Brandon was sitting beside you, playing a video game while you yawned and just leaned closer to his chest. He just rolled his eyes and continued playing. You noticed the tiny smirk on his face and you pushed him a little bit. He laughed and patted your head, “you look very interested,” was all he said, sarcastically. You just nodded and continued snuggling up to him, he grabbed the blanket and put it on top of you, covering you up. The noises of the tv seemed to get quieter and Dico’s smile seemed to get blurry as you fell asleep, really happy you were with him.
You woke up to see the rest of the guys there, “why are you even sleepy, you didn’t fucking wake up till like one pm,” Bam spoke to you, shaking his head. “Can never have too much sleep, you should know Margera.” Everyone laughed as he pouted, Dico was on the floor laughing. You just playfully slapped your best friend, looking at him in amusement. You leaned down, trying to help him off the floor. “Did you have fun down there, Deek?” Novak asked, with his eyebrow raised and a smirk. “Yeah, yeah, shut up Nudie Novak,” Dico responded, clearly not impressed.
“Wanna go somewhere?” He aimed the question at you. “Of course, let’s go,” you answered, ready to get the hell out of there. You loved the guys but you wanted to have alone time with your best friend. You both hopped in his red colored truck, he immediately turned on the radio. A very obvious eighties song was playing, and you recognized it. You both drummed to the beat, Brandon hit his fingers against the wheel when there was a stop sign or red light. You did an exaggerated electric guitar, listening to his laughter filling your ears. You arrived at a restaurant that wasn’t that popular. You both always ordered the same thing, in perfect sync that didn’t even have to be practiced. If you didn’t order the same thing he would try to steal your food, and he tended to be very sneaky. He kicked you from under the table, you hit him back, both hits from each of you were soft, just joking around.
The food came a little while later, both of you drinking your beverage. Dico had a root beer. He drank it up like it was the best thing in the world. You smiled at him, both of you eating your meals and chatting. It was peaceful. Your legs were still very close to one another, almost thigh to thigh, but you failed to notice. You were too distracted by the weirdo next to you, gulping down his food. You especially didn’t care. He went to lick his messy hands off when you shook your head. “Don’t even think about it go wash them,” you stared him down. He just chuckled, walking to the bathroom located at the back of the restaurant. He got back quickly, “did you wash them?”you questioned, grabbing his hands and inspecting them, they looked clean. “Yes, and I even used soap and water,” he said, mocking your voice. You paid the bill, not even letting Bran try, he always wanted to pay. He wasn’t going to this time, you made sure of it. He did pay the tip, he wanted to pay something and that was the agreement.
Getting back in his car, the radio was turned on again, this time the song sounded like shit. You both stared at it in disgust, looking at each other and laughing, “glad we’re on the same page dude,” Dico told you, turning it off quickly. “Goddamn that hurt my ears it literally sounded like shit,” he laughed at your response, popping in a cd he had in the center console. “I know right,” he said back. We both relaxed with the song he put on. He parked the car back at his house, “do you think these motherfuckers are dumb enough to still be here?” you asked him, looping his arm in yours. He just grinned “I don’t doubt it.”
You opened the door to see Bam on the couch, with the remote in his hand, Novak sitting extremely close to him. Rake was in the chair, Ryan laid in the floor, a laughing Raab beside him. Obviously there wasn’t enough seating. Dico and you both sat next to each other, on the only spots left on the couch. “Took you two dipshits long enough,” Bam looked at us. “did you pick out a movie dickweed?” Brandon asked Bam. All Bam did was point at the tv, staring at us with a blank expression, “Obviously not,” you held in your laughter, he’s so dramatic sometimes. Dico nudged me, pointing to the dvds, “pick one, it’s your choice,” he told you. You got up, searching through the movies, finding his favorite Star Wars movie, The Empire Stirkes Back, pushing it in the DVD player.
Bam hated Star Wars, so did the rest of the guys, but Dico loved it and so did you. Both of you talking about the love the two of you shared for Boba Fett. Bam just sighed, talking to Novak, ignoring the movie already. You and Brandon were very close to one another. The movie started and you were already hoping for Boba Fett to come on screen. Knowing that wasn’t for a little while. When the part finally came, Dico made a hilarious voice impression of him, but complimenting him at the same time. You got up to get snacks and asked if Bran wanted some, “hell yeah,” was all he said as you made your way to the kitchen, grabbing a bunch of snacks. Sitting back down you handed some to him. He thanked you and started munching loudly. You just laughed and shook your head, not shocked at all.
It was getting late when Bam chose the movie this time, choosing a movie with Jason Lee as he went on about him being a skater. You could tell Dico wasn’t that into it as he fidgeted with his fingers. You watched around half of the film, Bran just staring at you for most of it. “Wanna step outside?” he asked, already getting up and walking out the door, you followed quickly. There was a light rain but you didn’t care. He pulled out a cigarette and just puffed on it. You leaned against him slightly, refusing to stop being close to him. He passed it to you but you shook your head, giving him a look. He continued until a quarter of it was gone. “I want to get buzzed,” you mentioned, wanting a drink of liquor. He just laughed, telling you he didn’t want to go anywhere, you didn’t either. He didn’t have any beers in his house at the moment so it basically was impossible to get one. You just huffed, not angry just disappointed. He patted your back, something he did when he wanted to be affectionate. “We can get absolutely wasted tomorrow,” he said, telling you that the both of you were taking a trip to the liquor store.
You put your head on his shoulder, he kissed your cheek, smiling down at you. You looked at his lips, then back at his eyes. Afraid to go an extra step and what it would mean. He didn’t seem to care as he held your face, kissing you roughly. You gladly kissed him back, wanting to taste every inch of his lips. Your lips moved together quickly. The sexual tension had been happening for a while. Friends don’t do the things you guys do. You’re surprised it didn’t happen sooner. You stopped kissing, he just kissed your neck and jaw, giving you light kisses. He pulled you back inside, your hands already in each other’s again. The movie was still going, Bam was laughing at the scene unfolding. You and Dico just talked softly, not wanting the guys to hear your conversation. Somehow you knew it would never be the same between you. You didn’t know where it was going, you just knew you loved him. The wide smile that you both shared about the other didn’t lie.
