I have to buy Christmas gifts for my highkey homophobic relatives because if they’re gonna shun me for being trans they better be upfront about it, I’m not going to give them any other “reasons” for it by God I am going to give them good gifts and they are going to have to justify hating me for other reasons.
Anyways. I spent 1 night searching etsy for the queerest stores I could possibly patronize, while also having products with plausible deniability for homophobic relatives bc I don’t want to start a riot on the spot I just want to have a nice innocuous gift that comes from a source that would absolutely make them furious if they knew. My goal was to find someone who donates to a charity like the Trevor Project so I could get An Innocuous Non-Gay Looking Item but cackle inside knowing that the gift money is actually going to The Gays.
Here’s some stores that I was delighted to find but didn’t quite make the cut for the incredible specific things I was looking for.
JabaCrafts: sells a variety of what looks like very nice soaps, some are Normal and could be used for Homophobic Relative Gifts, a percentage of money (they didn’t say how much..?) from the sale of only the Pride-themed soaps goes to local LGBTQ+ charities.
TrandleBoutique: Transwoman-owned shop with Pride candles. Also sells plain colored candles that could be used as Homophobic Relative Gifts whilst directly funding a trans artisan.
TBrosSoapCo: LGBT-owned (I”m assuming they’re a trans man based on the prominent T pun in the title, which also includes a hypodermic needle so heads up if you hate those, the soaps look like they come stamped with the design so unfortunately I can’t use these as Homophobic Relative Gifts but I love this store and may one day have to patronize them For Me) and their soaps look very nice
SpookiiBubbles: Has spooky/Halloween-themed stuff, which I love; also has a bi and a neon rainbrow pride design, donates the profits from the pride-themed soaps to the LGBTQ bail fund.
WildRaeBoutique: donates 3 dollars from the sale of every rainbow pride soap to the Trevor Project. Also has Innocuous Non-Gay Items For Homophobic Relatives.
Runner-ups: stores that are just very fun and also have 1 or 2 Pride options so like, casual allies
JiroSoap: INCREDIBLY CUTE soaps, some are CAT THEMED, have 3 rainbow designs and all are gorgeous
HarnettHeritage: just some very cute molded soaps in a variety of themes (I was sorely tempted by the Halloween potions set) and they have one rainbow pride option
HoneyBubbleSoaps: has one Pride design and some other very nice items (the rose loofah soap is beautiful and would make a great gift)
PeppyLittleSoapShop: has some very interesting soap designs/scents, also sells some pride designs and offers to custom-make any pride flags they don’t currently offer.
Bonus: items I’ve found that I, personally, am getting, for me
LA Ramen Girl: cute ghost pride pins, donates 10% to the Trevor Project.
TabKimpton: has a sparkly headstone patch that says CAN’T BURY THIS GAY and I have literally never in my life vibed with something more omg
And here’s what I ended up deciding to go with.
The Ultra Stealth Gay Christmas Present for Homophobic Relatives
They have subtle pride-color candles and candles inspired by drag queens. The entire shop is gay as hell and donates a percentage (again idk how much but I believe them) to the Rainbow Railroad, a Canadian organization that helps queer people escape from persecution in other countries. And the candles just look cool and based on the reviews smell quite nice. They are a bit more pricey than some other stuff on this list, about 20 bucks per candle, but I’m willing to pay that price for a once-yearly Gay Rights Stealth Homophobic Relatives Gift.
((Additionally… not 2 shill but… I also have an etsy and it sells necklaces, mostly cottagecore-themed, I have some cute mushroom pendants, skull beads, fish vertebrae, one design is trans pride themed, hi im trans))
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