I've remade! follow me at my new blog, @qzai if you want my shitty discourse hell content
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@radiqueer
I've remade! follow me at my new blog, @qzai if you want my shitty discourse hell content
I've remade! follow me at my new blog, @qzai if you want my shitty discourse hell content
I've remade! follow me at my new blog, @qzai if you want my shitty discourse hell content
I've remade! follow me at my new blog, @qzai if you want my shitty discourse hell content
I've remade! follow me at my new blog, @qzai if you want my shitty discourse hell content
I've remade! follow me at my new blog, @qzai if you want my shitty discourse hell content
Yeah you can unfollow me block me or whatever the fuck but im not with that "trans men have male privilege" shit
I genuinely DON'T care what anyone other than trans men have to say about this.
Trans guy here! I really like where this is coming from, and it sends a strong message for how trans people are treated, but the line fuzzes when you become “passing.”
When my guy friends pal around with me and try to make me part of the group, they expect me to degrade women with them. They expect me to go along with crass jokes and tons of objectification.
When I pass in public, I get handed the check. People look to me for answers even when a woman who’s obviously in charge is right beside me. I can even get caught up in talking over women and forgetting boundaries because I can feel myself being socialized that way.
Trans people do get treated horribly, but as trans men we also have to be careful to watch our behaviors as we strive to be “one of the guys,” and what exactly that means to us. Focus on the kind of man you want to be, not the man everyone else deems acceptable.
The above confuses actual privilege with conditional privilege. Bi, pan, ply, omni and other m-spec folks often can "pass" in public as "str8" but if as soon as they mention a previous partner they're suddenly dealing with monosexism, that's not privilege. Similarly, if a trans man is treated as a cis man, that's not privilege, because it's conditional on no one knowing that he's trans.
Further, many of the things people cite as privilege are things that should be afforded everyone. Not being disrespected in public is not a bad thing we should be avoiding or shaming people for experiencing. That's a good thing. Respect is what we're striving for with any gender based activism. In this case equality is more important than equity. That means giving respect to women, rather than taking something away from men to even things out.
The idea that feminism relies on destroying men, masculinity, or manhood because it's inherently violent is radfem rhetoric and the critical basis for TERFs and TIRFs. There is nothing to be gained from taking stuff from men as a punishment for systematic sexism, especially as that frequently targets marginalized men, as those are the only men within the reach of women's systemic power. Or people that aren't even men (trans women, nb people, intersex folks) in the name of "fighting the good fight against men" because otherwise they wouldn't be satisfied by getting to actually enact the full spectrum of violent oppression that happens against women against another person.
And dismantling radfem ideology is actually really important and illustrates the points of OP well, because many trans men exposed to feminism tend to feel like they take up too much space in many scenarios that have a primary underlying problem of women not feeling able to speak, rather than anything they've personally done. Rather, the kind of speaking is important- active listening, endorsing points that were used to make his own point, opening up the floor for women, pointing out women who got looked over, etc- rather than pressuring a trans man to simply speak less and less until he doesn't feel comfortable speaking in the space at all.
This has collectively led to many trans men, when confronted with the idea of transmisandry, to say it's "not that bad." They could be dealing with a lot of shit specific to being a trans man rather than just being trans that's impossible to understand through the lens of transphobia only, but it's not "what trans women go through" so it's not important. Nevermind that every marginalized group deserves its own community language to understand how oppression impacts them in particular.
And another important point: as a trans man in those situations, I generally choose against my own safety and shoot down those jokes at the expense of my social capital. It has frequently led to me being almost outed against my will again. I'm not honestly sure trans men are being sexist when they do these things, even if that's the ultimate effect (sexism as bigotry vs sexism as systematic oppression). I'd compare it more to a gay man panicking a harshly rejecting a woman, maybe even using sexist stereotypes to do so, out of fear of being outed. That's not to handwave the effect (sexism == bad, in all cases, obviously). But to point out the cause will continue to perpetuate the action, even if a trans man educates himself voluntarily and does feminist actions otherwise . . . when given the choice. "Choosing to be the man you want to be" is great and it helps, because gender roles are still imposed on society, but ultimately it doesn't dissipate the choices trans men have to make due to transmisandry.