Hey everyone 🫣. i quit my job bc it was actually the worst thing i’ve ever experienced ever but last night i felt creative again for the first time in 7 months and I wrote a little something. Criticism is appreciated. I want to transition to more scary short stories? but ill still take requests if anyone wants anything jackass related. Anywho enjoy:
Unknown Party Guest
Since it was so long ago it felt like a dream and I was so sure it was. I was at a relatives house for a family party. I remember the drive was pretty long I slept in the car for most of the trip. We very rarely ever had to drive this far but maybe as a kid it feels longer than it really is. The party was nice for whatever the occasion was. We sat outside at some round tables listening to music and when it got dark these lights turned on. They were all over the backyard lighting it up perfectly. My parents were on the dance floor or the made up one and I sat with my cousin. I was getting tired but I didn't want to miss out on anything. I sat and watched everyone having fun. I glanced over at my cousin who moved his head to the right quietly saying "lets go" or "follow me". Never one to question my slightly older cousin I shrugged and stood up and followed him. He walked over to this girl around our age. I didn't notice her before. So many questions ran through my mind like "Who is this?" and "Where did she come from?" My cousin seemed interested in her. I was more confused. As we walked closer to her I noticed her outfit. It was way too cold to be wearing a dress. She said she was the neighbor and pointed to the huge house next door. It was Victorian style house. She took us on a path down the hill. There weren't any fences and on the other side of the path was a forest. As we walked towards her house she pointed to the window where her room was. The house looked old and run down but it seemed rude to comment on that. I kept turning around to make sure I could still see my family outside. After a while of feeling uncomfortable with this girl I decided to go back. My stomach felt uneasy and I was growing more and more anxious the closer we got to the house. I made a few comments to my cousin and he brushed them off, until finally telling me to just go. I rolled my eyes and turned back around to the party again. When I turned back to tell him to come with me they were gone. And I was alone on this dirt trail and nobody was outside anymore. I ran as fast as I could back and rushed into the house. Everyone looked at me like they just saw a ghost. The silence was broke when my dad finally said something, "We've been looking for you for five years...where were you?"
You’re Fucking Disgusting (Brandon DiCamillo x GN!Reader) [Smut] (VLB)
This was meant to be a smut drabble but it became just a little too long to qualify so now it’s a full length fic. This is pulled directly from that episode of Viva La Bam where the boys get odd jobs to pay off the heating bill. Basically you come to the bakery instead of April and flip out when you see what Dico has gotten up to. Then you go off to the bathroom with him to clean him off and end up sucking his dick. Enjoy.
Note: I’m aware that since this was for a TV show there would be cameras everywhere, but I don’t mention any at all cuz that would kill the flow.
Warnings: Cursing, Smut (Blowjob)
@asskickedbygirl tagging you as always
@ckygetsjobs figured you’d wanna see this
“You’re fucking disgusting, Brandon.”
It was a phrase that seemed to come out of your mouth a lot whenever you hung out with your boyfriend, Dico. He’d burp in your face, or loudly fart while sitting on your couch, or tell an absolutely riveting story about his bowel movements, or cover himself in a mysterious liquid and then tackle you to get it all over you. No matter where the two of you were or who was around, you could always be certain that Dico had some kind of gross trick up his sleeve.
This situation was no different.
Bam, Dico, and the rest of the boys had been working various jobs throughout the week for the newest episode of Viva La Bam, and on this particular day, Dico, Ryan and Raab had gotten a job at a bakery. April had sent you down to said bakery to pick her up some pastries and to see how the three boys were doing; you had expected to see something funny, like Dico throwing muffins at Raab or wearing a stupid little apron and frosting cupcakes or something like that, but nothing could have prepared you for what you actually saw. It was a scene straight from hell.
Dico was laying on one of the prep tables in the baking area, legs up in the air and head resting on a tray of gingerbread cookies as Raab pretended to shave frosting off of his chin with a baking tool. The floor was covered in grease, crumbs and odd stains littered the entire room, and Raab and Dico were absolutely filthy; their white baker uniforms were smeared with chocolate sauce and white frosting, and dozens of tiny pieces of gingerbread were stuck to Dico’s face and clothing, making him look like some kind of cookie-creature hybrid (or, one could say, a Cookie Monster). You stared at the two men in silent horror for a moment, not sure how to react, and then the words came out: “….you’re fucking disgusting, Brandon.” Dico grinned, unfazed, and you glanced around the room again, taking in the absolute mess they’d single-handedly created. “You two are so fired.”
Dico immediately took on a slightly mocking tone, making light of the entire situation. “Get jobs, don’t get jobs! Jeez, babe, make up your mind!” You shook your head in disbelief, not even sure what to do. April hadn’t prepared you for this. Ryan had put the pastries you’d asked for in a bag by this point and was trying to hand it to you, but you couldn’t take your eyes off of the two idiots in the backroom. One of whom you were literally dating. “Ryan…why did I ever agree to let that man be my boyfriend?” Ryan shrugged, looking like he would have rather been anywhere else at that moment. “I don’t know. I hope April’s not planning on stopping by, though, cuz if she sees them like this she’s gonna freak out.” You grimaced. “Yeah, I know. She sent me here on her behalf, but if I take too long she might come by.” You turned back to look at Raab and Dico again; Raab was dropping orange jelly into Dico’s open mouth, and Dico was obnoxiously slurping it up.
“You guys seriously need to clean this up before your boss gets back.” Ryan shook his head with a look of disgust. “I didn’t make one ounce of that mess! They can shove it up their ass and clean it up themselves!” You shot him a look, glancing over at your boyfriend again to see that he was taking big gulps of milk straight from the bottle and letting it dribble out of his mouth like a white waterfall. “Jesus Christ, Brandon, are you nuts?” Dico made a series of weird noises, laughing with Raab about how worked up you were, and then he slammed the bottle of milk down onto the table, spilling it all over himself and further adding to the mess as he pointed at you emphatically. “You’re insane.” You threw up your hands, utterly defeated, and walked through the doorway of the baking room to get closer to your boyfriend and Raab. “Well, guess our job here’s just about done, isn’t it?” You ignored Dico’s smartass remark and cupped his face in your hands, pulling him down to look at you with a deadpan stare. “Brandon.”
He grinned, still not taking the situation with a single ounce of seriousness as a glob of jelly fell off of his hat. You picked up a napkin from the table and pulled his face closer to you, trying to wipe off some of the frosting from his face. “You look like a Jackson Pollock painting if it was made out of cookies and frosting.” Dico laughed, his gaze softening just the slightest bit as he let you attempt to (and fail to) clean some of the cookie crumbs off of his face. His face was caked with so much frosting that bits of the napkin came off and stuck to his cheeks, and after a moment or two you threw the napkin aside in frustration and grabbed Dico’s hand, leading him out of the little baking room and towards the bakery’s bathroom. The bathroom had one toilet and one sink, with no stalls or anything like that, so you pulled him inside and locked the door behind you. “Wow, locking the door? Didn’t realize you came here just to try and fuck me, babe, you could have just said that when you got here.” You rolled your eyes.“No way in hell am I fucking you right now, Dico, you’re covered in chocolate stains and jelly.”
He shrugged, leaning against the sink as you pulled some paper towels out of the dispenser and wet them under the faucet, grabbing his face once again to wipe the cookie crumbs off his cheeks. “Why not? Everything on my body right now is totally edible, you could always just give me a tongue bath. Like cats do.” He suggestively raised his eyebrows at you, and you tried to force back your smile. He was annoyingly charming when he wanted to be. “Tempting.” You took his hat off, tossing it aside (it was basically ruined from all the sugar on it) and cleaning the frosting out of his hair. Ten paper towels later, you’d finally managed to get most of the stains off of his face and neck and out of his hair, but his clothes were still totally covered and there wasn’t much you could do about that. “Well, at least some of it’s cleaned up. Guess you’ll have to wear those nasty clothes on the car ride home.” Dico shrugged, not the least bit upset about this, which wasn’t at all surprising given how far he was always willing to go for the sake of ridiculous jokes like this.
