23.03.18 // 14:21
I saw this postcard while out in paperchase a wild ago, and it made me giggle đŒ
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đȘŒ
trying on a metaphor
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@joytozworld
23.03.18 // 14:21
I saw this postcard while out in paperchase a wild ago, and it made me giggle đŒ
I just made a meme that is so incredibly specific
TGP + B99
Chidi, just pick! Donât pressure me, Uzo! I have to consider all the factors: athletic strategy, the fragile egos of my classmates, and gender politics!
what if the cockroaches just had performance anxiety smfh theyâre just trying their best ok
People without glasses are really out here seeing for free
Oh my god I really do have to pay to see what the fuck
Imagine Guy Fieri as Gatsby, and calling you âPulled Porkâ instead of âOld Sport.â
So we beat on, boats against the current, borne on ceaselessly into Flavortown
shibsibs + childhood footage
Why is this me after finals đ
Norway's Olympic team ended up with 15,000 eggs -- 13,500 more than expected -- because of a translation error that was made in the order.
The chefs for Norwayâs Olympic team ordered 1,500 eggs.
What they got was 15,000 eggs.
With Norway boasting a team of 109 competitors, the teamâs chefs placed a bulk order for eggs from a local store. The order was apparently lost in translation, however, and they received a bumper batch â some 13,500 more than expected.
âThere was literally no end to the delivery,â chef Stale Johansen said. âAbsolutely unbelievable.â
The chefs have since been allowed to return their excess produce, with Aftenposten attributing the original mistake to a mix up with Googleâs translation tool.
Although the excess eggs have been sent back, the Norway team can still expect plenty of egg-based dishes.
âThere will be omelets, boiled and fried eggs and smoked salmon with scrambled eggs,â Johansen told Aftenposten. âAnd we hope there will be a lot of sugar bread made for medal winners. We have made our provisions for that.â
story time.
the look in your eyes is what gets me.
âso i return to my body.. from the other plane of existence.. in which i screamâ
DEAD
âStory time.
I have this one white friend.
And - [mocking] I have this one white friend, Iâm not racist. And like - where was I even going with this? [laughs] Sheâs not even my friend, sheâs just someone I know. Okay, whatever, âkay, so this one white person that I know - [under breath] (I know a lot, my entire town is white.) Anyway, um, one day, she comes up to me, and sheâs like,
âJenny, what are you?â and, you know, thatâs like white person talk for like, [sarcastic mocking] âwhat FUCKING country do you come from? Like obviously youâre not from here.â And Iâm like, âum, Iâm Chinese.â
And sheâs like âWhat? Youâre Chinese?â
And Iâm like, âYeah, I donât know why thatâs so much of a surprise.â
And sheâs like âWell, I thought you said you were Asian.â
And - [deep breath] [pause] there was a moment, a good minute and a half, where I left my body and ascended onto another plane, and I screamed into the abyss of that plane [pause] because she did not know that Asian and Chinese are⊠I, I canât, I canât, I canât even⊠you know, whatever.
So, return to my body, from the [pause] other plane of existence in which I scream. A lot. And I tell her: âYou know, China, China, you see, the country that Iâm from, is a part of Asia.â
And sheâs like, âWhereâs Asia?â
[whispers] She asked me. Where Asia is.
And I say, âWell, Asia consists of, you know..â and I list the different Asian countries and sheâs like âWhaat?â
And Iâm like [sarcastically] itâs, itâs this thing, you know, that you learn about in like third grade geography. Itâs a continent! And sheâs like âA continent?â
And Iâm like âYes.â
And she goes, âso itâs not a country?â
Iâm like, âNo.â
And sheâs like âWhatâs the difference?â
And Iâm like [deep breath] âAmerica, you see, has like North, Central, South, so like, take somewhere from Canada; they are North American but theyâre also CanadianâŠâ
And sheâs like âI donât understand.â
And Iâm like âItâs okay, just know that I am both Asian AND Chineseâ and you know what, she is still confused to this day, and I [pause] am still on the other plane of existence, screaming, as I tell this story to you. So you can come join me, on the separate plane of existence.â
I WILL ALWAYS REBLOG THIS SHIT BECAUSE IT IS TOO REAL, TOO TRUE.
Iâm actually crying
God I just shared this video with Dad the other night and we kept giggling about it afterwards.
What makes this really funny is that water is free in Scotland, so buying bottled water there really is considered a complete joke