No matter how bad my day was, I know Sirius never remembered what date it was. How many days, and often he’d forgotten who he was. There’s one name he’d refused himself in forgetting. Sirius never carved into the walls, not with anything memorable. Instead he’d mark himself, with what he could. Leaving scars that blackened and with a reserve of his magic stayed. ‘Tattoos’ but they were not so traditional. Between his animal form, his lack of magical prowess and a sickening grief crawling up his throat he had a severe absence of language. What he could remember were runes, and they burned into his skin like a brand. Their meaning protected him, perhaps it was a placebo…But perhaps it kept the part of his mind he most valued in tact. They were not at all times visible, but the emblem of antlers caressed his waist. The pain of the reminder was comforting, he would not deny it, once he saw the shape these inky indents took. The name, not always in letters, appeared on the soles of his feet, the back of his nape, the inside of his thigh. Sometimes he swore he could feel the tingle of J-A-M-E-S on his scalp. Sirius was never quite as amused by magic as his muggle born or even half-blooded peers. This. This amazed him, the closest thing to wonder he felt in that damp, cobblestoned hellscape. The memories of his soul, of James, loud and bright in his mind at the darkest time of his life. A small respite, a reward for his troubles. His vibrant memories of James, when freed from the grasp of Azkaban, dulled considerably while other memories came back. His mind is balancing itself out. Oh, Sirius did not too much appreciate this at all. He felt another piece of himself slipping away, placed in another prison. Something had called him to the ministry. It felt like that same soothing touch that stung his memories into his skin.Sirius Black knew he was dying before he fell. In those last thirty seconds before his cousin blew a curse his way his mind was suddenly filled. Bright smiles, mischief in hazel eyes, a soft, happy voice. He smiled, he wasn’t aware of it.
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