“I could handle sitting in the car like this much easier if you gave me a blowjob first.” You shot him a look. “You honestly think I should suck your dick after the mess you just made?” He nodded with complete confidence. “I do, actually.” You stood there for a moment, staring at him as you tried to figure out a retort that would help you win this conversation, but you quickly realized that there wasn’t one. Dico had zero shame when it came to these kinds of situations, so whether you agreed to the blowjob or not, he wasn’t gonna be the least bit affected by your annoyance towards his behavior. As long as something was funny to him, he didn’t care how you reacted to it. After a moment, you rolled your eyes, the corners of your lips turning up as you resisted the urge to smile. “I shouldn’t be doing something nice for you right after what you just did, but you know what? I’m going to anyway, because dating you has severely affected my decision-making skills.” Dico grinned, looking slightly surprised that you were actually going for it, and he pointed down at the floor in front of him. “You know what to do, boss.” You chuckled at the nickname, getting down on your knees in front of him and moving to unbutton and unzip his chocolate-stained, cookie-coated jeans.
His boxers were stained with frosting, which was kind of funny, and you laughed as you reached inside them to pull out his half-hard cock, licking a stripe across the head teasingly and pulling away in bewilderment. “Did you fuck a cupcake before I got here? Your dick tastes like sugar.” Dico laughed and pushed your head forward with the slightest hint of impatience. “What, you’re not a big fan of sweets? Just suck it, babe, maybe my cum will taste like frosting.” You playfully rolled your eyes and took the tip back into your mouth, swirling your tongue over the head to lap up the salty (and slightly sweet taste). Dico grabbed at your hair with one of his (thankfully clean) hands, getting a nice grip so he could pull your head down a little further on his shaft as he grabbed at the counter of the sink with his other hand to keep himself steady. He leaned his head back against the wall, occasionally looking down at you with that smug little smirk on his face as you took his cock all the way into your mouth, sucking in your cheeks and obscenely slurping on his shaft.
The head of his cock rubbed against the inside of your cheek, and he let out a low groan, pushing your head down even further so his tip hit the back of your throat, nearly making you gag. You shot him a warning look, pulling your head back off a bit so you wouldn’t choke. He grinned in a way that was half apologetic and half amused. “Sorry.” You playfully rolled your eyes at how little he actually sounded sorry; you were 99% certain he did that kind of thing on purpose just to annoy you. You pulled your mouth even further off of his cock so just the tip was still inside, suckling on it with enough force to make his grip on your hair tighten. You wanted to grab at his shirt or his jeans to steady yourself, but it was still stained and coated with cookie crumbs and chocolate, so you resisted the urge, busying your hands with rubbing and grabbing at his balls as you wrapped your lips around his tip and slurped up his precum from the slit. “Fuck, there you go.” You could tell he was getting close to cumming, so you took his cock all the way back into your mouth and sucked on the shaft with twice as much enthusiasm.
Dico cursed under his breath, slamming his head back against the wall of the bathroom as he came down your throat with a loud groan, thrusting his hips foreword and pushing your head as far down as he could. It made your eyes water a little bit, but you ignored it and let him finish, swallowing his cum and gently pulling your mouth off his dick as he leaned back against the wall to catch his breath. He tucked his softening cock back into his boxers, laughing when a massive piece of cookie came off his jeans and landed on the floor, and then he helped you to your feet with a grin. You brushed off your knees and smoothed out your clothes, moving to do to the same to Dico before you remembered that he was absolutely filthy and you stopped yourself. “As soon as we get home, you’re gonna throw those clothes in a trash-bag and take a long shower.” Dico rolled his eyes as he leaned down to give you a quick kiss. “Yeah yeah yeah, I know. You’re getting in the shower with me though.” You laughed. “I don’t need a shower, Dico.” Dico’s grin widened, and he picked up a jelly glob from his shirt and smashed it into your hair, making your mouth drop open in shock. “Dico, what the fuck!” He just laughed, moving to open the door to the bathroom. “Now you need one. Let’s go.” You shook your head in disbelief, mostly annoyed but also slightly amused by his antics. “You’re fucking disgusting, Brandon.”
Summary: You ask Raab to be your fake boyfriend for your friends wedding since your ex will be there.
A/n: I will be making a fake relationship fic for everyone bc its one of my fave tropes so look out for those they should come out fairly quickly since I finished this one in a day.
Warnings: Swearing, flirting, fake relationship
Y/n stared down at the invitation in their hand. It was to a wedding, their best friends wedding. They absolutely had to go no questions. The only thing stopping them was the fact that Y/n’s ex would be their and probably with their new partner.
They had the same friend group so it wasn’t out of the ordinary to see each other often at events. It was more of an inconvenience. They didn’t end the best either but they’re civil and they never cause any problems or make things awkward for their friends.
Y/ns best friend mentioned bringing someone as their date. Some “eye candy” as she worded it. This was probably the best solution to their problem, Y/n would be more focused on their date than their ex. The only thing that sucked was their were zero candidates.
Y/n’s love life hasn’t been too exciting and no one interested them in the slightest. So with no other options Y/n called a close friend in different circle, “Bam I need to ask you a favor”
Bam had known Y/n for a while and knew them well enough to know the issues with their ex. So he was more than happy to help, the only thing was he happened to be busy that weekend. He told them not to worry about it and he’d set it all up. This wasnt very settling especially because he hung up right after.
About an hour later he called back saying he found Y/n a date. When they asked who, Bam hesitated before answering “Raab Himself” Y/n didn’t really know Raab all that well. It was a shocker that they even knew Bam. It was either Raab or no date at all so they took what they could get.
Before the wedding Bam said it’d be a good idea to hang out with Raab more so it wasn’t awkward and more believable. So, three days a week they would hang out and talk, getting to know each other day by day.
There were a few things that Y/n learned about him that kinda of surprised them. Like how smart Raab actually was, they never thought he was completely dumb but the things he did for fun were questionable. He knew a lot of random things that were pretty interesting. They also learned how funny he was especially one on one. Daab was able to read Y/n and figure out what their sense of humor was fairly quickly.
Raab also learned a lot about Y/n. Under the smart ass and bored demeanor they were actually really sweet and hilarious. It was only obvious if you looked closely. And of course all about their friend group and ex.
The wedding was in a few days and Y/n was beyond nervous. For multiple reasons but of course the thought of seeing their ex was the main issue and how believable it’d be with Raab. The plane ride there didn’t ease any nerves they had either.
