Hey Weebs

I'm blonde, tired and write JoJo | Requests are currently open (6 Requests)

[mercurymetals]

What do you think of Cherry Boyo Kakyoin?

i think he’s cute, but i also think the fandom woobifies him way too fucking much. i see him acting uwu in a lot of fanart, and while he does have softer moments here and there in canon, to me he also came off as an introverted, proud, vengeful and very ruthless individual. would be nice to see the fandom acknowledge those qualities of his… but nah, let’s just boil him down to milf jokes and pitch him as jotaro’s kawaii submissive uwu boyfriend i guess

ps. honestly i used to not care about him at all but his character song warmed me up to him. it’s the saddest shit i’ve ever heard and i listen to it whenever i’m writing sad jojo fics

[jojogremlin-blog]

Kakyoin is kinda an asshole, like if you accidentally bump into him and pour coffee on him he’s like “oh are you ok?”  but he actually wants to feed you your own shit for making a fool outta him. 

But yeah Kakyoin is an angry gamer that will arrive at your house at 4:44am and steal your kneecaps. 

[yaneyanedaze]

My Android Lover.

Now before I say anything I’d like to thank @yanderebloodlust and @abbacchiosbelt for the courage that I have now to start my own writing blog!

This is reall important to me and I’m super happy that I finally have the courage to start it!

Well, let’s roll on with it!

———————————————————————

“Come on ( y/n)! You can’t just live alone with your dog for the rest of your life! I know you can rebound from this!”

I sighed, My friend was right, but apparently my pup, Iggy, didn’t take a liking to it. Ives was my best friend, and has been for several years. But now she was starting to worry about me. I tried to explain to her that I could handle myself, and that I didn’t need her to be a mom figure but she ignored it all and did so anyways.

My name is (y/n) (l/n), and I had recently gone through a terrible breakup, one that left me broken and triggered my Depression. Ives has been trying to help me through it all, and apparently she had a plan today. She had decided that I need a companion, but she said and I quote. “Humans are trash we need something better!” Then she went rambling on about something called an Android, A humanoid companion made and programmed just for you. She told me how she had order a Pillardroid and that he was a sweetheart, cried unexpected but was still great. She gave him the nick name Eisidisi.

“Alright, Look! You’re gonna love this!” She exclaimed plopping down beside me and opened up her laptop showing me a website, a questionable website.

“We’re gonna get you an Android, Just like me!!”

I stared at her dumbfounded, Multiple Androids we’re on the screen, Several, or matter of fact, all we’re out of my price range.

“I’m gonna get you this one to start you off!” “To start off!?”

“Yep you’re gonna be getting more than one! But let’s just settle for this one right now!” After a few clicks and typing in my information, The Android finally appeared on my screen, and an automated voice rang out.

“DOPPIO VINEGAR- THE SWEET HEART ANDROID”

“Do you want to order him?” Before I could even get an Answer out, Ives clicked yes, which sent us to a thank you screen.

-THANK YOU FOR SHOPPING AT JOJOS BIZARRE ANDROIDS WE HOPE YOU ENJOY! YOUR ANDROID WILL BE DELIVERED TOMORROW MORNING MS. (Y/n)

I sighed as Ives hugged me tightly, squealing with joy. “I’m so happy for you (n/n)!! You’re not gonna be alone anymore! Well besides me and the pup.” I rolled my eyes but smiled anyways, forever grateful for what she did.

“Now out my house, it’s late!”

“Okay~! See ya tomorrow then!~”

———————The Next Morning———————

A loud knock at the front door awoke me from my sleep, I groaned and sat up in bed before slinging myself over the edge and getting up to see what it was. I guess I might’ve taken too long, and it must’ve have been the mail man, because he just gave up and asked Maintenance to open up my door, and place the package inside my apartment. I walked around the box for a bit before seeing a letter on one side.

-Thank you for ordering from us Ms. (y/n)!

Here is a list of instructions to activate and care for your new Android!Doppio comes with these things:

3 changeable outfits, (day, fancy, and lounge clothes. You can buy more for him)

Hair brushes and other cosmetics

A cell phone

A list of things he likes and dislikes (please pay attention to these!)

A promise ring (we do not know what this is for)

A list of recipes he loves to make.

