giigisworld:
was there more that could’ve been said? to appease the situation that involved their hearts getting wrangled yet another time? see, one moment they were tangled up in nothing but the threaded sheets meeting the contact of their skin, and then in the next they were bickering with the fate of their relationship dangerously dangling between them like some finicky branch detaching itself from the structure of it’s own tree. it was unfamiliar yet so familiar and whatever that was, it just wasn’t them… it was awful to be anything but happy with him. yet, somehow, the words of his were dressed in thorns, taking on a stinging effect as it made correspondence with her then concrete foundation of credence in them as a couple .. in him as the one for her. especially after she’d pleaded with him not to do this.. not again. “joe.. you don’t know what you’re saying.. i already chose you. i choose to be with you… why isn’t that enough for you? please don’t..” after the overkill efforts of surprising him, running around LA as if she were a chicken without a head, making the arrangements for khai to go to the farm without her, extending her visit with him like no big deal … this was the last thing she would’ve expected from him. not that she regretted any of these things, because even now, she probably would’ve done it all over again. which was the saddest part of all. here she was in the hotel room, she didn’t expect to be back in the lonely night that had filled her with anxious, swarming thoughts like if he was so quick to forget her and not want to be apart of her life anymore … what did that mean if she was pregnant? because it really hadn’t been that long ago, she secretly ordered a test and gotten a mixed reaction from the plastic stick, not sure how to handle one solid line layered next to a fainter one. since the moment she quite furiously ( more so heartbrokenly, but she was too stubborn to admit that ) stormed out on him, and begged kendall to drive her somewhere, anywhere but the same place as the middle jonas brother she’d been through the motions of crying, resenting both males, but zayn more than anyone.. because maybe if he had just listened to her wishes, ones she expressed countless times, this wouldn’t have happened.. maybe herself too. because deep down it was rhetorically foolish to rush into something as quickly as they had. that was becoming more and more evident.
“he’s just..scared. he hasn’t left his room much. we were all worried he wouldn’t even make it on stage.” the brunette had spent more of her late afternoon, doing devil’s work, trying to push her hand in another reunion despite her fiancée‘s disapproval. but unlucky for nick, kendall was not the type to seek that. not in the least. and for that reason exactly, she was persistent in fighting her best friend tooth and nail on the appearance they’d both make hand in hand to the opening show. and that’s just what they did.. at least the women were trying. because once they’d made it halfway down the stairs, gigi could feel her lungs screaming at her from the inside. “i can’t do this, kenny.. he already made it clear he didn’t want me. i’m going to look so stupid.. i shouldn’t even be here.“ it was stupid, right? begging someone to give you another chance? after not even doing anything to instigate a break up in the first place.. because last time she checked, she was the one begging him to believe her. truthfully, her pride had exited the building a long time ago and she was still.. searching for a way to find it. she wasn’t used to just laying it all out there for someone who wasn’t even sure what he wanted. because it was beginning to change based on the day.. thankful for her best friend’s patient and comforting demeanor, they’d made it down the remainder of the staircase, with no more pending freak outs. now it was just making it across the room and finding the right words. ones that didn’t scream hi love me because i love you or.. you’re getting good at breaking my heart. maybe a casual greeting would be a good first move. “hey joe..“ her arms buckled across her chest, skin meeting the cold feeling of gold zippers on her leather jacket. “do you have a minute? i thought we could talk.. about what happened… if you want to.” because the last thing she wanted was to be the only one wanting this. wanting him. and if the thoughts racking her entire nervous system happened to be correct.. she’d have to find the courage to walk away and never come back. because gigi hadid could bear a lot, like birth for example .. but the one thing she couldn’t stomach was having this incredibly good looking guy before her stomp all over the heart that thematically beat just for him. “i feel bad how things came across last time we spoke.. and leaving. but it hurt, joe.. you know how i feel about you and it’s like it’s not enough.. i’ll do anything, just.. tell me.“
tip, tap, tap.. went Joe’s fingers against the armrest of his chair, as looked at Kendall, Nick, their obvious affections for one another ( gag ), and then back at Gigi. WOAH.. eye contact.. the long ‘can-she-see-i-REGRET-everything-about-the-other-night?’ hyphenated kind of eye contact that made Joe, want to shout out there was dollop of ketchup on her chin or something.. just ANYTHING he could use to excuse his eyes, for being so damn inexcusable right about now. but nope.. perfection. just perfection. and in a black leather jacket too, that had the singer thinking what other leather things could she pull off. NO.. stop it, Joe. you can’t have perverse thoughts about Gigi Hadid, anymore.. not when literally less than twenty-four hours ago, you kind of ( kind of ? ) broke up with her. plus, he could feel Nick, looking at him.. almost like he knew, exactly what Joe was thinking about and how he needed to make it super-fucking-clear to him, that he didn’t approve. well, too-fucking-late, Nick.. Joe, had already done it and truth be told, he’d probably do it again later tonight, when he had some time to play it all out.. in private and with his favorite instrument in his hand.
