things suck
i’ve been off this site for a while and i never had the intention of coming back. but tumblr is the only thing that is somewhat private to me and no one else except some people in my real life knows about and it seems like a right place for me to rant and i’m sure no one would actually bother about.
past 3-4 years since i started working at this place, i always thought to always give it my best efforts and my all. never said no to work if i could help it. always do extra because thats the issue with being the only staff employed. but i didnt mind due to liking the job. i am able to clock in and out a little flexibly and i like the environment. the best part was having a boss who was roughly around my age, that i can talk to frankly. i was able to tell him problems and we were friends. it felt like a great thing.
started out fine until shit hit the fan the past few months. work started coming in for two very different things. i needed to help with the setup of a new F&B outlet as my boss wanted one. all the while, i still had to do my original work which was to manage the office, ensure bills were paid on time, ensure the office staff’s items like TP, soap etc was on hand, arrange for weekly cleaner to come in and ensure they are paid their daily wage. that was only just part of my responsibilities. again, i thought “sure, i can do these things,”
boss started to employ an interior designer for the outlet. he started out fine but turns out to be a pompous arsehole. he would give a date for when some items to come in. things won’t show up on time or workers won’t show up on time. the whole debacle caused delays for my own job and coordinating with others related to the outlet including brand owners and staff.
when he needs my help, he would call me and expect me do deliver miracles on the day itself. “I need a pickup truck by 5pm today to get X from Y.”
what am i to do but call for company car just to do such things? and requesting for it at the 11th hour made things hard for everyone. still, i complied.
when he needed plants, i went around and drove him from opposite ends of the earth since 9am. and around lunch time, he didnt even have the courtesy to tell me he wants to go off for lunch. instead, he left me waiting in the car for a good half hour as he was eating his own lunch.
when i brought things up because i cannot see them, i got branded as being repetitive and unreliable. snarky comments were made like “if you tell me once, its already enough. dont have to worry about this. if i dont give you, that means its not ready.”
that may fly for normal work places but my work is reliant on him to give me things on time so i could proceed with applying for government related permits. he even had the gall to say “that permit is not needed.” this is after he owes me the renovation floor plans for 3 weeks.
all that aside, he complains about me to my boss who believes every single word he said. i got a huge scolding for not performing properly the past few months cause of this. worse is this boss made lots of personal attacks. none of them were very work related and all of them very personal.
he said the way i talk to the other staff at the outlet was mean. he said that i have an attitude problem. he said that i cant even do simple matters right but he never fully mentions what except that i’m not on time. he compared me to senior members in the company who were here for 20 years and how they were always “on the ball” and that they never let messes get to their bosses’ ears.
all the while he says things like he gave me higher salary than others despite how people dont typically give others of my position that privilege. i never asked for it and he willingly gave it to me only to hang it over my head insincerely. he also said that he helped my sister with scholarship things for her studies. to my knowledge, the fund was set up to help students and he was the one who suggested i get my sister to apply for it.
since then, i get terrible anxiety just thinking about meeting my boss. waking up in the morning, i was upset that i woke up. because that would mean i have to get into work.
work was all i could think about. even when i am off work. i can hardly have a conversation with my husband and being mentally there with him.
this has to stop.
it was during the final week of december that i decided that i had enough. no more rushing around the town to buy supplies the outlet needs. no more cleaning up after the manager who was hired but unable to perform simple tasks. (story for another time)
i’ve grown weary of actually doing more than i am asked of. i’ll do what i can and no more and less. if he chooses to fire me, i can honorably say i did my best.
this post is just a reminder of these things. so i can look back and said i did it. and i’m happier for it
