雪梅

S I N K & S W I M

[jeonghq-blog]

🌙

[ksehyun]

kai’s body was sprawled out on the couch beneath him as he maintained the same position that he had for hours now. ( part of him knew he’d have to get up eventually — whether it was to eat or urinate was still left to be seen — and another part of him was reluctant to get up and move for even life necessities ). so he lounged, comfortable and content in his own world of silence as inho could be heard breathing somewhere nearby. ‘ your breathing is getting really loud, ’ the boy observed after a long minute of debate with himself; his voice was hoarse from lack of use, but he dismissed the worry completely before asking, ‘ what’s wrong ? ’ // @jeonghq

[jeonghq-blog]

“ is it really ?  sorry, ” he mumbles, a little sheepishly. he’s not sure why he’s a little more on the edge today, but it must have something to do with the weather. of course, it’s always the weather. he’s been confined and left to his own devices all day, which, under normal circumstances, would be a godsend. inho is in love with the idea of doing nothing, but today is different. he had wanted to take a walk, clear out the clutter in his head. the han river will have to wait for a sunnier, more promising day, it seems. noticing the burning ache in his back, he opts for a position similar to kai’s. “ as much as i love you, i’m sure you don’t need to hear a sob story. ”

[jeonghq-blog]

hxesoos.

THE flames continue to rage on as he continues to stand beside it, not looking particularly bothered while staring at inho was furrowed brows and thinned lips. though, he should be grateful that it’s inho and not someone who would actually report him to campus authorities but haesoo’s never grateful and sincerity isn’t a thing. he settles on words instead. “ enjoying the show –– ? ” haesoo starts out, low and uninterested, because that’s who he was. inho was no different than a bystander. but haesoo wonders if he could be so much more. “ want to set something on fire? ” he offers instead, turning his head towards the other while raising a brow, fingers already reaching for his cigarette carton at his back pocket. it was a lame attempt at consideration but it was still something.

he’s nonplussed, jaw slightly unhinged as he tries to process haesoo’s request. the other’s tone is unbearably casual-- the words everything but. “ i wasn’t enjoying the show, actually. though i’m sure it was captivating. ” everything haesoo does proves as much. he punctuates this with a small, almost unnoticeable smile, and it doesn’t take more than a fool to tell something’s terribly off with inho. wetting his lips, he shrugs. “ since you’re beyond the point of being afraid and i’m not sure why i’m here in the first place, sure. let’s do it. ” he wishes things would always be this simple.

[jeonghq-blog]

fmlsunny.

“the people next door are already used to it, i’m sure,” sunny said with an amused smirk. sunny finished the last drops of the beer and tried to throw it like a basket ball into the rubbish bin but it ended up hitting the edge and onto the floor it went. his attention went back to his dear friend and he scrunched his face at how adorable inho looked when he said the name of the flavor. so much that sunny smiled from ear to ear, stared at him for just a second and pinched inho’s nose softly and said, “wow, you really are just the cutest.” sunny looked through recipes on his phone while he had a playful arm around inho. sunny’s fingers traced the linings of his shirt as instructions on how to make a basic cake scrolled through. “how about this one? easy and delicious? kinda like me.” 

through half-lidded eyes, inho watches as the can sails over to the bin and groans, almost instinctively, when it hits the floor instead of disappearing among the empty egg cartons and rubbish. he’s tempted to get up and throw it away properly, but sunny’s smiling again and it’s so distracting that inho has to bask in it. “ i’m not as cute when i’m hungry, so chop chop. ” he leans over, cheek brushing the other’s collar, and squints at the recipe. “ delicious, yes, but why easy ? ”

[jeonghq-blog]

graysoons.

grayson glared when he said the word ’kid,’ but decided it was better not to respond to the ‘nickname’ since now really wasn’t the time to argue ( plus he’d be over it in the next 5 minutes ). “ fair point, ” he replied, sarcastically. “ even if you did lose me there in the middle. but the ending, when you pointed out that someone was out there in the distance ? wow, that really spoke to me. you should be a motivation speaker. ” he cracked a wide grin, giving inho a shoulder bump before finally looking at the mysterious figure coming their way. “ i hope they’re not a serial killer, i’d hate to die sober. ”

“ i will never be able to understand you kids, ” he ambles on, returning grayson’s glare with a dazzling grin. “ i can smell your sarcasm from all the way over here. which is not much of a distance, but you should close it while you still have the chance to. besides, we might not make it out of here alive if that person turns out to be a murderer. ” inho’s pretty sure he’s reciting off a soap opera from the nineties, but this should be anything but comedic. as the figure draws ever nearer, he thinks, with growing dread, that it’s uncannily familiar.

