Jumpy

21+ || AroAce || System

[jumpingevilbug]

INTRO

Collective info -

21 + system, AroAce. (P-)DID (uncertain), Autistic Call me Jumpy. Expect - Random thoughts, experiences, and opinions.

Asking nicely to please do not follow or comment if: (pro)Anything under the endogenic umbrella (I am not online enough to figure out every little sub category man.), (pro)Radqueer, Anti-recovery, ace exclusionary or ace-coddling (my opinions are mine i'm a grown man). ANYONE IN THE (modern def) PROSHIP CIRCLE.

Thin icing of the following : Under 18 (Please don't private message me, you will be ignored, nothing personal, i also won't tolerate vaguely NSFW remarks or accounts you will be blocked), Fictionkins who use F:[NAME] or 'fiction shifting' terminology (fictionkinning is cool and all but the era of fickins being lumped in with systems left a bad taste in my mouth abt those term uses), Syscourse (I'm fine clarifying things I post, and I'm fine providing further information, but if you come to my blog to be actively inflammatory or just smugly wrong ESPECIALLY ABOUT DANGEROUSLY WRONG MENTAL HEALTH INFORMATION uhhh no thanks!!)

Frequent posters: Will probably sign off with a name, we forget emojis too easily

Elm/Relic - She/her, "little" (non-age regressed) Whims - She/Her, Ageless, Managerial-esc part, introject Andrea - He/Him, 17, protector, Sam - They/She, "middle", former protector now angerholder Phosphorous- All prns, Ageless, Gatekeeper and possessive co-host

Miscellaneous details

Singular+alter+parts terminology. We dont use headmate terminology. Endgoal is FinalFusion, but main/current goal is to STOP FUCKING SPLITTING(oh and functional multiplicity, that too...) We don't use separative terms like "The body", or refer to things belonging TO "The body". Words hold power, and phrasing like that repeatedly can worsen dissociation. You are by definition dissociating urself from your body socially. It is MY or OUR body, or better yet ME. It is also MY belongings or MY friends or MY family.

We don't treat our syskids/littles/middles like real children, if they're stable, they can do whatever they want within reason like the rest of us.

We focus on trying to integrate parts identity-wise. We do no do source calls or want to be lumped in with "Source mates". We also do not date individually, or really date at all. Collectively we resonate very far into AroAce, some of us deviate but that's not exactly feasible long term lol. DO NOT ASK FOR A QUEERPLATONIC. ESPECIALLY IN THE MIDDLE OF A VOICECALL INFRONT OF OTHER PEOPLE. AND KEEP DEMANDING A RESPONSE. THIS IS TARGETTED. And if this targets YOU, you shouldn't be here!

Most of this blog will just be certain alters thoughts, there's like. 3 of us that can actually work tumblr on our own.

[jumpingevilbug]

TAG COINING : Alternative CDD-system Specific Tag

So i noticed the tags for in-system relationships (Dating, familial, QPRs, etc) seem to be very much inhabited by (pro)endogenics. Which for CDD-systems is frustrating, because in-system relationships can be a very beneficial topic in regards to healing, recovery and integration in my and many peoples experiences. So with like zero expectation of it being used I propose a new term/tag:

Intunexus (Intus - Inside | Nexus - A connection between important things)

Intunexus is a CDD SYSTEM ANTI ENDO term/tag used to describe insystem relationships of all kinds used to harbor and promote healing and integration between alters. --- PURPOSE The purpose of this term and tag is to allow CDD systems to discuss in-system relationships, including romantic, familial, qpr, etc, that promote healing and integration. Also for the discussion of breakthroughs in healing techniques, sharing memories and more under the umbrella of bonding alters and offering hands of kindness and selflove to ones alters. Anything along those lines falls under Intunexus. I found myself that the insys dating, relationships, etc tags are almost all about endos. And when we're looking for a topic related to healing, seeing 100 "i willed my source partner into my system" posts isn't entirely helpful. So i propose the Intunexus tag as a CDD system exclusive alternative Tags include but are not limited to nor required: #Intunexus (General) #Intunexus Experience (Personal accounts) #Intunexus Joy (Positive) --- Id make a flag, i have the idea, but when i actually make it, i hate it, so uh. If you want to propose a flag be my guest lol

[jumpingevilbug]

