Jar Jar Binks Fan Club
hello vonnie
Product Placement
#extradirty
Love Begins
untitled
oozey mess
❣ Chile in a Photography ❣
sheepfilms
"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"
Today's Document
Not today Justin
KIROKAZE
EXPECTATIONS
RMH
PR's Tumblrdome
NASA
Kiana Khansmith
titsay
The Stonewall Inn
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@jjrousseausconspiracy
hello I am at my wits end and I need to know something. Do you talk to your mother every day?
Yes
No
No nuance. If you don’t have a mother/are no contact etc this is not a poll for you.
You can elaborate as to how often you feel is a regular amount of communication between an adult child and their mother.
there are more weird small brown mammals than you could ever ever imagine
You dont know this one
Yesterday, I was at dinner with some friends and briefly forgot Harrison Ford’s name, but I was like, “His name is a president and a car,” which is how we got such acceptable alternatives as McKinley Camry, Van Buren Gremlin, Clinton Infinity, and Range Rover Cleveland.
Lincoln Lincoln
the thing about State Parks is they range from Pleasant Nothingburger #52 to The Tightest Shit You Ever Saw That Nobody's Heard Of
imagine randomly stumbling across Palouse Falls State Park in the middle of bugfuck nowhere single-lane highway and fields in every direction. it could happen to you. it happened to me.
When you get more objective about the way nature is & away from weird anthropomorphic carnivore slander it is a little funny when the baby sea turtles hatch and every other animal in like a ten mile radius goes "oh fuck yum one million mini sliders"
[ID: a screenshot of the original post's tags that read, "#real turtleheads know this is a play on sliders (turtle emoji) which are a type of terrestrial turtle. but it's also tiny hamburgers #which seems apt. #this has been another episode of Joke Explainer" /end ID]
Keeping these actually. Necessary footnote for this post
Watching a jaguar casually walk up to an adult sea turtle headed back to the water after laying her eggs and eat it like why am I in my sea turtle violence era and why are they like this. Adult sea turtles aren't especially easy to eat in the water they'll swim around with shark bites taken out of them like they're just chillin. And then on land they just kinda
Jaguar watching a sea turtle on the beach: oh fuck yum 100 pound slider
Also today I learned that since the jaguar scares off other smaller predators it's actually good for the sea turtle population if there are jaguars there. Cause less babies get eaten by Everything Else. I'm gonna be honest I didn't even consider that a jaguar could be on the beach
Every other animal in like a ten mile radius: I'm gonna be honest I didn't even consider that a jaguar could be on the beach
having a headache while hydrated is so unfair. you were supposed to protect me.
The people who'll go "ugh that's not what ketamine does, you people have clearly never done drugs" obviously were not there when "cast ketamine ape" was added to the list of banned spells. Because clearly you've got the wrong idea of what "cast ketamine ape" actually does.
First of all, did you know that as far as magic is concerned, it can't tell the difference between being poisoned unintentionally, being poisoned intentionally, and being intoxicated recreationally. You can straight-up fucking narcan someone with any healing spell that includes removing poison from the body. And the fun part is, they come out in full fight-or-flight. Yeah they come up swinging. Also even if your healing spells are specifically tailored to be used on humans, and are unreliable even on most other mammals, primates are so close to humans in structure that specifically human-intended spells work on them just fine.
Now picture the following: You've got a full-grown adult male cape babboon, already deep in a k-hole, somewhat conscious but with no inkling of where, how, what, or why it is, lightly concealed within some sort of material that it could easily rip through if it was in its full strength. Let's say, gently wrapped in newspaper.
Now let's say you stealthily leave a mysteriously wrapped bundle - almost the right size to contain a human child but certainly the wrong shape for that - in an inconspicuous place. Like under one of the tables at a wizard conference. Maybe under the table of someone important that you don't like. Then, at a safe distance but within reach of the magic, you cast "poison heal".
And obviously, they couldn't just ban "poison heal".
"all you ever do is complain" that's not true. I also resent.
and love..........
