L O S T

I found myself lost at the midst of my thought.

[jimidesuu]

Life has consumed me...

I am in my deepest and darkest hour of my life...

I have found myself lost in, wandering around...

Fighting, Living, and Doing what I could just to survive and get pass through a day...

Nothing's working out....

I try to get out of my shell, but I feel unwelcome in this face..

I tryna be good but nothing good is working out...

I'm tryna find Joy and Peace, but I just know that it wasn't around...

I smile, I laugh, but behind my tough, it is not enough...

How do I grow from this seed...

What water, sun, fertilizer do I need to help me grow....

I have live long, all has grown old, but not a single one has gone and sold....

Nothing's valueable, there is no value, I see no value....

In this life of mine, all I have is my mind....

I'm living without a heart, wandering around...

Seeking, Paddling, Walking, to see where I be bound...

[jimidesuu]

My Sweet Flower

O sweet flower of mine, When would you bloom? Have I not pollunated you like the bees would do? Have the trees up high covered the sun and took away the sunlight from you?  

O sweet flower of mine  Have you grown cold and bloom thorns instead?  But even thorns have already grown on your spine. 

 I would still pick you, Beautiful flower of mine.

[jimidesuu]

Je ne regrette rien

And time has meet us up again, Fate has been with me all the time, We’ve might separated, But the past has been buried Let’s make over, And start a new one, Again.

[jimidesuu]

Words

Lost words, drowned with thoughts.

You are my guide whenever I'm lost

The guide that is so mysterious.

The guide, that I will love seriously.

But not everyday you'll be okay.

And I want you to know that I'm here to stay

I wont leave you until you're ready again.

And please, don't leave me even I'm such a pain

Even if our world starts falling apart

Still, I will never give up nor turn on my back.

Because for me, you are the greatest art

That was given by no one else other than God.

Now as I pick up my words and tell everything to you

No one is worth more than someone like you my love.

I love you, through this word I tell you

My world is complete when I'm with you.

[jimidesuu]

For you

I want you to know that I will love you always

Even if we are on our sorrowful days

Still I love you more than you could ever know,

Because you will always be the star that always glow

You make me happy by your beautiful smiles,

Like I saw my beautiful future bride

That I will wait until it's time

And forever our love will always shine

I always tell you how much I assume

Because, pause is not better than resume

Can't get what I just said?

Just remember, that I am waiting for you to love me too.

Hahaha, odd words aren't they?

Don't mind it, just mind of me okay?

[jimidesuu]

Never thought that night can be scary. Mourning always awaits me.

- your caller

[jimidesuu]

The butterfly of my life

I saw how beautiful you were

The way you flap your wings showing your tatoo

Coovering your past,

I was so deceived by your beaute

That I lost my thoughts in this world

And forget everything.

But even if you were so reticent

I tried to forget,

And all I see was you.

I love you, my butterfly.

[jimidesuu]

I missed you

Your caller

[jimidesuu]

Your voice is my daily weed.

- The voice that I always hear

[jimidesuu]

Eyes : I'm sorry heart

Heart : For what ?

Eyes : For seeing something that you shouldn't know

Heart : Well, it hurts.

[jimidesuu]

A great adventure

How far does life go on ?

Well no one knows

For life is a great adventure

To sweep the land

Dirt to dirt, rock to rock.

To sail the sea

And savour the ocean deep

To fly free

On the sky of hundred thoughts

To gaze at night sky

Sharing the same star we hold

To hope something

Sun crossing paths with moon

To love, or to die

Reaching the stars

That was never meant to be mine

Seeking home

Where you'll always be apart

Dying hard

Leaving for awhile

To come home

And will never be the same.

[jimidesuu]

Love is soooo....inscrutable.

[jimidesuu]

There are times

There are times that you regret the most Times that you wish you can go back To change things up  But no, we are living in reality Where all of the things that happens Has it’s purpose in our life Some are painful Some are beautiful  And some are the most regrettable. There are times that I am not awake Times where you still sleeps in your steps Walking around on a deserted way Yes, I am lost Always being driven away from home And talk to myself  I must go home,  Before home leaves me astray Broken in pieces.  Maybe, Maybe i’ll just sleep Under that gloomy night In a cold and dark place Where your heart Murmurs saying I miss home 

[jimidesuu]

I'll be waiting

I may be a man

But i'll be waiting

Even though I must move on

Accepting the reality

That slaps me for almost a million times,

Still I don't know

Why do I hope to you

Envisaging you and me

That was never meant to be

And in the end

It was me who's hurting myself.

I've been so childish and shy

To be blunt unto what I feel,

I'm waiting,

To hear your sweet voice call my name

To talk to me like how you talk to him,

To laugh with me like how you laugh with him,

I can't spit this words anymore

Except to a note which am doing right now

I'm , not pressuring you

To say yes or no

But please let me know

If you would make me wait

Because I've already know it

That your not ready yet

But I promised myself

That i'll wait

For you

Until I grow old.

[jimidesuu]

You that was never gone

You've become my daily work

Always popping up from me,

Making me think of you always,

And forcing me

For your to become my priority.

I am slave to you

But maybe mine self only acknowledge it.

In the end I am not the one

Who's holding the key to open you

I was thirsty of love

That blinds me from the truth

That my hunger for your self

Is not mine to take for granted.

[jimidesuu]

If only...maybe...impossible

If only you would talk to me like how you talk to others, If only you can make fun of me  like your having fun with others, If only you would talk to me openly like how you do to others, If only you will hit me like you hit others, If only you could love me like how I’ve loved you

maybe, maybe my heart will overjoy maybe my heart won’t cry anymore maybe I won’t envy those “others” maybe I’ll be the happiest person

But no, that’s just me being unfair and that’s just me creating my own world where you and I shines forgetting what is “Reality” sleeping in my dreams so far as I’ve longed for you.

[jimidesuu]

Awhile

It’s been a while now, Since I’ve felt your voice Now I questioned myself How are you these days ? If only you knew  How much I think of you Even I am away from you Nor being crowded by people Still I can’t forget you, The scent of your hair  Passing through me, Your sweet voice  Reaching out to my heart Then says Thank you, I am now fed up Fed up with you Since I’ve longed for you, I miss you.