“uh what?” had he said that out loud? didn’t feel like it and judging by the look Gigi was giving him, nope.. he had to be louder.. but he also couldn’t say ‘what’ again, because he knew what she said.. his brain had finally caught up to her, “sure..” he got up, swinging his legs over the side of the chair, and avoiding Nick’s reaction like the bubonic plague. it was Kevin getting all the looks tonight.. hi bro, do my arms look good in this sleeveless shirt? do they look forgive me, Gigi, for i have sinned.. please choose me.. again.. and again.. and delete Zayn Malik’s number forever? and while, he didn’t say that or anything really, he did give Joe a thumbs up.. which was nice.. and unexpected. it was just you know, for a married guy, the brunette kind of thought Kevin, might resent him for what had happened between Sophie and himself, but really he’d just been pretty great about the whole thing.. even gave Joe, a big big hug and told him.. ‘everything was going to be, okay.’ and like he actually meant it. maybe Joe could sign Nick up for whatever class Kevin had taken on how to be a decent bro.. no? well, okay maybe next lifetime. Joe had this feeling they were all going to be Space Pirates, next time around and if Nick decided to be a dick then.. there was a pretty little red eject button, just waiting to send his pompous ass into orbit. he wondered if Gigi, would be some hot-ass space alien or if she’d be riding co-pilot with him? either way, Joe had a plan to bring a rope with him, so he could’ve lassoed it for her.. get it.. get it.. whatever the point was, in this next lifetime Zayn was living in some far, far away cosmos, that Joe could bypass with the speed of light. bye bye Malik.
but right.. time for reality. his arms folded over themselves as he leaned back against the wall behind him and did his best to keep his eyes on Gigi, but his heart away from her.. “it’s just.. is he always going to be there? doing this.. i just don’t think i could take it..” he needed to explain it to her.. so, she’d get it, because right now he didn’t think she was on the same page as him, and that was probably his bad.. “i don’t want to sound like, some broken record but..” how should he phrase this? that he was scared that 2015 was only one more Zayn Malik apology away from finding a time machine and returning itself back to the present and that he just couldn’t put his heart through that again? yeah.. maybe something like that.. “i’ve been here before, Gigi.. i know what it’s like, to be your choice and then the next day not even be on your radar.. and i know, things are different now, but also they’re not.. he’s still here. i get that he’s Khai’s father.. i’m not asking you to change that.. i know it’s always going to be that way.. but that also means he’s also always going to be here too.. and i just keep thinking.. how do i possibly stand up to that? to Khai’s dad.. the guy you loved for six years.. what if one day he says the right thing, does the right thing, and you decide, to accept that ring of his.. i’m not going to be able to survive that Gigi.. i’m too already gone, too already in love, to make it out the other end not completely broken. so, if you could just make this easy and let me go, i can get started on the whole ‘getting-over’ you thing again.. and hopefully make it through tonight, without completely breaking down and saying something stupid on stage out there like, Gigi Hadid, I love you, please comeback.. ‘cause that would be it and i’m pretty sure Nick would also boot me out of the band.” had any of that made sense? did Gigi, now understand, that Joe’s heart was in serious danger right now? and that she needed to be the strong one here and just let him go now.. before her and Zayn Malik 5.0? 6.0.. came roaring back into reality, as Joe absolutely knew it would. it was just he was kind of afraid if she said something like, she loved him back he was going to be too weak.. too goo-goo to do anything but take her back and immediately kiss her or something else really, really stupid like that.. and yet.. he kind of had his fingers and toes crossed that maybe she would. what can he say? welcome to the world of Joe Adam Jonas.. take a seat, buckle up and just pray you brought along a brown paper bag to throw up inside, when you reach the ten mile long twisty loop section, that the brunette had dubbed.. ‘the ride of his life.’
