Professional Vampire

British. Sexy. What else is there to say, really? { IC blog style rp blog for an OC ran by Pirie! 18+ }

[juiceboxjiffy]

Rules n stuff:

🍅 !Mun must be 18+ to interact! - Younger MUSES are fine, but I expect the mun behind the muse to be over 18.

🍅 !DO NOT FOLLOW IF! - You support/roleplay any of the following: Pedophilia, incest, noncon, or anything else about that level of ick. *It's okay if it's in your character's backstory, this is more geared towards roleplaying it ACTIVELY*

🍅 !Reblogs preferred! - I'm not a fan of having to copy/paste every time I reply to someone. Reblogging is easier to me, but I will not make a fuss if you reply.

🍅 !IC DMS okay! - I encourage it! Alli is very talkative, and craves attention- as is the mun. OOC dms are also okay. :)

🍅 !Discord! - Feel free to ask me for it if we're mutuals! I love chat style rping on discord via tupper.

🍅 !Relationships! - I'm open to shipping with Alli if the characters have interacted enough! Please be aware OOC that Alli wants someone monogamous, and it's a conversation that would happen IC as well.

🍅 !Extra! - Alli is a character originally made by Klerrrn on TH. I have full commercial rights to him, and am working on a game about him and his world. I've been working on the lore and worldbuilding for 2+ years, it's very important to me. For this reason, I'm a little more conservative on lore stuff. If I see anyone stealing my ideas, I'll be forced to either retire the blog or make him even tighter lipped. Please be respectful to what I'm working on!!

🍅 !Tagging system! - My tw tags are [name] m. For example, pregnancy m.

🍅 !VTM! - I used to have a strict V:TM or W:oD DNI but I'm lightly removing it for now, just please follow the above do not follow rule if you are a blog from that universe.

🍅 !IC doesn't equal OOC! - However if I feel uncomfortable about how an IC interaction goes, I reserve the right to unfollow for my own mental stability.

[facts-i-just-made-up]

Ranking Vampire Blood Sources By Their Eroticism

Vampires can of course suck blood from any part of their victim, but what is the sexiest place to drink from? Here is a ranking of the hottest body parts to suck blood from, for a vampire*

The Neck

You can't go wrong with this classic. The neck has many nerves and some of the biggest blood vessels in the body. 8/10

The Inner Thigh

Need it hotter? Go for the femoral artery. The thigh is both delicious and soft and one of the best erogenous zones. 9/10

The Arm

It's an arm. It's not bad but it's not all that sexy. 7/10

The Butt

This depends on personal taste, no pun intended. The glutes can be plump and playful, but others may find the whole region dirty. 3-6/10

The Eye

The eyes are the windows to the soul, and bleed very well when punctured, but the pain level is far too cruel for any but the most extreme sadists of vampirekind. 2/10

The Fingertip

Unless your vampire is checking your blood sugar this just isn't very compelling. 3/10

The Ribs

Oh god yes. Ever nibble someone's ribs? Ever let them nibble yours? Imagine a vampyric feast on that sexy sexy ribcage. 10/10

The Renal Artery

When your body needs to clean your blood of toxins and other gross stuff, it sends that blood to the kidneys. The kidneys are the sewage filter of the blood and they're not even conveniently placed. Unquestionably the least sexy place for the human and vampire alike. 0/10 would not suck.

*Facts-I-Just-Made-Up does not condone drinking the blood of the living nor dead nor anything not prepared by culinary professionals.

[juiceboxjiffy]

New place has a really fuckin cool balcony it's like.. slightly covered. My fave thing on rainy nights 8)c

[juiceboxjiffy]

Blood doesn't freeze well and that fuckin sucks

[juiceboxjiffy]

@twotiime2: heyyyy! you're not dead!!

I'm not, naahhhhh. Had a breakdown, sat in bed for weeks. Better now though. >:)c ready for more mischief, and VERY horny about it.

[juiceboxjiffy]

>:3c

[disconoire]

First pass at a robot Yusuke for the au I'm messin around with... I think when I do the second pass I wanna definitely lighten the hair. Maybe? I usually use the Q art for hair color.. And maybe rework the glider idea. I dunno tho, I kinda like it.