Drinking horn with gilded copper mounts, Europe, 15th century
from The Hunt Museum, Limerick
i was compelled
I was also compelled
“Swastikas in punk are basically another way for kids to get a rise out of their parents and maybe the press, both of whom deserve the irritation. To the extent that most of these spikedomes ever had a clue what the stuff originally meant, it only went so far as their intent to shock. “It’s like a stance”, as Ivan [Julian] says. “A real immature way of being dangerous.” Maybe. Except that after a while this casual, even ironic embrace of the totems of bigotry crosses over into the real poison… Something harder to pass off entered the air in 1977, when I started encountering little zaps like this: I opened up a copy of a Florida punk fanzine called New Order and read an article by Miriam Linna of the Cramps, Nervus Rex, and now Zantees: “I love the Ramones [because] this is the celebration of everything American — everything teenaged and wonderful and white and urban…” You could say the “white” jumping out of that sentence was just like Ornette Coleman declaring This Is Our Music, except that the same issue featured a full-page shot of Miriam and one of her little friends posing proudly with their leathers and shades and a pistol in front of the headquarters of the United White People’s Party, under a sign bearing three flags: “GOD” (cross), “COUNTRY” (stars and stripes), “RACE” (swastika). Sorry, Miriam, I can go just so far with affectations of kneejerk cretinism before I puke.”
— Lester Bangs, The White Noise Supremacists
I am once again asking all punks and fellow goths to read The White Noise Supremacists before saying punk was “always” about kindness and leftism.
I figured all this was in the Lenny Bruce spirit of let’s-defuse-them-epithets-by-slinging-‘em-out in Detroit I thought absolutely nothing of going to parties with people like David Ruffin and Bobby Womack where I’d get drunk, maul the women, and improvise blues songs along the lines of “Sho’ wish ah wuz a n[*****] / Then mah dick’d be bigger,” and of course they all laughed. It took years before I realized what an asshole I’d been, not to mention how lucky I was to get out of there with my white hide intact. I’m sure a lot of those guys were very happy to see this white kid drunk on his ass making a complete fool if not a human TV set out of himself, but to this day I wonder how many of them hated my guts right then. Because Lenny Bruce was wrong—maybe in a better world than this such parlor games would amount to cleansing jet offtakes, and between friends, where a certain bond of mutual trust has been firmly established, good natured racial tradeoffs can be part of the vocabulary of understood affections. But beyond that trouble begins—when you fail to realize that no matter how harmless your intentions are, there is no reason to think that any shit that comes out of your mouth is going to be understood or happily received. Took me a long time to find it out, but those words are lethal, man, and you shouldn’t just go slinging them around for effect. This seems almost too simple and obvious to say, but maybe it’s good to have something simple and obvious stated once in a while, especially in this citadel of journalistic overthink. If you’re black or Jewish or Latin or gay those little vernacular epithets are bullets that riddle your guts and then fester and burn there, like torture-flak hailing on you wherever you go. Ivan Julian told me that whenever he hears the word “n[*****],” no matter who says it, black or white, he wants to kill. Once when I was drunk I told [Richard] Hell that the only reason hippies ever existed in the first place was because of n[*****]s, and when I mentioned it to Ivan while doing this article I said, “You probably don’t even remember- ” “Oh yeah, I remember,” he cut me off. And that was two years ago, one ostensibly harmless little slip. You take a lifetime of that, and you’ve got grounds for trying in any way possible, even if it’s only by convincing one individual at a time, to remove those words from the face of the earth. Just like Hitler and Idi Amin and all other enemies of the human race.
Commissions~!
I am desperately trying to save money for a trip to Japan in October and god has sought to wrest away any pocket change I manage to squirrel away, so please consider commissioning me! I've lowered my prices a bit to hopefully make them more accessible.
Summer Berry Mix 🍓🫐 ♡⊹˚₊
I’ve been watching so many old garbage movies recently that I’ve started to have like 60s sci fi themed nightmares where I’m being attacked by like horrible ape monsters and it’s actually scary as fuck! What an awful problem to have
Last night I had a dream about a terrible science experiment called Moon 13 that involved putting scantily clad women inside of large lava lamps to harness their innate psychic ability. I wish this was a joke
Mammal in a Sunday Dress, by Georgina M. Cox, 2026
the thing about that weird stuff americans call cheese is that if you heat it a little it becomes an excellent burger condiment despite its failings in every other area. such is the fate of the american cultural product
the American 'cheese' slice was engineered by our best scientific minds (all borrowed from Germany ofc) to melt perfectly onto a burger and for nothing else. Its only purpose is to compliment the one true product of the American people. The hamburger. (also borrowed from Germany)
reeling a little at the implication that the Kraft Single was a product of operation paperclip
the hot chocolate enjoyer when you ask where all the milk is going so fast:
i’ve seen this user post this photo as a sort of reaction image a couple times now and it makes me laugh every time. because this is the incredibly elusive marbled cat and they really do just have a tendency to look so pitiful, guilty, and empty in the head. so here’s some more photos of them looking like there’s just one marble bouncing around their skull:
billy joel beefs with a second grader: the movie (1988)
