Jude Tales

We are a queer interracial married couple rasing our first child, Jude Davis. She was born January 14, 2014.

[judedavismm]

Nursing and Teething

I really hope that Jude is teething because my nipples hurt so bad. She still hasn’t cut her canines so I hope that the excessive nursing is due to that. 

Ever since she got teeth, nursing when she is cutting new ones gets increasingly painful. It makes me question whether I want to continue nursing at all. I keep trying to remind that the pain will pass when she is not teething, but I’m not sure it is worth it. I think I might be doing it because I want to be able to say I let her self wean and that I nursed her a long time.

I spend so much of my time as a parent thinking about other people and second guessing myself that I don’t know how I ever make a decision. At this point I will continue nursing Jude. I think.

[judedavismm]

18 months

Just a quick update.

Jude had her 18-month well baby check up today. She is amazing. She weighs 23 lbs 9 oz and is 31 ½ inches long/tall. She had one shot today. She did not cry about the shot. 

She has a ton of words and two-three word phrases which we have yet to count. I can try to list most of them right now: mama, mom, mompa, doggie, kittie, lacey, ball, bye, hat, cat, home, slipper, sock, pee, poop, diaper, Tigger, blanket, jacket, chair, milk, water, no, school, up, help, out, welcome, thanks, I’m naked, go away, no Lacey, and here you go. That’s all I can think of right now. 

Her sleep at night is fair by my standards, but I’m sure amazing by others. She was basically night weaned before we went on vacation and was doing well during. Something changed toward the end of the trip. We had talked about being relaxed with the rules during our vacation to avoid any unnecessary difficulties. Now that we are home, and I am still a bit jetlagged, it is hard to get back to the normal routine. She is really only waking once at night right now and then nursing as usual after 5:30. I’m torn about what to do, I think that when I am feeling normal again I will be able to get back to our routine. It doesn’t help that Molly basically didn’t sleep the first three nights we were home. I can’t do night weaning by myself, it’s near impossible.

And that’s what you missed on Glee!

[judedavismm]

Jude and Dresses

I think Jude looks weird in dresses. I believe it’s because Jude has only ever worn onesies and leggings. I put tights and a dress on Jude today and it was so bizarre. Jude almost did not look like my baby. Jude kind of look like a baby in drag. This is as girly as I can stand. I’m sure that if Jude had a headband on they would have looked less weird, but I hate headbands on babies especially ones with big flowers and bows.

[judedavismm]

Now that Jude has grown up a bit she looks less weird in girly clothes. I think what I was noticing then was that dresses on babies that aren't mobile look weird. Now that she walks and stands they look more natural on her.

[judedavismm]

Why do you say the word vulva so much that your baby has picked up on it..?

Because she has discovered her body and I want to make sure that she knows the correct name for her body parts.

[judedavismm]

Everybody is away

I just spent my first night alone in our new house. This is the first morning I have not been with Jude when she woke up since her birth. I couldn't go to sleep last night because she was not here. I can't wait for them to come home. I don't want to do that again. Not by myself. But I will have to because all the shifts that are available at my job are overnights and 24hrs. Ugh!

[judedavismm]

Words

Jude is starting to string two words together and it is amazing and scary. She says, "all mine" "go away" and "I'm naked." And my proud parent moment was when she could almost clearly repeat back "vulva" and when she pointed to her vulva.

[judedavismm]

Chronicles of Night Weaning

Yesterday we decided to finally make the switch to Jude’s toddler bed. She has been trying to climb into her bed at bedtime for weeks now.

Well, last night we a little disorganized and she fell asleep on our car ride to drop of a young man we care for on Sundays. This also meant that she ate supper too early and that she did not nurse before being laid down.

Unfortunately, this also meant that she woke up at 11:30, which was 1/2 hour into the 7-hour block of night weaning. I hadn’t gone to sleep yet and was half tempted to just nurse her. Instead, Molly kindly reminded me that she was probably hungry. I am always prepared for her to be thirsty but not hungry. Thankfully we just purchased a new pack of string cheese. Jude sleepily ate half the string cheese and drank a lot of water, then peacefully fell back to sleep in our bed until almost 6am.

I’ve noticed her sleeping patterns and decided that 5:30a would be our cut off for no nursing. So some mornings that doesn’t work for her and Molly has to take her out of the room and some mornings she doesn’t wake until after that time.

