The Sleepy Musings of a Tired Person

I'm Joe, just a human that exists. I enjoy writing, fitness, adventure, plenty of nerdy things, and breathing. This is my simple space and you're welcome to visit. 27 - Buffalo, NY, USA.

[joe-sleepy]

Buffalo, NY

Let me tell you about Buffalo, NY. 

Of all the cities I’ve ever lived in and visited throughout the United States, Buffalo, NY is definitely one of them. It’s a city where some of the most interesting things about it is outside the city proper. 

It’s a city that touts itself as “the city of good neighbors” but is shockingly insular and unless you prefer going to a bar every night, it’s not easy to meet people, even those with like minded interests. 

It’s a city that boasts a love for a mediocre football team.

It’s a city that prides itself on mediocre bar food. 

I’ve lived here for nearly four years and I just can’t wait to finally move away from it this coming Summer. It’s a draining city.

It’s a city that feels perpetually grey for most of the year. 

It’s a city that settles on mediocrity. 

I just don’t feel like I belong or fit in this city. I could never call this place home. 

[joe-sleepy]

I’m trying something a little different. 

[joe-sleepy]

[joe-sleepy]

Just a small collage of selfies I’ve recently taken that I like. 

[joe-sleepy]

“Thanks, Mr. Sonic.”

[joe-sleepy]

Covid, Closure Inevitability, and Fitness Thoughts

“I went down into a burning ring of fire and the flames went higher and it burns.”

So, the United States just stopped giving a shit about the Coronavirus.

Source: Associated Press

Source: NPR

Source: Reuters

(Which has been increasing every week since June 11th when the Florida’s case load was 1,698 and then 3,207 on June 18th and then 5,004 on June 25th.)

I could keep displaying snippets of different articles but I think it’s pretty clear and as I’m sure most of us know, the United States really stopped giving a shit. Other countries are reporting a rise in cases as well but not nearly as quickly as the United States. 

If only there was a way we could have foreseen this. If only there was some kind of sign, warnings, and suggestions as well as other precautions in place to limit the spread of this highly infectious virus.

Oh, hey Dr. Fauci. 

All we, collectively, had to do was stay home. Wear masks when we went out and be mindful of how physically close we are to one another but, I guess, that’s all I can really say. There’s nothing I can really say without feeling incredibly redundant. Anything that I can possibly say about the sheer rise in infections and the behaviors (including and especially from political leadership) that led us to this has been said a dozen times over. By the time I post this, there’s no doubt that new headlines will be much worse. 

Inevitability of Closure

With the rapid rise of infections, it’s only a matter of time before things where I live start rolling back on the opening phases. 

Numbers have fortunately been steadily (relatively) low where I live but there’s no way it’s going to stay like this for much longer. 

I want life to go back to normal as much as anyone. I miss hanging out with my friends often, going to restaurants, going to the gym, not wearing a mask whenever I’m out, among other things but I’m not going to pretend that the Coronavirus is just a mild inconvenience. I don’t want it and I don’t want to inadvertently spread it if I happen to be asymptomatic. 

Here I am wearing a mask when I was walking along the canal in North Tonawanda, NY while also doing my best to not be close to other people. It isn’t hard. When I was walking I noticed the restaurants were packed. No one was wearing a mask aside from just a few people also walking near the canal. 

This is why we’re fucked. 

Unrelated, here is a duck and her ducklings from when I was walking along the canal.

It’s just frustrating how this could have been avoided. Hell, when I’m at work I’m wearing a mask for twelve hours. Not only that, I’m the only at my job actually wearing a mask. It’s just ridiculous and I feel like we’re almost at the point of no return at this rate if we already haven’t gotten there.

I’m not going to the restaurants anytime soon. Definitely not going to the gym either even if they were to open back up. Gyms would be an absolute hot mess for the virus to easily spread, despite any precautions a gym would use.

Speaking of gyms here’s a segway into what I’ve been thinking a lot about the last couple of nights. Fitness.

Fitness Segway

So I like working out. A lot. I’ll probably delve into my inconsistent fitness adventures at some point. 

When gyms finally closed I had to shift to a much more cardio based workout routine rather than strength training. Which is fine. It prompted me to be much more mindful of the meals I prepare and start taking nutritional value much more seriously. Which is to say, I sucked a lot at eating vegetables regularly. 

