The Successful Friend Syndrome & Privilege
I was lucky enough to go to a private international high school, which changed my life and lead me to a life where I see everything differently. Being able to go to this school meant being able to go to a great university, have great connections and just know a lot of very talented people who have the resources and means to pursue their talents at the highest level. In simple terms, I’m blessed to have a lot of talented and successful friends - however you want define the term “successful”. People from my high school have gone on to pursue higher education at Ivy League universities, fellowships at the most noble organizations and jobs at the most popular institutions in the world.
I tried to follow the path. When I was a freshman in High School I saw everyone around me speak about the Model UN conferences they were traveling to, the businesses they wanted to start and the clubs they wanted to be presidents of. I followed suits. I joined Model UN, I gained older “successful” mentors whose paths I followed, almost religiously, to this day. No matter what successes came my way, I still felt not enough. When I became Head of the Press Team at my MUN conference, a goal I once dreamed to have, I felt inadequate since I wasn’t able to travel to a certain conference like my mentor. When I was able to travel to a larger conference, I felt inadequate for not having as in-depth experience as my peers there. When I reached a leadership position at said conference, I felt short for not being able to be Secretary General. And it goes on, and on, and on. I feel short for not graduating with honors, short for not having a successful business (at 19 years old?), short for not having 50 MUN conferences under my belt, short, short, short.
Then I look at my Resume and realize how much I’ve been blessed with. How much work I was able to do. Theeen, I go to LinkedIn and stalk a bunch of friends with more in-depth experience and feel short again. The comparison will never get me anywhere. Short, short, short.
After comparing myself to the kid from the international school down the street or the private school across the Atlantic ocean I realize the bubble I live in. As talented as we could be, and as hard-working as we could be, we were blessed with a ridiculous amount of resources to allow us to do everything we did.
When we reach a place where we’re able to go to an international private school whose sole purpose is to educate you at the highest level possible and all you care about is whether you got a 43 or 44 on your IB score like it’s a life-changing result, that’s an issue. And when it’s are you a president or chair at your MUN conference? Oh no, I’m a chair, I’m a loser. That’s also an issue.
We are privileged people. The amount of privilege we have is not okay. So, yes, your talent matters, and yes your hard-work matters even more and what you do matters. But only if you make it something that matters to others, and stop focusing on the little things that make no difference in the grand scheme.