“Are you scared of heights or something?” Raab asked as they boarded the plan. Y/n shook their head, “No but I’ve never been on a plane before” Laughter filled their ears and they turned around to face Raab, “Shut up” Which only made him laugh more.
The plane ride wasnt so bad and it was pretty relaxing. Even with the turbulence it wasn’t bad at all. When they did get scared though, because that was inevitable, Raabs poor arm was squeezed to death. He gave the okay but Y/n couldn’t help but feel bad.
The destination was Hawaii so it was a pretty long flight from Pennsylvania. They had off and into another plane in L.A. but that flight wasnt very long. When they finally landed jack lagged was an understatement. The gorgeous state would have to be admired the next day because both of them were too tired to anything.
The hotel had two beds and were neatly made. Raab couldn’t wait to jump on the bed and ruin it. Y/n watched him as he threw the pillows around and messed with the comforter and sheets laughing, “You’re such a kid”
In the morning, they woke up early and got ready to explore the island before going to the wedding rehearsal and then the wedding the next day.
Y/n and Raab both spent time down at the water all day laying out in the sun and drinking. Completely and entirely relaxed. Raab, of course, started building sand castles and messing around in the water. He even dumped a bucket of water all over them. They both started wrestling in the water. Surprisingly he was stronger than they thought and he pushed them into the water.
After most of the day at the water, they made their way to the rehearsal. It was a little boring but Raab made it enjoyable by whispering jokes and making fun of everyone. Y/n tried to hide their smile and cover their mouth in an attempt to silence the laughter that almost escaped their lips.
Since they were in front of Y/n’s friends and everyone else who would be attending the wedding, which including their ex, they had to be more physical. Which was already discussed and they both were okay with a little P.D.A. Everything was on the table except kissing on the lips. The cheek and forehead was fair game. So the entire rehearsal he had his hand around their waist or interlocked with their hand.
It felt like an eternity when it was finally over. Y/n’s best friend rushed over and was introduced to Raab. “I see you brought some eye candy” They winked. “Sort of. Raab is kind of my boyfriend. Its still unofficial but yeah we’re together just not exclusive.”
Y/n was then asked a million questions to which Raab came up with the answers to pretty quickly. They didn’t have to really lie about how they met but everything else would be. Like how long they’ve been dating to which he responded, “A few months which is why we never told anyone. It’s still so new” After the interrogation it was pretty believable. Even Y/n started to believe it.
Y/n’s friends were all going to the club and begged Y/n and Raab to go with them to get to know him better, with no reason not to they went back to the hotel to get ready. Knowing their friends they grabbed a few going out fits. Raab was more casual and only brought something nice for the wedding, which April had to force him to do.
The club was packed but it wasn’t long before they spotted the group of friends at a table ordering bottles. “Y/n!” They both said their hi’s to everyone and sat down in the booth. Before another interrogation would happen, Y/n grabbed Raab’s hand and took him to the dance floor, after a few shots of course.
Y/n would normally dance around and sing but it might be a little off not to dance on him like every other couple in the club. So that’s what they did. A few whistles from the table could be heard from the table making the both of them laugh.
“Are you having fun?” Y/n asked yelling into his ear. Raab nodded with a huge grin on his face. He came off as the party type and for the most part he was. Going out and drinking had always been his thing but he would like to just lay with Y/n and talk some more. It was obvious to him that it was feeling more real than fake, especially if he was ready to give up the party scene for them. By the end of the night they were both drunk and made their way to the hotel room. It wasn’t going to be fun getting ready with a headache and nausea.
***
Y/n woke up to Raab humming in the shower. Glancing at the clock to see it was only eleven. A perfect time to wake up. It was shocking to see him up so early. You didn’t have to know Raab to know he was a deep sleeper and enjoyed sleeping in.
Getting ready wasn’t as bad as either of them thought. Neither one of them had a raging headache and they both were in a pretty good mood. They both had on their best outfits by two, clearly taking their time to get ready since the ceremony wasn't until four. To kill some time they went down to the lobby to eat something. They played rock paper scissors to see if they should order in or just walk down stairs. Raab sadly lost but Y/n promised they’d order in Sunday since they probably would be hungover worse than last night.
The food was really good and they ate as much as possible since it'd be a little while before dinner and the reception. They talked some more and bam was brought up. Y/n asked how they met and wasn’t surprised they knew each other in high school since they were similar in a few ways. But it was a little shocking they grew closer when he got kicked out. Normally that made people grow apart.
Y/n heard a few CKY memories and talked about the appearance on Jackass and how Bam was gonna have his own show, which he was pretty excited to be apart of. They found themselves admiring him and listening intently to him talk about everything that came to his mind.
Everything about the ceremony was beautiful. From the decorations to the atmosphere. Y/n’s best friend looked great and so excited to marry their partner. It wasn't very long but it was perfect just the way it was. They both said their I do’s and ran off to the banquet hall to eat dinner and have some cake. Everyone else was behind them.
As everyone walked in waiter began putting plates of food onto tables. Y/n and Raab sat next to each other at a table with their friends. Y/n’s ex and their partner sat with them. It was slightly awkward but Raab paid no attention to the weird looks he got from them whenever he said something. Instantly the group liked Raab for this because it showed confidence in himself and their “relationship”.
After eating making small talk and their plates being cleaned up. It was time for a toast. And Y/n of course had a speech ready. When everyone said their speech the music began to play and the newly weds had their special dance. As the song ended a upbeat song played right after and Raab instantly stood up and grabbed their hand, taking them to the dance floor.
He was not the best dancer and he looked like a complete dork, but it was funny to watch and dance next to him. They both laughed and he wrapped his arms around Y/n.
Y/n looked up at him and smiled, wrapping their arms around his neck while his hands met their waist. "I'm glad you’re here with me”
“I’m glad you agreed to bring me”
They continued to dance and it crossed their mind that this wasnt going to last forever. Sure they’d continue to be friends but Y/n didnt want to pretend to be with him. They wanted it to be real. For the past month Raab and Y/n have been around each other just for this wedding. Deciding to get to that later, Y/n lived in the moment with him dancing and having fun.
Raab had felt the same since they started hanging out with them and planned on telling them later tonight.
The newly weds ate their cake and smashed it in each other faces. Pictures and videos were taken of every moment. Y/n grabbed a two slices and gave the other to Raab. They sat down eating and made small talk, too tired to talk about anything else.
“Wanna get going soon?” Y/n asked and he nodded his head.
It didn’t take long before they both quietly left without anyone seeing them. Raab held their hand and ran to the nearby beach. They both took off their shoes and ran onto the cold sand, walking along the beach hand in hand. Which they didn’t need to but it was almost habit at this point. Raab stopped and turned them to face him. He clearly had something to important to say so Y/n waited for him to say it.
“I don’t want to pretend to be with you. I want to actually be with you” It was blunt straight forward and he didn’t beat around the bush at all. To have him feel the same surprised them.
