I've been doing a lot of thinking tonight. I've been thinking about why I left and why it all had to end. I think I realized that we were never meant to be anything more than just friends. To be honest, I don't even know if friend is correct term anymore. But nevertheless, you were put into my life for a reason. You picked me up Sofia. You picked me back up and taught me the fundamental meaning of what life is, and how there is always beauty in everything that is negative. It is, what we make of it. It is how we choose to to act upon it. Whether it may be doing good, or wreaking havoc in not only our own lives, but in others that you hold closest to you, we always have a choice to change. And you Sofia, have certainly changed me. It was as if you held my hand and understood all the pain, grief, and misery I stored within myself for all these years and you replaced it with meaning. With answers to each every single one of them.
I realize that this was your purpose. You taught me the meaning of being a friend when someone else was lonely. When everyone else failed to get through me it was you who took it upon yourself and stripped away every amour I had against the world and you told me that it was going to be alright. Now I know why there was a ending point between the both of us. You were only in my life to teach, as I was a student as you were the teacher. My vice was that I became too consumed. I was out of focus because I was too mesmerized by your philosophy on life and ultimately, I let my emotions get in the way only because I felt a sense of belonging with you. It was more than that, it was a sense of clarity, peacefulness. I was finally happy, alright? You made me really happy and appreciative of all the things that life had to offer. But mostly importantly you made me a happy person because you taught me how to smile. You taught me love and I only wanted to show you love in return.
I wanted to show you love much so because as you've taught me so, I had learned so much about you in so little time. From your full name, to your deepest darkest secrets. To whatever makes you stay up at night wishing that everything was going to be alright after all the trauma you've been through. We were the same Sofia. We were two very misguided souls that happened to find each other to teach one another. We carried each other all the way to the top each and every single day we spent conversing with each other. It was you all along and it had always been you Sofia. I loved you so so much and because of that I just felt so paranoid that you'd fall harder than you ever did someday. I just wanted to protect you from the negatives things that you've fighting against for so long. I wanted to become your comrade, your most trusted ally, and most importantly, your friend.
But none of that matters anymore because no matter whats; whether all the images we have in our head being a friend with each other rewinds back in time, it was all thrown away. You had done your job. You had fulfilled your obligation long ago but you did not leave me as I fully understand that you were suppose to. Instead, you stayed in my life. You stayed all along. Now, I don't know you did that but you did. Maybe it was the fact that I asked you to stay and or, maybe it was my doing that caused you to stay.
But you don't owe me anything, anymore. You've taught me everything you knew. You have given me everything. Everything I needed to stand on my two feet again to face reality.
dailybridgerton
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