Bou’s Blog

Changed up the swag

[bouldersfervour]

got to find me a soul mate STAT

[parkerandloulou]

The Contest of Meaning | Kelia Anne MacCluskey | 2016

[aridante]

Diane, it’s 4:10 in the afternoon at the scene of the crime. Here’s something we haven’t seen before: a mound of dirt, approximately a foot and a half in diameter. On the top is a gold necklace with a gold heart—correction, half a gold heart. At the base of the mound of dirt is a torn piece of news print written with the words, which appear to be in blood: “fire walk with me.”   

TWIN PEAKS dir. David Lynch 1.01 – “Northwest Passage” (April 8th, 1990)

[bouldersfervour]

Feelings feelings feelings!

[bouldersfervour]

This was a complementary

[reaandull]

you may take my hand... but you'll never take my spirit, and my respiratory system!

[bouldersfervour]

And then the morning came.

Getting in. Getting up.

I’m currently listening to World’s End Girlfriend’s score for Air doll. I wanted to add the fifth track but it’s not on tumblr’s sound feature.

I wonder if anyone will notice the 3 fingered shadow Mack’s casting.

I can’t stop thinking about Nozomi casting a hollow shadow. Such a haunting visual.

Also, the wobbly font I used is ‘rainbow 2000 italic’. What a pretty font.

[junovaswriting]

Would yall be interested in a very tiny Smosh v Aliens Mackenzie-centered fic? We’re talkin under 1,000 words here cause that’s all I got. But I have ideas.

[junovaswriting]

An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works

Here she is! A little Mackenzie centered fic for anyone interested!

[anim-ttrpgs]

Exerpt from the Patreon-only September 5th Eureka: Investigative Urban Fantasy rulebook version! Art by team artist @chaospyromancy! If you want to get a less updated version of the rulebook for free right now, the August 1st version is on itch.io!

[bouldersfervour]

At a prior sleepover these two watched “The Pink Opaque” at Mary’s cause it’s on past Mackenzie’s bedtime

[spareham]

a collaborative drawing by helly & mark (the scar you share)

[bouldersfervour]

Kind of funny but only while drawing this I’ve figured that there’s a reason the robe was striped

[spareham]

Will you recognize the / iris of the body?

Severance x Big Thief

[vicholas]

I want more people to know that while the Palestine Olympic team consists of only 8 athletes, at least 69 Palestinian Olympic athletes have been killed since October 2023. This includes athletes who were going to compete in these games and retired athletes such as Majed Abu Maraheel, the first Palestinian Olympian, who died of kidney failure in a refugee camp product of lack of medical treatment.

Remember them during these games.

[thoughtfulchaos773]

Sorry, I'm obsessed again with that damn sauce.I may be reaching, BUT I'm going to connect this. Something I noticed throughout the season was Natalie knowing something, and it was from knowing things about Pete.

In 3x04, Natalie talks to Richie, who tells her the story about the zen garden his favorite director visited. She knows it's William Friedkin because Pete loves him.

And in 3x07, Natalie talks to Marcus, who tells her he was inspired by the violet, and she shares a fact that it's the illinois flower. It's such a random fact to know, but she knows it because Pete knows it.

It's about knowing and paying attention to all your partner's idiosyncronticites and what they love.

That's emotional intimacy.

And I'm sorry, but I'll never get over this shit- Carmy seriously observes Sydney. Although he drives her away- unconsciously he yearns for Syd- he has a desire to know who she is outside of work because he's at a point where he hates his career and passion but he finds himself having passion for her.

He notices her fixation on polka dots throughout the month, and he's probably curious if it's her favorite pattern.

Recap if you missed it:

@sadbanana-69 noticed her Polka Dot Dress to the funeral. Her obsession with that pattern had been developing over the course of a month, and I'm sure that even Carmy, despite his agitation, noticed that she was always wearing it. This fixation seemed to start in episode 3x03. It was almost subtle at first, but then it became so intense.

