Hello!! I’m Jesse!!

Welcome to my ask blog!! Ask me anything!! For all the beautiful people out there (earthlings, I think dad called them...) wondering about me, my brother, my dads, or even Shlorp, I opened this ask blog thing so you can ask me!! Yumyulack told me I should start a blog on Tumblr, so here we are! I’ll have to make him open one too.

[jesse-besse]

Welcome to my ask blog!! I love human culture and I want to learn more about it!! Some humans are really mean, but I’ve come to find out that the humans on here are super duper nice!! Please ask away!! (Hopefully yummybear will start is own blog). Both of my dads are on here. Hi dads!

(@burntvoldemort & @wackytshirts thank you for the idea!! Credit to both of you!!)

[jesse-besse]

road work ahead?

“What? So you think I’m in uncultured, huh?? I’m not like Yumyulack. ‘Uh yeah!! I sure hope it does!’”

[jesse-besse]

are you trying to be an empowering 'woman' of society? or was that just a thing that the one teacher wanted you to do? i feel like you'll do great in success!

“Key word is *trying*! I will absolutely not stop. I’ve noticed in the human society that women are underappreciated in the work place. I’m gonna try my hardest to change that!”

[jesse-besse]

favorite type of ice cream?

“Strawberry!! Duh!! It’s really sweet and it matches my pink dress! Yumyulack makes fun of me for liking it because apparently I’m ‘eating a human plant species so it’s tEcHnIcAlLy cAnIbAlIsm’ (no it’s not)”

[jesse-besse]

(Also defintely not Yumyulak) No you're a midget, which is what I hear human call those who are unsuperior and tiny.

“Hm..I’m not sure that this is actually Yumyulack because he wouldn’t ever spell his own name wrong!! This isn’t Yumyulack! You also spelled ‘inferior’ wrong. Yumyulack doesn’t misspell words..”

[jesse-besse]

lol ur short (definitley not yumyulak)

*sigh* “Yumyulack- we- we’re the same height!! You idiot!!”

[jesse-besse]

I hate the principle and the teacher from your school being jerks to you and your brother 🤬. I hope your Dads sends them to the black hole 🕳

“I know! I keep asking Korvo If he will send them to the hell dimension but he keeps saying that it’s for ‘Ansel Elgort only’ and then terry cries. But I agree. I want to send them there.”

[wackytshirts]

( quick mod PSA:

I'm trying to get done with all these wonderful asks as soon as I'm able, but I get unmotivated very easily nowadays. Therefore, answers will be slow/dead sometimes, please understand that. Thank you for all your love and support, likes and reblogs... )

[jesse-besse]

PLEASE NOTE!!

[jesse-besse]

are yall vegan or is that sorta like cannibalism

“We are basically what you call ‘vegan’. Although that term doesn’t exist on Schlorp...since all we have are plant-based lifeforms. We have our version of your earths cow, but it’s kinda like the one in Minecraft Terry screams about all the time. Think of it like this; you humans eat meat-based lifeforms all the time but it isn’t cannibalism because what you’re eating is a different species.”

[jesse-besse]

Hello, This is a Kid from your School and totally not Yumyulack writing this. I think that Yumyulack and Smarter, Cooler, and overall More Superior than you.

“Okay, ‘totally not Yumyulack’, I am better than you because I’m not an egotistical psycho who shrinks good, kind humans and puts them in a certain wall in our room!...I’m telling dad you’re bullying me!! >:) @wackytshirts DAD!! YUMYULACK IS BULLYING ME!!!”

[burntvoldemort]

Does terry flirt with you?

“Unsuccesfully.”

[wackytshirts]

" Hey-! At least I TRIED to...Trying is what matters, Korvo! I figured that the popsicle was phallic and blue, and you're blue, so I attempted it even though we don't have dicks like humans! Don't judge me, I saw it off a show once! I j-just wanted to try this flirting thing... "

[jesse-besse]

It’s okay, terry. We all make mistakes.

[burntvoldemort]

As an aspiring scientist myself, I'm really curious about your biology. When you eat food, is your waste just CO2, like Earth plants? Or is it a little more complicated than that? Also, at one point Vanbo mentioned a 'tiny, hairless mound' but you said you fuck corpses. I'm a little afraid of the answer but...how exactly do you do that? Can you spawn abracadactyls anywhere on your body (including a mound) and you use those for pleasure/fucking? I need answers!

"You do realize our replicants are also on this tumblr website?? I will not discuss details of the mature ways our people pleasure themselves on this blog. I apologize for that... I do admire your curiosity and crave for knowledge, despite everything and your tragically human origins. I really do! But-... You know. 

Also I think you meant Oxygen, not CO2. CO2 is animal waste, you silly ape nugget."

[burntvoldemort]

"Fuck! son of a bitch! shit! I-i read the question wrong-

Sure, eating food makes us burp CO2 sometimes. We don't shit; our bodies use every bit of biomass to regrow limbs or gooblering. But besides that we still turn CO2 into Oxygen through our skin like your everyday tree.

I apologize for my non-professionalism. I should be ashamed of myself for not reading correctly a question. God I feel so much shame it hurts actually. God dammit."

[jesse-besse]

“Agreed. Please don’t share about how you and terry fuck. I really do not want to know...eugh! I can already hear you two yknow...”

[jesse-besse]

yumyulak said he was superior to you how do you feel about that

“If he feels the need to say it, he obviously isn’t! We all know that I’m the superior sibling, but I don’t go around yelling it all the time.”

(@yum-yummybear id love to see a response from you! :])

[yum-yummybear]

"It's already a known fact that I'M superior, Jess."

[jesse-besse]

yumyulak said he was superior to you how do you feel about that

“If he feels the need to say it, he obviously isn’t! We all know that I’m the superior sibling, but I don’t go around yelling it all the time.”

(@yum-yummybear id love to see a response from you! :])

[jesse-besse]

Which one of your Dads do you get along most?

“Well, I get along with both of my dads super well!! ...Obviously. But which one do I get along with the most? It would obviously have to be Terry!! I am his kid, after all! I love both my dads though.”

[yum-yummybear]

How is your sister Jesse doing? Are you trying to be nicer to her?

"Yeah, I guess."

[jesse-besse]

“Can confirm!! Yummybear has actually been giving me hugs and saying nice things to me! (I’ll let you in on a secret, he hasn’t pulled a death ray on me in a week!! That’s a record!”)

[jesse-besse]

Does Sclorp have any holidays? If so, what were they?

“Yeah!! Lots of holidays. There’s the one for the creation of Schlorp, one to celebrate our beautiful soil, (theres of course birthdays but we call those blooming events) but my favorite will always be the Life Mate Bonding Rituals. Those are very big events, like Earth weddings! Both family trees will come and help prepare by getting the ceremonial garbs for each of the Schlorpians and decorate the altar with sacred flowers we have here on Schlorp. I could go on and on about this but I won’t.”