I wrote all of that to say that sometimes I have to feed my child a cheese stick in bed for her to go back to sleep. 

[judedavismm]

Slow down!

We put Jude down asleep in her toddler bed. I just can't. I hope it makes bedtime easier going forward.

[judedavismm]

Night Weaning

I’ve been meaning to write this update for quite some time, but I never have enough time to sit and think the post through.

I think we started night weaning Jude about two weeks ago. I decided after reading dover ‘s post about the method she chose to use to night wean Win, and seeing a video about the same method weeks later, that Dr. Gordon’s schedule for weaning a baby that co-sleeps would be the best choice. 

I looked a number of different suggestions before settling on this method. All the other options were clearly geared to families that don’t share a bed. This method also seemed a bit more gentle and understanding of the idea that sometimes you have to make exceptions.

So about two weeks ago, Molly and I read the instructions and gave it some thought. We decided the next day that we would start. Oh, good lord! The first night was so damn hard, and the nights just keep getting harder. The last four days being the absolute hardest. We, of course, had to modify the instructions to meet our needs. Since Jude starts the night in her room, we could not avoid picking her up for the last four nights.

Since the ten days have ended, things have been up and down. One night she sleeps in her room until 6am! Another night she woke up at 2:45 and didn’t go back to sleep until 3:45. There was one night that she woke at 3:30, I brought her to our bed and she just went back to sleep.

We have been doing our best to remain united and consistent. What we have learned is that Jude can be very persistent and determined. I have found myself questioning my decision to night wean when she gets riled up in the middle of the night. It is less difficult when I head to bed a reasonable time and she sleeps for a while because I have a little more sleep to function.

My hope that with more teeth she can eat better throughout the day and start to depend less on my milk to fill her up before bed. Part of me knows that isn’t why she is nursing before bed or during the day when we are together. She is using me as a comfort. I’m trying to get her to find comfort in a blanket. I think I am getting close.

Well, that was a long-winded post about more than just night weaning. I should learn to post in a way that isn’t exactly how I talk. 

[judedavismm]

Thank goodness for old standbys.

I haven’t used this baby sleep app in months, but with the little sleep we all got last night I was willing to try anything. I set it for an hour and 6 minutes in and Jude is knocked out. I’m glad I got her familiar with this at such a young age. I want to take her off my back, but I fear she will wake so I guess I’ll awkwardly sit on the couch while she sleeps.

[judedavismm]

I found this photo on tumblr and sent it to Molly. She got really excited because she thought I got her a kitten. This dog looks exactly like our dog we even have a blanket that looks like the one they are lying on. She was so sad when I told her that wasn't our dog. I'm not sure why she would even expect me to get her a kitten. I want the cats we have now to leave. And se knows that!

[judedavismm]

Jude has been exploring the potty this weekend. She used twice this weekend. I mostly just want her to know it exist and where it lives. She can say potty and poop. Both times she pooped on the potty she told me. She let me know when she was all done with the potty as well. I'm not in any rush to potty train. I don't think she is truly showing signs of potty readiness but I don't think there is any harm in doing what we are doing.

[judedavismm]

Walker!

Jude is finally walking! I'm so excited. She still prefers to crawl still but is getting more interested in waking everyday. I love to see her walk.

[judedavismm]

solointhesand Yes! I am so glad we don't have carpet.

[judedavismm]

Ha!

Jude just pooped on the floor. Lately I've had to change her diaper on the floor because she screams when I try to put her on the changing table. I know when to pick my battles. Tonight I put her on the floor, got her diaper off and she started rolling around so Molly said to let her be diaper free for a little while. I agreed. Well Jude was sitting/crouching and then handed me a book. I knew she wanted me to read it but she wasn't climbing into my lap. Then she finally came toward and I saw what the hold up was. I was just glad she didn't pee. Poop is easy to clean up these days.

[judedavismm]

Right around my toddler's 2nd birthday, I started the weaning process. Here are the steps I took to do it gently and without much drama.

[judedavismm]

Mother-Led Weaning: How and Why I Gently Weaned My Son

Gathering some ideas about weaning Jude. Not sure when we will start, but I want to do a little reading about other people's experience before we start.