Junsuxout

29 years old caretaker by the Lotus clan.

[junsuxout]

Your Notebook [Seunghyun & Junsu]

[ad-yoongi]

Seunghyun really did not expect Junsu to take him up on that remark. With the cook evading the obvious sarcasm about their situation and taking his words so direct and serious instead, they seem to become less of a joke, and it draws the conversation into a realm of honesty and normalcy Seunghyun has long forgotten how to be comfortable with. 

His posture stiffens a bit since he doesn’t know which pose to assume, and he touches the back of his neck gingerly. There’s another joke at the tip of his tongue, and a snide remark for if Junsu won’t get the message and allow him to slip away with just that. But Seunghyun realizes he’d be behaving like an ass if he’d try to discourage the man in such an indirect fashion. It’s fine to laugh at his own misery -it’s his last resort defense mechanism- but to evade and devalue someone’s genuine offer for company in such a manner would make him a fucking coward. And though he knows that’s actually what he is, he’d like to at least pretend to be otherwise. "the roof…" he manages to utter, looking aside at an absolutely uninteresting blank wall. It’s not the ‘no’ he had intended to give the cook, and he surprises himself. Wonders what the fuck he’s starting with this all of a sudden. "of the school. I like it there." It’s a secluded and detached sort of place, like rooftops usually are. A space where you can feel connected and disconnected with the people below at the same time, and where, if you lay down on your back and focus your eyes on just the sky, you can almost pretend the world is back to what it was before (though the lack of traffic is a heavy reminder of the truth). Seunghyun tries to push the thought of the syringes he has hidden there to the back of his mind. He’s not sure if he should’ve mentioned his retreat to Junsu, but he assures himself his supplies are well hidden, and anonymous on the roof if found.

[junsuxout]

He feels the tension between them and his emotions are like a roller coaster, has no clue how to behave with the man as he doesn't give him a sign on how to act. He does his best to stay true to himself and his own personality, even though it's mostly ruined in these four years and sometimes doesn't even recognizes himself and his own actions. But he looks up, eyes blinking when he hears Seunghyun talk, it's soft and not that enthusiastic, but it brings Junsu a smile on his face. "The roof?" he repeats, his head cocks a little to the left as he starts to think, he never been there, probably because he's too scared to look around too much where there are not many people. "I've never been there to be honest..." he continues softly, looking away. He feels a little stupid as he told the man he would bring him somewhere and it seems now Seunghyun has to bring him to a place. One of the corners of his mouth pull up as he thinks about that, not really a smile, but more a grimace in spite of himself.  "Are you there a lot?" he asks, keeps the conversation going, "can I visit you there sometimes?" He looks at the man again "I uhh... maybe... with something hot to drink to feel calm?" his voice turns smaller as he speaks, confidence leaving him by every word. He keeps on looking at the man, notices a little late he's making some nervous movements with his hands and arms and stops it, let them hang next to his body again, his mind screams that he wants to know Seunghyun better and he feels it's maybe finally going in that direction.

[junsuxout]

Your Notebook [Seunghyun & Junsu]

[ad-yoongi]

Seunghyun drops his hand when Junsu takes a step back, The man is still in obvious discomfort but at least the fear seems to have left his posture. Seunghyun guesses that´s a step forward.

The question that is thrown in his direction next sounds very out of place, and though Seunghyun knows the cook is trying hard to start up a normal conversation, he can´t help but allow an uncharacteristic chuckle to escape. `why?´ He puts his weight on one leg, observing Junsu with a hint of amusement in his voice at this point. `If I tell you I´m tired of sleeping, would you offer to take me somewhere nice?´ Something about Junsu invites him to tease, and boy, Seunghyun honestly doesn´t remember the last time he´d had a playfull talk. He´s probably rusty. To save Junsu the embarrassement of having to come up with an answer he continues, `I´m on guard tonight, actually. You probably won´t see me at breakfast tomorrow.´

[junsuxout]

One of the corners of his mouth curls up when he hears the man chuckle, a sound he'd never heard before from the man and it makes him want to chuckle along with him. He straightens his form, standing up a little more, want to give the man a more confident look. He notices that the man is playing with him, but it makes him think seriously about that question. Really wants to come up with something for the man. He doesn't hear the other man's comment, but he looks up from his thinking. "W-would you like it... if I take you somewhere nice?" he cocks his head a little, questioning eyes, he knows it's almost impossible to do something /nice/ here with all this misery around them, but he would figure something out for the man. Feels a need to share something with Seunghyun, he can't explain it to himself it's just something he wants to give in to.

