Messy hair to match my messy life

"Strange things are afoot at the Circle K." 29. Minors DNI

[xtec]

This is what the average YouTube thumbnail looks like now

[doublism]

they used to make smackable technology. you used to be able to hit your tv when it didn't work good.

[servicebunny]

It just shifted to spanking your puppy’s ass, to make them take that thick knot. Like the good little play thing they are.

[doublism]

i don't really think it's like that at all

[dragongirlsweetie]

i know the death note is supposed to be a cautionary tale but. just give it to me. it would make all of this so much easier

[dragongirlsweetie]

after a few months they would just run out of guys to make president. nobody would wanna do it they'd be like i don't want to get a heart attack no thank you

[petrofiedpuppy]

i know absolute power corrupts absolutely or whatever but i think we can trust tooie with this one its fineeee.

[dragongirlsweetie]

im literally green

[spaceshipsandpurpledrank]

[infectiouspiss]

disabled ppl we need to start lying to nosy people okay? you tell me i'm too young to need a cane and i will tell you point blank that maybe you should tell that to the guy who ran me over. you don't get an explanation of my health issues you get lies and depending on how much of an asshole i want to be that lie will be anything from a humble car crash to a 1 billion lions attack. mind yr business.

[infectiouspiss]

"i could never live like that" well maybe you'll have to because this happened overnight. yeah you heard me i was the most able bodied man in the world but then one morning bam i woke up disabled. yeah you could have that too. there's no cure either you'll just wake up one morning and now you have to live like me

[infectiouspiss]

"what happened" well have you ever seen looney tunes? yeah an anvil landed on me and squished me flat.

[expressions-of-nature]

by rolig_basseng

[samcormac]

what’s the rush?

[rainwasheseverythingaway]

The time will pass anyway

[si-lee-me]

[fairycosmos]

jobs for women who prioritise taking it easy and chillaxing forever

[swarnpert]

getting on the treadmill at the gym and listening to bloodcurdling screams and scary noises and running as fast as i can screaming and crying and freaking out and looking behind me like someone's chasing me for like 30 minutes and then i immediately stop and leave like nothing happened

[feldfrog]

Clown cars are really tiny, but clown shoes are really big. What's that gas pedal look like

[depsidase]

[machinot]

*clueless guy in 2006 voice* that iPhone? What a piece of junk. People are never gonna use a phone without a keyboard. I wish there was a way I could be a girl

[lightningcrashes]

DINNER IN AMERICA Dir. Adam Rehmeier | 2020

[ghostssmoke]

You're gonna be a good boy, right, Randy?

[zooiboo]

🐌☕️ ☕️🐛

they’re on a coffee date

[ngalitzine]

NEW GIRL | 2.05