huh¿

charcoal smudges on bruised fingertips.

[anothernerdstudies]

23.03.18 // 14:21

I saw this postcard while out in paperchase a wild ago, and it made me giggle 🎼

[poetrylesbian]

I just made a meme that is so incredibly specific

[poetrylesbian]

[poetrylesbian]

[hafael-archive]

TGP + B99

[tgpgifs]

Chidi, just pick! Don’t pressure me, Uzo! I have to consider all the factors: athletic strategy, the fragile egos of my classmates, and gender politics!

[joytozworld]

what if the cockroaches just had performance anxiety smfh they’re just trying their best ok

[just-shower-thoughts]

People without glasses are really out here seeing for free

[maplesugacookie]

Oh my god I really do have to pay to see what the fuck

[nocontextgoodplace]

[imagineguyfieri]

Imagine Guy Fieri as Gatsby, and calling you “Pulled Pork” instead of “Old Sport.”

[sister-stress-deactivated202311]

So we beat on, boats against the current, borne on ceaselessly into Flavortown

[yonkaitens]

shibsibs + childhood footage

[laughordie]

Why is this me after finals 😂

[kramaric]

[neonfrenzy]

[tommylindholm]

Translation scramble: Norway gets 15K eggs

Norway's Olympic team ended up with 15,000 eggs -- 13,500 more than expected -- because of a translation error that was made in the order.

The chefs for Norway’s Olympic team ordered 1,500 eggs.

What they got was 15,000 eggs.

With Norway boasting a team of 109 competitors, the team’s chefs placed a bulk order for eggs from a local store. The order was apparently lost in translation, however, and they received a bumper batch – some 13,500 more than expected.

“There was literally no end to the delivery,” chef Stale Johansen said. “Absolutely unbelievable.”

The chefs have since been allowed to return their excess produce, with Aftenposten attributing the original mistake to a mix up with Google’s translation tool.

Although the excess eggs have been sent back, the Norway team can still expect plenty of egg-based dishes.

“There will be omelets, boiled and fried eggs and smoked salmon with scrambled eggs,” Johansen told Aftenposten. “And we hope there will be a lot of sugar bread made for medal winners. We have made our provisions for that.”

[omnybus]

[mustardtigress]

[civilwhore]

[mitski-miyawakis]

story time.

[beyondplusultra]

the look in your eyes is what gets me.

[updatepls-deactivated20180722]

“so i return to my body.. from the other plane of existence.. in which i scream”

DEAD

[localgays2]

“Story time.

I have this one white friend.

And - [mocking] I have this one white friend, I’m not racist. And like - where was I even going with this? [laughs] She’s not even my friend, she’s just someone I know. Okay, whatever, ‘kay, so this one white person that I know - [under breath] (I know a lot, my entire town is white.) Anyway, um, one day, she comes up to me, and she’s like,

“Jenny, what are you?” and, you know, that’s like white person talk for like, [sarcastic mocking] “what FUCKING country do you come from? Like obviously you’re not from here.”  And I’m like, “um, I’m Chinese.”

And she’s like “What? You’re Chinese?”

And I’m like, “Yeah, I don’t know why that’s so much of a surprise.”

And she’s like “Well, I thought you said you were Asian.”

And - [deep breath] [pause] there was a moment, a good minute and a half, where I left my body and ascended onto another plane, and I screamed into the abyss of that plane [pause] because she did not know that Asian and Chinese are… I, I can’t, I can’t, I can’t even… you know, whatever.

So, return to my body, from the [pause] other plane of existence in which I scream. A lot. And I tell her: “You know, China, China, you see, the country that I’m from, is a part of Asia.”

And she’s like, “Where’s Asia?”

[whispers] She asked me. Where Asia is.

And I say, “Well, Asia consists of, you know..” and I list the different Asian countries and she’s like “Whaat?”

And I’m like [sarcastically] it’s, it’s this thing, you know, that you learn about in like third grade geography. It’s a continent! And she’s like “A continent?”

And I’m like “Yes.”

And she goes, “so it’s not a country?”

I’m like, “No.”

And she’s like “What’s the difference?”

And I’m like [deep breath] “America, you see, has like North, Central, South, so like, take somewhere from Canada; they are North American but they’re also Canadian…”

And she’s like “I don’t understand.”

And I’m like “It’s okay, just know that I am both Asian AND Chinese” and you know what, she is still confused to this day, and I [pause] am still on the other plane of existence, screaming, as I tell this story to you. So you can come join me, on the separate plane of existence.”

[katjohnadams]

I WILL ALWAYS REBLOG THIS SHIT BECAUSE IT IS TOO REAL, TOO TRUE.

[muffintop-malachite-deactivated]

I’m actually crying

[parakeet]

[chaz-serir]

God I just shared this video with Dad the other night and we kept giggling about it afterwards.

[samandriel]

What makes this really funny is that water is free in Scotland, so buying bottled water there really is considered a complete joke