pride

jude 'juice' mendoza. 28. drummer / front desk @ half moon motel.

[jude-mendoza]

I guess I’m scared people will figure out I’m a fraud. I’m not as interesting as I pretend to be. I guess I’m just scared.

Name: Jude ‘Juice’ Mendoza Age & Birthday: 28, February 14th 1995 Gender & Pronouns: Cis man he/him Hometown: Los Angeles Time in Bradford Springs: 5 years. Occupation: Front Desk at Half Moon Motel Positive traits: Approachable, Easy-Going, Creative Negative traits: Impulsive, Disorderly, Confrontational 

Jude was born and raised in L.A. His parents had a fleeing romance but still kept in contact as Jude was growing up. Sometimes his father would visit from Seattle but often times was just a guiding voice Jude would call.

His mother was an aspiring actor when she moved to L.A but happily sacrificed this so she could raise Jude.

Jude has always had an attraction to music and can play piano, guitar but his main talent excels in drumming. He absolutely loves it. 

When he was fifteen his mother passed unexpectedly and it shook his world. He moved to Seattle to live with his father, had a difficult time adjusting to this and building a strong relationship with him. Jude was attracted to the party life style, but good did come out of this.

He met musicians in a band called Slice, looking for a drummer and quickly began making music with them. In a way they saved him from a dangerous rabbit hole. From there he met Fox and River and instantly connected to them too. 

When Slice were about to have their big break, Jude panicked and was terrified how he’d handle the pressure of professionally ‘making it.’ He quit the band, and remained in Seattle. 

By now the relationship with his father was completely fractured and in general life sucked. Not long after River and Fox left Seattle, Jude followed them. 

He’s tried to get a few stable jobs along the way but the only one that has stuck is working the front desk at the motel.

Jude wishes to make music his full time job at some point. As a complex and feels guilty for not achieving more in his life. Hates the sacrifices his mother made for him just to be for nothing. 

Jude has a poetic heart and is very easy going. 

However, there’s occasions where Jude can be impulsive and his anger issues surface. He does enjoy confrontation, and doesn’t avoid it. 

[jude-mendoza]

closed with @fox-lennox​ the phoenix - 

he’s listening, he really is. but after a pill or two, fox’s eyes get so much more...big and brown and jude’s jaw is hanging open with small twitches as he stares to his friend with blown pupils. nobody notices right? everybody’s high at the phoenix, it’s like...normal. he’s normal. half way through fox’s story-telling, jude’s hand slowly raises and he flattens his palm against the smooth skin of his friend’s cheek. wow. so soft. ‘really are a fox.’ he smiles, laughing slowly before he clears his throat. ‘what happened then? like...what was it? did you actually join a gang?’ could he get free pills? ‘or club or whatever, what was it called? and finn did this? you always said you wanted to join a book club that did audio-books because you can’t read. this seems the same but with extra steps.’

[jude-mendoza]

closed with @angeloconnor​ jude and tovah’s apartment, southside -

trix and river’s new sober life has pushed jude’s un-sober one into hiding. he tells himself it’s out of respect to keep it away from them but he knows he’s telling himself lies. powdery or pill-formed vices become much stronger as secrets. the hold they have on him can grip tighter when nobody knows how often they are his friends. angel knows this, too and it explains why jude and her have spent more time together lately. their friendship has spanned over the previous five years of jude’s life in lockwood but now, with pick me ups and floating highs, it feels stronger than before. ‘we gotta write this down.’ jude says, his mind telling him he’s excited but his body moving slowly in contrast. their idea of a stick and poke tattoo studio adjacent to destination ink seems perfect, along with trading weed as payment for tiny designs. ‘there’s pens...in the top drawer.’ he waves a hand, forgetting his small stash of pills hiding within there too. ‘cause stoners will have the best design ideas too like we’d never get bored of tattooing or smoking.’

[jude-mendoza]

remington & jude

Jude was definitely a different case from Trix. Remi was never mad he made the choice to stay behind versus join the band on their new journey. Perhaps he made the better choice out of the three of them. However, Remi hadn’t kept in touch with him just like the rest and he had no idea whether or not he was even considered to be one of Jude’s friends. Looking down on their phone while they smoked outside the Phoenix alone, they popped their head up when Jude came out the door. “Yeah, I dug them. Singer is cute too.” Not that it mattered, but they figured they would voice their opinion on it anyway. “Uh, I ran into them last week, I think. Kind of awkward. Like this,” they motioned to Jude and back to themself. “How’ve you been, dude? Kind of cool you ended up here. All of it’s mystical or something.”

jude chuckles and nods to agree, lifting the cigarette to his lips but pausing to laugh some more. ‘surprised you’re out here and not trying to get their number.’ he suggests, with only a slight tease to his tone because he’s unsure where their jokes can start or end now. it shouldn’t be this tense, but it is...perhaps embarrassment that so many things went wrong for everybody not just trix and rem. another smile appears when rem calls it as they see it and jude hums with no vivacity. ‘yeah it kinda feels like...we gotta start over, right? not just...lives but...friendships too.’ he says back, letting out a sigh. ‘er i’ve been...trying to just be as normal as possible i guess? i followed after river and fox because seattle felt...um...empty with everyone gone.’ he shrugs and takes a few steps to close the distance between the old friend. ‘you hanging in there okay?’