"I-I mean... it wouldn't be something amazing, but I can figure something out.... I think... if you like..." He smiles a little at the man, hopes he doesn't look like a total fool right now, his stuttering isn't helping him and he feels his heart drop a little, really starts to wonder why he feels like this in front of the man, why is the man doing this to him?

[junsuxout]

Your Notebook [Seunghyun & Junsu]

[ad-yoongi]

Seunghyun observes Junsu´s posture, small and beaten down by his words, and sighs. He takes his notebook back in a surprisingly gentle movement, considering his attitude before. Seunghyun feels guilty for having reduced the man in front of him to such a stuttering, nervous and insecure being. The cook honestly looks like he´s about to cry if Seunghyun would so much as raise his hand too fast, and Seunghyun bites his lip, clutches his notebook under one arm and tries to reduce the strictness in his posture. This guy is not a soldier. They´re not outside of the walls and none of his actions endangered anyone or anything. Seunghyun should have realised sooner that his personal reaction would still carry the authority and weight of his role as commander and have behaved accordingly.

He´s a little clueless now as to how he can make up for this, feeling that whatever comes out of his mouth now might still be taken as a reprimanding, no matter his intentions. But then he remembers what his grandma used to say; if you´re looking to become closer to someone, the quickest way is through touch. Seunghyun isn´t nessecarily looking to get closer, but he´s seeking to break down at least part of the image that his function within their clan projects on him, and cross a bit of the distance that exists between him and Junsu at this point.

He reaches out tentatively. The man is still keeping his gaze down, tension and guilt clear in his expression, and Seunghyun´s fingers eventually find themselves petting at soft tufts of hair. The whole thing feels a bit like he´s comforting a tiny animal, but it turns out less awkward than he imagined. Since apologising didn´t seem to work he switches to a different tactic. He speaks his words in complete calm now and actually sounds like he means it. `thank you.´

Seunghyun struggles to elaborate, knowing that his shortness of speech only adds to his stoic image, but he can´t for the love of all that isn´t roaming around undead find more words to express himself. So he just continues petting Junsu´s hair carefully.

[junsuxout]

It takes him a few seconds to swallow the lump away and steadying his breath and heart beat again when the man gently grabs the book from his hands. He doesn't dare to look at the man yet, keeps in the same position till the other man will speak up or just walk away from him. He learned his lesson, he shouldn't walk around with someone else's possession. Junsu didn't saw the hand coming that nears his head as he is just deep in thoughts and self reflection when he feels the man's hand all of a sudden gently stroke over his hair. His eyes widen because of this and his heart starts beating faster again. He doesn't know what to do, he figures it's a nice gesture of the man, but it only makes him feel more stupid. He slowly looks up at Seunghyun when he hears the thank you from his mouth and notices that the man is calm and neutral.  "Y-you're welcome..." he speaks soft after another few seconds when he takes a step back, it's not that he doesn't like the touch, but it just feels awkward right now. "I'm happy you have it back now... please take good care of it..." his voice still soft and he blinks a little awkward as he tries to keep his focus on Seunghyun, but the man stare makes him so awkward and nervous and his eyebrows furrow, frustration coming up as he doesn't want to feel like this. He strokes and scratches his arms in nervous habit and smiles at the man. "so... what are your plans for tonight?" he asks, still awkward, to lighten up the mood or that is his intention.