[jeonghq-blog]

kyvngmins.

she makes an attempt to hide her smile at his mild fretting, if only to seem polite and just a touch coquettish. then, kyungmin hums, standing up straight. “ well, ” she begins, gathering up her hair – bright as honey and just as soft – and throwing it over her shoulder, “ the flowers right beside each other along a row go together. ” she walks over to the window, where the tall flowers are, and gestures to them. “ but, you can also pick the flowers that fits your fancy and i’ll see what i can do. oh, and you can also send a message using just flowers; tell me what you want to say and i’ll translate it. ” she cocks her head to the side, waiting to see what he’ll decide on.

his try for composure-- or at least, some semblance of one-- proves to be futile as he finds himself looking on, still a little lost as he struggles to comprehend his predicament. it baffles him that he’s about to buy flowers from a girl he’s just managed to embarrass himself in front of, but he supposes nothing should come as a surprise anymore. “ i think ... well, i can’t exactly form a coherent thought right now, but ... i think i’d like for it to say do your homework. is that possible ? ”

[jeonghq-blog]

&. @fmlblue

thursdays don’t always turn out the way he expects them to. there are a million reasons why, and he's never come to terms with any of them. if you look at it in a rose-coloured perspective, all the better things in his life ( so far, anyway ) have befallen him on respective thursdays. he met blue yi on a thursday, and although inho knows it's pretty much useless at this point, he wishes he could still go back to that thursday and flip a switch in his mind so that maybe, just maybe, he would have walked right past the blue-haired boy instead of stopping and saying hello. he wishes he could go back, wishes he could save himself the heartbreak that would come much, much later. he can only hope. thing is, even if there are time machines somewhere on the face of this earth, he would be among the last to get a shot at it. he doesn't think he's done enough to warrant such a privilege. most good things come with slightly more lacklustre conclusions, and he supposes that's exactly what they are. blue, eyes wide and pleading ( for him to stay, stay ) and inho, eyes closed and already far, far away. it was too late to save anyone, too late to get out, but blue tried. and inho thinks that's the worst part of it all. that he couldn't bring himself to care enough about someone who loved him to the moon and probably beyond that, couldn't bring himself to at least try. he thinks about this as he watches blue from across the room, fingers drumming incessantly on the marbled countertop, lips set in a straight line. he hasn't seen the other in so, so long, he can almost feel blue's fingertips ghosting down the length of his spine again.

" if you refer to the screen, you'll find that i've already paired you up for this project. i'm sure you're absolutely thrilled. get to it. " he barely hears the lecturer's words, and has to shake himself out of his dwam before he can collect his thoughts and remember why he's here in the first place. upon recalling that it's a life science and biochemistry workshop, he flinches a little and decides never to sign up for another one. he scans down the long list of names on the screen, and feels his heart drop to his stomach when he sees the six letters of blue's full name printed next to his.

[chuulove]

POUTY BABY

[jeonghq-blog]

⇕ & ♣

ask meme ☾ status: open

i. holding their hand.

it’s a wednesday. they’re sitting at a little table in their favourite café, the day’s classes all but behind them. he isn’t sure when he started losing focus, but the colours have all blurred and he’s trying not too stare too hard at the boy in front of him. inho doesn’t know where to look; doesn’t know if he should be looking at all. he wonders if there’s a line between where they’re standing and where they’re not supposed to go, wonders if they’re just toeing the line or miles away from even being at the risk of crossing it. he watches joohyuk laugh, watches the corner of his lips fall before he takes inho’s hand in his own and laces their fingers together. he watches joohyuk begin to talk again, his careless grin threatening to push inho over the line. his heart comes to an absolute standstill for a fleeting second before he grits his teeth and returns joohyuk’s smile, his own a little shattered and crooked on the edges. he will not let himself fall, not when he knows joohyuk has someone else to run back to.

ii. finding them crying.

anxiety doesn’t come to him as much these days, but he’s always going to be running from the monsters he never tried to eradicate while he still could. they’re a part of him, and he thinks it’s no use trying to beg for any repentance when the only one not trying to save him is… well, himself. it’s storming, and he’s pretty sure he’ll see hell and a solid cold by the time tomorrow dawns, but at least he won’t be able to tell apart the tears running down his shirtfront and the rain pelting down on him. inho doesn’t even try to stumble to his feet and splutter a response when he hears footsteps fall in place to his right, and certainly doesn’t look up when he sees timberlands and ripped jeans out of the corner of his eye. the last thing he needs is for joohyuk to see him like this, a disparity from his usual verve. “go back in. don’t catch a cold because of me.”

