What if i told you this is the funniest thing i have ever seen

Andulka
Noah Kahan
The Bowery Presents

oozey mess

if i look back, i am lost
Mike Driver

bliss lane
ojovivo

roma★
Aqua Utopia|海の底で記憶を紡ぐ
Claire Keane
Doug Jones
Sweet Seals For You, Always
NASA

@theartofmadeline
Today's Document
Misplaced Lens Cap
KIROKAZE
noise dept.

gracie abrams

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@jobookworm
What if i told you this is the funniest thing i have ever seen
Where do you stand? I learned today I am lacking as I have only read three.
<new current to read list>
Just passed a group of teenage girls walking downtown.... wearing cargo pants and platform crocs.... nature really is healing......
Cannot stress enough that this is NOT a condemnation, this is genuine delight that young girls in my town have stopped dressing up like Kardashians and are finally just goofing around on summer break in comfortable shoes and funky graphic shirts.
15 year olds should not be worries about having a thigh gap, they should be trying on SpongeBob bucket hats at the pier and drinking twice their weight in corn syrup like hummingbirds
people are the most interesting thing in the world im obsessed w everyones weird habits and funny stories. the average person is so fucked up that its funny. like no one on earth is normal n u should make it ur job to see why
not to sound like a medieval peasant or a catholic but i resent anti-carb propaganda so much like bread will never be evil it is holy it is divine it is one of life’s most simple yet decadent pleasures. love is stored in the bread
“once upon a time” in other languages
korean: “back when tigers used to smoke” (호랑이 담배 피우던 시절에) [x]
czech: “beyond seven mountain ranges, beyond seven rivers” (za sedmero horami a sedmero řekami)
georgian: “there was, and there was not, there was…” (იყო და არა იყო რა, იყო…)
hausa: “a story, a story. let it go, let it come.” [x]
romanian: “there once was, (as never before)… because if there wasn’t, it wouldn’t have been to told” (A fost odată, ca niciodată că dacă n-ar fi fost, nu s-ar mai povesti…)
lithuanian: “beyond nine seas, beyond nine lagoons: (už devynių jūrų, už devynių marių)
catalan: “see it here that in that time in which beasts spoke and people were silent…” (vet aquí que en aquell temps que les bèsties parlaven i les persones callaven…) [x]
turkish: “Once there was, and once there wasn’t. In the long-distant days of yore, when haystacks winnowed sieves, when genies played jereed in the old bathhouse, [when] fleas were barbers, [when] camels were town criers, [and when] I softly rocked my baby grandmother to sleep in her creaking cradle, there was/lived, in an exotic land, far, far away, a/an…* (Bir varmış, bir yokmuş. Evvel zaman içinde, kalbur saman içinde, cinler cirit oynar iken eski hamam içinde, pireler berber [iken], develer tellal [iken], ben ninemin beşiğini tıngır mıngır sallar iken, uzak diyarların birinde…)
HAND ON MY HEART. HAND ON MY STUPID HEART
ross gay / susan sontag / unknown / richard siken / warsan shire / lana del ray / tturing / hera lindsay bird / richard siken
In fifth grade a boy tried to impress me by swallowing a whole tadpole live and I punched him so hard that he puked and the tadpole was fine.
I kept it in a terrarium and it became a normal 🐸 despite everything. About a year afterward (I thought) it died, so I sadly put it in a shoebox in the shed until the ground thawed enough for a proper funeral but when that day came I opened the box and the frog was fine.
yk how the people who live the longest r like those old people in mediterranean countries who just sit by the sea and smoke and drink and eat good food all day and every time you see a story about them everyone will joke about how they need to start smoking a pack of day so they can live to 100. but then go back to their carb free diet that they hate and never going for walks outside and refusing to indulge in even the smallest pleasures bc they’re ‘unhealthy’. like when will we learn that the key to living long is to enjoy yourself even if it means having a glass of wine occasionally. never eating bread is not going to add 20 years to your life
Heather was a lot more bearable when she didn’t constantly hang out with Christine and Davina
Okay but is anyone else NOT ready to see 19 year old Sadie when the line "cause it reminds you of innocence" plays????
This video is going to bring a whole new depth and meaning to this song, it's going to be incredible
GET HIM
Things that made me cackle in Eternals:
1. Gilgamesh’s pie slowly flopping out of his cast iron skillet.
2. Druig knocking out Sprite with a rock. It was just so unexpected, the entire theatre erupted in laughter.
3. Constantly hearing/seeing Richard Madden and Kit Harrington say, “I love you Sersi.” GoT fans understand.
4. Thena sticking her hand in that toaster and just that whole scene with Jack and Phastos.
5. Dane continuing to ask if he could be turned into a giraffe.
Slip on shoes serve their purpose for only the first 5 and last five seconds of wearing them