“I think I’m seeing ghosts. The first one was a girl I used to know With a heart of gold That made everything flow, But that girl’s heart fell in love With my best friend Who I was in love with too. That girl with a heart of gold Turned into burning bronze That burnt me through its desire And ended up hurting nobody But the girl I loved. The next was a boy I used to date With a dog called Schnitz and a smile Of sunshine and safety. A boy I fell in love with Before I even knew what loving someone was. A boy who was older than me and the elder brother Of my bestest friend A boy who broke my heart when I realised He didn’t need me like I needed him. He didn’t love me the same way I loved him. After that boy, I saw his sister. A beautiful girl with golden waves of hair And eyes bluer than the sea in summer. A girl I grew up besides, On adventures and in daydreams. A girl who made me brave, Who knew all my deepest secrets, Who was there when I needed somebody to be. She was my first huge loss; She killed herself and took a part of me with her. She left But I never stopped loving her. Next came the first girl I fell in love with, with such ferocity It could have cause the ground to shake And mountains to move And tides to swell. A girl who lit up any room she went into, Whose laugh I loved for and smiles I dreamed of, And who made me feel like the world was right When we were together. The girl the first ghost loved And who stole my heart away. The girl who made my world spin And my heart bounce out of chest. A girl who I loved so much I thought I’d drown in it. A girl I would’ve done anything for. A girl that was toxic, But that I loved anyway. Then I saw the face of a girl I lost To stubbornness and sadness. The girl who had stayed with me Through my fiercest storms and best days, In my best moments and my worst. But she decided I was not worth spending time with one night. The only night she would have the chance to see me, Instead she chose her ex-boyfriend And that was the moment I knew That I deserved better Even though I loved her. The last ghost was perhaps the most Haunting Of them all. The ghost of a little girl With a lopsided ponytail on the top of her head and bruises under her eyes. A little girl with a toothy smile and clear, kind eyes. A little girl I could not quite recognise But knew somehow, a bit too well. She skipped through my room Beaming brighter than the sun Despite the blue marks littering her skin And then it hit me, The last ghost, The one that haunted me too deeply, The little girl, Was me. Age 6, Small and helpless, Careful and clueless, Free and ignorant. That ghost haunted me most Because she is who I lost And she was the last time I was truly happy. Me; The little girl Who nobody loved. I think I’m seeing ghosts In the nightmare of reality. I think I’m seeing the people who have affected me Most in my life. The ones who broke it, Healed it, Crushed it And made it. The ghosts that make me who I am.”
snowghoul
jbbartram-illu
theartofmadeline
2087
dededos
germansingergirl
kianamaiart
titsay