He takes in her love of Thome Browne, her bow and sailor moon outfit. She has a habit of wearing scrunchies. There's a pattern with Carmy and an unconscious desire to know Sydney, maybe?

I'm not saying anything really new here, but lastly, he ultimately wants to know the man who raised her, and his motivation for that may be because he thinks Sydney is the best thing and Emmanuel, who raised her has to be just as great.

I think one of the show's main lessons is about the people and knowing everything about someone because life feels so short. It's a gift to have those around you.

[brokenwinebox]

“Do you think we’re going to heaven?”

“What religion are we?” Then we cut to Sydney.

@moodyeucalyptus’s post on Claire being a bad doctor reminded me of the Faks in (3x09) wondering if they’d go to heaven while driving on the way to the hospital (to Claire). There’s also the fact that the writers wrote Claire to be a bad driver while Sydney was professional one (UPS).

We have @chefkids’s post on Our Mother of Victory being Sydney.

It continued in (3x09). Carmy is at his desk, sketching/drawing food. When he looks up, it cuts to Sydney in a car, holding food.

This is reminiscent of another episode (2x09) when Richie, Natalie, and Carmy pray before friends and family.

Carmy looks up and we cut to Sydney walking out of the kitchen, wearing her new chef whites (which was gifted to her by Carmy).

It’s interesting because they made a direct comparison/parallel between Sydney and Claire in the same episode (3x09).

We have a montage/visual collage where Carmy had inspiration in Copenhagen, sketching by the water. In the same episode/montage, Sydney was at Sheridan Road, by the water.

During these scenes, we find some sketches of the thoughtful chaos menu in between. This could be alluding to Carmy thinking of Sydney. (his inspiration, his muse, etc).

At the end of the episode, we have Carmy putting Mikey’s funeral card down next to what @thoughtfulchaos773 speculates is Claire’s scrunchie. We also have the scene when he goes back to the fridge, attempting to call Claire but ultimately failing. In that scene, Claire is resetting a broken arm. I’m still trying to figure out the meaning behind Claire wanting to understand a broken arm. I have a theory it’s about her trying to understand Carmy’s grief in some aspect. Although for Carmy, I think he was curious/wanting to know about Claire wanting to fix a broken arm because he wanted Claire to fix his grief perhaps.

It’s interesting that (present) Claire was in the hospital throughout this episode. This is when I had the idea that Carmy was thinking of Claire “fixing” a broken arm in the fridge because of Mikey. He wants his grief to go away. He wants his pain (traumas) to disappear. He could be thinking of Claire at the hospital in the fridge because he thinks of Mikey in the morgue. Especially since he put Mikey’s funeral card right next to Claire’s scrunchie. In the very first episode, we have an image of Mikey in the morgue. Carmy had picked up his knife before looking at the same funeral card. He put Mikey next to Claire (who constantly reminds him of the past).

I had discussed, in my dissertation of Claire, that Carmy could be dating her because Mikey is more alive or felt. Maybe he was trying to avoid Mikey's presence this season. The same way he's been avoiding Claire.

Thank you to @espumado’s post and @vacationship’s add on!

[brokenwinebox]

Mikey Told Claire About The Bear?

This meta is reflecting on one of my theories on Mikey telling Claire about The Bear instead of Carmy. My meta on Claire’s character called, “Claire: Ominous or Naive?” is going to be a large foundation for this. It’s not necessary, but if you’ll like the full context please read in order:

Claire and Marcus: Pushing

Carmy And Claire: Frozen In Time

Claire: Ominous Or Naive?

Carmy & Claire: Guilt

↓ text / major spoilers for s3 below

I had a theory that Mikey was the one that told Claire about The Bear. As I said above, my previous meta will be the base for this. All of my previous thoughts from my other meta will be in italics except the dialogue.

