[m4ge-deactivated20210331]

a quick step by step guide on what to do if you come back to your apartment and find yourself locked out because your front door is frozen shut

kick the bottom of the door for 10 minutes

text your landlord

remember your landlord is on vacation and also in her mid 50′s so it takes about 36 hours to receive a response

briefly wonder why the fuck you moved the canada

remember that college tuition is significantly cheaper here than in the united states 

look up and notice your cat is at the window, staring at you. he paws at the window lightly and meows. it’s devastating. his eyes are so big and imploring. decide that you have to get inside your apartment at all costs. not even god himself can stop you from feeding your cat his chicken wet food dinner. frida kahlo herself could descend from the heavens and ask “hey you wanna bang?” and you’d say “hell yeah but first let me open this door so i can feed my cat his dinner”

remember there is a starbucks 3 blocks down the street from you

enter. the barista gives you a weird look for entering a starbucks at 7pm on a tuesday

order a venti cup of hot water. you order in french because the barista just said “bonjour” instead of “bonjour, hi.” you have a strong american accent. you hit the r in merci a little too hard to compensate. you embarrass yourself.

exit the starbucks clutching the massive cup of hot water in your hands. it’s burning your fingers.

return. methodically pour the starbucks cup of water all over the the door frame. it begins moving a little but still wont open

back up

ensure your doc martens are properly gripping the sheet of ice covering the ground. many people have told you to stop wearing doc martens in the winter, despite your protests that theyre actually the ideal winter boot. also, you’re a lesbian and punk’s not dead

release a pterodactyl screech and sprint towards the door, slamming the full force of your pathetically tiny 5′2″ 110lb body into it

you dont know any of your neighbors so you dont care about maintaining your pride anyways

the door swings open

run up the stairs

open the actual door to your apartment and yell MOMMY’S HOME MY LITTLE BITCHASS BABY BOY DONT WORRY at your cat

cat flings his body to the ground and starts purring like he does every time you come home

write tumblr post

[weavemama]

trump’s 1 year anniversary of being president is starting off with the government shutting down that’s the perfect representation of how american politics has been going for the past year

[wjorm]

The government got shut down when Obama was president as well.

It’s not new.

Stop blowing it out of proportion.

It’s not a rare occurrence.

[weavemama]

When the government shutdown under the Obama administration it was a divided government. Which made more sense because under a divided government it’s harder to compromise.

Here we are, 2018, and the Republicans control ALL branches of the government. They still failed to compromise and negotiate.

This is the first time the government shutdown under a one-party government. Ever.

This is most definitely a rare occurrence. Very rare.

[odinsblog]

Here we are, once again. Not even a full 12 months later, and yet another Republican shutdown.

#TrumpShutdown

[artikgato]

This is actually the third government shut-down this year. The third. There was the first in January, an additional one in February, and now we’re rounding out the year with a third shut-down. There was only one during the entire eight years Obama was President. There have only been nine total shut-downs in the entire history of America. Trump is responsible for a third of all government shut-downs and this has all happened in one year and it is only his second year in office. Is that alarming? That should be really fucking alarming.

[beachgothgay]

Weird how opening spotify in a web browser with a decent ad blocker allows you to skip ads just like would happen if you had premium. Sure hope no one takes advantage of that.

[sniper-fox-deactivated20251231]

Sure hope nobody modifies the hosts file in C:\Windows\system32\drivers\etc to block Spotify ads in the app…

[megamindmutual-deactivated20191]

PSST! HERE’S A TUTORIAL ON HOW TO BLOCK SPOTIFY ON WINDOWS!

[gamercock]

aw man I sure hope nobody learns to do that

that’s so messed up that people would do that

in fact, let’s spread it everywhere so everyone knows not to do that

and everyone knows exactly what to do so that they don’t do that

foolproof plan

[candles-and-zodiac]

while no ads is awesome you’re still limited to how many songs you can skip

[anarchapella]

Unpopular opinion: straight people using “partner” to refer to their SO actually helps normalize the term so that lgbt folx can use it without automatically outing themselves to strangers. It also helps other straight ppl get comfortable with the fact that strangers aren’t entitled to information about other people’s gender or sexuality.