[junsuxout]

Your Notebook [Seunghyun & Junsu]

[ad-yoongi]

`not?´ Seunghyun grunts, one eyebrow raised in disbelief. `then what is this, really?´ He dares, at least slightly amused by Junsu´s shocked reaction, but still disgruntled about finding the cook sneaking a peek onto pages that he explicitly made clear not to look at. He holds out his hand, wordlessly demanding Junsu to return the book to him. `at least now I know where it went.´ Maybe he´s being too harsh on the guy, he was obviously seeking to bring the notebook back to Seunghyun on his own initiative, and Seunghyun knows he should be grateful. But he feels violated in his privacy, and awkward about what the book might have revealed to Junsu, and in return both things cause him to behave quite hostile.

Junsu´s current facial expression forces him to reflect on his own attitude though, and he has to admit his reaction is out of comparison to the crime committed, He raises his hand to his face and pinches the bridge of his nose, breathing out slowly to regain his composure. `sorry,´ he forces through gritted teeth, the apology obviously taking him effort.

It´s rare to find him apologising. It´s not that he never reflects upon his actions, but he usually doesn´t do things without good reason; he´s not the type to follow vague intuitions or the kind of personality that reacts directly from their feelings. Seunghyun´s usually got quite a tight filter between his brain and his mouth. Unless he feels threathened, then he lashes out with harsh words like now.

[junsuxout]

"no, I, uuhh.. it's.." he struggles with his words when he recognizes Seunghyun's voice, but the man talks over him and he stops trying, feels his heart beating faster as his eyes go towards the man's outstretched hand, but his body unable to move causing by the shock. He starts breathing again when he sees the man move and his hand goes towards his face, but it doesn't seem any better. He looks at the ground, feels a lump forming in his throat and he sighs, he shouldn't have touched the book and it's all his fault that the man is like this right now. He should apologize to him and tell him the true story. It's his plan and he looks up, sees the man's face better now and he takes a deep breath as he opens his mouth to start his apology when he hears the other man starts with that. His eyebrows fly up when he hears that and he is a little confused about this. The way the man says sorry to him tells him it's not easy for Seunghyun to do, but he totally understands, doesn't even get it why the man said it in the first place. "No... " he says with a hoarse voice, still a little thick by the lump that's still there. "I am sorry... I shouldn't have touched your notebook... I just wanted to keep it safe..." he doesn't look at Seunghyun. "A-a...a photo fell out... I looked at it... I-I'm very sorry, but I didn't looked at anything else!" he rambles, his shoulders stiff and upwards as he makes himself smaller. He reaches the notebook carefully towards Seunghyun and waits for the man to get it, still his face towards the ground and his heartbeat high, he feels like crying from embarrassment. 

[junsuxout]

Your Notebook [Seunghyun & Junsu]

The last two days he held Seunghyun's notebook with him as the man forgot it on the kitchen table, desperately waiting for the man to have it picked up. He's afraid the man gets angry at him because he touched it, but he didn't wanted to let other people see it, wanted to hide the man's pride, so he took it with him and kept it safe. Right now he's trying to find the man as he didn't came to find Junsu, doesn't know what he's doing and guesses he wants the book back as it seemed as something very important to him. He shuffles through corridors and different places in their camp, searching for the man inside their border as he's afraid to get out that. It's getting harder as the sun starts to set and he sighs, but keeps on wandering around. He maybe should stay in the kitchen as he knows Seunghyun will come eventually, but Junsu already stayed there for one day, waiting for the man, but he didn't came, so now he thought it would be smart to find him. It's his clumsiness that comes up again as he almost falls over his own feet, the floors not that even here anymore and the notebook shakes in his arms, takes him some spazzing movements to keep it there. He hears a soft sound of paper hitting the floor and he tries to find where it comes from. A photo laying with the picture side down on the floor and Junsu makes a face of horror, embarrassed by himself that this could happen as he knows the photo fell out of Seunghyun's notebook. He picks it up, turns it slowly around as he's curious to see what's on it. It's clearly Seunghyun, smiling with a pretty girl next to him. That must be his girlfriend, as she doesn't look at all like the man. He stares at it for a moment, finds it interesting to see the smile on Seunghyun's face and it makes him give a tiny smile at his own face as well. He reminds himself quickly he should return it and don't waste time, it's private and he shouldn't look at it. As he hesitates he opens the book randomly to place the photo inside it, so it will be safe again, but just as he does he hears footsteps behind him and looks startled behind him where the sound comes from. "I-it's not what it looks like!" He says without really knowing if that was Seunghyun coming closer.

