sofa king happy

only god knows why i still have a tumblr and if there ever was a god it left us years ago so good luck figuring it out lmao

[rivailles]

“If you stay in this dimension too long your body’s gonna disintegrate. Do you know how painful that will be, Peter Parker? You can’t imagine… And I, for one, can’t wait to watch.”

[the-stray-liger]

Instead of making up shitty racist headcanons about Miles shoplifting join me in headcanoning him picking up ballet because he thought Gwen being a ballerina was super neat and it would help him in his spiderman job

[beefybluewerewolf]

[radiqueer]

reblog for bi/ace solidarity

[wzmage]

[rosentraume]

[livenarrator]

I can’t actually even process how bad this is. I logged of for the 17th and came back to find out 6 porn bots had followed me while I was logged out

[artwoonz]

By: Vincent Bal Instagram: @artwoonz

[gettingfitwithcrossfit-deactiva]

I love different.

This is different, and simple, and for some reason it just made my day.

[comradesaucegay]

every year around christmas me and my grandma play this fun family game called “maybe you want to put jesus in your room instead, sweetie? :)”. now, it’s important to note that the jesus referred to in our game is not actually the real jesus christ, but instead a wooden figure i made in 2011 that has an uncanny resemblance to the lord and savior himself

so what happens is that i place jesus in our living room, and my grandma smiles and asks me if i don’t want to decorate my room with him instead. i ask her in return if she thinks my jesus figure is ugly (which he is), but she reassures me that this is not the case. however, a couple of days later jesus mysteriously disappears from our living room, and appear in my room instead

now, the real jesus christ might have been able to perform a miracle like this, but please remember that the jesus in our story is only a figure made out of wood. he can not move on his own, so i think we can safely say that my grandma is the prime suspect here

the first year i would often confront my grandma about this, but she would always make up an excuse and never straight up tell me she moved him because he’s so ugly it’s an embarrassment to the family

eventually i grew tired of her lies, so now we only move jesus around in silence. one second he’s in the living room, the next he’s back in my room. in a way i think this adds an extra element of excitement to the holiday season, because you never know for sure when jesus is going to be moved again

[comradesaucegay]

and so it begins..

[voxiferous-deactivated20171119]

i was not fucking ready for this photograph

[iopele]

… this photo makes the whole thing so much better and I cannot stop laughing help I need oxygen

[shetheysports]

Wow, 3 days dead really does a lot to your figure…

[saintlaurentgirl-deactivated201]

*me to the bartender* i want something that doesn’t taste like alcohol but has a lot of alcohol in it

[ondoinganevildeedblues]

im a witch i mixed some herbs and crystals together and now my cat knows the f word 

[slavery]

How does anyone hate kids they are so funny I sold tickets to incredibles to this little girl and her mom and she’s like mom are we sitting next to each other and the moms like ya and the kid screamed YES so loud it broke my ears

[pkslider]

The other day I was bringing an older gentleman up the hill in a golf cart and we drove past this huge YMCA group of kids like 100 kids and driving past the first chunk like 10 of them yelled out “let me on” in unison and then since I’m driving so slowly to be safe, halfway in some kid leaned up and said “do you play fortnite” and I told him I played a little and he just pointed and shouted “THIS GUY PLAYS FORTNITE” and then like 20 kids started talking to me all at once about fortnite

[low-budget-mulan]

A kid asked me if I lived in the ambulance. I said yes.

[patron-saint-of-smart-asses-dea]

The hero we deserve

[treerot]

When I was on register at Kohl’s a little girl came through with her grandma and she was so very excited to tell me the meaning of her name (I think it was like warrior of god) and she begged her grandma for her phone so she could google to find out what my name means too

[newterjuice]

i wear two spinner rings on one finger and one time at my last job a young girl (probably 6-8) said “your ring is very pretty” and when i showed her it was two rings she GASPED and said “does that mean you’re marrying two people?!”

[siren-singing]

I have this necklace with a mermaid on it that I wear to work a lot and I got asked by a kid if it gave me magic powers. I leaned in real close and told her in a low voice it gave me magical girl powers but it was a secret. She got this real serious look on her face and said to her mom “that lady has superpowers, don’t tell anyone or the government will take her away”.

[business-pug]

The other day i had to give a speech at my school despite my horrific fear of public speaking and afterwards i had kid come up to me and say well done to me. It was so cute.

[mcr-minivan-deactivated20200108]

god I love tiny kids

[uberfluss]

there was a kid in one of our science camps and he spent the whole week in a lab coat and goggles screaming “CHEMICALS” at the top of his lungs. he wouldn’t even tell us his name for the first two days just screamed CHEMICALS instead.

[rare-drop-deactivated20250823]

A frog…..is just a really green gentleman.

[galexy-astra]

LET 👏 RETAIL 👏 EMPLOYEES 👏 SIT 👏

[the-real-skye]

The only major chain retail store that I know of that allows their cashiers to sit is the Aldi grocery store, a German chain. Their starting pay is also $12 an hour chain-wide.

The interior of the store looks like this so they save money on the annoying shelf restocking. Products remain in their boxes until being removed by customers.  No unboxing and putting stuff on shelves, and constantly having to rearrange it. Also, the boxes make inventory a breeze as a sealed box has a defined number of items in it. 

Typical American grocery stores have shelves like this

Every item has to be unboxed and neatly stacked on the shelves. If they get messed up by the customers, everything has to be rearranged back to specific rigid order. When you have to verify the inventory, every item has to be removed from the shelves to be counted and put back. Aldi’s also do not have plastic bags. You can buy reusable bags or simply use the empty cardboard boxes that are available.