[jude-mendoza]

axel & jude:

Ever since the little chat with Danny, Axel was ignoring Kas. He wanted to go straight over there and beat the piss out of him but he knew him too damn well. That would give him room to blame it on him and probably relish in the attention. However, that same treatment didn’t extend to Tovah and he went to her place with full intention to cause a scene. Brought some shit with him that was likely a mixture of hers and some other girl’s but he was going to claim it was hers. Instead of seeing her on the other side of the door, it was her roommate. Jonah? No that wasn’t it. Jude. “Don’t need to stop on my account, but if you want better shit hit me up.” He motioned to the residue in front of him and the way he looked like he’d just been caught with his hand in the cookie jar. “The fuck is she? We need to have words.” Axe moved further into the apartment, making himself right at home. He dropped the box on the counter and moved to the living room. “All good, I’ll just wait for her then. Y’all been fuckin’ too?” May as well come out with it and add it to the pile of ammunition. 

his eyes move from the powder and to axe, deciding to laugh off the scene instead of be embarrassed by it. ‘ha yeah, well i don’t do this often. just a sorta, pick me up.’ he says quickly but he’s sure axel has heard every explanation in the books. it’s true though, jude thinks. it’s just for those low moments or when energy is sparse. jude decides to move to his feet, tucking the note behind an ear to follow axe. something seems off but he tries his hardest to not get involved in couple spats. if he did, it’d be constant. ‘everything good?’ jude asks, concerned but not exactly attached. ‘want a drink or something?’ he offers and then laughs at the accusation, furrowing a brow. ‘errr if we did, it was very forgettable because i can’t remember any of it.’ he shrugs. ‘no. most we talk about is rick and morty and well, if you’re gonna get back together...’ shows how much he knows.

[jude-mendoza]

trix & jude

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───    

                                          Trix spent a long time wondering if Jude’s choice to stay in Seattle sealed Slice’s fate. Not in a bad way but he was a natural talent, part of the foundation of the band. His refusal should have been Trix’s sign that it was a bad idea, but at the time they were fueled by the desire to make something of themself. In the end it was the undoing of them. “Er…not yet, it’s more theme plans and kind of vibe talk right now. Not rushing it. Plus, finding someone who doesn’t do the traditional hetereo shit is tough.” Trix laughed, watching over to Jude as they grabbed their own snacks. “I’m pretty sure River has a vision in their head that we have to make sure can be done and understood. Plus money.” A big one. 

‘you enjoyin’ the planning?’ jude smiles the question. he’s never had a relationship that lasted long enough for marriage to even be a thought but for trix and river it makes sense. a love spanning for so long with an intense burning flame deserves recognition. ‘maybe you should do a totally normal wedding vibe to confuse people before all the boring white shit tears down into pastel goth heaven.’ he laughs and he’s sure if money wasn’t an object, their creative ideas would flow into reality without issues. ‘must be exciting though, i know i can’t wait. for the reception either, that’ll be one good party.’

[jude-mendoza]

closed with @remington-joubert​ the phoenix -

does jude have the right to dislike remington joubert? the million dollar question. jude made his bed by denouncing his position as a drummer and by remaining in seattle. the other million dollar question is if jude dislikes remi at all. it doesn’t feel like dislike, more like awkward tension in the air as if both of them never thought they’d be face to face with one another again. the smoking area outside of the phoenix is empty apart from the two of them, and jude is anxiously patting a beat of his palms against his legs. ‘kinda cool.’ he breaks the awkward silence, nodding his head towards the dive bar doors. ‘the 80s hardcore shit that just played. they were cool.’ he looks around, wishing fox would arrive and be able to fill all the gaps in of their silence. ‘you seen trix yet?’ maybe they could bond over having a rocky relationship with the tall goth.

[jude-mendoza]

closed with @axelyoung​ jude & tovi’s place -

jude can always be found downtown with his friends, hooked to river and fox’s arms and unmovable. but, river and trix’s sobriety is something he’s proud of and doesn’t wish to undermine by his own recreational enjoyment. it’s not often enough to be a problem, right? it just helps him get through shifts or feels better during the moments he remembers he will never see his mother again. the line of white snowy powder is inhaled sharply just as the door opens and jude hides the rolled note in his palm, expecting tovah. ‘er...axe.’ he observes casually. the two have never liked one another, jude suspects jealousy on axel’s part. but jude can confidently say that tovah ackerman is the very first red-head ever that jude has never slept with. ‘she’s not...here.’ he guesses he’s looking for her. ‘i mean i don’t keep tabs but i can shoot her a text?’