Activating your Doppio should be the easiest thing in the world, there are three ways to awaken he sweet boy. 1. Just simply call his name, he’ll answer, be sweet and kind about it. 2. Say “Doppio the boss is calling you!” He’ll quickly leap out the box and reach for the nearest item that he can use as a phone 3. And finally, offer him a hug, for some reasons, our company made our Doppiodroids very touch starved for an unknown reason. So just ask “Doppio, would you like a hug?” He’ll come out slowly and shyly and give you a great big hug. (The best way to awaken him so he can be in a cheery mood)

-WARNING DO NOT MAKE YOUR DOPPIODROID JEALOUS.-

We are not responsible for any damages that may be caused by him if he gets that way, if he gets super jealous then you should quickly return him for repairs because-

The page cut off at the end, I decided to shrug it off and go ahead and awaken him.

I stood a good distance from the crate, as to not get hit was my goal, before calmly saying. “Doppio, Dear, would you like a hug?” I said loudly. A few seconds went by then a whole minute, I sighed to myself and shook my head thinking. ‘this is so stupid..why did I even let Ives order me this thing..’ I mumbled turning around to head to my kitchen. Before I could even get to the kitchen, I was tackled but what I would assume was ‘Doppio’.

“Yay! I’m so glad you awakened me! I was waiting for you open the crate, it was so stuffy in there.”

I managed to turn myself around and get a better look at the male, he had pale skin with freckles layering his body, bright bubble gum pink hair and dazzling yellow eyes, he wore a simple pair of blue pants and a pink sweater with his chest showing. I blushed before slowly sitting up and getting him to sit down in-front of me. I was intrigued, he looked like a normal man, minus the few metallic areas, (many metallic areas).

“What’s your name Master?” He asked. He spoke like a normal human being too, I got shy and turned away slightly “My names, (Y/n) (l/n), also you don’t have to call me master, just call me (n/n)!” I said. He stared at me blankly for a second before a large smile appeared on his face.

“Okay (n/n)!! It sounds really cute!”

God he’s too cute for his own good, I eventually got off the floor and looked at the papers that came with him, just legal documents saying that he was under my wing and my responsibility. I quickly signed most of those except for one.

It caught my eye.

Doppiodroids tend to have fits, in which they become a totally different person, we are not responsible for any injuries or deaths surrounding it.

I froze for a second before setting that one aside for now, standing up and going to where I had left Doppio, in the den, in-front of the tv. He turned to me and gave me an innocent looking smile, I returned the smile, even though I had a creepy feeling about it. I brushed it off, but there was still a eerie feeling brewing in the back of my head. I tried to shake it off but this feeling wouldn’t go away.

(Random POV change I’m sorry! -w-)

Little did (y/n) know, when her beloved new Android turned around, it was to make sure she wasn’t paying attention. He was on the phone, telling his “boss” about their new master.

“Ah! You’re going to love her Boss! I’ll make sure she knows about you soon..that way she can always be ours..ours forever..” ———————————————————————

Thank you for reading! And here’s a little question for you guys~!

What Jojo character would you’d like an Android of?~

Mine is either Jotaro, Esidisi, or Johnny.

[jojogremlin-blog]

Ahhhh this is really well written! I spotted you on my main and knew I had to pop on before I headed to work to say something. I’m a sucker for androids, JoJo and yanderes so this was perfect!

I’d probably go for a Polnareff, Pt2Joseph, Okuyasu or Anasui android to be honest. 

[jojogremlin-blog]

hiii~ ♥ could you please write some headcannons about a relationship with caesar? anything would be appreciated ^^

I was actually going to make a joke about Caesar being crushed by a rock, but that was too hard on him, it might’ve crushed his dreams. I actually really like Caesar though so haha.

He loves to see you flustered or jealous, he thinks it’s adorable. He will tease you to heaven and back about anything, just to get a reaction.

So that means he’ll be very sweet to other people, close to flirting sweet, but never actual flirting.

Caesar is much too loyal to cheat on you, yes he was a playboy when he was single, but now that he is in an actual loving relationship with you he will do anything to protect it.

Now if you’re spending paying more attention to certain people or people are being really sweet to you, he gets very jealous and grumpy. He grits his teeth throughout the exchange and if you ask him what’s wrong he’ll say “nothing”. He’ll never let you know how jealous he is, but his face gives it away.

If you’re being flirted with he’ll walk up to you and the person then wrap his arm around your shoulder or waist, tell them you’re taken and walk off with you. You’ll probably get a mini rant about the gall of that person and go get ice cream.

Normal hugging (facing each other) isn’t really Caesar’s style, he prefers to hug you from behind and rest his head on your head, shoulder or your back (mostly if you’re taller). He loves being hugged from behind as well.