As much as I miss going to gyms, even if people were behaving and gyms were to open up, I’m incredibly hesitant to go to my usual gym if it opens up. Now more than ever. So I decided I’m going to just cancel my membership outright and start slowly building my own home gym. 

You don’t need a gym to be physically active but I do miss consistently lifting weights. So that’s just what I’ll have to do. The money I’ll otherwise save, will just go to gym equipment. 

In the mean time I’ve been going on extensive runs and bike rides as well as basic cardio routines. I’m pretty excited for this transition! I’ve already purchased this pull up and dip station which will come soon! I think it’s a good start.

I don’t have anything to really end this on. That’s all I really wanted to talk about. 

[joe-sleepy]

Captain America #230

Got this in the mail! Captain America #230 from 1978. Bought it solely for the cover. 

Something interesting about golden age comics I’ve noticed. Funny thought, they smell like libraries. 

[joe-sleepy]

Came in the mail! This is exciting and I’m so happy to own this! An original printing of Secret Wars #8 graded at a 9.2! This is the issue where Spidey gets the black costume that would ultimately become Venom! 

This is such a big part of Marvel history as Venom would become one of the most popular and important characters in Marvel comics!

Whenever I buy shelves for my collection, this will definitely go up there. 

I have my eyes on Amazing Spider-Man #292, #299, and #300 for my future grail purchases!

[joe-sleepy]

Creep in the Streets

“Howdy”

So I’ve bounced around the country over the last several years. North to South West to East to North again, and so on. For a time I lived down in Wilmington, NC. If there is one stark contrast to my social experiences between living in the North and living in the South is that in the South people are much more open to talking to complete strangers whereas in the North (or at least in places like New York) if you say “Good morning” or “Hello” to a stranger you’ll either be met with a look as if you are a murderous psycho or a simple “fuck off.” 

As someone who eventually became a social chatterbox, I enjoyed being able to greet someone with a “Good morning” or “Hello!” or even a “Howdy!” 

It wasn’t out of the question to even have some small talk on occasion with a stranger that could become a potential friendship. 

Though this story isn’t about a blossoming friendship that came from decent small talk. 

Jeepers Creepers 

I have a knack for attracting outright odd people over the years. Either people who send me the occasional creepy private message to someone outright asking me to cuckold them (which is a story for another time). 

This was a day like any other Summer day in Downtown Wilmington, NC. Fucking hot. I just came out of a local comic shop and I was just wearing a tank top, some kind of sandals that weren’t crocs, and some khaki shorts.

I was heading to the river walk because it was always nice to walk alongside and relax. On my way I walked by an older man and gave my usual “howdy!” and he replied in kind. As I walked passed him I noticed he had stopped and turned back around and seemed like he wanted to chat or ask me a question. So I turned around and we had a chat.

Subtlety 

It started off innocently enough. “How are you doing?” and so on. As we went back and fourth I noticed him eyeing me up and down. He was definitely checking me out. When his eyes met my own again he said “Hey, you have really nice arms. Do you work out?” At the moment I could kind of see where this was going but I have penchant for letting things play out to see how far something might go, which can obviously be a bit of a double edged sword. I just played it straight. “Yeah! I like working out and trying to stay healthy. So I go when I can.” He gave an awkward chuckle.

Then a bit more back and forth chatter followed with a sudden “You know, you have really nice legs.” Now is when I start feeling awkward. I just say “Yeah, I make sure not to skip leg day and I like running a lot... haha...” At this point, I’m sure some people would just start making an excuse and back away. Nope, not I though. I was still curious to see if he would say anything farther. He mentioned my arms and my legs. Would he talk about my shoulders, knees, and toes next? 

So after a little bit more back and forth conversation he just gets right to it and direct.

“You know, I bet you have a really nice cock.” 

Welp, now I hit my red light and I did not want to humor him anymore. 

“Ah, okay. Well, thanks. That’s flattering and all but I have to say -- I’m not interested. Thank you but no thank you. “Huh--” he goes, “well, you look like you’ve been standing at attention this entire time. Ya sure?” “Yup, I’m sure. I’m not interested.” I said sternly. “Well you know we can probably find a little spot in a building.” I guess I had slightly opened the lid of a horny pandora’s box with this guy. He made it abundantly clear he wanted a piece of me. 

