trying on a metaphor
we're not kids anymore.
h
DEAR READER
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祝日 / Permanent Vacation
if i look back, i am lost
YOU ARE THE REASON
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@johnathan-king
Hello. Found out some of my coworkers are on this website, so I thought it wouldn't hurt to make my own account.
Keep any and all apples away from me, please and thank you.
And before you ask. I Have No Daughter.
[Mod stuff under the cut]
Me too, Roger. Me too.
There's no way the beef u have with ur daughter is not violating some sort of ethics committee guideline principle
Right...?????
How are u getting away with this
I Do Not Have A Daughter.
And even if I did, who genuinely gives any fucks about the ethics committee??? They’re annoying as hell, and their liaison is a weirdo.
oooohh it is me. the ghost of christmas past. look into your past and become better to your daughter for it. wait ohcrap oh wait you're foundation aren't you
pretend i never said anything, just don't report this i don't want to go back in the grave
OH SECURITYYYYY!!!
Also that rat can die on the streets for all I care.
FUCK YOU
APPY IS A MUCH BETTER FATHER THAN YOU
Heck yeah I am!!
Wanna go get ice cream later? Maybe run over any twerps playing in the middle of the road with my van? :)
We CAN???
Heck yeah we can!!! Screw this other guy!!!
SINCE WHEN DID YOU HAVE A TUMBLR?!
oooohh it is me. the ghost of christmas past. look into your past and become better to your daughter for it. wait ohcrap oh wait you're foundation aren't you
pretend i never said anything, just don't report this i don't want to go back in the grave
OH SECURITYYYYY!!!
Also that rat can die on the streets for all I care.
Throws this at you
Do these “bird hurters” also work on apples?
i fucking hate happy appy i hope that red bitch is in hell
happy appy stimboard because davis morgan killed him 💔💔💔 rip happle apple
🍎.🩹.🍎
🩹.🍎.🩹
🍎.🩹.🍎
I freaking love Happy Appy thank you so much CreepCast for talking about my favorite creepypasta
I miss him.
what if i jsut follow you around while dropping apple slices like a flowergirl. for the first of april, of course.
I will report you immediately.
Whoever left an Apple in my desk as a “prank” just know I AM reporting you and requesting CCTV footage of my office from the past 3 hours.
*throws a moon-looking fruit at you*
FUCK YOU
(- @aster--king )
WHO LET YOU IN ???????
And what the hell is this thing???? Can we get some security in here ???????
You should contain the kid alongside the vending machine. That thing’s definitely anomalous. Or you could terminate it. I’ll give you 20 cents and an empty soda can if you do.
- Totally Not King
Uhhh I don't do charity work. You need to pay more than that :/ lowkey Scorpio vibes with how cheap you're being
What ????? I’m an Aries, what the hell do you mean “Scorpio vibes” ???????
And besides, I’m being cheap because that damn kid ain’t worth a cent. It’s a pest that lives on the streets and lives off weird food and seeds.
Everywhere I go I see his face
(an apple puppet with baby blue eyes and green lips fades in behind me as i talk)
Sounds familiar....
Happy Appy..? Is that you..?