Before we get into it, @espumado has a post on Carmy’s tattoos timeline. Feel free to check that out to see what I’m working with. If you think I’m being inaccurate in any way, please let me know! I want to get this all correct to solve this. I’d really appreciate it!

French Laundry - Approx. 8 years ago

Ever Restaurant - Approx. 7 years ago

Noma - Approx. 6 years ago

Christmas - Approx. 5 years ago

Daniel Restaurant - Approx. 4 years ago

Chef David NY - Approx. 1 year ago

Reunion By Grocery Store Fridges

claire: “why what are you doing?” carmy: “opening a restaurant.” claire: “you’re doing the thing.” carmy: “trying to, yeah.” claire: “still, i love the name.”

this is when we find out that claire knows the name of the restaurant. this was always strange dialogue to me because wasn’t carmy shy? why would he talk about something that personal? and with a crush, no less.

this is when i started messing with the idea that it wasn't carmy who told her. what if mikey told her?

here’s what @fresaton said in the reblogs:

He did it!! Mikey didn't know the name of the restaurant until Carmy started working and had lost contact with Claire. There's no way Claire knows and Mikey doesn't.

carmy: “how could you remember the name?” claire: “because you’re the bear, and i remember you.”

what if this is when carmy senses the lie or something off behind her words? what if he knew he wasn’t really being seen at all? maybe he senses that claire wasn’t really talking to him. (mikey? his high school presence?)

i can’t get over his reaction to that line either. you would expect it to be this happy expression but it wasn’t. carmy looked lost, almost dissociated.

When I first looked back on those scenes, I got extremely confused. The timeline had already felt off but this is nagging at my brain.

I had speculated that Mikey told Claire about The Bear and even the sketches of her with his cooking endeavors. But did it just get confirmed? This scene had to have happened before Christmas. When did Carmy tell her anything about The Bear?

I was doing research with @espumado’s post on Carmy’s tattoos timeline, and Christmas happened approximately five years ago. Then I looked at (3x06).

Tina was basically a stranger and he was already sharing parts of Carmy’s endeavors. Would it be farfetched he would say more to a family friend?

If I’m doing this correctly, then this had to have happened when he was at Noma which was approximately six years ago.

Then I realized something. Let’s go back to the Fishes episode. (Claire and Carmy’s relationship always seems to go back to fishes.)

The Mention: Fishes

I did a bit of deep dive on Reddit (the hellscape) and I saw a post talking about it a year ago. Before this season aired, people wanted to know the timeline as well. The post had updates after season three aired. People have speculated that Napa happened before the French Laundry and Ever.

In the scene between Mikey and Carmy in the season three finale, Mikey mentions Napa.

Mikey: “Just because you’ve been to fucking Napa, doesn’t make this a not fucked business, you know?” (3x10)

So, based on that, they had that discussion approximately eight to nine years ago. So, when would Carmy have the time to tell her?

Claire said she has six months left of residency in season two. From what I understand, residency is about three to seven years. But residency for emergency medicine is three to four years. (From what I looked up)

Mikey said she was in med school during Christmas. But she went to med school in New York.

claire: “i went to med school in new york so i never drove. so, i try to make up for it. the times i’m not working.” (2x05)

That means she was probably there very briefly before going back to New York.

Keep in mind, Claire told him that information like he didn’t know. (Who gave him the information about med school in the first place? Mikey.)

In (2x02),

Carmy: “No, I don’t think we even…We didn’t even tell anybody what the name was.” Claire: “You one hundred perfect told me the name.” Carmy: “How could you remember the name?”

The question that Carmy should have asked is how she even knew it in the first place?

Notice he said he doesn’t think THEY (Carmy and Mikey) told anyone?

he even said in the s1 finale, carmy realized he doesn’t really know anything about mikey. you could even argue that mikey isn’t that explicitly defined to carmy, similar to claire. he could have even projected a closeness to mikey to make himself feel less alone. he could be doing same projections with claire.

