help women facing this tough choice heal…I am sure the children that are spared abortion need quality healthcare, education and loving parents…I think so many times we cry loud but man there’s not much else we offer after our loud cries…there is always a need for crisis pregnancy workers, adoptive and foster parents, and people willing to walk with a woman who undoubtedly feels this is and was her only choice…she needs a nonjudgmental ear, she needs a forgiving hug, she needs a shoulder to cry on, she needs a safe place to be restored…make no mistake about it….while we mourn the death of a young life there was a death implanted in the hearts of many of these women long before an abortion happens…

Here are some resources:

Confidentially contact Project Rachel 888-456-4673 (HOPE). Ask for resources near you. In addition to Project Rachel, these places can help..

- Surrendering the Secret

- Save One

- Forgiven and Set Free

- Healing a Father's Heart

- PACE

- Rachel's Vineyard

- Healing Hearts

- http://salempregnancy.org/herchoice/

[jenniferbibb]

Black like us the latest episode of Blackish elicited such a strong emotion in me that I literally cried like a baby during the episode...I’m not sure exactly where the emotion came from,maybe somewhere deep from within, when we think of beauty standards, when I’ve fielded comments like “you’re so beautiful for a black woman” when my own mulatto grandmother and family members are so color struck that any thing dark isn’t as beautiful as light skin, when I was encouraged to marry a “white man” based on ideas of grandeur due to whiteness being better, I’m so glad this episode aired but also very overwhelmed by the strong feelings deep inside....black is beautiful no matter the shade it’s truly time to bury the colorist hatchet and allow all shades to shine! #allblackisbeautiful #thanksblackish