Eddie Has A Silver Star

911 fanfiction (judymarch15 on AO3) pro-ship, multi-ship, ship and let ship BE FREE MY FRIENDS. 18+ only.

[judymarch15]

My Fics - Self-Recs, WIPs, Recently Completed

I joined the fandom for Tevan but stayed for all the rare pairs. Check out my full fic list: page 1 and page 2. or peruse my wips, recents, and self-recs below. My stuff is all over the place so check the tags before you proceed.

my self-recs (multichapter):

My Best Friend and a Pilot - Buck/Eddie/Tommy

My Blessings are Things you Call Sins - Eddie/Father Brian

Matters of the Heart - Eddie/Dr. Salazar

Nothing Could Go Wrong Anytime I'm With You - Sal/Tommy

Brooke's Coffee - Buck/Tommy coffee shop AU

Daniel's Cookie Jar - Buck/Tommy bakery AU

Cleats and Crescendos - Sal/Eddie high school teacher AU

Guidance & Gravity - Buck/Tommy high school teacher AU

Nonno Tom's - Buck/Tommy restaurant AU

my self-recs (one-shot):

Pepa & Evancito - Buck and Pepa, Buck/Tommy

Tomorrow - Buck/Tommy

Friendly Fire - Buck/Tommy, Eddie [collab with @sunnywithachanceofbi]

There Must Be Something in the Water - Buck/Tommy

Peanut Butter - Buck/Tommy

A Bathroom with Two Sinks - Josh/Eddie [warning: MCD]

No More Joking About It - Sal/Eddie

Home Is Wherever I'm With You - Rick Romero/Lou Ransome

wip or recently completed:

You Are The Life I Needed All Along - Sal/Shannon to Sal/Eddie [WIP]

Listen Here, Shrimp - Sal/Eddie, Buck/Tommy [complete]

Baby Boy, You Stay On My Mind - Buck/Tommy [complete]

What You Gonna Do? - Buck/Tommy, Cop!Eddie (kinda) [complete]

[judymarch15]

“why  do  you  always  think  you  have  to  do  everything  on  your  own ??”

SalEddie cause you do it SO well.

Bonus Sal saying it to Eddie 🥰.

Some SalEddie for you @fairytalegonewronga03. The first of many!

CW: blood and injury

Sal: I’m bored.

Sal: Send me a dick pic

Eddie: no

Sal: C’mooooon don’t be a prude

Eddie: last time you showed it to half the crew

Sal: Excuse me for being proud of my guy

Sal: Show me your hole then

Eddie: jesus

Sal: Whatever

Sal: I’ll be home in 5 hours

Sal: You better be ready to show me the real thing

Eddie tossed his phone onto the coffee table, laughing to himself and shaking his head. Chris was at school and Eddie had already gotten through most of the chores on his list. There was just one more that was nagging him.

It was his own fault, really. He’d let it go too long and now a few branches of the tree in the backyard were too close to the roof of the house. He just had to take a handsaw up the ladder and cut them off, not a big deal. It was the kind of thing he’d do on his own before, but when Sal saw it on the to-do list Eddie had made himself, Sal told him to wait until he could be there to help hold the ladder.

He’d gone up the ladder and trimmed the branches before. It would take 20 minutes, tops, including the time it took to get everything out and set up the ladder. There was no reason to wait.

The first couple branches came down easily. Eddie moved the ladder to get to the last one. The ground was a little less level in that spot, but he wasn’t too worried, he distributed his weight on the ladder rung to make up for it. Everything was steady.

Until it wasn’t.

The ladder wobbled and Eddie went to catch himself - not thinking, not remembering the saw he had in one hand until it was too late. The jagged metal teeth dragged across his forearm and he cried out as it sliced skin and flesh.

He instantly dropped the saw, then clapped his free hand over the wound as it throbbed. He waited until he got down off the ladder to look, blood seeping from between his fingers.

”Fuck!” he bit out a curse and went quickly into the house.

He turned on the kitchen faucet and stuck his arm under the water to rinse away the blood. What he saw made his stomach lurch - a ragged gash with blood pouring out as fast as the water could rinse it away.

It was stupid. So fucking stupid. Just his body’s stupid instinct to catch himself overriding the knowledge that he was holding a sharp object in one hand. What a god damn idiot.

He grabbed a kitchen towel and applied pressure. The pain was intense, throbbing with every heartbeat.

It was enough that he needed stitches. He knew that. He’d bandage it as best he could at home then go get it taken care of.

He grabbed his first aid kit from under the sink, his head swimming from the motion of bending over. He took a deep breath to clear the spots from his vision, then sat at the kitchen table to throw on a thick layer of gauze, then wrapped it in tape as tight as he could.

He could already see the blood soaking the gauze, but it would have to do.

Eddie grabbed his phone, wallet, and keys, then stumbled out to his truck, swallowing hard against the nausea, taking deep breaths to keep his head from swimming.

The nearest hospital was only a ten minute drive. It would be fine.

Once he was on the road, he used voice commands to send Sal a text.

“Hey, I accidentally cut my arm. Nothing too bad, just slipped. I’m gonna go get it looked at. Just wanted to tell you in case I’m not home yet when you come over. I’ll text Chris and let him know,” Eddie said, then told the text to send.

Eddie blinked again as spots filled his vision, focused on taking deep breaths as everything around him started to tilt and swirl.

He was almost there. Just a few more blocks.

*****

Eddie groaned as he struggled to open his eyes. He must have lost more blood than he thought and passed out for a second. Everything felt hazy and strange as he tried to focus his eyes.

But he wasn’t in his truck.

“Hey,” a familiar voice said, rough fingers wrapped around Eddie’s hand. “You’re at First Pres.”

