so basically this is some shawn angst type thing.
y/n is a singer/songwriter who takes it upon herself to take her empowerment back. shawn called her a nightmare after their twitter war and in true singer fashion, she made a song.
i used halseys nightmare because 1. it’s amazing and 2. it really fit well. i love halsey and it’s no copyright intended.
“so the next song is about...saying fuck you to a certain ex, and i’m sure you know what ex i’m talking about.”
the crowd cheered as you chugged down the rest of your water, your attire was becoming sticky with sweat.
“the final stage of a breakup is redirected hope, in other words empowerment. so when i wrote this song, it was me just accepting the things that had happened,” i said, “and me saying to myself, fuck all of them.”
you smiled as the intro started playing, “shawn called me a nightmare on twitter...and he is absolutely right. i want you to raise your middle finger to a person that you gave everything to and then they took advantage of you.”
10,000 fingers raised in the air as they started to sing along,
“i, i keep a record of the wreckage in my life,
i gotta recognise the weapon in my mind,
they talk shit but i love it every-time,
your and shawn’s breakup was messy to say the least. a cheating scandal that he denied even to this day, that had led a twitter war. he had called you a nightmare, which was true.
you were always a bit wild, a rebel, a rule breaker to say the least, which shawn has always said he loved about you. you weren’t controversial but you didn’t keep your mouth shut if you thought something was wrong. you then proceeded to be very sarcastic and take the piss out of him, releasing a bit of private information but nothing to seriously damage his career. sex life antics and arguments over texts.
in total you had been broken up for about 7 months and although you didn’t admit it, you missed him. the late night phone calls, sweet text messages and obviously the sex.
“i’ve tasted blood and it is sweet,
i’ve has the rug pulled beneath my feet,
i’ve trusted lies and i’ve trusted men,
broke down and put myself back together again,
stared in the mirror and punched it to shatters,
collected the pieces and picked out a dagger,
i’ve pinched my skin in between my two fingers,
and wished to cut some parts off with some scissors.”
the phones shone bright as you walked around the stage, videoing the experience that they would no doubt post and look back on in years to come. you would probably be married by then, live in some fancy house and have children. at one point you thought that would of all been with shawn, the person you wanted to grow old with. but now you will probably be quite lonely, when you feel ready to move on.
to be honest, you weren’t quite over the breakup. you were still in the stage of anger, every-time someone brought up his name you would clench my fist and jaw until the topic was over. you couldn’t listen to him on the radio and you couldn’t watch any videos of him. your friends where walking on eggshells around you, careful to say what bar they went to last saturday and who they went with. he always loved going out with his friends.
“come on little lady give us a smile,
no i ain’t got nothing to smile about,
i got no one to smile for,
i waited a while for a moment to say i don’t owe you a god damn thing!
i, i keep a record of the wreckage in my life,
i gotta recognise the weapon in my mind,
they talk shit but i love it every-time,
i’m no sweet dream but i’m a hell of a night,
that i’m no sweet dream boy i’m a hell of a night.”
you had texted briefly, nothing extensive. figuring out arrangements for stuff to be transferred over to your place, or asking if he was going out with your friends that night, which ultimately led to your decision of declining your friends offers to go to a bar. he had hurt you, sure enough you had probably hurt him too but he was the one that ended things over text.
a two and a half year relationship that he ended over TEXT. he didn’t even tell you face to face. he sent a long bullshit arse message which upset you even more when he was the one being accused of cheating. he apologised put he said he thought he was ‘holding you back’ and that it hurt to much ‘to tell you face to face’. if anything you couldn’t move on without him, you would be probably writing breakup songs forever now.
“no, i won't smile but i'll show you my teeth,
and i'ma let you speak if you just let me breathe,
i've been polite but won't be caught dead,
lettin' a man tell me what i should do in my bed,
keep my exes in check in my basement,
'cause kindness is weakness or worse you're complacent,
i could play nice or i could be a bully,
i'm tired and angry but somebody should be,
come on little lady give us a smile,
no i ain't got nothin' to smile about,
i got no one to smile for i waited a while for,
a moment to say i don't owe you a goddamn thing!
i, i keep a record of the wreckage of my life
I gotta recognize the weapon in my mind,
they talk shit but i love it every time,
i, i keep a record of the wreckage of my life,
i gotta recognize the weapon in my mind,
they talk shit but i love it every time,
the cheating new had broken on youtube, shawn was on tour at the the time and you were visiting your family in london. he was caught smuggling a girl into his hotel room arm around her shoulder. she then left the next morning in the same dress and his leather jacket. the one that he gave me when i was cold, or because he said i looked cute in it. it was our thing and he gave it away so easily, just pushed me to the side to make way for the next one to get into his pants.
when it had come out he called me straight away, telling me not to believe it and it was all fake. i believed him as i put more in our trust than the tabloids, there had to be an explanation for it, of all people not shawn. but then i got an instagram am from the girl that night, saying she was sorry but it was all true. she said they were sober and he said i could never find out about this. the look on his face when i showed him the messages, that said it all.
“someone like me can be a real nightmare completely aware,
but i’d rather be a real nightmare than die unaware,
someone like me can be a real nightmare completely aware,
but I'm glad to be a real nightmare so save me your prayers,
i, i keep a record of the wreckage of my life,
i gotta recognize the weapon in my mind,
they talk shit but i love it every time,
i, i keep a record of the wreckage of my life,
i gotta recognize the weapon in my mind,
they talk shit but i love it every time,
i’m no sweet dream but i'm a hell of a night,
that i'm no sweet dream but i'm a hell of a night...”
the crowd erupted with cheers and hollers as you fought back tears, this was hard for you. but then, you remembered.
he doesn’t love you anymore y/n. he cheated. you’re a nightmare to him, he hates you, he doesn’t care.
you smiled and said, “fuck shawn, right?”
