Puros Corajes @jotitachula - Tumblr Blog

WoW. Update.

Ok so. I made this account when i was like.. 22 I believe. Last time i was on here I was 24 looks like. Today I am 27 years old. I initially made this to get rid of my old account back then because I was goin through a lot of changes and wanted to start fresh and brand new. I also wanted a place to vent because I was feeling so lonely. My sister had just moved away, I was workin’ crappy jobs and feeling like nothing was ever gonna go my way.

I ended up unexpectedly getting a job that I like and now I’m back in school finally getting to do what I’ve been saving up for :) 22 yo me would be very proud. That poor girl was so lost and had such disorganized thought. I can’t say that’s completely gone away but I definitely see myself handling life with much more grace and learning to believe in myself. Rn I am working on learning to trust my gut, be more gentle, and have less flexible boundaries. We still workin’ on it.

I originally made this account as an online diary/archive as I made it a point to keep a journal at the time. It was the best way to help my poor brain process anything. Now I am actually on meds that work, I feel good. I feel better. I hope if some other 22 year old comes across this and is feeling lost and utterly in despair (┬┬﹏┬┬) they can gain some comfort knowing each day is worth living for a better future.

This is not to say life becomes completely perfect but I guess life starts to feel less scary when you embrace your surroundings instead of running and when you show gratitude to the people and things that serve you at least once per day.

I feel like I have so much on my mind at this moment. But I just keep rambling n can’t put it into words.

Well I guess i am back. Hello. Goodbye. (●'◡'●)

#growing pains #Journal Entry #journaling #growing up #life in your 20s

[3 27 ‘20] For the past few years I’ve been trying to give something up for lent when Easter season comes around. It’s been years that I no longer identify as catholic & have embraced my agnosticism but seeing as how my family is catholic, I like to keep with some of the traditions.

This year was sort of difficult as I’ve been struggling with my physical health & feeling very helpless. Through all of it I’ve realized what I’m giving up is my independence & (consequentially) part of my stubbornness. For the longest time I refused help from anyone & was so determined to make it through life on my own. Multiple times I found myself saying that I don’t “need” this person or that, I will find another route. I’ve had to sacrifice my pride in these few weeks & learned that it’s okay to lean on others. There is nothing wrong with allowing others to love you or for them to show you they care. What I found ridiculous is that I realized I’m constantly sacrificing my needs to help others & yet I refused to accept their hand to return the aid I gave. In letting my ego be chipped away I’m finding more strength through vulnerability. My circumstances may be misfortunate at the time but in the long run I feel I will benefit & change for the better. As cliché as it sounds, there is always a silver lining.

#lentenseason #lent #agnostic #catholic

tordenvejr

vulnerability is clumsy but it’s the only thing worth anything

1 4 ‘19. 4:15 PM.

I really need to stop getting with people who get me hooked on sweetness + ice me out whenever it’s convenient.

I don’t know why I let them in + so naivishly believe these false promises. I don’t want to be mistrusting but it gets so hard sometimes when it feels I’m constantly being let down. I rack my brain + drive myself crazy wondering what I could’ve done differently but the truth is my actions wouldn’t matter much. This is who these people are at their core. Inconsiderate + self serving. Flakey. Inconsistent. Cowardly. Yet I give myself up knowing all these things, so what does that make me besides an idiot?

#journaling #journal entry #love #romance #heartbreak

I am so upset and let down but I just really don’t wanna cry or fight anymore..

#1 3 ‘20

Snuck out my window last night to let you steal me away just so you could hold my hands + kiss them in the dark

#12 25 19 #love #romance #journaling

There are very rare times I miss my Xanax prescription and honestly this is one of them

I hated that they made me feel like a zombie but I’m really trynna eliminate my emotions rn

#11 20 19

leahberman

textsfromtheborderline

jadorexjaii

Oh okay

amynchan

It’s… in words…

11:26 pm

A lot of weird telecommunication stuff has been happening. First that message & then those weird calls.

Talked to other people who have also received odd messages from people they hadn’t heard from in a long time. Hmm. Somethings in the air.

It feels like something very similar happened exactly a year ago . Hmmm

#07/30/19

3:32 am

Well that was weird but ok

#7-27-19

It’s ok to visit and re-visit but try not to dwell. I cannot keep you from your past nor would I want to. After all, these collective experiences are what created you: this beautiful being standing before me. I just wish I could be more secure and I wish you would stop reminding me of how much you wish I were her.

#passing thoughts #9-9-19

damn i just typed a whole ass post and idk what buttons I accidentally touched that just completely DELETED EVERYTHING ON THE WHOLE POST!!!!

THE POINT I WAS TRYING TO MAKE WAS THAT: 2017 me would be so proud and shocked at the progress 2019 me has made. Hooray for us! We’ve made it this far and things are only looking up! We no longer worry about poor health or financial security. Good job, kid!

Girl nah, I’m not gonna even acknowledge that shit! Your problems are not mine to take on

#7-2-19

Been crying like a baby all day & I have maybe an idea but not exactly sure why

Think I’m still hung up & I really don’t wanna be

#6-25-19