Carmy literally said in the s1 finale, he realized he didn’t even know anything about him. Why would Carmy be that confident in a person he admitted to not knowing? Was it disbelief?

Let’s go back to the Fishes episode.

mikey: “it’s done.” carmy: “who asked you to do that though? that’s what i’m saying.” mikey: “it’s a christmas gift. i fucking put in a good word. i told her about napa about copen, she ate that shit up.” carmy: “nobody asked you to do that.”

So, she didn’t know about Napa or Noma until Mikey told her. If Napa happened before-hand then The French Laundry and Ever definitely would have been the stuff Mikey talked about in between. She was also in New York in med school so the gap between Christmas and Daniel isn’t really a possibility. The only moment they have is literally Christmas night. They also happen to have a scene together.

Did it happen then? But Carmy acted like it’s something he would have told her years ago instead of five years ago. But when on the timeline does it make sense here? So, he potentially told her the same night that Mikey and Donna lose it? Then completely forgot about it?

She knows about The Bear but Carmy doesn’t even know where she’s going to med school?

They were never close. Mikey had to tell her about Napa and Noma (and whatever else in between) to help her catch up on what he was doing. Claire mentions in the car that they “hung out but never actually talked.”

claire: “we’ve hung out, like, so much but we’ve never actually talked.” carmy: “yeah, yeah i know what you mean.”

it’s strange to think that they’ve hung out a lot but never said anything to the other. especially when you with think on carmy, who was shy, talking about a dream he has with his brother? that’s a pretty personal thing to share with someone if they never talk. something strange is going on there, i just don’t know what it is quite yet.

it gets a little stranger with claire mentioning that she sat behind him in algebra class in freshman year. carmy doesn’t seem to remember that, like he’s completely disconnected/dissociated from her entirely. why is claire remembering all of these things but carmy isn’t? why is she doing all the pushing/driving?

what if she knew about the drawings too? is this another thing mikey mentioned to her? maybe she was trying to slowly ooze it out of him. only to end up disappointed that carmy doesn’t bother to mention it. basically erasing its potential importance to the relationship entirely.

He’s completely disconnected to her. They’ve hung out but don’t talk. They don’t talk but she knows about The Bear?

carmy: “i wish you talked to me more.” claire: “i tried. you’re really shy.”

In season three, we have nothing but constant dialogue from her. He barely talked in their scenes.

She tried but couldn’t get the result she wanted. Did she go to Mikey to get that information then? Did she try at Christmas and ultimately couldn’t since his mother literally drove a car into their house? We’re well aware of her lack of boundaries towards this relationship. So, after hearing his endeavors, she knew where to get the information she wants?

He wished she talked to him more? Or he wishes he cared enough to listen? She said she tried, but it seems like he wouldn’t really respond at all. Almost like some of the scenes they had in season three.

I have a theory that he’s still been disassociating during his scenes with Claire. It would explain how they constantly get interrupted by him or Sydney (when she’s with him physically). I haven’t gone further into this theory quite yet in a separate meta but I’ll leave it here.

Though, Carmy barely talks during his scenes, I’m supposed to believe that Carmy talked about something very personal with her?

Mikey could talk to Tina very easily about parts of Carmy’s endeavors. Mikey told Carmy about med school before Claire talked to him about it during Christmas (to which Claire mentions where that med school was located in the present.)

Was he possessed? By Logan Fernello? Kidding. Unless…?

Claire couldn’t have known before Mikey.

This is technically part one in my series of metas I’ve been writing.

Thank you so much to anyone who read this!

[moodyeucalyptus]

Nice!! I absolutely never believed Claire when she said Carmy told her the name was The Bear. He looked so confused, I just believed him immediately.

Plus, I didn't know her from adam so I was like, eh...? Then when Carm gave her the fake number, that was red flag #1. My thought had been that she was lying, in order to foster a fake sense of connection and closeness with him. It's part of that sleight of hand we only were actually told about this season. But back during s2, I wondered if Fak told her when she got Carm's real number. By that point they were well into the build, so that would make sense if Fak just told her. She could've easily said that was the case.