“I…I don’t remember getting here,” Eddie said hoarsely. He blinked his eyes open and saw Sal sitting on the edge of his bed, frowning down at him.

“Not surprising, given the concussion,” Sal said.

“I don’t-“ Eddie started to argue, then stopped as he took stock of his body and felt something was off. He looked down to where his leg was propped up, wrapped in a cast. “Wh-what?”

“Oh yeah,” Sal said unsympathetically. “You totaled your truck. Knocked your head good and broke your foot.”

Eddie’s head buzzed. “I don’t understand.”

Sal exhaled with frustration. “Well from what we’ve all put together, after you nearly chopped your arm off with a saw, you decided to drive yourself to the hospital. Then you passed out behind the wheel because you lost too much blood.”

Eddie’s heart jumped. “Is anyone else hurt?”

“No.”

Eddie sighed in relief.

“You ran into a concrete barrier,” Sal said flatly. “They had to pry open your truck to get you out.”

Eddie let out a quiet groan.

“What the hell were you thinking, Ed?!” Sal snapped. “First of all, I told you to wait to deal with that goddamn tree. And when you got hurt like that you should have called 9-1-1, or asked your neighbor for a ride or, hell, called a fucking Uber.”

“Sal-“

Sal held up a hand to stop him. “No. I’m not done. Not even close. That was so, incredibly irresponsible. You know better. Chris came home from school to a fucking crime scene in the kitchen and called me in a panic.”

Eddie’s stomach clenched.

“But don’t worry, before I could even tell him what was going on I got a call from the hospital saying you’d just come in. I figured it was for the arm thing but nope, they told me you’d been in an accident.”

“Sal, I’m-“

“Eddie! “ Sal all but shouted. “What the fuck were you thinking? Why do you always think you need to do everything on your own?”

Eddie had seen Sal mad. Sal wasn’t in the habit of tempering any of his emotions. He’d seen Sal mad at him too. But nothing like this. Sal was furious.

“Well?” Sal asked expectantly.

“Oh, you actually want me to talk now?”

Sal glared at him. “No, actually, I don’t. Because whatever you come up with as an excuse isn’t gonna cut it.”

Eddie looked away and silence stretched out between them.

“I just don’t understand…” Sal said, quieter this time, his voice thick with emotion. “You’re not alone. You have me. Am I not enough?”

Eddie looked at Sal again. The anger was gone, replaced with…hurt, eyes bright and shining with tears.

“Sal…no…” Eddie said gently.

“I want you to rely on me for things. To need me. To fucking share your burdens because I want them to be mine too,” Sal said.

Eddie moved his hand in a bid to hold Sal’s hand. He couldn’t reach it on his own. Sal saw, then gave Eddie his hand.

“It’s not just the yardwork, you know? It’s everything. You’re still keeping parts of yourself locked away and I want you to let me in.”

“It’s not that easy,” Eddie said quietly.

“Do it anyway. Because you love me and I love you. No one said that shit was easy.”

Eddie went to wipe his eyes with the back of his free hand, but the IV was there.

“I’ve got you,” Sal said, grabbing a couple tissues from a box next to the bed. He dabbed at Eddie’s eyes, carefully wiping away the tears.

“See? I can let you do things for me,” Eddie gave Sal a weak smile.

Sal’s expression softened. “It’s a start,” he said, setting the damp tissues aside.

Eddie squeezed Sal’s hand, still firmly clasped in his. “I’m sorry.”

Sal nodded, then lifted Eddie’s hand and kissed the backs of his fingers. “I know how you can make it up to me.”

“A dick pic?” Eddie laughed weakly.

“No,” Sal said, then paused. “Okay actually I can’t say no to that,” he grinned in his very Sal-like way and it made Eddie’s insides feel soft and warm. His expression slid into something more serious, but he still had a soft glint in his eye.

“You’re gonna let me take care of you for a bit, okay?” Sal said, looking like he expected no argument. “I’m staying with you until you’re healed. I’m gonna help with Chris, I’m gonna help around the house…”

Eddie had spent years trying to be as self-sufficient as he could. He had to prove to himself and his parents and anyone else that he could make a good life for himself and his son.

He hasn’t been going it alone. He had Pepa, he’d had Abuela, he had Buck. But it wasn’t the same. It wasn’t his entire life, his heart, and his soul he was sharing. It was pieces. Sal was asking for everything. And Eddie found he wanted to give it to him.

“Okay,” Eddie agreed.

Sal leaned in and lowered his voice. “And I’m gonna help you shower.”

“Deal,” Eddie said quickly, drawing a laugh out of Sal.

Sal brushed his fingers against Eddie’s cheek. “I’m sorry I yelled.

“Don’t be sorry. I needed to hear it.”

“Yeah. You did.”

Eddie let out a tired laugh. “Come here and kiss me, I can’t sit up and I need you.”

Sal obliged. He leaned in and gave him a soft kiss. “Look, you’re already doing such a good job,” he grinned, then gave him another. “I love you.”

“I love you too,” Eddie said.

He never would have guessed the second great love of his life would be a feisty, outspoken, man. But here he was with his filthy mouth and big heart and Eddie couldn’t imagine his life any other way.

[geddyqueer]

imagine being the girl sitting in front of kip at that game and thinking for a brief moment that scott hunter was pointing at you

[judymarch15]

I've got just the fic for this courtesy of @sunnywithachanceofbi https://archiveofourown.org/works/80079381

[judymarch15]

“   i  hate  seeing  you  like  this   …   please ,  let  me  help .   ” (platonic buck & eddie)

—💜 @nine-one-wanton

For you, @nine-one-wanton, platonic buddie. cw: suicidal ideation, referenced canon character death

Eddie cradled the bottle close to his chest, conspicuously concealed in a crumpled brown paper bag. He took a careless swig, liquor slipping down his chin, burning his throat as he swallowed. 