[jeonghq-blog]

☁ Δ ☂ (soft ones for a soft pair)

ask meme ☾ status: open

i. being caught in the middle of a storm with them.

he doesn’t want to admit it, but luck has never favored him. not in the aspect of weather, anyway. he’s always either drenched from a rainstorm or drenched from standing in the sweltering heat. if he’s lucky, a little bit of hail might be thrown into the mix, too. but today is different. it’s different, because he has someone by his side. they’ve barely rounded the bend and stepped onto the path leading up to campus when the first droplet of rain lands on the bridge of his nose. inho barely has time to yell before a whole torrent of rain droplets start hurtling down in double time, not sparing their clothes and goddamned laptops. almost instinctively, inho shrugs off his jacket and hoists it so that it’s sheltering sunny’s petite frame. he laughs, cheeks colouring, not entirely sure how to register their predicament. “i’d race you, but it seems like we’ve only got one makeshift umbrella.” he doesn’t think he minds running back in the rain.

ii. playing with their hair.

“i asked her if she had a better idea, but–” inho doesn’t get to finish his sentence before he’s squirming in sunny’s lap, watching wide-eyed as the older boy entangles his fingers with soft curlicues of his own hair. it’s still the tiniest bit wet from his shower, but sunny doesn’t really seem to mind. the dancer, on the other hand, has never had his hair played with and wishes he doesn’t already like it so much. baby pink blooms like cherry blossoms on his cheeks, and he struggles to finds his words again.

iii. giving them their jumper to keep warm.

“at this rate, we’re going to need more than two heaters in your apartment,” inho attempts to grumble, pulling his legs closer to his chest. they’re huddled on the floor, a heap of blankets and swiftly ebbing warmth, and the sophomore knows he’s only complaining to close the distance between them. he blinks, eyelashes soft against his cheekbones, and watches as sunny lift his own jumper over his shoulders before reaching over. as he’s swathed in the velvety cotton, inho leans over and places a light kiss on the other’s cheek.

[blossomfully]

[jeonghq-blog]

kyvngmins.

                 kyungmin smiles a little wider, amused. he would be a terribly easy one to fool, poor thing. and, did he really just save himself with a reference from game of thrones? smooth. but not really, unless he’s looking to experience the effects of an opiate drug — he doesn’t look like the type to, but she knows better than most that looks can be deceiving, so she offers him another laugh. “ while that’s true, ” she says, leaning her weight on one leg, “ i’ve never made milk of the poppy? like, the game of thrones one. poppy milk, now, that’ll take a day or two. ”

she has definitely lost him now. deciding he’s shit out of luck with botanical terms, inho attempts, red-cheeked and flustered, to change the subject. “ well, i suppose i’d better get some flowers, then. for all the trouble i’ve caused. ” he doesn’t know who he’ll give these to, or if he’ll give them to anyone at all. perhaps, if he’s feeling up to it later, he’ll find a nice little glass vase to go with the flora. now that he’s looking around, he realizes he must be pretty stupefied to have mistaken this for a cafe. “ how do you usually do this ? ”

[jeonghq-blog]

fmlsunny.

he shrugged at his first question and said, “i dunno. just noise. your yaps and my shouts. they mix well but we can be very loud. but coffee? could you have picked a more boring drink to start the night?” sunny reluctantly let his hand go as he opened the cabinet to find his coffee grounds. “but yes, miraculously, we have coffee. it’s instant so don’t complain about the quality.” luckily there was already hot water on the kettle so he poured that right over and handed the mug of black coffee to inho. “milks in the fridge if you want some. and while you drink your boring coffee, i’m going to drink my gross beer because that’s just the type of night this is becoming.” he jumped onto the kitchen island and took a small swig of his beverage and patted the empty spot next to sunny, gesturing inho to sit next to him. “c’mere. tell me what kind of cake you like.”

yaps and shouts ? “ sounds like the people next door aren’t going to get much sleep tonight, ” he muses, grinning a little bit wider as sunny pokes fun at him for his choice of beverage. he isn’t an addict, exactly—he’s more of a devoted fan who, really, has no choice but to drink it because it’s either that or tea. ( not that he has anything against the latter, but brewing takes way too much time and he’s got the attention span of a two-year-old. ) accepting the drink with a soft murmur of thanks, he hops onto the island. cradling the mug loosely between his fingers, he tips his head to the side, trying to recall all the names of the desserts he never bothered to learn more about when his mom used to bake. “ red… red velvet ? ”

[jeonghq-blog]

hxesoos.