“I want that too” It was a moment before they could speak the words they’ve been wanting to say.
“Good. Now I can do this” His hand rested below their jaw and pulled them in for a kiss. Y/n kissed back and wrapped their hands around their neck.
It was the perfect weekend and it’d be even better when they got back to Pennsylvania.
Summary: Raab and Dico work at a retail store for the day.
Work was going by as slow as ever. Not too many customers were in the store and the clothes were as neat as possible. There was nothing to do besides walk around and greet anyone who walked by and to touch up whats already been fixed a thousand times.
Y/n walked toward the cash register dragging their feet. “Its only been two hours!” Their coworker laughed and hung up a few hangers on the rack behind them “At least your break is right now I still have another hour”
“That’s true” They said before wandering to the break room. For the next fifteen minutes Y/n sat down and read a magazine, drinking from their cup of water every so often. It was a enjoyable break.
When they got back there was commotion in the store. Two guys were talking and laughing loudly with the manager. Y/n only caught every other word because they were still too far away. It sounded like they wanted a job.
“Y/n!” The manager called them over. Slightly embarrassed they walked up to them and asked what was going on. Of course recognizing them almost immediately. The manager explained that these guys were gonna work for a day or two for the show they were on and they needed extra cash for the heating bill. Y/n stood there wondering why this involved them and quickly found out when they were told to “show them the ropes”
“Im Dico” He stuck out his hand. “Y/n” They replied shaking his hand.
“I’m Raab” He awkwardly waved. Dico looked down and shook his head before asked what they’re supposed to do first.
“I guess just help me fix any hangars and put these clothes on the racks away” It was what was normally done and they definitely needed the extra hands.
The manager went back to the back room to do some paperwork and thats when the boys started acting out. Raab ran around the entire store running his fingers through the clothes, dropping some every few steps. Dico would sneak up behind customers and talk loudly into their ear startling them.
“Oh my God! Can you guys act like normal people?!” Y/n was freaked out because they knew they’d have to pick up the mess.
“No” Raab said simply before running around the store again like a kid.
When the racks were finished and the clothes were all hung up neatly, the manager asked Dico if he could help move some crates in the back. His eyes widened slightly and he nodded his head. Raab followed them into the back to watch.
Dico was introduced to the little machine that moved the crates of clothes and he immediately fell in love with it. His mind starting racing and he thought of about a million hilarious things to do with this machine.
“Alright! Ya think you can handle that?” The manager asked him. Apparently he had explained what to do but Dico and Raab didnt listen to a single thing that was said.
“Yeah absolutely” Dico answered. With that the manager walked away and left him to it.
“Raab stand on one of the legs and ill lift you up” He talked quietly. Raab held in his laugh and did it. Dico put the key in the machine and turned it on. It was pretty simple to use the lift could only go in two directions. Dico moved the stick up and Raab started to go in the air. “Holy shit!”
They both took turns using the lifter and messing around with it. As they played with it Dico got the genius idea to take it out to the front of the store with Raab sitting on one of the legs.
As he drove it to the front and through the backdoors surprisingly unsuspected, he raised Raab higher. Customers looked at them in total shock. When Y/n and their coworker noticed their jaws were on the floor. Raab sat there waving like a princess on a float driving through a parade. His smile was wide and he looked like he was enjoying every second of this.
Everything was going great until the manager walked out and saw it all, plus the camera footage from earlier. “Get the fuck out of here!” It was so rare to see them so mad but It was completely valid.
Before getting thrown out Dico walked over to Y/ n handing them a small piece of paper, “Hope I didnt scare you off. Call me sometime”
Ok ok ill write a fic on this but it just crossed my mind like what if Dico and Raab worked where I work for the CKY get jobs episode and it would be so funny. Like I have so many thoughts because it really would be chaotic. them doing anything together is chaotic in all fairness.
NSFW Alphabet: Chris Raab/Raab Himself (CKY/Jackass/Viva La Bam)
I was super excited to write this! I adore Raab, he’s so fucking adorable. Again, the cut is before the GIFS for these alphabets now cuz tumblr was glitching every time I tried to put the cut directly above the actual alphabet. As usual, these are much quicker and easier for me to write than regular fics, so I’m sorry that these tend to come out before previously requested stuff. Enjoy :)
A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)
Any aftercare that happens after sex is given to Raab by you, not vice versa. You always take on the dominant role; I can’t even picture him being in charge or punishing you or doing anything like that, partially cuz he’s more submissive but also partially cuz he’s just too sweet to do anything that would hurt you. For Raab, the aftercare that you give him is usually more along the lines of “praising him for being a good boy, getting him a snack and cuddling under the covers with him” than “kissing any bruises and making sure he’s okay”, as you rarely (if ever) punish Raab or get rough enough to cause him any kind of pain. He also doesn’t really need to be reassured about anything because you never really degrade or humiliate him. He’s just so sweet and so eager to please you that it’s hard to say or do anything mean to him. He’s always on his best behavior and does anything you ask him to, so there’s never any reason to get mad at him or to warrant punishing him unless you purposefully set him up to do something that allows you to punish him. A typical aftercare session with Raab consists of you cuddling him, rubbing his back, stroking his hair, telling him how good he was for you and how pretty he was, and then getting him a snack and turning on a movie or show to watch together. He’s usually a little tired but always in a good mood and eager to be cuddled or spooned.
B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)
I feel like Raab would just be so grabby and touchy and affectionate that he’d have a hard time picking a favorite part of you, but there’d definitely be special attention given to your lips, cheeks and neck. They’re his favorite parts to shower with kisses cuz they’re so soft and so close to his face so he can easily just press kisses to them while you’re having sex. He also really likes when you’ve both just showered and he can bury his face in your neck and smell your body wash. You can pick whatever part of him to be your favorite, but you’ve got to admit that he’s got the cutest smile ever (and gorgeous teeth??).
C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)
Raab would try his hardest to be clean with his cum and not make a mess, but he’d absolutely fail. He can’t help it, his orgasms kind of sneak up on him and he barely has time to aim his cock away from you before he cums. His loads are pretty big and pretty wild, and if he gets to pick where he cums, he’s probably gonna pick your chest or your inner thighs. If he really doesn’t wanna inconvenience you, he’s just gonna cum on himself (his belly or thighs or wherever it ends up going). In general, he doesn’t mind cleaning it up but secretly loves when you lick it up instead.
D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)
Raab definitely has a secret exhibitionist/public sex kink of some kind. He wants people to see that he’s a perfect, good, well behaved boy for you and that he does a good job pleasing you, so he’d love if it you fucked him in a place where people (his friends, mainly) could see and/or hear it, like a public restroom or a closet or in the living room of a house when other people are in said house too. If you directly asked his friends to come watch the two of you have sex, he’d be so into it and would try even harder to be good for you. He’s definitely a bit of an attention whore, but it’s out of a desire to show people how much he loves you and wants to make you feel good.
