The thing is, its not all suffering. Despite having to lie, despite not being able to truly be with his soulmate, despite never being able to be all there, despite the constant looming fear of death, despite the pain, despite the despair—despite all that, there is happiness. Qifrey has happiness in his life, its right at his fingertips and he can brush up against it. He's a good person at his core and he's built a life around him that reflects that. He wants so badly to just be there, to keep this and truly be able to enjoy it. He loves his life and that's the point—thats what he's fighting so hard for.