HAESOO lets the lingering flame that burnt at the end of his joint continue to flicker in the dark before picking the joint between his lips and flicking it towards the large trash bin that was filled with useless papers and garbage, watching with mild disinterest as the whole pile goes up in flames with nothing but the smell of pot and burning waste filling the air. it was late, probably much later for anyone to be up and sniffing around ( plus haesoo was too high to even register anything besides his mighty need to be destroy everything beautiful ) and while he continued to stand on the sidelines of the lacrosse field, lazily kicking at the dirt near the fire –– eyes finally registered the figure that stood merely a handful feet away. “ hey! ” haesoo shouted at the stranger. “ fuck off out of here. ”

inho, wrenched out of his despondency, has to turn around and see for himself the flames enveloping the bin before he even begins to register the acrid stench of cigarette smoke, of paper catching fire and of haesoo’s irritation. he finds himself at a loss for words, unable to form a coherent explanation as to why the hell he’s standing there. he isn’t a tiger, and will probably never be one. he’s not allowed on these fields, not allowed on territory he doesn’t wish to claim. “ haesoo ? sorry, i didn’t see you there. ” inho takes a split second to collect his scattered thoughts before making his way to the crown tiger himself, hands shoved deep into his pockets.

[jeonghq-blog]

joohvuks.

closed starter for ( @jeonghq )

             ––––– THERE’S JUST SOMETHING ABOUT the night that he likes, maybe it’s where inspiration just hits him in the way that the early mornings doesn’t do or maybe it’s because everything is so quiet & peaceful unlike during the middle of the day where he could hear student chattering & bickering, taking away the peace but joohyuk is sure about one thing ; he likes the time where the sun has already set & the stars have come out. smudged scribbles were being littered in the worn out notebook that he uses for his lyrics, jolting down every word before it was gone from his mind forever. he was so focused on the task that he almost didn’t hear the knocking on the door. there’s a halt in his writing when he could hear the knocking, the knocks getting louder & louder each time. joohyuk softly pads through the living room, passing by sunny’s room before he remembered that they were out somewhere, towards the door. his hand was greeted with the cold doorknob, joohyuk wasn’t sure just who the hell would come & visit this late but he’s about to find out. turning the knob, the familiar sound of the lock being unlock could be heard but decides to turn it so that it was locked again. twisting it again, unlocked. then again, locked. again & again until it’s been five times already & his mind was sure that there wouldn’t be a serial killer behind the door that separates them. turning the door a little wider, the music major was met by the small figure of inho, his eyebrows already up near his hair line at the surprise visit.  ❛ inho?? is everything okay?? ❜ he asks, glancing over at the other as he turned the door wider & motioned for the other to come in. ❛ is there something you need?? or was it just me that you missed?? ❜ turning his head around to give the other a smile & a waggle of his eyebrows before twisting & turning the doorknob another five times to make sure it’s locked. joohyuk shuffled towards the living room, sitting on the couch & patting the spot next to him for inho to sit on. ❛ sunny’s out right now, so it’s just you & me … that’s fine right?? ❜

inho thinks the day is especially beautiful when it bleeds into the beginnings of darkness, when the sun dips below the horizon just so the moon and its stars can breathe again. in a way, he’s just as sentimental as joohyuk. time has taught him that no matter what happens, there will always be constants and he only has to look for them when he needs a reminder that even if things go terribly, irreversibly wrong, he has already felt the worst possible thing years ago. so in theory, nothing can hurt him if he doesn’t let his guard down. (  which is exactly what he doesn’t see himself doing, every time he sees joohyuk. ) he knows sunny, knows him like the back of his hand, knows what he likes and what he absolutely detests. joohyuk is another case entirely. the nineteen-year-old is an enigma to inho, but the latter finds himself always wanting to figure him out, to unravel him and take a look at the notes and lullabies that lie in him. he knows it can’t be healthy, can’t be right. so when inho is greeted by a rather surprised joohyuk, instead of sunny, he hesitates before stepping into the dorm room. rubbing his arms, he offers the other a delicate smile before accepting the invitation and shuffling over to sit down. “ of course, i was just… i don’t know. i couldn’t sleep, ” he manages, voice hoarse and wavering.

[jeonghq-blog]

joohvuks.

a soft sigh falls from his lips as his gaze is appointed downwards at his barely touched food. mindlessly prodding & poking at the questionable sandwich with a fork, his appetite already long gone. ❛ .. just how many unfortunate moments can fall on a single person on one single day ? i’m just asking for .. a friend, yeah, a friend. ❜

“ what’s gotten into you, peaches ? ” having just finished training, inho’s appetite is naturally marginally better than joohyuk’s. he thinks back to the past few days, and realizes, with a hint of guilt, that he hasn’t been eating nearly enough to balance out his energy expenditure. this has happened before, and he has always walked away without rectifying anything. “ did something happen ? ” the question tumbles from his lips, around a mouthful of questionable sandwich. worry etched shamelessly on his features, inho feels tempted to sing, tempted to try and cheer joohyuk up. he wonders if it’s his place to do so.

[pinkmotelh0liday]

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Halseys studio version of her song Garden.