"where did my bacteria sample go?"

joshua !! he/him

[jossing-effusively]

hello!!

I'm a researcher at the notorious Magnus Institute in London. you can catch me here talking about my wild job or my adventures outside of it.

[crabdominalpain]

Space Squid | Creature Commission

[totallynotobsessedwithfandoms]

I think clone wars dark side anakin is my favorite dark side anakin. because yeah, in the movies, you can tell he's gonna fall. maybe not in the phantom menace, but in attack of the clones and revenge of the sith, it's so obvious! everything about him just oozes both light and dark, the dark steadily winning. but clone wars anakin? clone wars anakin? oh, he's a sun. he's blindingly bright and he's happy. we can go full episodes without a trace of the dark side showing up on his face or in his actions, which makes when he does go dark even more jarring. when he snaps and attacks and the imperial march plays faintly in the background, when not even ten minutes earlier in the episode he was joking around with ahsoka. that is peak dark side anakin to me, because that is what i imagine anakin truly was. happy and fun and then snapping, terrifying. it's why no one believed it when he fell. why obi-wan and padme and ahsoka didn't see it coming.

[the-enchanted-little-star]

[cuppydogshane]

podracer Sebulba notably absent from swift-kelce wedding attendees............

[eclecticopposition]

what is THE worst thing you've ever drank. all liquids acceptable. please tell me what it was, bonus points for why

[carby]

Hey whoa hi. Hello. I am looking directly into your ear canal. What do you mean you drank a tube of virus concentrate.

[whyamiherewhosummonedme]

So, I was working in a lab, right? My job in the lab was preparing a pure, concentrated enough sample of virus. This is tricky since, y'know, viruses require hosts to replicate, but you then need to get the host cells (and the pieces of the host cells that died!) out of the sample while still keeping the viruses. Once I'd finished and the samples had been sent to the database for analysis as well as a second one sent to be frozen for future reference, there was still some left over that needed to be disposed of.

I, knowing that this was a once in a lifetime opportunity, waited carefully for the lab director to be deep in conversation with someone else on the other side of the laboratory. And then I took my chance.

Test tubes, as it turns out, are really bad as shot glasses. Their shape turns any liquid inside into a stream, so you really can't knock it back quickly - it takes a couple seconds. Additionally, the best way I can describe the taste of virus concentrate was "sterile rot". A very unique kind of bad! Made worse by the test tube's inefficiency as a shot glass.

(by the way we were studying bacteriophages, not animal viruses. these viruses are too specialized on attacking prokaryotes to even recognize our cells as targets at all, according to studies.)

(but also like. if the viruses managed to successfully switch hosts and killed me with a violent infection, itd still be worth it.)

(for science.)

[violetthunderstorm]

You have a fitting blog title

[nico-the-overlord]

this post is getting 50k easy

[marlinspirkhall]

[no-highly-esteemed-deed]

@jossing-effusively

[jossing-effusively]

How did you know my lifelong dream of drinking a virus sample?

[teaboot]

I genuinely believe that the new SW trilogy wouldn’t have flopped out into irrelevance like it did if they hadn’t dumped Finn on the side of the freeway like a new pet rabbit the week after easter

[teaboot]

Anyway in my heart Finn became a Jedi alongside Rey and inspired a Stormtrooper insurrection and Kyle Ron went back to his mom like he should have day fucking one and that angry redhead dude blew up with the star destroyer and Poe got to make it happen and at the end Rey doesn’t give a shit who her bitch ass non-palpatine parents might have been because she gets her new family like she needed and palpatine stays dead at the bottom of his musty hole like he should have and Finn and Poe give each other approximately 130% the amount of lingering meaningful looks and then one of their run-together-to-reunite moments results in a heat-of-the-moment make out like it should have and Luke and Leia meet in person a minimum of once so she can sibling slap him at least once for being a useless dramatic old hermit for a billion years and tell him to get the Chanel boots back on and stop being a sad hobo and then for no reason at all there is an ewok style moon of Endor forest party at the end like God intended

[little-onion-heart]

[deadelated]

we all have the homie that's a cautionary tale

[deadelated]

had

[jossing-effusively]

My favorite international holiday!

[calicotisane]

I really like the phrase "a thing of bleach" from jeff the killer I don't know why I like it so much. A thing of bleach fell on him. It sounds almost like something I would write now. This is a helpful clue to the quality and character of my writing these days

[cosy-and-nosy]

please join me in mourning for Luke from Accounting. He went into the HR office with the pink haired devil some time ago and still hasn’t emerged.

[the-arlo-frey]

I should stay out of office drama...

...who is the pink haired devil

[cosy-and-nosy]

ok well I said I wouldn’t reveal any personal information but.

this asshole who is such a fucking creep and probably a sex offender- always wears suits but like he does it badly, and his hair is dyed this ugly shade of pink and it’s done really badly- and he works in fucking HR.

[the-arlo-frey]

Making a note to stay away from him...

[cosy-and-nosy]

Yeah. Do that

[luci-dow]

I think that guy. Pushed me off of a ladder.

[cosy-and-nosy]

what.

I am Going to make A Call-out Post on my Tumblr Dot Com about this Bitch

[jossing-effusively]

he licks people too. 🤮

shoutout to my buddy Chris for setting the pink haired devil on fire when we ran into him. i heard that his hair got messed up lmao