E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)
Honestly, Raab seems like the type who didn’t get a whole lot of experience in during high school and college (or even during the CKY/Jackass series/Viva La Bam era in general), so I wouldn’t be shocked if you were his first or at the very least one of his first. He’s not entirely sure what’s he’s doing, and you definitely have to teach him some stuff, but he’s got tons of energy and eagerness and his main goal is to please you, so that makes him a fast learner. He’s still not super confident in his abilities when it comes to certain positions and stuff like that, so you’re usually the one in control during sex and you always give him plenty of directions and guide him through something if he’s not sure what to do. He was super excited to go down on you, and you honestly didn’t even have to teach him how to do it cuz he put so much enthusiasm into it and went out of his way to ask if something felt good for you or not. That’s one thing about Raab; he doesn’t always know what he’s doing or where something’s going, but he’s eager to get there. He’s very enthusiastic about it and loves talking a lot during sex, so there’s always plenty of communication.
F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)
He’s very attached to missionary style, mainly because he loves being able to bury his face in your neck and have his body pressed up against yours and he likes that you’re right there for him to kiss you and moan/talk in your ear and smile adoringly at you. Reverse missionary (you flat on top of him) is also nice, and he likes that one just as much cuz he doesn’t have to have any control. I don’t know if he’d be all that into cowgirl, but I think he’d like that position where you sit in his lap and ride his cock cuz you always have your arms around him and are, again, pressed right up against him with your faces close to each other. He just really likes cozy, comfortable positions; he can’t do anything that feels cold or unattached and especially dislikes having to be in control of the positions and movements. He’ll honestly let you fuck him wherever though; you could have him lay on the floor while you ride him and he’d be perfectly happy with that, and he’d definitely be down for sweet sex against the shower wall.
G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)
Very goofy :) I can’t see Raab ever being all that serious, he’s always so happy and sweet and in such a good mood when the two of you have sex. I can picture him constantly breaking down into giggle fits and shooting you toothy grins during the whole thing, and a lot of the stuff he says is just him complimenting you and telling you how good something feels. He doesn’t really make jokes or say anything funny, but he’s a very kind, cheerful, lighthearted guy and that rarely (if ever) changes unless he’s sad about something. Even if Bam and the others burst into the room and started picking on the two of you for fucking, Raab would still be in a good mood and he’d laugh about it cuz why should he be embarrassed about having sex with his gorgeous partner?
H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)
Definitely well shaved and well groomed. I feel like he probably wouldn’t have all that much hair down there anyway, but nevertheless he keeps it pretty well groomed. He’s kinda clumsy with it though, so don’t be shocked if he accidentally gets a cut on his balls. Probably the same color as the hair on his head, if not slightly darker.
I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)
Raab’s definitely more sweet and cuddly and affectionate than he is romantic or overly intimate. He loves complimenting you (and especially loves you complimenting/praising him and calling him a good boy) and showering you with kisses and he really loves spooning or cuddling with you in bed. His idea of the perfect cuddle session is the two of you in a soft, warm bed with tons of blankets, him curled up against you with his head against your chest as you rub his belly or his back or play with his hair and tell him how good he is for you and how much you love him and how cute he is. The funny thing is that as submissive as he is, he also likes being the more affectionate one even though most subs prefer receiving the most affection (although he loves receiving it just as much, so don’t get it twisted). You’re not gonna get rose petals and sexy bubble baths and chocolate-covered strawberries (or maybe he’ll try to give you that but he’ll almost certainly mess up somewhere), but you’ll get a shit ton of cuddling and affection.
J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)
I think Raab likes jerking off just fine but doesn’t really feel the need to do it all that often since he’s with you. I think he’d like the idea of you watching him jerk off, cuz he’ll do pretty much anything that you want him to and the idea of getting to pleasure you while simultaneously getting to pleasure himself is incredibly appealing to him. When he does jerk off, he gets pretty into it, and whether he cums very quickly or takes a while to cum will depend on how horny he is. I think he only uses spit to lube up his cock (he used lotion before he was with you but now he likes using spit cuz you always spit on his cock when you’re giving him handjobs) and he’ll lay on his bed with his face buried in his arm (sometimes he’s on his back, sometimes on his stomach) and jerk off while moaning your name and talking as if you’re there touching him yourself. If he jerks off in front of you, he’ll really want to cum on you but will be too scared of bothering you to ask you himself.
K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)
He’s definitely more of a sub than a dom, and I feel like he’s got a mommy kink by extension. He likes for you to take control of everything, he likes being praised and called a good boy, he likes doing whatever he can to please you, and he likes being babied and taken care of. He’s never been the type to be bratty or misbehave; he loves being on his best behavior for you so he can please you and so he can get rewarded for his good behavior. Calling him a good boy or a pretty boy or telling him he’s doing so good will absolutely make him melt, and he likes being really verbal with you and telling you that something feels good (and he also calls you mommy sometimes like I said before). He really gets off on you taking care of him and being really affectionate and gentle with him. Also I feel like he’d get a sick thrill from knowing that his friends can hear/see you and him having sex, so risky passionate public sex in a restroom or a closet or somewhere with people around is a bit of a kink for him as well. Exhibitionism is probably the best term for that; I can see him trying to subtly suggest that you ask some of the guys to come watch while the two of you are having sex cuz he wants people to see how good he is for you. What can I say, he loves getting attention in the weirdest of ways. I can also see him wanting to try cold temperature play, like with ice cubes.
L = Location (favorite places to do the do)
Raab doesn’t have much of a preference. He loves fucking you in soft, comfortable, familiar places like the bedroom or a hotel room, but he also has a bit of a kink for fucking in public places, so he’d be just as eager to fuck in a Burger King bathroom as he’d be to fuck in a bed. He also really likes doing it in places where other people can hear you, like in closets or in rooms with thin walls. If there’s a chance someone could walk in and see you, he’ll probably really like that location.
M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)
Raab is a classic people pleaser. Just knowing that something will turn you on and make you happy is enough to motivate him to want to do it. Going down on you, trying a new position, he’ll do anything to please you. However, he’s also got a bit of a selfish side; Raab’s super sensitive down there and is always desperate to cum, so if he thinks something will get him off, he’ll want to try it. Jerking off in front of you, letting his friends hear and see the two of you have sex, calling you mommy, it’s all stuff that gets him off and if the sex will involve any of that, he’ll somehow be even more eager and involved than usual (which is amazing considering he’s already at the top of his game 99% of the time).
N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)
Doesn’t have much of a desire to dominate you (he’ll try if you ask but I think he’d be very bad at it), doesn’t like being degraded or humiliated or insulted/talked down to (he’s a good boy, he knows it, and he wants to be treated like one), and he doesn’t like being in pain or you being in pain, so pain pain is out (minus maybe a little bit of overstimulation from time to time). He also doesn’t really like being restrained with handcuffs or anything like that; he’s a very energetic and involved guy, so handcuffs make him feel restricted and claustrophobic. He wants to be able to move around and put all his energy into it. Although I can see him liking cold temperature play (such as with ice cubes), I don’t know how he’d feel about hot wax. He really dislikes being punished or being forced to make decisions and take control, cuz again, he’s a good boy for you.