The burn told him he wasn’t numb enough. He had to keep drinking until nothing hurt anymore. 

Eddie wiped his chin with his palm, then used the back of his hand to wipe his eyes. The wind blowing off the ocean below had dried the tears on his face, leaving his skin feeling tight and sticky. 

He wanted to sit at the edge of the cliff, to let his feet dangle down into the abyss. He fantasized about what the freefall would feel like. He wondered if his bones would break on the rocks or he’d make it to the water and drown instead. 

He knew if he got too close to the edge there was a chance he’d do it. So he always parked his truck just close enough to feel the breeze and hear the waves below. He’d open the tailgate and sit, legs dangling. He could close his eyes and imagine the drop, but when he opened them he’d see gravel and scrubby grass inches below his boots. 

Eddie took another drink, his throat felt raw and his chest uncomfortably, artificially warmed by the booze. 

The sky that spread out in front of him looked like rainbow sherbet - deep pink and fiery orange. Below that, the ocean sparkled, reflecting the last rays of light. 

It made him fucking miserable. The beauty of it all was like salt in a wound. He longed for the sun to finish setting, for the sky to darken and bruise. Let the outside match how he felt inside. 

He hated the anniversary of Shannon’s death. And still it came, every year. And every year he was still here to see it. 

It was easier in the daylight with his son to focus on. He’d make sure it was a good day for him. They’d visit Shannon’s grave with her favorite flowers. Eddie would do his best to keep her memory alive for his son, reaching deep into his own broken heart to pick out pieces of her to share. Chipping away pieces of himself in the process. 

It was worth it to see Shannon’s smile live on in their son’s face. 

The evenings he would spend alone. Abuela, when she was still alive, or Pepa, would take his son for the night to give Eddie a chance to grieve on his own. They’d both loved and lost too. They understood. They didn’t ask what he did. They just kept him until Eddie was ready to come pick him up. 

Some years were easier than others. This year was not. This year he’d lost Bobby, he’d lost Abuela. He’d nearly lost his best friend then he’d nearly lost himself. 

Eddie knew he didn’t want to die. He’d come close enough times to feel that survival instinct kick in, to feel his body and his mind fight to stay. 

He could have let go. He could have laid on the floor of the hospital chapel and bled out, alone. The chance was there and he hadn’t taken it. He’d fought to stay like he always did. 

Eddie heard the crunch of another vehicle’s tires over the gravel as it pulled into the abandoned lot. If it was a cop, he supposed he was screwed. He shouldn’t be sitting there, trespassing on land some company bought and never developed, drinking himself stupid in the bed of his truck. 

It was probably some teens who had discovered the secluded spot. Somewhere safe, away from parents, in the freedom offered by a driver’s license and a few hours until curfew. 

That had been him, once upon a time. And Shannon. They’d been young and in love. They’d been invincible in that way young people could be, never considering anything beyond the chance to make each other feel good for a few minutes. 

Eddie could never regret it. Not when it has given him Christopher. 

A car door closed, then footsteps approached. Then the truck dipped with the weight of a body settling in beside him. 

“Hey,” Buck said. 

Eddie cleared his throat and stupidly tried to hide the bottle on the other side of himself. Ashamed of his own indulgence, conscious of Buck’s sobriety. But Buck saw and waved him off. 

“It’s okay,” Buck said without judgement. “Do what you need to do.”

Eddie’s head was already swimming. If he drank anything more he’d black out. So he tipped the bottle upside down and let the remains pour out onto the ground. He let the bottle drop too, with a thud. 

He’d pick it up later, because the thought of littering made him feel too guilty. 

“Are you okay?” Buck asked. 

Eddie laughed, humorlessly, tearfully. “Not at all.”

“You wanna talk?”

Eddie shook his head, his empty hands feeling clumsy without the bottle to hold. 

They sat in silence a bit, Buck’s shoulder close to his, but not touching. 

“You know,” Eddie started and he didn’t know why. “When I was parking the truck I thought about just stomping on the gas, backing through the guard rail and going right over.”

Buck went still beside him for a moment. “Are you…are you thinking about killing yourself?”

“Thinking, sure,” Eddie shrugged, then wiped at his eyes as tears started to flow. “I’d never do it. I just think about it sometimes.”

He’d never shared this with a soul. Maybe there was something about having seen Buck at his lowest so recently, he wanted to even the score. 

“Have you…have you talked to someone about it? About feeling this way? Your therapist or…anyone?”

“No,” Eddie answered honestly. “It’s okay, Buck. I’m okay. I’m not…I’d never leave Chris behind. It’s just a bad day today.”

Eddie felt the warmth of Buck’s hand on his shoulder and his breath stuttered as he cried. 

“I hate seeing you like this. Please, let me help,” Buck said. 

“I just…I miss her. But it’s not just that. I think…she wanted a divorce, you know? I think it would have happened. I would have given her anything she wanted. She should have had the chance to really live and be loved like she deserved.”

“Eddie…” Buck said gently. Eddie turned his head to look at his friend, his blue eyes shining in the low light. “You deserve to live too.”

Eddie wanted to argue that she deserved it more, but he swallowed that down. 

“I think…it’s not just Shannon I’m grieving. It’s me. I’m grieving myself. Who I didn’t get to be. Who I wasn’t. Who I should be. Who I’m not.”

He didn’t know if he was making any sense. He was exhausted and he just wanted it all to stop for a while. He just wanted a break. Nothing permanent just…a pause.