If anybody has any suggestions... Hmu. And the drabble around this is here

[disconoire]

Next up in my littol persona series... Carmen. I really don't know why but the idea of basing her off sukeban was so heavy and I couldn't not do it. Probably inspired by Yuki from 13 sentinels, tbh. They kinda give me similar vibes.

Tbh this one might be my fave so far. Idk if anybody else will feel the same way though.

[grimkxttenn]

Does anyone want to suck each others tongue?

[leaslichoma]

Apparently in China peach wood (Along with the rest of the plant) is believed to have properties that repel evil spirits, a little similar to silver in European legends or iron for both European fae and West Asian/Middle eastern Jinn. Taoists sometimes keep swords made of peach wood because of this. This made me realize something. If you took a peach wood stick, and attached studs to it of both silver and iron you'd end up with a club or staff (or mace, flail etc.) that would have the weaknesses of many kinds of supernatural creatures while still retaining effectiveness as a normal weapon (peach is a hardwood and silver's poor edge retention doesn't matter for studs). You could even keep adding new stud materials to get something ridiculous that affects over 120 catalogued folkloric monsters. Since you just need a few little studs you could even get some really expensive materials like meteoric iron (a thumb tip sized meteorite can still cost like 10-20 bucks I think). I could somewhat feasibly make a weapon that affects every monster ever thought to walk the earth, from vampires and werewolves to jinn and jiangshi and even mankind.

[down-sizing-redux]

Club of Fuck That Supernatural Shit And Also Everything Else

[juiceboxjiffy]

{ im sick again :'( and also.. I just dont have muse for anything lately. Idk why. When im not feeling gross, im feeling manic- and that feeds itself into my fic and identity v. Ugh. }

[juiceboxjiffy]

Alright. Fuckin.. I did it.

[juiceboxjiffy]

Havin a fuckin hard time listing my flat. I just hover over the button for someone to come and check it out to list and I get upset.

Ugh. Fuckkkkk

[juiceboxjiffy]

Rise and grind... Coffee. For my son-ish.

[juiceboxjiffy]

@ilaliya: congratulations on becoming a grandparent :)

Thaaaanks <3 Noodle deserves more congrats than I do though. They were carryin 6 whole kittens for so long. Poor thing could barely walk by the end. And like.. They were goin through that labor shit for HOURS.

[ilaliya]

oh dear... in that case, a hearty congratulations and 'good job' to noodle. i am glad that the labor went well and all the kittens are in good health.

do they have names yet? :)

[juiceboxjiffy]

Gods no. Noodle is insistent I name them and I'm really bad at names. Sides... Fae kinda like. Name themselves. Then they name themselves again to keep their true name secret. The drama of it all. Snrk.

[ilaliya]

oh, of course :)

i would suggest nicknaming them in the way people who foster kittens do... but we all know that is how you end up with a permanent cat named spork.

i am sure they will be named in due time hehe

[juiceboxjiffy]

Yeah.. It's just a lot, y'know. Names have a lot of power and fuckin. So much responsibility to be the one handin that over. Bein an adult is enough of responsibility to last me my entire undead life.

I'll share pics for sure. >:)c

[juiceboxjiffy]

@ilaliya: congratulations on becoming a grandparent :)

Thaaaanks <3 Noodle deserves more congrats than I do though. They were carryin 6 whole kittens for so long. Poor thing could barely walk by the end. And like.. They were goin through that labor shit for HOURS.

[ilaliya]

oh dear... in that case, a hearty congratulations and 'good job' to noodle. i am glad that the labor went well and all the kittens are in good health.

do they have names yet? :)

[juiceboxjiffy]

Gods no. Noodle is insistent I name them and I'm really bad at names. Sides... Fae kinda like. Name themselves. Then they name themselves again to keep their true name secret. The drama of it all. Snrk.

[juiceboxjiffy]

Sooooooo

There's been so much shite that's been goin down. The biggest one, Noodle had their kittens. All... 6 of them. Like. Two weeks ago? Ehhh.. One and a half? Whatever. Same thing.

Anyway, I've been obsessed with them. Little wrinkly paws... Tiny and fuckin pathetic. I'm tellin ya. The cutest bloody things.

[mushroompollution]

aww, congrats!

[juiceboxjiffy]

I'll pass it along to Noodle. 8)c They deserve it way more. I just like.... Watched n shit.