He specialises in almost every type of kiss, he personally loves to kiss your forehead, your hand and french kissing.

Caesar is ever the showoff, doing a large variety of hamon tricks to impress you. Seeing you in awe both boosts his already huge ego and makes him feel fuzzy inside. 

He enjoys giving the “classic” gifts, so bouquets of roses, chocolates and necklaces.

Dates are almost always very over the top romantic, he’ll arrange for your table booked at a nice restaurant to have candle mood lighting and the best spot available.

Taking walks can sometimes end up as dates too, but on walks he likes to talk about life in general, so walks can end up quite sad.

[yourfaveisyanderematic]

jojogremlin reblogged your post:

Relax and destress my dude, if you want to get the…

#i know like 3 things about yugioh#1 is you triggered my trap card#2 is that you can like fuse the cards to make stronger cards#3 is that the main character has the most stupid hair known to man#chitchat#yugioh mention#kakyoin#cso#it’s 3:19pm

Blonde you have NO IDEA how wrong you are if you think Yuugi’s hair is the stupidest of the bunch, lemme tell you.

Also wow I’ve now been confronted with the fact that I am a Gigantic Yugioh Nerd and remember a decent amount about decks and shit (not just from the anime, either!) and WOW I MIGHT BE A GIANT FUCKING NERD!  JUST LIKE KAKYOIN!  WHO IS A GAMER LOSER NERD!  I’ll see you in Court, if we’re going by the YGO-verse rules that means whoever wins the Duel™ is officially in the right and the not-gamer-loser-nerdest of them all, and I’m pretty confident about my chances against someone who knows more about Beyblade.

[jojogremlin-blog]

i guess the next entry into my cursed series will be a Yugioh battle of Kakyoin and you huh

[jojogremlin-blog]

Hey, Blonde!! It's Kes here, sorry I haven't checked up on you in a while! Everything good? Eating ya veggies? Writing horribly cursed content to scar the soul?

Veggies are yucky ew ew.

But yeah recently I’ve had constant nightshifts and I literally got sick the day after that one update but the good news is I have the weekend off (which means I’ll write all day Saturday and have Skyrim Sunday to platinum Skyrim), I’m now somewhat healthy and there’s some stuff I REALLY want to write. How are YOU though??

This isn’t related to the stuff I wanna write but I’m thinking Yugioh cards for the next not-Jotaro-Dadjo CSO entry, but who would play Yugioh?

[yourfaveisyanderematic]

*pulls gun* Blonde, eat your fucking veggies, your immune system needs them

I’m glad you’re getting a breather!  You sound like you really need one; don’t push yourself too hard!  Glad you’re getting some time to rim some skies, as the kids say, that’s greato.  I’m dying–partly from concentrated horny energy, mostly from stress–but I’m truckin along.

Kakyoin.  Look, we all know he’s a gamer nerd loser, but he ALSO likes collecting things, and Yugioh is like the best of both worlds!   And with Heirophant Green, Kak could probably do some bullshit with sock puppets for that Authentic Holographic Monster Feel

[jojogremlin-blog]

Relax and destress my dude, if you want to get the horny out as well write something that YOU want to write. For example, writing cursed things is really enjoyable for me, maybe you should try it. But Kes...

Gamer nerd loser?

As a fellow gamer of Kakyoin’s I’m extremely offended and I’m sending a strongly worded letter to the FBI. I’ll see you in horny tumblr court.

Unrelated but I know more about Bakugan and Beyblade than Yugioh because BEYBLADE BEYBLADE LET IT RIP

[jojogremlin-blog]

i think the random letters/numbers/symbols that keep appearing in asks are a new tumblr glitch, it seems like it's been happening a lot this week

ohh, that makes a lot of sense. I genuinely thought that it always existed and I only just noticed it, thank you for letting me know!!

[delmars-archived]

make yourself!!!

(i started a new post because i didn’t want to make the other one too long)

i was tagged by: @anxieteandbiscuits thank you so much dude i had so much fun! this is so cute omg

i’m tagging: @mrstarrk @natasharomanovs @parkersedith @ladythcr @ironarm @msmar-vell @ironmantrilogies @awstark @yelenabelovia @winston-wilson @and-the-wasp !!! if you guys want to! (and anybody else that wants to! this is super fun)

[yanderedarlings]

This is so cute! Y'all should make your own so I can see your lovely faces!