“I don’t know the right thing to say and I wish I did,” Buck said carefully. “But I…I can’t imagine what my life would be like if I’d never met you. And I don’t want to imagine my life in the future w-without you in it.”

“I’ll be here,” Eddie promised, tears pouring down his cheeks. “I will.”

“Good,” Buck said, then he wrapped his arms around Eddie and pulled him into a tight hug. 

Eddie pressed his face into Buck’s shoulder and let himself cry, let himself sob and fall apart. He cried so hard he had to pull away and be sick, the alcohol burning his throat just as bad on the way up. 

Buck rubbed his back, wiped his mouth with his sleeve, and hugged him again until Eddie was cried out and shivering. 

“Come on,” Buck said as he got up, helping Eddie up too. “I’ve got Gatorade in my truck. I’ll take you home. We’ll come back for your truck tomorrow.”

Eddie swayed on his feet, but Buck was there, holding him steady, guiding him toward the passenger seat of his truck. He buckled him in with care, then squeezed his shoulder. 

“I’ve got a couple emesis bags in the glovebox, just in case,” Buck said, offering a smile. 

Eddie went ahead and grabbed one to hold, just in case. The roads down from the cliff were a bit windy. 

Eddie started to feel warmer, steadier now that he wasn’t alone. The steady heat from the air vents helped. Buck kept the radio low, the window half down to let Eddie have the fresh air. 

Buck let them into Eddie’s house and steered Eddie back to his bedroom. He managed to get Eddie’s shoes off before he collapsed into bed. Buck maneuvered Eddie’s heavy limbs around in an attempt to get him comfortable. Beneath the drunkenness and exhaustion was an undercurrent of shame that he’d let himself get to this point.

“I’ll be in the living room if you need anything,” Buck said, setting a full bottle of Gatorade on the bedside table and a bowl in case he needed to be sick. “And in the morning, once you’ve had a nice greasy breakfast and a shower, we’re going to make an appointment for you to talk to somebody, okay?”

Eddie wanted to protest, but he didn’t have the energy, and he knew Buck was talking sense. 

“Thank you,” Eddie mumbled tiredly.

“You did the same for me,” Buck said, his hand warm against Eddie’s shoulder. “I’m just glad you’ll let me help.”

Buck sat on the edge of the bed, a strong and steady presence, until Eddie fell asleep.

send me a hurt/comfort prompt!

[rightnfrontofyou]

eddie diaz week day 4 -> combo wetddie + moustacheddie

[judymarch15]

“You want me to punch him in the face? "

Dealer's choice on pairing but you know what my favorite is lol 😉

Here is some Father Brian/Eddie hurt/comfort for you my dear @30somethingautisticteacher. I'm all over the place with the vibes on these prompt fills, so I hope you enjoy this fluffy little thing. This is the Father Brian/Eddie from this little universe, but you don't have to have read that to read this!

Eddie sat in the waiting room of the oral surgery office, looking through one of the magazines they had sitting out. Magazines felt novel. It seemed like most medical offices didn’t have them anymore. Probably because everyone just scrolled on their phones while they waited. But, to Eddie, reading a magazine in a waiting room was like getting ginger ale on an airplane. It hit differently in those settings. And it was sort of a ritual - it felt weird not to.

He’d just finished his third Home & Garden magazine when a nurse walked out into the waiting room and called his name. Eddie set the magazine aside and approached.

“Surgery went well. We removed all four wisdom teeth,” the nurse said, leading Eddie to the back, giving him some post-op instructions and letting him know prescriptions have been sent to the pharmacy on file. Eddie nodded along, listening, but eager to see Brian with his own eyes.

Yes, wisdom teeth surgery was completely routine. But even so, there was an edge of worry in his chest he knew wouldn’t go away until he saw him. 

Eddie stepped into the recovery room and saw Brian there, cheeks packed with gauze, eyes hazy. He had a wrap around his head with an ice pack on either side of his face. He attempted to smile at Eddie.

“Heyyyy dear,” he said, reaching his hand out.

Eddie went over to him and took hold of his hand, warmth and fondness chasing away the last tendrils of worry wrapped around his ribs. “Hi,” Eddie said, brushing aside some of the hair that had fallen across Brian’s forehead. “Sounds like everything went well.”

Brian’s expression changed to a frown. “Is that what they said?” he said, his words muffled by all the gauze.

Uh oh…

Eddie pulled up a chair next to where Brian was reclined. “What happened?”

“The doctor wouldn’t give me my teeth,” Brian said indignantly. “They’re mine, why can’t I have them back?”

“Oh, I see,” Eddie said, trying not to smile. “You want me to punch him in the face?”

“What?! No!” Brian said, alarmed, then furrowed his brow. “Would you really do that?”

“No,” Eddie said gently, then lifted Brian’s hand and kissed his knuckles. 

“Okay good,” Brian said, settling back down with a sigh. “I just wanted to show Chris my teeth. I think he’d think it was cool.”

“He probably would, but that’s okay,” Eddie assured him.

“Let’s tell him the tooth fairy took them,” Brian said, looking pleased with his own genius idea.

“He’s 15 years old, Bri. I think he knows the tooth fairy isn’t-”

Brian tried to shush him before he could say it outloud, then groaned because it probably made his mouth hurt. 

“Alright, handsome, let’s go home,” Eddie said, helping him up. Brian immediately started to list to the side, but Eddie wrapped his arm securely around Brian’s waist, then guided Brian’s arm around his shoulders.

Brian let out a little giggle, then they carefully made their way out toward the parking lot.