“Ask medieval historian Michael McCormick what year was the worst to be alive, and he’s got an answer: “536.” Not 1349, when the Black Death wiped out half of Europe. Not 1918, when the flu killed 50 million to 100 million people, mostly young adults. But 536. In Europe, “It was the beginning of one of the worst periods to be alive, if not the worst year,” says McCormick, a historian and archaeologist who chairs the Harvard University Initiative for the Science of the Human Past. A mysterious fog plunged Europe, the Middle East, and parts of Asia into darkness, day and night—for 18 months. “For the sun gave forth its light without brightness, like the moon, during the whole year,” wrote Byzantine historian Procopius. Temperatures in the summer of 536 fell 1.5°C to 2.5°C, initiating the coldest decade in the past 2300 years. Snow fell that summer in China; crops failed; people starved. The Irish chronicles record “a failure of bread from the years 536–539.” Then, in 541, bubonic plague struck the Roman port of Pelusium, in Egypt. What came to be called the Plague of Justinian spread rapidly, wiping out one-third to one-half of the population of the eastern Roman Empire and hastening its collapse, McCormick says. Historians have long known that the middle of the sixth century was a dark hour in what used to be called the Dark Ages, but the source of the mysterious clouds has long been a puzzle. Now, an ultraprecise analysis of ice from a Swiss glacier by a team led by McCormick and glaciologist Paul Mayewski at the Climate Change Institute of The University of Maine (UM) in Orono has fingered a culprit. At a workshop at Harvard this week, the team reported that a cataclysmic volcanic eruption in Iceland spewed ash across the Northern Hemisphere early in 536. Two other massive eruptions followed, in 540 and 547. The repeated blows, followed by plague, plunged Europe into economic stagnation that lasted until 640, when another signal in the ice—a spike in airborne lead—marks a resurgence of silver mining, as the team reports in Antiquity this week.”
— “Why 536 was the worst year to be alive” from Science magazine (via principleofplenitude)
hey y'all;
this blog has had a great run and I love what I've made here—but I've been thinking about a clean fresh start and I think I need one. feel free to unfollow me here and follow me @tenderwiki. if we were mutuals I'll follow you back.
this post will repost at the end of my queue.
one fairly common experience of gifted children is wishing for pain. wishing you had some great big horrible thing in your past so that you can justify the pain you’re in, and so that you’ll deserve help. it’s exhausting and it fucks you up and to anyone out there who feels like they haven’t suffered enough to get help: you’re allowed to want help. you’re in enough pain. you deserve to feel better
Gifted kids be like let me describe something it’s very common with anyone with mental illness but I’m going to connect it to me being very smart when I was six years old haha it’s sad that I’m not constantly validated in the way I was when I was in elementary school . there’s no reason you couldn’t have just said person with a mental illness but you said gifted kids cuz you don’t feel special anymore
Uh… no.
Your argument doesn’t even hold up. You think this is about former Gifted kids being sad now because they’re not being treated like they were in elementary school, which was presumably better.
But the post was, “It’s common for Gifted children to experience deep psychological pain in elementary school.” As in, a lot of Gifted kids didn’t experience being held up as an example and praised a bunch as actually, you know… positive.
It’s not like you do anything to earn having a high IQ, any more than you earn being tall or having good eyesight. It’s just something that happens to you as you grow up. Sure, you might be able to reach things on high shelves, but you also smack your head into doorways. And from personal experience? When a teacher points you out as the only person in your grade 2 class to score perfectly on a test, fucking nobody wants to play with you at recess after.
Often growing up Gifted is just like childhood with any other neurodivergence—having social and emotional issues the people around you need to be experts to even realize you’re having trouble, much less know how to help you. A four-year-old’s parents don’t usually have to watch for “I just realized that everyone I love will inevitably die and I can’t reliably self-soothe myself when we drive away from Grandma’s, so I have NO emotional coping tools for this” meltdowns.
Oh, except there’s one difference: A lot of adults think that being intellectually smart means you will never have social problems, emotional problems, learning disabilities, or mental illnesses. So adults will literally actually say, “They’re a smart kid, they’ll figure it out” when the problem is… every other six-year-old hating you and you don’t know what you did.
Hence… the really common experience of wishing for some “real” cause of pain, because finally people would recognize that you may he a seven year old that all the grownups think is just great, but you still have really big problems you don’t know how to deal with and you really need some fucking help.
Yeah, from experience, being gifted is NOT a social advantage with other kids in grade school, and teachers are 50/50 split on hating you, too. Yeah, I could read when I was 3, but that didn’t improve my social life. If anything, my social development was stunted because I hated the other kids for being mean to me and never socialized with them.
But grownups thought school would be easy for me because I was “smart”.
We’re two trans women who can’t pay rent and bills without assistance. I’m physically disabled and we’re both pretty much housebound at the moment. We’re still trying to get access to the benefits we’re entitled to, but it’s been a long struggle. I can’t go back to work yet, so we need other people’s help to get by. We need £1500 in total for the month, for rent, food, electricity, etc.
Even small amounts can make a huge difference!
If you are able to help, this is my PayPal and my Cashapp is £everylimb
Reblogs are really appreciated.
good to acknowledge that lesbians have historically and continue to this day to provide space for gender transgression. lesbian spaces took in bi women and gave them the freedom to explore their identities. he/him lesbians and trans women have found homes in the spaces that lesbians and bi women maintained. ace women have been able to find safety and community with lesbians and their unique relationships with each other, with gender, and with society. nonbinary and transmasc people have used lesbian identity and butch/femme culture as a stepping stone towards their more authentic selves, and would not have been able to complete their journeys without the support those spaces provide. lesbian history is queer history.
the wandering aromantic
I would imagine that the asexual relationship to gender is colored by the same kind of alienation and exclusion that colored the lesbian relationship to gender in decades past. asexual and aromantic people are decentered not only by the cisheteropatriarchy but also by the lgbt community, which values interpersonal relationships, romantic bonds, and community.