It actually would even make sense if she just shared that Mikey told her back before that Christmas, but the fact she specifically made Carmy think he told her... that is SO strange. WHY would she do that? Other than to deceive him for some weird gaslighty way. Like: we were close! I swear! You told me this private thing, see?

She's a creep. If Mikey did tell her himself, hiding that is deepy weird and ominous to me, ya know? Why do you think she did it?

[brokenwinebox]

Everytime I think of the Faks potentially doing it, I immediately think: “Wouldn’t we know that to some degree?”

The Faks talk so much, they quite literally have no filter. So, did they say something that we missed? I automatically want to say no to that idea. But that’s because I’m getting extremely tired of thinking about them lmao.

Claire saying that Carmy was the one who told her even though it wasn’t is so fucking creepy. I’d be horrified. I always try to take a neutral approach with Claire as a character in my metas, attempting to just use the information that I see or was given. But if there’s a huge reveal that Claire lied, I legitimately can’t take a neutral stance. That’s beyond my niceness can go, honestly.

The question you asked: Why do you think she did it? Is so complicated for me to answer. Why push to get his phone number when it’s clear he didn’t want her to have it? What’s this girl’s motivation?

She asked to make sure Carmy wanted her to have his number to which he agreed on the phone, but at the party, she asked him again, completely sure that he gave her a fake number. If she genuinely thought Carmy made a mistake, why would she bring it back up again?

Look at the phone call scene (2x03) and then go to the house party scene when they were in the kitchen in (2x05). You’ll see what I’m talking about! Or just go to my meta, “Claire: Ominous Or Naive?” It’s sectioned so it should be easy to find it on there!

So, she pursued him anyway despite the signs being there that he’s not interested…Why? It doesn’t make sense. What’s the motivation here? What does she get out of it?

I went back to Fishes and here’s what I found:

After the The Bear sketch scene, where does he go?

Who also has an outside moment at Christmas night?

Is this alluding to something here?

Wherever Mikey went, Richie saw it and could know where it was.

[moodyeucalyptus]

Mm mm mm! So many very strange details that must lead somewhere!

I don’t think it’s out of order to look at her sideways as a character, there are a lot of weird details with this lady for Sure. I’ve made my mind up at this point, but respect to you for trying to stay unbiased! Ha. I definitely noticed how Carmy reacted to her & how she behaved around digging at him about the fake number. I remember talking to people back then…

…about how once we found out she was more interested in understanding her friend’s broken arm, than fixing it, we pegged her as definitely more interested in poking around in Carmy’s psyche, than being truly interested in him as a romantic partner.

I do agree with you too that Carmy probably clocked something was off and continued to be off the whole time they were together, so he just checked out mentally most of the time he was with her.

If Claire did speak to Mikey that Christmas, do you think Richie knows? Though, it just occurred to me that even if Richie knew Mikey might’ve talked to Claire then, there’s still no reason for Richie to think anything fishy might be going on at all.

That’s a legerdemain! The fact that we know Claire twisted what Carmy said in the freezer to be slightly more favorable to her, than what he actually said - but we’re the only ones who know that to be the case. Carmy doesn’t know Claire told that to Tiff. Richie didn’t hear what Carmy said, so he can’t refute it. It seems so minor, but is a small example of Social Engineering really.

So if Mikey shared the name of the restaurant, but Claire used that to gaslight Carmy into thinking he told her himself as a way to fake closeness, it certainly wouldn’t be the first time that she used a seemingly small detail to twist things in her favor! We know for a fact she’s done it before.

She also did that with the story about nearly killing a girl too & the allergy. So we actually have 2 examples that we definitely know of.

Welp.

[currymanganese-deactivated20241]

@vacationship @devisrina I know you guys love Claire as much as I do so you should see this is you haven't already! 👀😭