“Look, I’m not interested but if you want to try hooking up with random strangers on the street -- there’s an app for that.” “Yeah? What is it?” “It’s called Grindr, there you go and now I’m just gonna go.” and so I did. 

It’s funny in hindsight, I’d even say from a certain point of view it was comical at the moment considering how it escalated and that I did kind of see it coming. Still it’s always jarring how bold guys can be and be so outright creepy and forward. With that said, I know it’s something that women experience much more often and with much less humor, considering the risks when men are much more creepier (and worse) toward women compared to what guys experience from other men. 

[joe-sleepy]

I put this together as it is incredibly relevant to what has been happening in Minneapolis and protests popping up through the United States. Dr. King’s quotes ring true to this very day.

[joe-sleepy]

“The Destructive Eggman Empire”

Practice!

I started getting into painting with acrylics back in December. Up until recently, the paintings I’ve done have been landscapes, which I’ll get around to sharing here. Probably. 

I’ve decided to go out of my comfort zone and try practicing more with shapes. The problem with that is, I’m not creative and don’t want to paint just basic shapes so I’ve decided to think about some of my favorite franchises for inspiration! 

Here is my take on The Eggman Empire symbol inspired by the events of the current arc in the IDW Sonic the Hedgehog comics! (Comic spoilers ahead!)

The Sonic the Hedgehog franchise is a complete guilty pleasure for me. Even though the quality of the mainline games can be pretty inconsistent, most of the installments are a lot of fun and I love (most) of the characters. 

A few months ago I decided to delve into the IDW comics that follow the events of Sonic Forces. They are fantastic and some of the most entertaining and fun stories involving Sonic I’ve ever seen. The characterization and the use of video game continuity by Ian Flynn have been phenomenal. The art is top notch as well.

Currently the comics are going through what’s essentially a zombie apocalypse crafted by Eggman without the foresight of being able to stop it.

 What follows is the closest we’ll see to Sonic crossing over with The Walking Dead. Even though by the end we know things will be fine, the story is still fantastic. Even with the main cast from the games being at risk of succumbing to the metal virus, which turns anyone organic into a metal zombie robot bent on spreading the infection, there are moments that truly invoke a sense of anxiety and dread. Even with Sonic himself being infected very early on. 

The way Eggman spreads most of the virus himself is pretty psychotic - even by his normal standards. It’s truly Eggman at his most mad scientist.

And that’s what I wanted to convey with my choice of colors for this piece of fan art. I mean, he’s using a face ship to vomit the virus onto innocent people. 

The fear that comes from all this is not something that’s sugar coated at all.

The way the sense of loss and fear is conveyed is something I never would have expected to see in any official media related to Sonic the Hedgehog. It really is one of the best stories in comics right now. 

So, I think I’ve made my point pretty clear.

Here are the WIP photos!

I don’t have a steady hand whatsoever so I used a math compass for the eyes and face. Though... when trying to do the outline for the teeth, I realized pretty fast that using the compass was not going to cut it. 

I accidentally brought myself back to 2003.

So I quickly realized I was going to have to try to free hand most of the teeth. 

Getting the symbol’s teeth just right was astonishingly fucking frustrating. I got there eventually. Kind of. Used a ruler to get the teeth as straight as I reasonably could and did plenty of trial and error to make the curvature of the teeth to be mostly presentable.

After I felt I was ready to start coloring in, I filled the entire canvas with care with white paint to be a primer.

Though my hands aren’t steady and I knew sooner or later I wasn’t going t ostay in the lines. I didn’t color enough coloring books as a child. Clearly.

Though I think that somewhat worked in my favor. Helps convey a sense a chaos, I think. At least that’s my excuse to myself anyway.

Starting on the background. I started to really enjoy seeing it all come together.

And here we are! Back to the final product! I might go back to this and touch up the background. Or not. This was ultimately practice and I’m pretty satisfied with how it looks honestly.

Thanks for reading!

[joe-sleepy]

“Sir, Do You Know Why I Pulled You Over?”