They’d come in Brian’s car, figuring the Prius would be easier to get in and out of than Eddie’s truck. Eddie got Brian settled in the passenger seat and helped him with his seatbelt, then went over to the driver’s side.

“I’m so tired,” Brian whined. It was so strange coming from him. He never whined and so rarely complained about anything. “And my mouth hurts.”

“I know,” Eddie said, giving Brian’s thigh a reassuring squeeze. “We’re just gonna pick up your prescriptions and get home so you can rest.”

Luckily, the pharmacy closest to their house had a drive-thru, so Eddie picked up the meds quickly. Brian had dozed off in the passenger seat and Eddie had carefully reached over at a red light to recline the seat a bit so his head wouldn’t fall to the side. He didn’t want Brian to bump anything with his face. 

Eddie hated to do it, but he gently shook Brian’s shoulder when they got home. “Hey, sweetheart, let’s get you inside.”

Brian groaned as Eddie helped him out of the car, into the house, and into their bed, keeping him propped up.

“Will you eat some applesauce? I don’t want the pain meds to give you a stomach ache.”

“I just want to sleep,” Brian whined again.

“Just a couple bites,” Eddie said, opening the small container. “All you have to do is open your mouth.”

Brian let out an irritated sigh, but he opened his mouth like Eddie asked. Eddie managed to hide the pill in one spoonful of applesauce and once Brian swallowed it down. Once that was done, Eddie carefully put new, clean gauze into Brian’s mouth. 

“Alright, you can sleep now,” Eddie said gently. He helped Brian lay down on his back, putting pillows on either side of him so he didn’t try to roll onto his side in his sleep. Not that he’d feel it once the pain meds kicked in. 

“Stay, please?” Brian said, reaching out toward him. “You make me feel better.”

Eddie’s heart melted and he smiled. He took Brian’s hand and kissed his fingers, then settled carefully into bed beside him. Brian kept a hold of his hand and held it against his chest like Chris used to hold his beloved, worn out stuffed bear. 

“Thank you for taking care of me,” Brian said, his voice soft.

“Of course,” Eddie said, watching him drift off to sleep, his heart warm and full. “Getting to take care of you is a blessing.”

send me a hurt/comfort prompt!

[judymarch15]

For the hurt/comfort prompts, if it sparks joy: "You know I always have your back," for Maddie & Jee?

Okay @pluralityofaxes, this one got a little sad, but more emphasis on the positive and hopeful. I hope you like it. cw: cancer, childhood illness

Maddie watched while Jee sat in her hospital bed, tray in front of her so she could color one of the pages in her new coloring book. It had been 24 hours since her surgery and she was still exhausted, but restless like any child would be who had to spend this much time in bed.

She was wearing her favorite hat, knit with an extra soft yarn that had all the colors of the rainbow in it. Between Buck and his knitting group, Jee had been absolutely spoiled with hats to wear once her hair had started to fall out, a side effect of her chemotherapy. She’d asked for hats for all the other kids too and the knitting group had kept very busy as they happily filled her request.

Maddie and Howie had blamed themselves for not noticing something was off sooner. They’d been so busy - Howie stepping into the captain role and Maddie running dispatch all with a new baby at home. They hadn’t thought much about Jee’s tummy aches and chalked the weight loss up to age, losing ‘baby fat’. 

Then while giving Jee her bedtime bath, Maddie felt a firm lump in her daughter’s belly. Everything after that had been a whirlwind of tests before the diagnosis was made - Neuroblastoma.

The way the tumor was situated, her care team recommended chemotherapy before surgery. 

The pain of watching her child go through all of it was excruciating. On some level, she understood her parents better. She didn’t forgive them for their behavior, simply understood the weight on their hearts and the utter sense of helplessness, and the desire to take the pain away. 

Maddie knew she was lucky to have the support system she did. She was able to step away from work to focus on Jee’s care full time - Josh stepping in to cover her leave. Between the Lees, Athena, and May they had endless babysitters for Nash. Buck kept their fridge stocked with easy-to-heat meals. The Wilsons came by, Denny and Mara playing with Jee when she had the energy and just laying down to watch a movie with her when she didn’t. Hen and Karen provided shoulders to cry on for both Maddie and Howie when they needed it, and friendly distractions when it was all too much. Eddie was a pro at navigating paperwork and insurance, always willing to sit on hold for however long it took to speak to someone up the chain and challenge coverage decisions. Ravi and Harry would stop by to take care of yardwork and run errands. 

Jee had faced it all with bravery and a smile when she could. 

Maddie could see Jee’s energy starting to flag, so she moved over and sat on the edge of the bed.

“This is beautiful,” Maddie said, admiring Jee’s coloring work on the page depicting Bluey and Bingo playing with a balloon in their backyard. She’d added some of her own touches - a big bright sun in the sky and a couple flowers in the grass. 

Jee gave her a tired smile. “It’s for you, Mommy.”

Madde’s smile grew and she pressed a kiss to Jee’s forehead. “Thank you. I’ll put it on the fridge when we get home. Now, why don’t you get some rest.”

Jee didn’t argue, a sign of how exhausted she was. She settled back against her pillows and Madde pulled the blankets up around her, including an extra soft double-layer fleece one with tied edges that Denny and Mara had made for her. 

“When can we go home?” Jee asked.

“Another couple days.” “Couple isn’t a number,” Jee said, sounding suspiciously like her father.

“Two days,” Maddie amended, tucking Jee’s favorite stuffed elephant in beside her. 

“You’re here too?” Jee asked.

“I’m here. I’m not going anywhere,” Maddie assured her, stroking her cheek, then her arm. “You know I always have your back.”

“What?” Jee asked, her little brow furrowed in confusion. “I thought I was sick here?” She pointed at her stomach.