[ad-yoongi]

I know your face [Junsu vs Seunghyun]

[ad-yoongi]

  The first time Junsu drops something on the floor Seunghyun doesn’t comment on it, deciding he doesn’t need to emphasize on the awkwardness that’s already in Junsu’s posture. He goes on to answer the man’s question with a shrug of his shoulders instead. “some things simply need to be done,” he tells him, not elaborating on what type of things he’s referring to, leaving that for Junsu to figure out himself. The second time Junsu drops something he no longer feels he should ignore it. Seunghyun’s brows are slightly furrowed when he looks around, and there is a hint of concern in his voice when he speaks. “are you alright?” He finds the cook chuckling gently, but the faint traces of red on the man’s cheeks are an easy indicator of how he really feels. Seunghyun kneels next to him to inspect the wood. Some of the smaller blocks and wood chips are blackened by traces of flame, but they seemed to have refused catching fire. “hm,” a soft noise slips out of him. “let’s try to light some smaller pieces first.” With his nails he digs into one of the the more solid blocks of wood and wiggles free a few thin strands of wood fiber that curl up as soon as they are torn free. He gathers a handful of these, placing them underneath a small structure of relatively tiny pieces of wood, and tries to light these instead. It works this time, the curled up fibers catching fire easily, and their flame lights the smaller pieces of wood, which will in turn set the bigger blocks alight once heat starts building up. Seunghyun blows at the fire gently, concentration written all over his face which, amusingly enough, gives him the sort of intensely focused look that’s usually only reserved for children.

[junsuxout]

He stares at Seunghyun's face instead of the man's hands to look at what he's doing. Senses a much more softer person right now, than some minutes ago and it makes him smile slightly, but not too much as he doesn't want to give himself away. When he hears the man talk he tries to focus on the man's hands this time, looking at what he's doing and makes a noise to let the man know he's listening, understanding it. He clumsy tries to help the man with holding the wood block, but let the man do the work, seeing that he is much more capable in doing so. His eyes go back to the man's face when Seunghyun starts blowing gently at the fire that's surprisingly doing well, his smile still on his face, now a little more noticeable. He takes in the man's features of his profile, focussing on the man's mouth that looks pretty cute right now. He feels a craving of telling the man he's beautiful, but knows he shouldn't do that if he wants to keep some peace here or in the most mild version, getting away from some horrible awkwardness.  The feeling gets bigger and it turns in to a craving for hugging someone, feeling someone's touch and warmth. He stands up abruptly, holds in a sound of frustration, mad at himself. "Thank you, I guess it's working fine now..." awkwardness in his voice, but he smiles warmly at the man, trying not to show him that. It takes him some effort to get his eyes away from Seunghyun to continue making their breakfast as it will take a while to get everything heated up.

[ad-yoongi]

I know your face [Junsu vs Seunghyun]

[ad-yoongi]

Seunghyun’s eyelids flutter in slight surprise when he feels Junsu’s hands on his, guiding him wordlessly but with gentle touch to cut in slightly bigger pieces that what he’s been doing up until now. Maybe it’s a little bit pathetic but he hasn’t really been aware of his skin brushing with someone else’s in what seems like forever, and the simple intimacy of it, despite the practical intentions behind it, leave him craving. He never realized he could miss such a thing before.

"ah, but that’s good, I think." He mutters, unaware of his own words growing softer. "I wouldn’t even know what to do with the shit we find out there. Let alone make it taste good."