I was twenty and lived in Texas at the time. It had taken me some time to get my license since I didn't have much of an opportunity to actually get one while I grew up in New York City. I didn't have much a reason to actually get one and I didn't anticipate uprooting myself and moving away at the age of eighteen.

Living just South of Houston in League City and working in Galveston, having a car was essential for day to day living. There wasn't convenient mass transit. For about a year and a half I had to rely on co-workers to go to and from work. Eventually I had the opportunity to learn and I finally earned my license.

Two weeks later, I was just finishing shopping at a Wal-Mart. It was a typical hot Summer's day in Texas and I was just wearing a tank top and shorts. I had a few bags in one hand and I was carrying a crate of water over my shoulder with the other. Going through the parking lot I couldn't remember where I parked my car -- typical. It took me some time but I eventually found my car. I lived five minutes from this Wal-Mart and I had already made a few simple trips in the last two weeks. I didn't think this would be any different because why would I?

As I left the parking lot and drove onto the road a police vehicle was behind. I didn't think anything of it. I'm not doing anything wrong, he just happens to be patrolling behind me, right?

As I’m driving I stop at a red traffic light, happily listening to music, not a care in the world and certainly not paying the cop behind me any mind. The traffic lights goes from red to green. The moment the light went to green the lights go off.

I suddenly have this feeling of dread wash over me. "What the fuck did I do!?" immediately vomited out of my mouth. I pulled over not too far past the stop light.

Suspicions

Now I'm waiting for the officer to get out of the vehicle. As he is approaching my car he comes to my passenger side window instead of my driver side, which already threw me off.

"Sir, do you know why I pulled you over?" he asked. "No, officer, I don't." I was nervous and confused. "Well, ya look suspicious." he said. That was it. I look suspicious. Not that I did anything wrong. I just looked suspicious. Gee, I wonder why. He had went on to explain it was because he saw me looking through cars in the parking lot when in reality I was finding my car and just walking alongside the cars -- like any human does when walking in a parking lot. "You were also kind of swervin' a bit when I was following you." You backpedaling son of a bitch! "Let me see your license and car insurance information."

I give him my information. Then I wait. I was really surprised. I never thought I could just look "suspicious" and I definitely wasn't swerving. It was a confusing, annoying, irritating, and nerve-wracking moment.

Eventually he comes back to my car.

Glasses

As he comes back to my window he hands me back my information. "Listen, I'mma let'chu off with a warnin'. Be careful not to be swervin', y'hear?" "Yes, officer." He is about to hand me back my driver's license and snatches it back. What the fuck? is what immediately came to mind. He looks at my license and then back to me. "Why are your glasses so close to your face?" he asked. I couldn't tell if he was being serious. "It's just my preference, sir." "Ah, okay." He hands me back my license and then snatches it away again right before I can grab it.

"Preference?” he asked in a manner as if I said something outlandish. “What'chu mean by 'preference'?" I couldn't tell at the time if he was really fucking with me and being a dick or if he was genuinely being serious. His face was straight, stern, and seemed annoyed. "I just prefer to have them close to my face?" I said, completely unsure what would have been the proper response to that question - if that even was a proper response at all.

He finally hands me back my license. "Have a nice day" he said, seeming annoyed. I drive off and feel so relieved it was finally over. Three minutes later I was home.

DWB

In the days to follow all I could think was “How could I look suspicious?” I’m me. It was another day. I wore shorts and a tank top.

When I shared this experience at work an older co-worker of mine lamented and told me I was “DWB.” “DWB? What is that supposed to mean?” “You were driving while brown.” Oh.

I had never experienced much racism in my life but it hit me. The cop had likely profiled me. This was back in 2014. Six years ago. Since then we’ve seen more and more cases of officers showing outright prejudice to people of color. While I didn’t face anything extreme and the fact I lived in Texas in an area that didn’t have many people of color - I don’t think it’s outlandish to think that I really was profiled and I just looked “suspicious” because of the way I look and took a little longer to find my car.

That moment stuck with me and while I don’t want to think every cop has an extreme prejudice and I know there are genuine good cops out there -- you never know and I can’t help but feel anxious from the experience whenever I’m driving and I’m near or pass by a police vehicle.