as aromantic and asexual people are marginalized over and over again, removed from social frameworks by their inability to be sexual or to be romantic, so too are they alienated from the base of identity - gender - resulting in a deep-seated feeling of loss, homelessness, and depersonalization (reflected in identities like voidpunk). further layers of violent personal anguish are added when the asexual or aromantic is trans or nonbinary, a person of color, autistic, or a survivor.
this anguish is not the result of a flaw in the person but flaws in society that alienate people who are perceived as lacking essential human traits; hunger, or desire for sex or romance.
additionally, many aromantics and aromantic asexuals displace meaning from romantic and/or sexual interpersonal bonds to platonic interpersonal bonds, and are further alienated when their community fails to see and account for the importance of platonic relationships to the aromantic and aromantic asexual person. this leaves the aromantic and aromantic asexual person feeling misunderstood or lost, without a place or people who care about and account for their needs.
to deal with the lack of understanding that surrounds their identities, aromantics and aromantic asexuals have coined words like “queerplatonic” to refer to their relationships. sadly, there is little data on aromantics and asexuals and even less on their relationships to other facets of their identity.
reading this, one may leave with the impression that the aromantic and asexual identities are laced with pain and alienation. this is not the case. aromantic and asexual people have long been forming vibrant communities built on their shared appreciation for the non-sexual and non-romantic parts of life, celebrating their identities and queerness by embracing the ways in which they stand out from other lgbt identities. indeed, lgbtq allosexuals and alloromantics have much to gain from participating in the dialogue born in asexual and aromantic communities about sex, orientation, love, family, romance, queerness, history, and gender.
honestly even if you hate sp/fg/whatever this is an incredibly fucking dumb post. “watching this will reduce your capacity for empathy” only if you’re prone to that in the first place ya dumb fucking boomers. you should know better than to uncritically peddle the idea that people aren’t capable of intelligent consumption of media
My favorite bad take is that “X gender/orientation is taking RESOURCES from the REAL LGBT. My reaction every time is that meme that’s like, “You guys are getting resources?”
OH MY GOD SO
The archetypal example of a stolen resource is like: A homosexual youth gets thrown out of their parents’ house for being gay, and tries to go to a LGBTQ+ shelter. The shelter turns them away, because the space that youth might have taken is being occupied by an asexual who surely isn’t “really” oppressed.
*DRAGS HANDS DOWN FACE*
As I may have mentioned once or twice, I have worked for human resource nonprofits, like shelters and so forth. And the thing people don’t get is: A shelter at high capacity is good. If you care about a population and want them to have resources, you want to use those resources as much as possible.
Do you know the worst thing for a shelter?
Empty beds.
Shelters are generally funded, in large part, by outside sources–charitable foundations, government agencies, et cetera. They receive their funding by saying, “We have the capacity to serve 600 people a year, and in fact, we served 635! Please continue to fund us at this level because we are clearly serving a valuable purpose.”
Every shelter I’ve worked at keeps meticulous records of everyone they turned away. Because those are worth their weight in gold.
The better thing is to say, “We served 600 people this year, and we had to turn another 600 people away because we didn’t have room for them.” Because as much as it sucks to be the person turned away? This means funding bodies are more likely to say, “You know what, you’re right. We are going to give you a grant to build a second facility, and then increase your funding in the future so you can serve twice as many people.”
You will NEVER get that second shelter if it isn’t proved that people need that space but aren’t getting it. I know that being rejected is a really fundamental trauma for a lot of us, but in the broad scheme of human services, we are competing with a lot of OTHER groups that are struggling for resources, and they’re all at max capacity too.
(There actually isn’t an LGBTQ+ shelter within a thousand kilometres of me, because there just aren’t enough of us on the prairies to justify the expense. So yes, this is a bit hypothetical to me because yeah, imagine getting resources. But I’m extrapolating from what I know.)
It is the job of shelter workers to decide how to apportion resources and make sure the people who need them most get them first. When you work in a shelter, you get very good, very fast, at turning some people down because other people’s needs are more pressing. And it is better for the LGBTQ+ community at large to have someone reach out for resources that other people need more, and be turned down, than to have them quietly decide ahead of time that they don’t “deserve” those resources and never ask at all. If they asked, then you can say, “Look at all the people who asked for help, who we don’t have the resources to assist!”
If they didn’t ask, your funding bodies will say, “There’s no demand for this kind of service, so why should we waste our money on something nobody wants?”
Everything we have as a community, we have because we either got a bunch of people together and made it ourselves, or got together en masse and demanded it. That requires as many people as you can manage. If you want there to be more resources? You need to ask for them first.
please help a lesbian who was brutalized by her mother
my friend was recently beaten by her mother for being caught with her girlfriend. she sent me a photo of her face. i won’t post it but it was incredibly upsetting.
she is sleeping in her gfs car, in this brutal winter. it is incredibly incredibly dangerous. people die in this weather.
please donate to her directly: paypal.me/alexziaCS
she is trying to raise $650. if all the people reading this could slide her even one dollar she could be sleeping in a safe place tonight.