[lesserkiwi-deactivated20180504]

Give op their hard-earned notes

[krusty-cakes]

Tbh I hear “partner” and assume gay, I didn’t know straights used it. Very fair point, OP

[queerlybelovedones]

I hear ‘partner’ and think ‘gay’ too. A girl at work used it for months and I just went with it. When she would say ‘he’ I even thought maybe he was trans*. Anyways, someone using partner makes me more comfortable and I came out to her. She was just an intelligent straight girl that liked the term and was knowledgeable in human sexuality so definitely someone I should have felt comfortable coming out too. It’s a good sign of a straight person uses it IMO.

[imagddisaster-deactivated202009]

As a mental health clinician, this is actually my blanket term when discussing any romantic relationship. I agree it normalizes it, but I also think it’s a relatively safe term to use to describe most romantic relationships without making any assumptions about the person’s orientation or identity. I also use the word “partnered” when describing a monogamous relationship status.

[mxthermoon]

The term “partner” also removes the implied hierarchy of boyfriend/girlfriend vs husband/wife. This is relevant both to non-monogamous people, and unmarried individuals for whom the importance of their relationship isn’t dictated by its legal status. 

[tentadog-deactivated20220704]

also you can make cowboy jokes

[pensiericaduti-deactivated20220]

button poetry

[sushie]

got crunchy joints. crispy bones. popcorn ankles. pop pop pop pop thats me gettin out of bed

[sapphicavo]

be the dyke that that youth pastor warned you about

[biggestmoodblr]

“Say you’ll never ever leave from beside me”

Artist: https://royugang.artstation.com/

Shirt 1: http://bit.ly/kikilovesme

Shirt 2:  http://bit.ly/kikilovesme2

[yoosoy]

[emotionalempowerer-blog]

Please, reblog! IIt’s called self defense. Apart from having here, in the US, one of the highest cases of homicide and rape in the world and high rate of GBV, think about how this could help your mother or sister

[jstanotherone]

I wish I could go back,

I’d do so many things so differently

[marisatomay]

my parents……..Were Right

[marisatomay]

if you get home at night after work and discover that the able-bodied quasi-adults who were at home doing nothing but watch netflix all day have not even thought about making dinner or feeding the dogs or taking out the trash or emptying the dishwasher and have left it all for you to deal with then you’re allowed to be Less Than Happy

[theconcealedweapon]

Notice the word “arrested” and not “shot”.

[atatfortatzelwurm]

Notice, also, the word “again”.

[jstanotherone]

I feel like I haven’t done anything but apologize for months and I’m just really tired

[c3rvida3]

Someone told my ex-dad (not a sex thing; he just disowned me) that I’m trans and now he’s threatening to come to work and make a scene, and I know I should be upset, but like. What’s he gonna say exactly? And to whom? Because imagining a haggard and likely shitfaced Pennsylvania construction worker barging through the grocery store like, “HEY!!! THAT BROAD-HIPPED 5'3” EFFEMINATE KID WITH THE CONSPICUOUSLY BIZARRE NAME WHO SPEAKS IN A CARTOONISHLY AFFECTED CARICATURE OF MASCULINITY AIN’T GOT NO DICK!!! YOU GONNA BUY SCRATCH OFF TICKETS FROM SOME KINDA DICKLESS ABOMINATION??“ is wild. What’s it going to accomplish? Or is he gonna call my manager? “HELLO, I’D LIKE TO REPORT A FRAUD IN YOUR DELI DEPARTMENT. THERE IS NOT SAUSAGE AS ADVERTISED.” What the fuck.

[c3rvida3]

Odds are he’s more embarrassed of having a trans ex-kid than I am of being outed at work, so what if I go to his job and tell everyone I’m trans first? What then, coward?

[grimthetransman]

That’s such a power move.

[dualclock]

This is exactly the struggle I’m having with my own mother right now and honestly? i sort of did that, but at the church i grew up in. my mom was like “oh so what if i tell the whole church youre trans” as if she had forgotten that nearly everyone who goes to my church is actually gay, like elderly retired gay couples, so i was like “haha okay,” and told everyone.

And lemme just say, watching a 5'2", 87 year old gay man stop my mother mid-sentance to say “Actually, I think he prefers to go by Aiden now.” was the BIGGEST dick energy ive ever seen.

[broadwaytheanimatedseries]

Oh my God

[tittyinfinity]

Thank you to whoever made this im so excited

[spiderslingers-deactivated20210]