Jesper

the hottest and best sharpshooter you'll meet. which unfortunately for you and luckily for me, is taken

[shit-people-probably-didnt-say]

Jesper: Important question - do you picture the muffin man as a man who sells muffins OR a muffin with a face? Wy and I are arguing

Well?

A man who sells muffins

A muffin with a face

Voting ended onMay 20

[jesperrrrr-fahey]

Prove me right gang

[jesperrrrr-fahey]

What the fuck???

Mid conversation with Kaz he just gets this distant look and looks at the sky before going, "something is very wrong"

And then we hear an explosion half way across Ketterdan?!?!

[soliidago]

idk why but jesper having grown up bilingual is like super important to me

[jesperrrrr-fahey]

Me too

[dasiesanddarkness]

would like to inform you all that these are my parents in my phone:

thank you that is all

[jesperrrrr-fahey]

Kaz has siblings?

@therealkazbrekker

[jesperrrrr-fahey]

I have reasons to believe that @therealkazbrekker is proposing to @inej-wraith-ghafa

[therealkazbrekker]

For the last time. I bought some accessories to help her with her weapons

[jesperrrrr-fahey]

That was literally a wedding ring

[undercover-grisha]

Jesper: “I was reading a document to Wylan the other day in the Merchant Council, and one of the little snotty silver-spoon kids came up and asked what I was doing,”

Wylan: “The heir to the Van Dreusen fortune, but go on.”

Jesper: “I told him I was telling Wy a story, so he asked for a story, because no kid is ever satisfied. So I sat down and started to tell some old nursery tale.”

Wylan: “He did voices.”

Jesper: “And before I know it, I have a whole crowd of kids just swarming me!”

Wylan: “It convinced me we should start looking into adoption.”

Jesper: “It was horrible.”

Wylan: “You let them climb on your lap.”

[jesperrrrr-fahey]

Only because they were little demons who would cry if they didn't get their way!

[jesperrrrr-fahey]

I have reasons to believe that @therealkazbrekker is proposing to @inej-wraith-ghafa

[shit-people-probably-didnt-say]

Kaz: When society collapses what are you going to be willing to let go of?

Wylan: Being alive

Kaz:

Kaz: You know what? Same

Jesper: Uh?? No?

[jesperrrrr-fahey]

It's concerning when you two agree

[randomfandom-3]

Jesper: I’m the sexiest bitch in this therapy waiting room.

[ninaaa-zenik]

@jesperrrrr-fahey you went to therapy??? Without me?? 💔

[jesperrrrr-fahey]

I'm sorryyyy 💔

WYLAN MADE ME GO!

I would never do that to you on my own!

Just for you I'm never going to therapy again!

[brainsanalysis-deactivated20210]

Hello please reblog this if you’re okay with people sending you random asks to get to know you better

[therealkazbrekker]

WHAT IS THIS?!

What is boop? WHO IS BOOPING ME?!!

[jesperrrrr-fahey]

Boop boop boop

Mwahhahah

[thejudeduarte]

WHAT'S THE EASIEST WAY TO STEAL A MANS WALLET??

[inej-wraith-ghafa]

Knife to the throat?

[jesperrrrr-fahey]

Gun to the back?

[graaaaaayy]

nobody ever knows what’s going on in the demjin’s mind

[jesperrrrr-fahey]

I'm convinced he talks in a tongue that nobody can understand but @inej-wraith-ghafa

[lilisouless]

"now say your last words,Mr Brekker"

Kaz: this won't be my last words, you are not allowed to kill me

"how adorable, if you-"

Kaz: no,really. I made a legal documented list about the only people allowed to kill me and you are surely not there, look, its in my pocket.

"lets see: Captain Ghafa,Lady of Mourning, Councilman Van eck (the one not on the jail), Colm Fahey, Genya Safin, Imogen..well this is a decent forgery of a legal document but-"

Jesper: Hold on! i am NOT on the list?

Kaz: don't be such a baby, Matthias isn't there either

Jesper: that is worse, i am on the same level of exclusion as Helvar. Why am i not there? i am not worthy of killing you?

Kaz: you haven't earned it

"well, too bad for you two, not lets get over with the ex-"

Jesper: hold on!

Jesper: Well, if i am not worthy for you then you will not be on my list: i´ll make it right now: Inej, my dad, Madeleine Michaud because i forgot to tell her i couldn't take her for waffles again and by this point it would be just awkward, Nina only can do it on a fight, Zoya Nazyalensky only in dragon form, Wylan can only kill me by accident on a very specific way-

Wylan: gheezen,Jesper!

Jesper: great, he already knows his lines

Nina: i won't make a list, i am so trusting in my charm that i convinced the universe will make me inmortal

Inej: the only one thats allowed to take me form this world is me, i will only perish on my own hand...

Inej: or a whale, i´ll allow that but only if its a female whale

Matthias: you know what? my list pretty much consist on anyone that will make me stop hearing all of you talking

[jesperrrrr-fahey]

Still don't know why I'm not on your list?!?!

@therealkazbrekker

[she-posts-nerdy-stuff]

One of the (many) things I love about Kaz Brekker is that he actually has a very strict moral code - it’s just very broad and no-one else knows what it is

[matthias-helvarrr]

That guy wouldn't know morals if it came up to him and stuck a lollipop in his mouth

[wylan-thebombguy]

No, I think that person has a point.

Kaz has to have a limit. We just don't know what it is

[jesperrrrr-fahey]

Wanna fuck around and find out?

[rameen-ye]

To everyone on Tumblr,

I might not understand your specific type of crazy but I definitely admire your 100% dedication and commitment to it <3

[inej-wraith-ghafa]

@jesperrrrr-fahey

[jesperrrrr-fahey]

Thank you ;⁠)

I admire your dedication to loving the most messed up man in the barrel and all of Kettemdam. Takes a lot. 🎀

[maidenofcrows]

Too many jokes about Kaz becoming Wylan’s father figure. Not enough jokes about Wylan and Jesper adopting Kaz. Not in a child-parent way, but more of a feral cat way.

[jesperrrrr-fahey]

@wylan-thebombguy

Can we?

[therealkazbrekker]

No.

[wylan-thebombguy]

Yes!!

[jesperrrrr-fahey]

@therealkazbrekker we're adopting you

[therealkazbrekker]

No-

Actually does this make me part of the inheritance? I'll arrange the adoption papers

[jesperrrrr-fahey]

Only if you out live us.

I don't even know how you're still alive