So This Is How It Feels Being Requited
Solace
n. comfort or consolation in a time of distress or sadness.
In my previous writings, I always say that lucky are those who find true love at the right time, lucky are those people who aren’t victims of time and the playful twist and turns of fate. Funny how God answers our prayers when we least expect it. Even when we question things most of the time, even if we come to the point of asking if He ever hears our heart’s desire, and yes, friends, He does.
My kind of definition of love was sad. I used to define it as a heavy feeling. The kind that you cry yourself to sleep at night thinking that you aren’t the one for him. The kind of longing you feel every time you see him active on the social media sites but never have received any messages, yet. The kind of bittersweet feeling when you know you’re only his girl for convenience. The one he’d remember in times of trouble.
And then someone came along and made me realize that it doesn’t have to be that way. Because love should be kind, patient and should feel easy and not the other way around.
So, this is how it feels to be loved by someone unconditionally. It kind of feels new, awkward at first, having a lot of scary feelings, doubt, it just feels so weird, up to this moment, but I like how the butterflies of love make me feel. It’s like the blood vessels surrounding my stomach and intestines constrict, and the digestive muscles contract.
This is how it feels being so loved in return that I don’t remember the last time my heart has ever been broken. This is how it feels having to receive good morning and good night messages without feeling hesitant if my phone beeps again with the same message the next day. This is how it feels having to be with someone who wants to spend the rest of his life with you, despite the distance. This is how it is, not having to worry if he would be around the next day, because from the start, he made it so clear that he is committed into the relationship. And this is how it feels having someone even on your worst days that you would not want to talk to anyone.
Having someone to just be there, sit with you, watch you cry, laugh at your craziness, get mad at you at times for being careless, and someone that loves you every day in every way. I think that’s beautiful. That’s the kind of love that we all deserve. The kind that is more than you could ever imagine.
My love,
I know that today is one of those that I don’t look so good, physically and emotionally. And I don’t want to talk to anyone. Maybe because of my hormones or the weather. But thank you for being my home. Thank you for making me feel all these roller coaster feelings. Thank you for being with me on my bad days and making me feel that I am still loved. Thank you for being brave and taking the risk with me. For showing up at times that I badly needed someone to be with, for taking me to the beach and enjoy the waves with me. Thank you for always making me laugh. Thank you for not making me feel that we are distance apart, because you’re always there. Thank you because in you, my love, I found my solace. In you, the chaotic heart of mine found peace. Thank you for everything that you could ever be. I love you.
Love,
Nika.