~Mod Ava~

[jadepillar18]

ok i had way too much fun with this but UWU

i’m tagging @hearteyes-candyskies and @weebsinstash if you would like to do this ^^

[hearteyes-candyskies]

thanks for the tag! fun fact; I actually have more piercings than this, if someone can guess how many piercings I have and what they are I’ll write you a one-shot of whatever you like lol. 

uhhh tagging @amusedyan and @yandere-love-love-love if you guys would like to do this and also anyone else who wants to do it! I love seeing these!

[amusedyan]

Tagged by @hearteyes-candyskies! Thanks babe!

Um, tagging @lightautumnsky and @veninos-posion

[veninos-posion]

Tagged by @amusedyan Yeeeeehaw Taggin’ @yourfaveisyanderematic @mercurymetals @ifollowfugo

[mercurymetals]

i tag @jojogremlin, @meltic-daze, @naranciabestboi and anyone else who feels like it!

[jojogremlin-blog]

Uhhhh I’m not that good with tags, so anyone who likes this style and stuff should try it out!

[jojogremlin-blog]

Wait what the hell was that? I said we’re not “r:shghoqrr”

Oh shit I just checked what you mean and I have no idea what happened to not r:shghorqrr. When I answered those asks they came out normal but apparently something went wrong.

I genuinely have no idea how to fix it, I’ll have to screenshot asks from now on.

[jojogremlin-blog]

I’m curious but Is that okay asking for your gender ??? ^^;

I’m perfectly fine with that! I’m an Australian female who has a very cute dog and hates cow breath (I literally vomit anytime I smell it, and I can barely smell sooo)

[jojogremlin-blog]

We’re just Eyying cause i have nothing to say! Small brain time bois

Technically it’s big brain time as we’re standing against society's norms of eyying for certain things. We’re rising to a new high of eyying whenever we want, so it is big brain time for our brethren.

[jojogremlin-blog]

Eyy

I don’t know what we’re eyying about but eyy

[belphiesreverie]

Hi! A little grey bird kindly informed that today is Fanfic Writer Appreciation Day! and so I wanna say you're GREAT and so is your work! I know you've been more less in a slump lately, and I wholeheartedly hope it gets better soon

Ahh thank you so much! I really appreciate it 💕

I think I’m slowly coming out of my slump and I’m getting more motivation to write again! I’ve been in a pretty rough patch both physically and mentally recently but talking to my friends has really helped get me back on my feet. I should be getting more stuff out soon so please look forward to it!!

And as it’s fanfic writer appreciation day, I would like to tell everyone that they are amazing at what they do!! All writers inspire me but I’d like to tag a few that are always motivating me to get better!

@bjnurse @dongiovannaswife @thewinterwaifu @rohans-wig @risottosrightdimple @just-another-jojo-account @mercurymetals @jojogremlin @lovindiavolo-hours @mista-and-birds @yourfaveisyanderematic @lovethemsopinku @abbacchiosbelt @shineonyoucrazyyandere @jojotrashmob @cuefunkymusic

[jojogremlin-blog]

I started squealing like a little girl when I saw this, I’m also inspired by you! Thank you!!

[jojogremlin-blog]

Hey, Blonde!! It's Kes here, sorry I haven't checked up on you in a while! Everything good? Eating ya veggies? Writing horribly cursed content to scar the soul?

Veggies are yucky ew ew.

But yeah recently I’ve had constant nightshifts and I literally got sick the day after that one update but the good news is I have the weekend off (which means I’ll write all day Saturday and have Skyrim Sunday to platinum Skyrim), I’m now somewhat healthy and there’s some stuff I REALLY want to write. How are YOU though??

This isn’t related to the stuff I wanna write but I’m thinking Yugioh cards for the next not-Jotaro-Dadjo CSO entry, but who would play Yugioh?

[jojogremlin-blog]

Oh really? @mercurymetals you’re practically telling me to make this an entire thing. That’s good though because I have a lot of leftover parts that never got into the final cut. 

Here’s a personal favourite (in headcannon form because I need the ability to  rewrite it)

It came to the point where if you did anything amazing or good, he’d clap. Did you defeat another stand user? He’s very proud of you and is clapping loudly. Wow! Nice pick! This restaurant is very good and he’s giving you a thumbs up while slurping his noodles.

Just writing that made me very happy, I love Jotaro Dadjo and the other Crusaders Cursedsaders.

By the way, I am better now so the production line of stuff should start up again sometime soon.

