guizhongfucker69420

jester, she/they/any! 💕neighborhood dragonfucker 💕 i write shit on ao3 💕currently in college/less active!

[jesterjangles]

*giggles seductively and slides up next to you* bet you've never seen a blog as stupid as mine

[jesterjangles]

bitches love me for my pathetic posts and inactive swag

[rhine-gold-archive]

Wangshu Inn’s commissions are so funny, like. Xiao is out there all angsty “I have to continue my vigil in this never ending war to protect the mortals” and the Inn’s managers call you in like “Please kill the monsters nearby before Xiao notices them, he’s scaring the customers.”’

at first I was like “what’s even the point, AOE elemental damage is still the same,” but then I thought about it and like. If I was a guest staying at the inn and went to my window and saw idk, Ayaka’s blob of snow burst and her yelling “My apologies! Kamisato Art!”, I would think oh, it’s someone using their vision to kill the monsters, no big deal.

but if I saw flashes of green and black from sky to earth and loud screeching of “USELESS! WORTHLESS! USELESS! LAMENT! WORTHLESS! DISSAPEAR!”, I would indeed be disturbed.

but then the stairs fixing commission I don’t get at all. How does Xiao keep breaking the fucking stairs??? There are no monsters at the Inn! Does he crush into them like a pigeon into a glass door? Is he blacking out and in this state enraged by the stairs?? 

taking Xiao to stairwell fixing commission is basically like poking puppy into a chewed slipper and going “Look what you did!”

[guiltycorp]

resting at the inn and looking out the window only to see that 

[rhine-gold-archive]

#breaking stairs makes sense if the monsters tried to get inside#but is it xiao 100%?  

it refers to “young gentleman”, which is their codeman for Xiao, even wiki agrees it’s him:

so it’s like. you go to the toilet at 2 am and you see this crashing the stairs:

but like still, we never see ay monsters directly at the inn, wtf is he doing

[guiltycorp]

well! the monsters can’t climb inside the inn if there are no stairs to climb

protecting mortals 101

[oregano-gremlin]

“what are you talking about ‘they’ll fall’? they should just carry polearms.”

“what do you mean they don’t know how to use polearms”

“what do you mean most people get hurt falling from high places”

[mc-pumpkin]

I can’t say I’m surprised but What

[spaceyshenanigans]

[dread-bed]

This is the dumbest thing I’ve made this week

[reslake]

a car goes full speed off a cliff and explodes at the bottom and when the smoke clears it's actually just perfectly parallel parked

[succubusboyfriend]

sex is a lot like lord of the rings. it’s over nine hours long, there are giant deadly spiders, legolas is there

[succubusboyfriend]

i’m going back through my old lotr tags because i wanted to find a specific post but instead i found THIS post from 2015 and can i just say that it is a FUCKING CRIME that this post never got popular, frankly HOW DARE Y’ALL

[kaletalecowboy]

The character might be fictional but the tears sure aren’t

[meltesh28]

our only hope

[kaletalecowboy]

scara’s cutscene was so emotional but they did they really have to make him do the “get on discord kitten” face at the end

[darwh]

[lumpsbumpsandwhumps]

[ephodia]

welcome to sumeru guys!

[pengychan]

I don’t want characters to make Morally Correct Choices, I want them to make choices which are Consistent With Their Fucking Characterization

Literally nothing throws me out of a story faster than a character suddenly and very obviously doing something that clashes with their characterization and established goals because it’s what the author would do in their place.

[clouvu]

Snip Snip ✂️

[amilkyway]

fireflies lighting up a rural Pennsylvania field at dusk