Last is the carts. Most grocery stores have their carts strewn across the parking lots, rolling around and hitting cars until a store employee is sent out to collect them, after being yelled at by the manager when they were told to do other tasks in the meantime. Aldi’s chains those carts together and you have to put a Quarter in to release it. When you are done, you plug the chain back in and get your Quarter back. If others are lazy, you can collect and return the loose carts and collect the Quarters. 

It stops this…

Then the employees have to do this

[hclark70]

reblogging this because I love Alidis

[brighdethebonsai]

With the exception of the shelf stacking, all of this is totally normal in every single supermarket chain in the UK… what the heck America

[putrandomnamehere-deactivated20]

Same for Germany… why would you make it any more complicated than that. Just. Why not let them sit??

[queeranarchism]

They’re not normal for no reason. The right to sit during work seems normal for most retail workers in these countries because they are it is part of the labor rights that have been won by unions. Sometimes the right to sit was won in an agreement with the store and sometimes it was put down in national laws.

For example, in the UK your employer legally has to provide you with a comfortable seat if you do work that can be done while seating. In the Netherlands you have to be provided a seat if you work at a cash register for more than 4 hours a day or for more than 1 hour uninterrupted.

Unionize.

[fattyatomicmutant-deactivated20]

America’s Unions got killed.

[sushinfood]

Employees in Canada and America are regularly threatened by their employers if even a sniff of unionization is happening. No they cannot legally fire you for trying to unionize but they can cut your hours, emotionally manipulate you, turn your coworkers against you and drive you to quit. It’s awful. All to make the most money.

[kropotkhristian-deactivated2019]

I can’t believe this needs to be said, but the rich are not doing you a service by employing you. They require you. Everything they have is contingent on the fact that you work for them and do what they say. Without you, the rich have literally nothing. Workers have power over the entire economy.

It is actually workers doing a major service to their employers by not unionizing and not starting a revolution, since literally the only thing workers need to do to grind the entire economy to a halt is put their hands behind their back and stop working. That is it. Workers could crash the entire machine in one moment if they wanted.

Stop calling them “job creators.” They aren’t. They literally require you. But you dont require them. You are wealth creators. And you have the power to take it back whenever you want. You just have to organize.

[judiciousimprecation]

One of the most useful insights my father ever gave me was that “your employer owes you money”. At any given moment, you have done work that your employer has not yet written you a check for. They owe you money, and you owe them nothing

[hildawhite-deactivated20200222]

The Blues Brothers (1980)

[thefingerfuckingfemalefury]

Don’t hit Nazis with your fist

HIT THEM WITH YOUR CAR

[everywitchway-deactivated201905]

Again, just so everyone knows where this blog stands

[metapianycist]

i hate when businesses post little “only use this if you absolutely have to” signs above the buttons that open doors or on elevators

i understand wanting to save electricity but the result is that many people are going to make decisions like “i guess i can push this door open or use the stairs, even if it will contribute to my pain flare-up” and feel really shitty about pushing the button or using the elevator even if they do absolutely need it.

i hate the idea of “only use the elevator / mobility aid / medication if you absolutely must.” use the thing if it improves your quality of life. you don’t need to prove that you deserve it by needlessly suffering.

[lysanderish]

I doubt its about conserving electricity. The amount of power used by an elevator or electric door seems inconsequential and probably isn’t going to be enough to hurt your business.

It’s almost always about some able-bodied know-it-all thinking that anybody who isn’t in a wheelchair or otherwise visibly disabled doesn’t need the thing and is just being lazy.

[pom-seedss]

I mean, it’s both.

One as excuse for the other, but any penny they don’t have to spend they won’t. A lot of building owners and business owners begrudge having to “spend more money than they have to”. It’s less about cutting down on electricity to be green and more cutting electricity and required maintenance to help their bottom line as much as possible.

They are saying “if we didn’t have to have this, by law, we wouldn’t.”

It is an active disregard for disabled folks as well as a shame tactic for everyone to “enjoy” because building owners are stingy and ableist. 

[hicup]

if ur an able bodied person use the door buttons

use them every time all the time every day you see them

because if YOU use them, and they DONT work, it’s a minor inconvenience, that you can take 10 seconds out of your day to report to the building manager, or accessibility coordinator or whoever.  Best case scenario they get fixed right away, worst case scenario they can’t claim they didn’t kno it was broken if someone who needs to use the button reports they’re not working

but if someone who NEEDS to use them, even a little, finds they don’t work, that’s a much BIGGER inconvenience. The people in charge of maintaining those things can’t fix what they don’t know is broken, and the more people looking out for it, the more likely it will be fixed before it can provide a barrier to access to someone who really needs it

even if the button still works but you notice it’s inconvenient to get to report it. one of the buttons at my school was situated behind a trash can, and while you could still get to it to push it, it was gross and like just plain not cool. so i notified campus accessibility and the trashcan was moved within a few hours, after having been in front of the button for WEEKS

so basically always use the button, and if you feel bad because “welp I feel well enough that I could have gotten the heavy door open today,” don’t because it’s better that it doesn’t work on a day where it’s not a problem than it doesn’t work on a day where it is, and you’re doing your part to make sure the building remains accessible 

[jasonptodd]

this frog keeps coming by my coworker’s house and eating their cat food

[abolish-everything-deactivated2]

Bootyshorts which say “enemy of the state”

[instantwaffles-deactivated20190]

I have no impulse control

[abolish-everything-deactivated2]

I would lay down my life for you