Hitting discard on my 4000th unsent anon ask

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I love requesting something typical for the opposite sex and getting the my-sex version instead its like being a fruit and asking for mineral water and then getting fruit flavored water GIVE ME MINERAL WATER. i want ROCKS NOT PLANTS

[jumpingevilbug]

Jumpy VS the Specifics of CDDs

So to preface this kind of half baked ramble is more originated from my autisms innate need to hard-box categorize things around me. Then comes CDDs, where in should I be able to get a diagnosis (unlikely to be anytime soon due to wait times) my diagnosis depends on the personal opinions of the doctor and how they would interpret my symptoms. Which is fine by me, because OVERALL the diagnosis itself isn't what matters to me but rather if the therapy actually works to improve my quality of life. But in the mean time, I'm left to my own devices regarding how I "label" my state of being, which gets frustrating very very quickly with how the community, and even medical professionals, can't seem to hold concrete opinions on the specific boundaries of the different system related CDD disorders. I've known for a while that OSDD-1A and 1B were more community terms; they would always get umbrella'd under OSDD-1. I understood how it related to TTOSD in way of ANP and EP functionality.

Given the nature of systems, I could never quite decide if i had enough amnesia to call myself a DID system, nor did i feel as if i fit the ANP-EP ratio found in OSDD-1, primarily because of switching habits. Whether its because I just don't remember switches, or I just don't switch frequently, I felt out of place; that lasted until I found out about P-DID. It felt like, the description I'd been given at the time fit perfectly as an explanation for my state of being- DID, but no/limited switches. I sat quite comfortably with that, while using it to comprehend and manage my symptoms, until pretty recently where P-DID is being talked about more and its just gotten WAY more confusing. Now P-DID is alongside OSDD, as a sort of "-1C" which the descriptions I'd read didn't feel they applied either. I'd been told "P-DID can't have co-fronts" "cant have co-con the same way as DID or OSDD", Both of which things I experience. I had some people tell me "P-DID is more akin to 1A" which couldn't apply to me because of how variable my parts are, and by now I don't think 1B would apply either with the extra awareness I have of how severe my amnesia can get.

Kind of leaves me in a state of walking around in a circle like a caged animal because I can no longer find a box statement that fits. I don't fit OSDD-1a because I lack a core sense of internal identity, I don't know if i fit OSDD-1b because of the amnesia I experience being difficult to define without a professional as "sufficient or not sufficient for DID", OSDD-1 in general I might not fit due to my amount of apparent ANPs and EPs. I might not fit P-DID anymore because of both the sufficient amnesia or the ability to co-front with other parts, or my lack of a core internal identity / memory. Which then leaves me with DID, which I also don't feel like i 'qualify' for due to my switching habits which I'd previous explained with P-DID. So now I'm a tad stumped, and walking in circles again. It's almost like its a complex set of disorders or something!!

While logging, journaling and internal work has done so much for me it can only do so much I think. Again- specific labels don't matter in the grand scheme of things, but the need to have hard labels and specific neat boxes for things really drives me in circles :/ Especially when I read amounts of contradictory information on the topic. I know in my heart it's partly individual interpretation but the Need For Boxes... On a side note: Tumblr how does the personal tags work for categorizing only on your own blog?? Smh Signed!!! -Whoever the fuck

[jumpingevilbug]

do pillbug feel happyness

[jumpingevilbug]

Flashback to that that time i was lurking in a system server in 2022 and for some reason they were like. 14 year old tiktok kids that typed like Facebook boomers. I don't even remember the servers name other than the 500 screenshots captioned with screaming in my friends DMs like an hour before it got shut down because the owner was genuinely deranged. I couldn't even take it seriously, because the owners partner was in chat defending them and their pluralkit was buff Garfield which REALLY contrasted with the genuinely evil shit happening

strange times

-Sam

[jumpingevilbug]

sometimes ill be like damn i am prob just are forgetful and we're not actually that different and then someone shows up, fat sits the front and makes that one (or a few) heinous change to my normal behavior.

like why is looking at scrapes or scabs makin this sensation run thru my whole body? and why am i suddenly fine with spiders? and if i get up from my desk with absolute certainty for my mission just to have an empty quest bar ONE MORE TIME i will do something drastic, like a backflip

[jumpingevilbug]

Peeking inside

Hey its been a few years are people still getting routinely doxed on system tumblr?? Genuine question lol

EDIT: wth do people do here btw