Junsu is quite noisy when he moves around the kitchen, and Seunghyun can’t help the corner of his mouth turning up. If he didn’t know better, he’d have thought it was an infected moaning about. The question the man throws in his direction makes him think for a while. He never considered what he does as ‘work’. He’s simply driven by survival and responsibility and he does what he can from the moment he wakes ‘till the moment he drops into bed. Sure, he takes time for himself every once in a while when the need builds up, but he fills it with activities he’d rather not share. So he settles for an unsatisfying “I eh… I like what I do.”

[junsuxout]

"Well..." let's something drop on the floor with a hard but dull sound and bends over to grab it with a sigh. "yeah, but if you didn't liked it you wouldn't do it right?" Doesn't know if that's a little hard question right now, while preparing breakfast, but he wants to let the other man talk a bit more. He's trying to get the fire of the stove on and makes some blowing noises, but it's not really helping, the wood is probably still a little damp.  As he stands up after trying to get the fire on, he feels dizzy and grabs something nearby, but it falls on the ground, another time his clumsiness comes up and he sighs again, while he starts blushing. Feels very dumb right now as he makes a mess of everything while he has this man in his company who seems to be in fully control of himself and probably not clumsy at all. Gets himself together and starts to chuckle softly, trying to keep the tension away. "Can you... maybe... help me... with putting the fire on? I think I need an extra hand..." he says with a soft voice, embarrassment in it as this kitchen should be his area where he does everything right. This morning it seems his clumsiness is twice as worse and he even has days or weeks he does everything fine, but for some reason he gets a little nervous with this man next to him.

[dachuanxout]

Kitchen-matters || Dachuan & Junsu

The life of a soldier wasn’t easy, but then again, who in the clan had it easy? They all looked after each other and after all these years, it somewhat felt like home to Dachuan. It would probably be the closest to home he’d ever have again. The Chinese man had adapted quickly to the small country and it’s culture as well as language, the differences from his birth-country weren’t remarkably big after all. All that lingered was the slight accent, only noticeable when he tried to pronounce certain sounds. No one had ever made a comment about it though, especially not one of the cooks in the clan. Dachuan had liked him from an early stage into their friendship, and enjoyed spending time with the male when he was free from any missions. 

The last couple of days had been hectic, and the previous night had not brought him many hours of rest. Exhausted but yet not sleepy, he stumbled into the kitchen where Junsu currently was. His weapons were already in the artillery storage, though the small bag with nails around his hips had stayed on. They didn’t belong with his guns after all. Also, the guns could scare the male he was visiting, something he didn’t want. Fear was not something he felt necessary in that moment, especially not in their own camp. Giving out a short greeting to the working man, he looked around and noticed a stool standing in one of the corners. Dachuan took it out and placed it not too far from the standing male. A heavy sigh left him as he rested against the nearest wall, closing his eyes right as a question left him. His voice might have sounded tired, but he was curious nonetheless. “So how has it been?” 

[junsuxout]

He looks up from cleaning some kitchen utensils in a bucket when he hears someone come in and a smile appears on his face when he recognizes the man. He says a soft hello as he keeps on washing, wanting to finish his duty first. That doesn't change the fact he feels really delighted to see the man visiting him as it feels like that has been a very long time. He doesn't know why but these past days seem to feel much longer, still figuring out why that is.  He gets distracted from his thoughts when the other man asks him that and he looks up again. "I, uhh, I'm doing pretty well... I guess, what about you? I haven't seen you around here much the last couple of days.." He has a little worry in his voice, caring for his friend, even though he's not sure he can already call him a friend yet, is very careful with that here. He knows that this clan should be a tight family, or well that is what Junsu wants them to be, but he feels they are still not there. But to have this guy, that looks pretty harsh from the outside (even though he's handsome) to make friendly small talk with Junsu makes him happy and giving him hope to have this place feel like a home very soon. From the way the man is sitting in the room he reads he will stay here a little longer than just asking about how he's doing and thinks about preparing something nice for the man. Nothing spectaculair as that is not possible here, but sometimes something small can brighten up someone's day. 