O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)
He likes both equally! Blow jobs are absolutely incredible to him and he won’t be able to think straight if you give him one (seriously, he gets so excited and will literally be rambling about how good it feels and saying thank you like ten times in a row cuz he wants you to know he appreciates it), but he also loves going down on you cuz he likes knowing that he’s making you feel good and that he’s being a good boy for you. He looks so pretty with his head between your thighs, face all pink and flushed and hair slightly messed up and that toothy grin on his face as he asks you if he’s doing a good job and if you’re close to cumming. He’s always had a gift for eating you out cuz he’s just so overzealous and passionate with it and has so much energy and there’s so much saliva that it’s borderline sloppy in a very good way.
P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)
It’s hard to discern what Raab’s favorite pace is. On one hand, he’s usually full of energy and will go really fast cuz he’s just so eager to fuck you, but on the other hand he never gets rough and usually is pretty sensual with it. Raab is super sensitive and any little touch is enough to make him moan super loudly and start thrusting with even more passion, so the sex is usually sensual and intense without either of you getting hurt.
Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)
Raab really likes them. He’s got tons of energy and could easily cum quicker than usual if you let him, so he wouldn’t mind having a super quick session every now and then. Not too often though; quickies seem to take even more energy for him than usual cuz he’s trying to pack so much into a small time frame, so he won’t want to do them all the time or he’ll eventually burn out.
R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)
Raab’s a little risky for sure. He likes trying out new locations and will gladly take the risk of fucking you somewhere where other people can hear cuz it turns him on, and he also likes trying new positions from time to time. However, I don’t know if he’d be the most adventurous when it comes to kinks and toys. He mostly knows what he likes and what he doesn’t and will only venture out of that category if you really want him to.
S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)
Even though Raab can cum pretty quickly if given the opportunity, he can also make himself last for at least an hour and a half if need be, and he gets hard again fairly quickly, so multiple rounds isn’t necessarily out of the question (although usually he leans more towards one or two rounds with a nice cuddle session and a nap afterwards).
T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)
Raab would probably be really into the idea of you using a toy on his cock or on his body in general if you brought it up, but he probably wouldn’t even think about it otherwise. It’s just not something that automatically comes to his mind when he thinks about stuff he’s into. Seriously though, picture him laying on the bed, totally red faced and moaning and tearing up as you use a high setting vibrator on the tip of his cock.
U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)
Raab seems like he wouldn’t be a tease cuz he’s such a pleaser and a sub, but honestly I think there’s a secret teasing side to him. He knows what little behaviors from him turn you on and make you think about sex, and he’ll purposefully do and say things to put you in the mood without you even realizing that he’s doing it intentionally. He’ll adjust himself in his pants and act like he didn’t notice that you saw him, make an off handed remark about wanting to be a good boy, literally anything he can to tease you subtly. He’d also like it if you teased him a bit too, but nothing that involves humiliating or degrading him.
V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)
Very loud. Raab is super vocal and usually doesn’t think about whether or not other people can hear him, so he tends to just let whatever sounds he makes fall out of his mouth without trying to hold anything back. He talks a lot (he’s very good at communication and likes to make sure he’s doing a good job, but he also just likes asking you to touch him in certain ways and likes telling you when something feels good), moans very loudly, whines a little bit, and occasionally gets kind of giggly when the sex is really affectionate and fluffy. If the two of you try to fuck somewhere and the rest of the guys are in another room nearby, you’re definitely gonna get complaints from them and they’ll probably start banging on the wall and yelling for the two of you to quiet the fuck down.
W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)
Raab sucks mad titties. That’s it, that’s my wild card. I couldn’t put it under kinks cuz idk if boobs are really a kink but Raab just gives off major “sucks titties like it’s an art form” vibes. It fits with his mommy kink and he looks so cute when he does it. He wouldn’t even care if his friends walked in on him doing it, he’s the one who’s getting to suck titties and they aren’t. Also, I’ve always liked the idea of reader meeting Raab in high school when he was an annoying little shit and him falling for them cuz they’re nice to him and seem to find his annoying habits endearing.
X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)
I haven’t actually seen his dick, so I’ll have to get a little speculative here. If I had to guess, I’d say it’s probably about average length if not slightly bigger, with a good length and a slight upward curve. It’s also probably a nice pink color when he’s hard. I can’t decide how big his balls would be (I like the idea of him having fat breeder balls but my first instinct is to say his balls are small) and I feel like he shaves everything down there pretty often to keep it clean looking.
Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)
8/10 cuz that number just sounds right. He’s got a relatively high sex drive and is usually ready and willing to fuck if you are, but he’s not a 9 or a 10 cuz there are also plenty of moments where he just wants to lay with you and cuddle. Sometimes he’s tired or his head hurts or his tummy hurts or he’s just in a really affectionate mood and in those cases he’s gonna want you to spoon him or hold him and maybe take a nap with him. He’s a total sucker for cuddling with you, perhaps even more so than he is a sucker for having sex with you.
Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)
Raab gets tired very quickly after sex, but won’t let himself sleep until he knows you’re all good. Right after sex, he’ll be very visibly sleepy, with drooping/half-lidded eyes, tons of cute yawning, messed up hair, and him rubbing his eyes a lot in an attempt to stay awake. Once you’ve started cuddling him and he’s got his head on your chest and you’re both laying in bed, he’ll fall asleep almost instantly once you’ve said you’re okay and that it’s fine for him to go to sleep now. He just gets worried that he somehow hurt you (even though he’s never the one in charge) or that you really need something and just won’t tell him.
Can you do a road trip with the crew of viva la bam and reader?? Cause it would be very chaotic with them all in one car, like someone would try to fall asleep on y/n’s shoulder (probably Ryan) and she tries to stop them, but they get like (probably dico’s) ass shoved in his face. And the rotation would end up with y/n not driving because they think she shouldn’t drive, and she ends up with a Raab sleeping on her shoulder in peace because she’s nice y’know? Would it be to much to ask if she could give them like a Green Day CD to listen to (preferable Dookie or American Idiot)??
<33
On The Road
A/n: Omg yeah ofc!!! I’m so sorry this took so long to make I’ve been super busy!
Summary: Road trip with Viva La Bam
Warnings: Swearing
It was anything but a thought out plan, but that was to be expected when hanging out with Bam and his crew. They all decided that it would be a great idea to drive to Las Vegas from West Chester because they’ve only flown and in Bam’s words “It’d be an experience”
Because they’ve known Y/n since childhood, getting her to come along was easy. She loved tagging along and hanging out with them as much as possible.
Y/n was in a deep sleep. She had her alarm set for 6 am to get ready to go on the 36 hour road trip. Bam and the others had woken up and gotten ready earlier. Bam had a key to her place and brought everyone into her house to wake her up. Of course he warned her parents beforehand.
