Anxious Happiness
I have met so many wonderful people in my life. They're like a full pack of seasoning and colors that brought life in my plain living. I am totally blessed with those people who stayed with me and also who left me. My friends, family, lovers and partners made me feel like I am worthy to have this life. To live with it to the fullest as I can. But as I step forward, I grasp them even tighter. Because I am afraid, I am anxious, that a time will come that Ill be the only one who is continuing this journey. As I saw them happily smiling, my heart feels a void inside. A void that eats my whole-being slowly enough to feel every bit of pain. The pain of being neglected. But as I feel this weight in my heart, I realize being neglected is just nothing because what pains more is when you did not feel at all. My happiness will never be out weighted by my gap. Yes, the void and the bliss will do co-exist with each other but it is my choice to be inspired. It is me who will decide which will be greater than the other. And any words wont be enough how can I show gratitude to my life and to all of the people who completes me. I just know how to genuinely smile at them to give a glimpse of my thankful heart.