[ad-yoongi]

I know your face [Junsu vs Seunghyun]

[ad-yoongi]

"it’s been a while since I cut something other than meat," Seunghyun grins shortly, but then steals his face again and scratches the back of his neck awkwardly as he rises from his seat, not sure if that kind of joke is appropriate.

He’s unfamiliar in the kitchen, and to a certain point that irks him. Here he is with all these feelings of responsibility for their clan and he doesn’t even know how most of their people truly spend their day. The days he spend digging toilets in the school’s backyard seems long behind him, and he wonders now if that has been a positive development. "you said you …love it?" Seunghyun muses, repeating Junsu’s earlier words. The concept seems strange to him, not only because the chore appears mundane, but also because in the past few years, he’s never once given thought to what he likes to do himself. It is, and has always been necessity that dictates his course of action. He’d taken up weapons because he needed to fight, kill and defend. He’d build walls because he needed to create a secure space. He’d laid traps and guided and ordered at Ji Young’s side, because people craved guidance and leadership. In this, he has evolved not according to his abilities but people’s needs, and as this transformation continues to progresses, he feels he’s beginning to loose himself more and more. But this too, is a sacrifice he deems necessary. So to have Junsu talk about this thing he loves… it throws him for a loop.

[junsuxout]

Looks up when the man starts to talk again. "I think... love, is a big word for this, but I enjoy it..." he says with a calm smile, looks away from the man as he prepares some material to fire up their self made stove. "it's at least what I can do..." he adds softly and looks at Seunghyun again. Makes a hand free to silently change a little at what the man is doing, not really minding his business, but making sure he will do it alright. As he squats down before the self made stove he groans low, trying to swallow his noise and immediately starts to make sound as he pushes stuff inside to prepare a fire. He holds himself at the stove to get himself up again. When he's done he glances over his shoulder to look at the man, who's cutting the vegetables pretty well. He keeps staring at the man's back and a small smile appears on his face. "What do you like?... besides your work?" asking a little curious, his desire to get to know this man better still present.

[junsuxout]

Visit Original Link

Slut - Caretaker's Theme

[ad-yoongi]

I know your face [Junsu vs Seunghyun]

[ad-yoongi]

Hearing his own name spoken, he realizes the mistake he made, and he at least has the decency to look a tiny bit guilty for it. 

"Junsu," he tries the name on his tongue. There’s a Junsu in his notebook as well, at least that’s what the text on the picture said. That Junsu looks about ten years younger than this one though, and at least a thousand times happier and more well-rested too, despite his school uniform. He likes the name though, so he says that. "… it’s a good name. It suits you." Does that make sense? Ar you allowed to say that about people’s names? Seunghyun wonders when he managed to forget how to have a casual conversation. He feels clumsy with his words and can only hope he doesn’t offend the other needlessly again. "are you… am I not taking your attention away from your work? Should I help?" He might be the commander, but when he feels out of depth he likes to have a task pushed into his hands. If he gets to follow orders he at least knows what kind of posture to assume. And this kitchen is obviously Junsu’s turf.

[junsuxout]

It's strange to hear the man saying his name, especially in that way, as if they really meet each other for the very first time, even though they spent time together escaping the refuge camp. It's the comment the man makes afterwards that surprises him for real and one eyebrow lifts slightly up as if the man is mocking him, but he notices in the way he says it there is nothing like that inside the comment. It makes him think, his memory pushing him by force towards his parents, who named him and there is slight panic, probably able to read on his face. He tries to keep his memories away from it, thinking quickly at different things and starts talking, which makes his brain focussing on something else. "ah, yeah... well thank you" he says a little confused, soft voice. He scratches his bleached hair, which is not that healthy anymore like it was some years ago.  He's happy the man talks again towards him, keeping his mind away from things and he smiles when he hears Seunghyun's voice. "Oh..!" is a little surprised by this, didn't expected that from the man. "ehm... sure... if you want to, I would like that actually..." makes a soft laughing sound. "It's pretty hard, making so much food for everyone, but I love it." He takes a step back, making room for the man to follow him as he slowly makes his way towards the kitchen, thinking about what task he can give the man. Makes a soft thinking noise as he looks around in the kitchen, doesn't know what the man can and want to do. "Maybe you can cut some vegetables?" he says a little careful, doesn't want to command him as that is not his job especially not towards this man. "For the big omelet?"