[jude-mendoza]

closed with @trixstone​ pump you up -

their friendship hasn’t been restored to what it used to be but jude wonders if that’s a good thing. it gives them a new foundation and starting block, even if things feel dicey when they spend time together. ‘fun dip.’ jude ruminates as he grabs a few of them to add to the already growing pile. this is what you get when you ask fox to send a text of everything he wants when he’s too stoned to move. he’s surprised trix offered to tag along, jude assuming there’s some conversation looming in the air. ‘you and rivvy got the date yet?’ he asks, excitement for his friends next chapter together. he hasn’t told trix that he’s randomly been pinteresting too...it’d be weird, right? 

[jude-mendoza]

river & jude:

.

Naturally their arm went around Jude the minute he got close to them. The only difference from any other time was the audible wince that followed due to the unfortunate run in with an angry blonde biker earlier in the night. “Hmm? Oh don’t apologize Juice baby, you’re fine.” River had been in and out of reality since they walked through the door, the disassociating trauma responses only worsening as things continued to go wrong. But the mention of their other best friend going for a walk had River suddenly on high alert. “A walk? Alone? What does he think he’s invincible all of a sudden?” With one hand River pulled out their phone to to shoot the fluffster a quick text to stay near other people before someone mistakes him for a biker and pulls him into the latest drama of the night. “No, I took a nap on Trixie’s lap earlier. What can I do to help, my beautiful friend?”

it’s this closeness that made jude’s decision in seattle easy. knowing he’d not want to risk the feeling of family for the unknown, and here he would stay. ‘are you okay?’ jude whispers back to river as he sinks under the covers for warmth. a small laugh leaves him about fox, and he points with his little pinky to the direction fox skipped away in. ‘think to go get a drink. but he has his those fluffy fox pj bottoms on, so.’ jude giggles at the sight he witnessed just moments before. ‘he doesn’t look like a threat.’ jude adds, but wonders if fox could even look like one if he tried. ‘is trix all good? where they at?’ jude sits up a little to scan for them too. ‘you help by just being you.’ he answers truthfully and smiles again to river. ‘i just wanna get out of this school and this storm to be done.’

[jude-mendoza]

fox & jude:

- 

Fox wasn’t taking any notice of being Jude’s drumset. If anything, the background beat was actually soothing him and making Fox nod his head softy in time. Even if his other knee was bouncing uncontrollably. Anyone would think Fox was caught in the cross fire himself, his bangs were basically standing upright and he was shaking like those tiny teacup chihuahuas did when somebody looked at them for too long. “Huh?” Jude’s question snapped him back to Earth, before he went right back to chewing his nails. “I don’t wanna think about it.” he then followed up with a muffled tone. But obviously, he was now. Fox barely even reacted to his head being a cymbal, he only blinked tightly and remained exactly in the same place. “Do you think they’re still in here? The person…who like…did it?”

jude respects fox’s wishes with a nod and keeps his speculations to himself as he continues to drum. however, fox’s nerves are palpable not to mention his bouncing knee throwing the beat off a few times. ‘you want a reggae type thing?’ he makes a joke of it with a gentle laugh, falling into off tempo on purpose. the beat is akin to bob marley’s don’t worry, making a small smile flicker over jude’s lips. he has to think about fox’s question and his eyes scan through the school with scrutiny. everyone looks as scared as one another, it’s impossible to tell. ‘i dunno...’ he sighs. ‘realistically, yeah. but...hopefully no.’

[jude-mendoza]

closed starter, @riverpatel​ edison high school -

squeezing up to river is second nature after all the years, it doesn’t seem like intimacy and comes as naturally as a handshake. jude whispers a small apology for disturbing them, but everyone is having turns in squeezing up close for reassurance and comfort. ‘fox needed to go for a walk and i just want to sleep.’ jude explains in a hushed whisper, truthfully unable to sleep with the uneasiness washing over the school ever since the gunshot was heard. ‘can you sleep?’ he asks, blinking softly to try and adjust to river’s face. 

[jude-mendoza]

closed starter, @fox-lennox​ edison high school -

jude’s hands gently cradle the drumsticks, curating a small beat atop of fox’s knee that’s peeking out between the denim of his ripped jeans. it’s the only source of entertainment that will keep jude from the cabin fever that’s looming over everybody’s heads, even more so after the news of somebody dying. ‘do you think all small towns are like this? people just getting killed..but we only ever hear about the cities.’ he asks with a sense of nervousness in his voice, still tapping the drumsticks away against his friend’s skin while he glances through the school. ‘i think it’s all gonna get crazy.’ he adds, flourishing the beat by using fox’s head as a makeshift cymbal. 

[thirst-for-boys]