They quietly walked into her room, holding in their laughter. After counting down from three they all simultaneously pressed down on the airhorns. Y/n sat up and screamed. “I can not stand you guys!” She rubbed her eyes and glanced over at the clock on her nightstand. 5 am. With a sigh, Y/n got out of bed.
***
It was the first hour of driving and they already made ten stops. It was mostly because Dico kept having to pee. He drank an entire jug of water just because Rake swore he couldn't do it. It was impressive but now everyone had to pay the price. Bam was getting impatient and told him that he couldn't pee unless he just peed in the jug. Which only started another bet to see if he could fill the jug back up. Between the sound of Dico peeing and Raab snoring in Y/n’s ear, the snoring was definitely easier to tolerate.
Ryan was driving which meant he would be playing the music he liked. Bam was in the front seat of the rented van Dico and Rake were in the middle row and Y/n and Raab were in the very back.
The rotation was completely random and just depended on who seemed more capable of driving. Y/n was an absolute no on driving. It wasn’t that she was the worst driver but she wasn’t even close to being the best. The amount of times that all of them had there hands on the grab handles in the car when she turned a little too hard or drove too fast was enough for her to not be picked to drive ever. Even if it was just down the street they all collectively hated her driving.
“I’m hungry” Raab groaned over the music. He was sitting next to Bam who was trying to sleep while Rake drove and Ryan held a map ready to give directions in the passenger seat. Dico and Y/n were in the middle going through CDs.
After stopping to get something to eat Rake continued to drive and Raab took the passenger seat, Ryan sat beside Y/n in the middle and Dico sat on the other end.
Ryan wanted to sleep for a little bit so he leaned his head on Y/ns shoulder and closed his eyes. She tried her best to get him off of her but it was no use, he wasn’t budging. Dico made some hand movement catching her eye. He pointed at Ryan and did something with his hands to say “move his head again” How she knew that blew her mind, but she agreed and decided to push his head one more time.
This time when she pushed he sat all the way up with his eyes still closed, but he quickly fell over to Dico’s side which apparently he had planned because there he crouched with his pants down and his ass completely out.
As soon as his face touched his ass Ryan immediately popped up and glared at the two. There was no use arguing with him even if that wasn’t her intention. They both had something coming for them.
By the end of the first day they were half way there. They stopped at a random hotel to sleep for the night. It was nicer than expected. Normally Bam got the cheapest one for shits and giggles but this time he actually got one you could sleep in.
Ryan and Rake took the floor but only if they got the comforters from the bed. Dico was a hot sleeper and didn’t mind and neither did Raab who was sleeping right beside him. Bam and Y/n slept in the same bed but Bam made sure to set up a divider. He made jokes about seeing Y/n’s face when he first woke up but he really wanted to give her space.
In the morning Raab was the last one to wake up. Everyone stayed as quiet as possible before Dico blew an airhorn in the room making him jump up.
Ryan got Y/n back by holding her face into his armpit, which didn’t smell too bad but it wasn’t a great smell. Dico wasn’t on edge at all because he was coming up with counter pranks to get him back. What he wasn’t expecting was to lick the bottom of Ryan’s shoe.
Ryan gave him a choice his shoe or one of the tires. It wasn’t much of a difference because both were insanely gross but he picked the shoe and did it on camera.
Y/n rode in the passenger seat while Dico drove. “C’mon play something good I’m tired of Rakes music” He groaned and stated imitating Rake’s metalhead voice.
“Okay okay! Dookie or American Idiot?” She asked grabbing both CDs and waving them around. “Not dookie cause I really gotta take a shit”
“Ew” She gave him a disgusted look while he threw his head back and laughed. Y/n put in the American Idiot CD and started to sing along and dance.
“This album is pretty good I do prefer Dookie though” Ryan chimed in. Y/n rolled her eyes and laughed.
When Bam woke up he started to get antsy, “Are we there yet? I'm getting sick of sitting in this fuckin van”
“We’ll stop in like 30” Dico said making Bam whine. At the gas station they stopped at Bam stretched out his legs and skated around. He made sure to go inside and buy a drink and some snacks. It would've just been that if he didn't see the stand with cans of silly string near the cash register. Dico honked the horn and waved his arms up at Bam who slowly walked out of the door with bags in his arms and candy in his mouth.
Y/n thought it’d be a good time to take a nap so she leaned her head onto Raab’s shoulder and started to fall asleep, or as best as she could because soon after Raab was asleep and snoring right by her ear.
Bam who sat next to them turned to the sit and saw them sleeping, deciding it was the perfect time to get the silly string out. He quietly reached into the and began shaking a can. Dico of course made a few jokes about the way he was shaking it, which made Bam roll his eyes but laugh because it was funny.
He sprayed the string onto the both of them making Y/n instantly sit up. Raab of course was still asleep and probably would be for a few more hours. “Awe c’mon Bam!” Y/n shrieked getting it off of her face and out of her hair. She glanced over at Raab and took it off of him throwing it at Bam. They both wrestled and tried to get string on each other but quickly got tired.
“Ryan how much longer? We’ve been in this care for wayyy too long!” Y/n complained which wasn't annoying at all compared to how many times Bam had done it. He looked at the map and guessed where they where exactly. “About 2 hours give or take”
“Yeah so no more stops, if you have to piss do it out the window” Dico cackled at his own joke making Ryan shake his head and laugh.
In the two hours it took to complete the trip, Bam had completely recked the back of the Van, Rake was throwing a tantrum about having mustard on him, Ryan was trying as best as he could to not pee himself, Dico drove way over the speed limit trying to get Ryan to the nearest bathroom, Y/n had a mixture of mustard silly string and a bunch of other stuff stuck in her hair thanks to Rake and Bam’s fight, and Raab was still asleep.
“Well, at least we made it” Bam laughed as valet took the van to the parking lot,
“Yeah remind me to never do this again. Especially if my hair is in jeopardy” Y/n sighed and grabbed her luggage as she walked into the nice hotel Bam had gotten.
“It almost makes it worth it” Ryan looked around and nodded in approval. Bam checked in and to her surprise she got her own room.
“Alright its five o clock, lets get ready, go eat, gamble, and go to a club or something”. With no objections everyone left Y/n’s room and to their shared one.
As she unpacked she looked through the camera that she brought. The pictures made her laugh, she remembered taking most of them but the others had to have been taken by Bam. There was a picture of her sleeping on Raab and her and Bam at the hotel arguing. Rake yelling at Bam over the mustard. There were also pictures of all of them at every state they went into as well as the welcome sigh they drove passed. She smiled to herself and started to get ready. In conclusion it was a really fun trip and she wouldn't do it with anyone else
The thought of driving alll the way back crossed her mind and she sighed and really tried to savor the moments outside of that dirty van that would definitely be destroyed by the time they got back.
