☆Am just chillin☆ @jms-star - Tumblr Blog

pillows have stopped having a cold side some time ago

On account of the natural disaster my dog wasn't able to go to the dog pub this week and thus didn't get her sandwich turkey she gets every week. In apology for this I made her a hamburger patty, which was served to her on top of her kibble, and now she is searching the house for more hamburger patties.

bitchfitch

She seems to believe this was something that has always just been in my house and she never noticed and so if she looks hard enough she'll find more hamburger patties as clearly I summoned one from nothing.

sovietnam

kragehund-est

dont piss me off. next time you go on a trip im filling your house with galapagos finches. by the time you return, they've evolved to fill your niche. they're a better spouse to your partner. they're a better parent for your child. and? they're a better friend to me than you ever were.

kragehund-est

one time i accidentally left a flock of galapagos finches overnight in the music store i worked in. by the time i punched into work the next day, they had evolved to fill the niches of each instrument. now they're a world-renowned band. maybe you've heard of... fleetwood mac?

satan-offical

Teacher: guys this Tumblr post is 36281992 years old and only the long lost Tumblr princess can read it

Me: but teacher, I can read it just fine *starts reading in perfect tumblanese*

paige-mackenzie-memes

ritzcreation

I love the trait of Lucas being a klutz. He trips running after Claus as a little kid. He slips on a literal banana peel and face plants into the ground. He tries to drive a vehicle and crashes into everything. He trips and falls face first and loses a jar of pickles on the ground. It’s so silly he’s such a goober. The character ever.