Maddie chuckled softly. “It just means I’ll always be here for you. Daddy too. And Nash.”

“And Uncle Buck and Mr. and Mrs. Lee and Mara and Denny and their moms and Ms. Athena and Ms. May and Mr. Josh and all of Daddy’s firefighters?”

“All of them too,” Maddie said, stroking Jee’s cheek, grateful for all of the wonderful people in her life who had become such a strong support system for their family. “We all have your back.”

Jee’s eyelids drooped heavily as she gave in to the pull of exhaustion. She drifted off to sleep with a smile.

send me a hurt/comfort prompt!

[judymarch15]

Hurt/Comfort prompts my beloveddddd

“I’m not leaving you here” with Buck and Sal

For my darling @sunnywithachanceofbi, featuring Buck and Sal from this universe (no you don't need any prior knowledge to read this little guy).

Sal had wanted to leave work the second Buck sent him the text that he wasn’t feeling well. The old Sal would have told his captain to fuck off and marched right out the door to take care of his man.

But he was the fucking captain now so he couldn’t just flip the bird to the crew and march out of there. He had to do the responsible thing and put someone else in charge and make sure things were good to go before he left. 

Maybe it was dramatic but Buck didn't get sick often, and when he did he tended to hide or downplay it. So the fact he’d reached out, unprompted, had Sal’s chest tight with worry.

“I’m home,” Sal called out when he walked into the apartment. 

He hadn’t wasted time changing out of his uniform and with how he’d been driving to get home as quickly as possible, he’d hoped if a cop did pull him over they’d let him off. First responder courtesy or some shit.

He didn’t hear any response from Buck and prayed it was because he was asleep. He checked Buck’s room and when he found it empty, his heart really started to race.

“Buck?” Sal called out.

There was a faint groan from the bathroom. Sal pushed in to find Buck in the bathtub, in his underwear and socks with no water. His face, neck, and chest were flushed with fever and the man looked exhausted.

“Oh, baby…” Sal said gently before he sat on the edge of the tub. He brushed the backs of his fingers over Buck’s hot cheek and frowned.

“I was gonna take a bath b-because everything hurts,” Buck started to explain, looking at Sal with sad, feverish eyes. “Then I got lightheaded taking my clothes off and…I decided to lay down in here.”

Sal nodded along, stroking Buck’s hair gently. He leaned into it like he was starved for the comfort of Sal’s touch. 

“Let’s get you back to bed,” Sal said. It was a place to start before he assessed Buck’s symptoms, if he’d taken medication, if he’d had anything to eat or drink in the last several hours…

“I can’t,” Buck said, closing his eyes with shame. “My arms and legs shake too much when I try to lift myself up.”

Sal bent down and pressed his lips to Buck’s hot forehead. “Don’t worry about it. I’ll lift you out and carry you.”

Buck opened his eyes and looked up at Sal. “I’m too heavy for that. J-just bring me a pillow and I’ll rest here.”

Sal gave him a look. “News flash - I know exactly how heavy you are. You think I can’t feel all 220 pounds when you’re bouncing on my dick?”

That drew a tired smile out of Buck, which helped calm the tension winding around his ribs. 

“Anyway, I’m a big strong fireman,” Sal said, puffing out his chest in another bid to get Buck to laugh. He didn’t seem to have another one in him, but he smiled. Sal brushed his fingers through Buck’s hair one more time, his curls damp with sweat.

“I’m not leaving you here, okay?” Sal said softly. 

“Okay,” Buck agreed with tears in his eyes.

Sal helped him stand, Buck’s body trembling with every movement. Sal lifted him out of the tub into a bridal carry. Buck’s arms looped loosely around his neck and his forehead burned against the side of Sal’s neck. 

Sal carried him to his bedroom instead of Buck’s, having already seen the way Buck’s sheets were twisted up and half falling off the mattress. He set Buck back on his own two feet, keeping him steady while he pulled back the bedding, then helped him into bed.

He had Buck give him a rundown of his symptoms, then took Buck’s temperature and frowned. If the medication didn’t bring it down he was dragging Buck to emergency, he didn’t care if Buck protested. He got Buck to drink a little Gatorade and eatsome crackers, then changed into shorts and a tee shirt before he crawled into bed with him. 

“You’ll get sick,” Buck protested weakly, already half asleep.

“Probably,” Sal said, getting comfortable as Buck rolled over and tucked against Sal’s side. He personally didn’t like all that contact when he had a fever, but he knew it soothed Buck. Sal was relieved to find Buck already felt a bit cooler to the touch.

“I’m sorry,” Buck mumbled while Sal gently scratched his scalp.

“Don’t be,” Sal said easily. 

He wanted to remind Buck that he wasn’t a burden. That every person who ever made him feel that way was a piece of shit, especially his fucking parents. And that Sal loved him more than he even knew he had the capacity to love anyone. 

But that was all too much. And it would probably just make Buck cry. Then Sal would either cry too or get horny about it or both.

“Just rest and get better so you can take care of my sorry ass when I catch whatever this is.”

Buck let out a soft laugh, shifting one more time to get perfectly comfortable with his head tucked into Sal’s neck, then fell asleep.

send me a hurt/comfort prompt!