[jojogremlin-blog]

CSO: Jotaro Kujo

Yare yare daze, I’ve gotten really sick and can barely move anything. So I’ll post this masterpiece early.

This post is dedicated to @mercurymetals because this is 100% the real backstory as to why mercurymetals hates Stardust Crusaders and Jotaro Dadjo. 

Yare Yare Daze, Swearing Ahead

“Shut the fuck up and go to sleep,”

“Ok Dad,”

Just a simple joke you made last night, making fun of Jotaro’s quote on quote “care” for your well being. So how did it turn out that he started acting like a dad towards you. To be plain simple, it was incredibly embarrassing, the other crusaders started laughing at his fatherly behaviour and your spluttering self.

“Wow Jotaro, you’re such a caring father!” Jotaro only gave an affirmative grunt in response, which made it 10 times worse in your opinion. THE Jotaro Kujo, the man with a punch that can break through teeth as hard as diamonds, the man who literally saved your souls from D’Arby by bluffing his way to victory is also the man who’s agreeing with a frenchie called Polnareff about how he’s a great dad.

“What the fuck Polnareff! I thought we were friends how dare y-” your rant is rudely interrupted by a harsh smack to the back of the head, delivered by your newly found father Jotaro.

“Yare yare daze. If you swear again you’re grounded, got that?” Exasperated, you look to your great-grandfather Joseph for help, hoping he can stop your dad his grandson from unjustly grounding you. He provides no assistance, instead opting to snicker at your unfortunate predicament. Knowing that no one else could even hope to stop him, you decide to represent your own rights.

“Jotaro, we’re literally the same age and I already have a father-”  You’re once again, cut off by Jotaro.

“Yes, I’m already your father.” Not knowing if you’ve made the situation better or worse, you switch your tactics to using his own logic against him.

“Ok then, two can play it that game. If you’re my father, who’s my mother?”  You shoot your self proclaimed father a smug grin, how’s he supposed to answer that?

“Star Platinum.” He’d answered with such certainty that it genuinely felt true for a second. But even with that certainty, you’re not going to back down.

“But Star Platinum is a stand!”  You add a dramatic pose to assert your arguments dominance. No matter what he says, it won’t be valid because you’ve already shown dominance over the tall man. Except, he’s already planned a way to make his point absolute. He has the ultimate pose.

“Stand’s can have children too.” He’s done it. He’s T-Posed. 

“Im-impossible! That pose! It’s been hidden for years, how could you possibly know of it?!”

Haha

[jojogremlin-blog]

Jouta is a little gremlin

Are you saying that Jouta and I are related? I mean, we’re both gremlins

[jojogremlin-blog]

Angry Yandere Kakyoin

Me: Look brain! These two requests are almost done! Just a little more and they’ll be ready to go!

My stupid monkey brain: Angry yandere Kakyoin. I refuse to work on anything else, we’ll finish the requests after. And Belle? Before you ask, even though he’s a gentleman he’s very angry.

Kakyoin’s very thoughtful, assisting in any way possible while also making sure he isn’t coming off as a creep.

But he’s prone to incredible fits of anger, destroying anything in sight once he’s alone or when he’s near someone he “needs” to intimidate.

In his anger he’ll scream continuously with a colourful vocabulary and disturbingly vivid descriptions of what he’ll do, or he’ll express his thoughts. Either way, it’s not pretty.

In his blind rage, he is in fact blind to what he breaks. Anyone who walks in will be unconsciously ignored or become a victim to him and his anger. In these times he’ll never notice you though, so you’re safe. Kinda.

If Kakyoin was sent to the breaking point by a person, he’d break every bone in their body and more. The only times he’ll be pushed to this extent is when you’re involved. 

If you were unfortunate enough to witness one of these rare fits, you wouldn’t be hurt or anything of the sort, he’s actually too angry to even realise that you’re there. Once he’s calmed down enough and can fully understand that he is, in fact, not alone he’ll turn to you with deep regret.

“Oh sweetheart. I’m so, so sorry, I scared you didn’t I? Come here, I’ll make it up to you. We’ll go shopping tomorrow, I’ll buy you whatever you want!”

God forbid you made Kakyoin angry somehow, he doesn’t want to hurt you in any way and he almost never loses his cool when you mess up. 

So when you do anger him, he’ll “squeeze the life out of you”. ‘Squeezing the life out of you’ actually translates to him constricting (hugging) you until you pass out. You’ll then be safely tucked back into bed while he attempts to fully rid himself of anger, god knows what he does to calm down.