Haven't thought of a good title yet.

[beardedmrbean]

one of those things you have to record so people don't think you're lying when you tell them about it

[jame7t]

there’s a war between Sucking and Fucking

[jame7t]

you people cannot be trusted in the war room

[markv5]

[throathole]

[pankendev]

heckin her doggostyle with my wholesome chonker

[cryptotheism]

Tumblrs little celebrity interview things would do so much better if every other one was like "we found a waste management guy named Mike, ask him questions!"

[kuttithevangu]

the new fantasy genre, popehunk, encompasses all books in which historical figures responsible for real atrocities are presented as sexy and potentially suffering from a cute lil' anxiety disorder

[playwrongs]

there's nothing i like more as a computer program than a long period of silent contemplation - not doing anything, not rushing anywhere, just standing here and enjoying this moment with the user. oh, it seems once again he has summoned my beautiful and ruthless wife Task Manager. hello, my darling! what are you doing with that long cruel scimitar

[over-sleep]

[loki-cat2]

today i learned fish can be dicks

[runwithskizzers]

i am laughing so hard that white fish is such a piece of shit and i love it

[ostolero]

[retroactivebakeries]

#q: how is that possible?#a: i dunno i didn’t do it

[maxknightley]

applying to jobs if it was good

[fireleaptfromhousetohouse]

[mevil]

[throathole]

A cum bomb detonated in my fuck canal ✍🏻

[clowngirrl]

[soup-mother]

Step back everyone. This post requires the delicate touch of an annoying gimmick blog

[agnesandhilda]

shoutout to the woman from my high school martial arts class who liked to get me in joint locks and then joke about how I was easy to catch. you cannot comprehend how psychosexually formative that was for me

[agnesandhilda]

imagine, if you will, having an adolescent half-crush on someone way older than you, which is also confusingly blurred up with admiration of them as a role model. now imagine that you and that person are in a social environment where it is acceptable to (platonically, consensually) choke someone. I think I was very normal about it considering the circumstances

[agnesandhilda]

she would demonstrate takedowns on her husband (also in the class, and who was not a small man) before we got to try them and the first time I saw her twist him around and down onto the floor like it was easy my entire abdomen clenched

[agnesandhilda]

I cannot stress enough how eager this guy was to be manhandled (womanhandled?) and flipped around by his wife. he was her de facto guinea pig whenever she got to teach and I never saw him unenthusiastic about it. he'd set himself up for a joint lock fully smiling. the other adults in the class occasionally teased him about it (being so quick to let your wife put you in a submission hold tends to raise a few eyebrows), and I always kind of wanted to defend him but what would I have said? like, don't worry. I won't judge you. I also like being pinned down by your wife

[draculaisagothwizzard-deactivat]

That last sentance really hits ya like a psychosexually formative takedown

[agnesandhilda]