[as-if-and-only-if]

jack of all trades, master also of all those trades. no prablem 👌

[charl0ttan]

dog i gotta move like yesterday

[cutecipher]

basketball players fight over the basketball because they are hypnotized before each game to believe it is their egg

[dogpuppy]

[greelin]

i’m sincerely always saying this

[shamebats]

"it's just stress" oh thank god, it's just the silent killer that slowly kills you, perfectly harmless, no need to worry

[loveridden1999]

the thing about phone in bed is that it's so awesome. almost makes you feel like betraying & destroying yourself for nothing isn't all so bad

[ur-favorite-fishgirl]

if you vote me for president i vow to make everything the ocean again. no more land only ocean. this will solve all of our problems and replace them with new, far more interesting problems

[kaijuerotica]

save me, rice mixed with some bullshit

[womanguy]

you should get a second evening for reading fan fiction. And you should get an extra day in the week to do arts and crafts.

[adhd-vibes]

i need to change my whole life in one day. watch out world. i'm about to rearrange my furniture and cut my hair and develop new yet fully formed healthy habits all in the span of 24 glorious hours. i will also be buying groceries.

[koiagain]

I guess you could say he’s ve… he’s a very h…

[tall]

[lustcannibalism]

I hate when I go to copy a picture and it doesn’t paste. Do not disobey me.

[tall]

[omtai]

Normal groceries like milk or bread or whatever running out is whatever. Just anotha day. But when stuff like salt or cooking oil or rice runs out it feels like You’re supposed to be here for me and you’re leaving. You’re just like everyone else

[door]

this is great. slowly we will build a house