[promptfairy]

𝐇𝐔𝐑𝐓 / 𝐂𝐎𝐌𝐅𝐎𝐑𝐓   ♡   𝐒𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐍𝐂𝐄 𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐑𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐒

    change any gendered language to your needs.  ♡

“   you  don’t  have  to  hide  your  tears  from  me .   ” “   you’re  doing  great ,   okay ??   i mean it .   ” “   you  are  so  strong .   ” “   please  don’t  ever  give  up .   ” “   i  will  always  believe  in  you .   ” “   why  do  you  always  think  you  have  to  do  everything  on  your  own ??   ” “   it’s  okay ,   i’m  here .   i’ll  always  be  here .   ” “   you’ve  always  been  strong  for  me .   let  me  return  the  favor .   ” “   just  listen  to  my  heartbeat ,   okay ??   ” “   come  on ,   take  a  deep  breath .   it’s  gonna  be  alright .   ” “   please ,   just  hold  me .   ” “   you  always  meant  the  world  to  me .   i’m  sorry  i  let  you  forget  that .   ” “   i  never  stopped  loving  you .   ” “   you’ll  feel  better  if  you  talk  about  it .   i’m  here  to  listen .   ” “   you’re  so  much  more  than  the  mistakes  you’ve  made .  ” “   i  forgive  you .   ” “   you  are  so  fucking  powerful .   ” “   i’m  not  leaving  you  here .   ” “   i  trust  you  more  than  anyone  else  in  this  universe .   ” “   it’s  okay  to  be  confused .   nobody  has  all  the  answers .   ” “   i’m  so ,   so  sorry .   you  didn’t  deserve  that .   ” “   healing  is  not  linear ,   but  it’s  always  moving  forward .   ” “   you  can  admit  that  you’re  hurting .   it’s  okay  to  not  be  okay .   ” “   hold  my  hand ??   ” “   you  are  my  home .   ” “   no  matter  what  anyone  else  says ,   you  are  so  important  to  me .   ” “   don’t  worry .   i’ll  protect  you .   ” “   shh ,   it  was  just  a  nightmare .   you’re  safe .   ” “   don’t  talk  about  yourself  like  that .   ” “   just  say  the  word .   you  know  i’d  do  anything  for  you .   ” “   you  are  loved .   ” “   i  just  need  a  hug .   ” “   i’ll  destroy  anything  that  so  much  as  thinks  of  harming  you .   ” “   don’t  ever  let  anyone  make  you  feel  ashamed  of  who  you  are .   ” “   you’re  not  alone .   you’re  stuck  with  me  forever .   sorry .   ” “   well ,   hello  sleeping  beauty .   you  fell  asleep  on  me .   ” “   if  you  don’t  take  your  butt  back  to  bed ,   i  will  carry  you  there  myself .   ” “   i’m  sorry  to  wake  you  up ,   but  i  really  need  someone  to  talk  to .   ” “   i  hate  seeing  you  like  this   …   please ,  let  me  help .   ” “   you  are   &   always  will  be  precious  to  me .   ” “   i  can’t  believe  that  asshole  said  that  to  you .   it’s  not  true ,   you  know .    ” “   you  want  me  to  punch  him  in  the  face  ??   ” “   you  deserve  every  good  thing  in  the  world .   ” “   you  know  i  always  have  your  back .   ” “   you  don’t  have  to  worry  about  anything ,   as  long  as  i’m  around .   ” “   stop  apologizing ,   okay ??   i’ve  already  told  you  i’ve  forgiven  you  a  hundred  times now .   ” “   don’t  beat  yourself  up  over  this .   be  kind  to  yourself ,   it’s  not  your  fault .   ”

[judymarch15]

In the mood to write some little hurt/comfort somethings. Send me an ask with some 9-1-1 characters (couple, trio, platonic, whatever) and a dialogue prompt from this list.

Filled Prompts:

Buck/Sal - "I'm not leaving you here."

Maddie & Jee - "You know I always have your back."

Eddie/Father Brian - "You want me to punch him in the face?"

Buck & Eddie - "I hate seeing you like this...Please, let me help."

[princessfbi]

▵ + Out of Office!

▵ pick a fic and I’ll tell you my favorite line

Out of Office

People didn’t get it. They didn’t want to. They didn’t see the work that went into protecting and growing what they had.  Buck was the love of Tommy’s life.  Buck was one of the greatest loves of Eddie’s.  But Tommy and Eddie loved each other, too. It was a different love, as it should be. It was understanding and safety and a shared history with sand and desert wind not many people would even begin to be able to relate to. The love he had for Tommy wasn’t rooted in his soul the way his love for Buck’s was. His love for Tommy was rooted in the ground beneath their feet; in the way Tommy’s arms around him felt like home. 

Send Me Fic Writing Asks

[judymarch15]

Sneak Peek Saturday 👀

Tagged by @nine-one-wanton Here is a little snippet of a Sal/Eddie 5+1 I’ve got cooking.

But tonight, Eddie had invited him in with confidence. He’d opened a bottle of wine and sat right up against him on the couch. He’d taken off Sal’s shirt first and then his own.

Sal was trying to keep his expectations in check but it was getting…harder.

Eddie reached for the button of Sal’s pants. “Is this okay?” he asked, brushing his lips over Sal’s jaw.

“Abso-fuckin’-lutely,” Sal said roughly, then cleared his throat. “I mean, if you’re sure.”

Eddie chuckled, his lips vibrating against the hinge of Sal’s jaw. “You don’t have to be so careful with me.” Eddie said, then kissed behind his earlobe. “I’d actually like it better if you weren’t.”

Sal liked the sound of that.

Tags for @frogsinflannel , @fairytalegonewronga03, @queermccoy, @corporatebanana , and anyone else who wants

[judymarch15]

A Reason to Celebrate

Sal Deluca/Eddie Diaz | 1722 words | Rated T

Summary: Sal's birthday is coming up and he isn't looking forward to it.

Read on AO3, excerpt below

Sal sat at the kitchen table, pointedly ignoring the repeated buzzing sound of text notifications coming from his phone, which was face down on the counter, over by the sink. He pushed his unsalted scrambled egg whites around on his plate and sighed at the dry wheat toast beside them.

What a depressing fucking breakfast.

But the doc had said his cholesterol was too high or some shit and he wasn’t getting any younger.

Like he needed the reminder.

“You know, you can turn the notifications off completely,” Chris said, glancing up from his cereal.

“Yeah but then I’ll never figure out how to turn them back on,” Sal said, forcing himself to eat a bite of eggs before they got cold and worse. He tried not to gag and washed it down with a swig of too-hot coffee that burned his tongue and the roof of his mouth.

Maybe that was the trick. He could burn his taste buds to shit, then he couldn’t tell how terrible everything tasted.

“Well, I can help if you want,” Chris offered, but Sal shook his head.

“Nah. Thanks though, kid. I’ll just wait it out. They’ll stop eventually.”

Chris shrugged and focused on his own phone, which Sal was pretty sure Eddie didn’t like him to do at the table while he was eating.

Sal hadn’t been living with them long and he was still trying to navigate what exactly his role was as far as Chris was concerned. He still kinda wanted the kid to like him, he supposed. But if it was one of his niblings he’d have snatched the phone and tossed it elsewhere by now.

Sal just deeply focused on gagging down his egg whites, bristling the more his phone buzzed.

“Chris, off your phone,” Eddie said as he walked into the kitchen.

Read the rest on AO3

[frogsinflannel]

PROMPT MEME BAYBEE

[frogsinflannel]

HELLO I MADE A PROMPT MEME AND EVERYONE'S INVITED !!! it's hot in the northern hemisphere, so let's MAKE THESE MEN SWEAT !!! do you like bucktommy? do you like buck/tommy/some other guy ??? do you like leaving prompts and sighing wistfully by your window [screen] waiting for someone to fill them ??? WELL.

[judymarch15]

Read on AO3

[wonderstruck]

If you see this you’re legally obligated to reblog and tag with the book you’re currently reading

[judymarch15]

Sunshine, a Swimming Pool, and Tequila

Buck/Eddie/Tommy | Rated E | 4,825 words

Turn Up the Heat BT+ Prompt Meme fill for @frogsinflannel

Prompt: Buddietommy silly drunk vacation sex !!!!!!! either established relationship or they’re just realizing things. bonus points for Tommy in the skimpiest suit possible and Eddie being like I Must Not Perceive the Bulge (and then perceiving it with his mouth later amirite)

Excerpt below. Read it all on AO3.

Eddie lay on a float in the pool, staring up at the blue sky through his Ray-Bans. He sighed happily.

It had taken a few days into vacation for him to fully relax. Buck and Tommy had seemed to settle into the routine a lot faster. While Eddie had woken up before the sun on the first morning, Buck and Tommy had stayed in bed all morning.

He’d wanted to relax. He just…didn’t know how. Eddie couldn’t remember the last time he’d been free of responsibility.

But after a few days of exploring the island, good food, and great sex - he’d finally found his groove.

Buck had put together an itinerary for their week. It wasn’t packed, thank god. Just organized. And today their entire plan was to hang around their rental house, swim in the pool, and drink cocktails. They had big plans to cook steak for dinner and that was about it.

Life was good.

Music started playing over the outdoor speakers - something fun and nostalgic from their younger years. Well, his and Buck’s anyway. Tommy was probably a few years into his army service when this song came out.

“I got it!” Buck said triumphantly, having been trying to connect to the Bluetooth all morning.

Eddie should have been suspicious when Buck went suddenly quiet. He couldn’t hear the slap of his bare feet on the pool deck over the music. All he heard was the shout, which didn’t give him enough time to prepare.

“CANNONBALL!”

A wave of water pushed Eddie’s float toward the other side of the pool while a huge splash soaked him entirely.

“Buck!” Eddie shouted. He sat up, straddling the float, legs dangling into the water. He put his sunglasses on his head and wiped his face.

Buck surfaced with a big grin, clearly proud of himself.

Eddie couldn’t really be mad. Not when Buck was so god damn cute. But he did smack his hand against the pool’s surface, splashing Buck in the face.

“Hey!” Buck sputtered. He narrowed his eyes at Eddie before the playful grin spread across his lips again.

“What are you-“

Buck launched himself onto Eddie’s float, submerging it. Eddie tumbled off and into the water.

When Eddie came back up Buck was right there, greeting him with a wet kiss.

“You’re so annoying,” Eddie said affectionately, sliding his arms around Buck’s neck.

Buck’s smile didn’t waver. “I love you too.”

Eddie laughed and shook his head, then gave Buck another kiss. Affection was so natural between them now it was hard to remember a time they weren’t like this.

Eddie wrapped his legs around Buck’s waist, easy to do as they were chest deep in the water. Buck gripped the outsides of his thigh while they kissed each other breathless.

“Hey,” Buck said while Eddie detoured down his neck. He smelled like sunscreen and pool water. He smelled like summer vacation.

Read the rest on AO3

[nine-one-wanton]

Now and Them

Ships: Eddie/Shannon/PFC Greggs; buddietommy

Summary: Eddie finds himself negotiating a potential polyamorous relationship with Buck and Tommy. Fortunately, relationship negotiations are just another skill he picked up in Afghanistan.

Tags: Dual timelines; polyamory; previous relationships; developing relationships; coming out; angst; denial of feelings; the canon deaths happen in the fic as well; grief/mourning; divorce; panic attacks; explicit sexual content; eventual happily ever after [for the throuple where.. they're all still alive.. (buddietommy)]

Chapter 8

Chapter Summary: Eddie struggles to support Buck and Tommy as their relationship falls apart, while also trying to come to grips with what is best for himself.