[ad-yoongi]

I know your face [Junsu vs Seunghyun]

[ad-yoongi]

He knows he’s behaving like an asshole, and he feels a little guilty when the guy retreats, but having attention drawn to the more private parts of himself, rather than the role he’s used to fulfilling, is a little threatening somehow. 

The sound of kitchen appliances echoes harshly in the empty space of the canteen and for the second time this morning, Seunghyun is taken totally by surprise. It is true that their technical team managed to create ways to harness and store small amounts of energy in the form of electricity, but for it to be used in such a fashion seems irresponsible. He makes a mental note to address this issue with Ji Young and their technicians in the coming meeting.

Filled with just sound, and with the light of morning filtering in, the emptiness of the canteen space that was so comforting the night before becomes emphasized, and Seunghyun suddenly feels a little forlorn. He realizes how lonely he has grown to be over the past years, living only to fight and do what is necessary for survival. The friends he carries in his heart no longer surround him, and he hasn’t yet found the courage or time to build something new, more important duties taking away his attention. He strokes his fingers over his notebook, evidence to his sentiment and need for human contact, and sighs.

Apparently though, he hasn’t scared off the kitchen guy completely, because he’s back and making him an offer for breakfast that sounds very tempting. “don’t,” Seunghyun says, however, fearing the offer is an apology of some sorts. “I’ll eat with the others.” He doesn’t need special treatment. He hesitates for a moment, a little awkward in reaching out, but maybe it’s time, at least some friendliness to compensate for being such an ass before. “I.. don’t remember your name,” he admits, almost a question, eyes cast down as he studies the scrapes on his knuckles.

[junsuxout]

It stings again when the man refuses his offer and he nods. He tries to keep his face neutral as he doesn't want to show the man emotions by that rejection. With out his face faltering he leans with one hand on the table, looking at Seunghyun, opening his mouth as he wants to say something when he hears the man talking and closes his mouth again. That comment or almost question stings as well, again and he almost wants to sigh at himself because of his stupid sensitiveness. He smiles weakly, trying to hide again his emotions. "Well Seunghyun... my name is Junsu." He hopes that wasn't really mean and makes his smile a little warmer, but still not very friendly. He wonders if he's the only one that knows besides the leader all the names of the people in the clan or if it's just the indifference of this man, or if he just doesn't care about Junsu at all.  He understands though, as he is not someone that can protect the clan and fight for them and he is pretty clumsy in what he do. Besides making food and clean there is not much he actually can do here.

[ad-yoongi]

I know your face [Junsu vs Seunghyun]

[ad-yoongi]

Seunghyun huffs when Junsu walks off. Hearing the other chuckle makes him feel slightly agitated for some reason, as if the sound were offensive. He wonders if it’s pride talking, or if he’s really that far on the defense.

"thanks," he grunts when the promised coffee is placed in front of him. He leans in low, his nose over the rim of his cup, and inhales deep. Flashes of school books and too early lecture hours come back to him, his girlfriend sitting cross-legged besides him in a coffee shop. "shit…" he murmurs, eyes closed and expression one of simple bliss. "this is nostalgic." He allows himself to get carried away if only for a moment. By now this guy must have already lowered his expectations of ‘the commander’, Seunghyun doesn’t think he can do any more harm to his name.

It’s right at that instant the man decides to put the emphasis back onto Seunghyun’s secret though, and it irks Seunghyun greatly to have the attention returned to the notes on those pages; proof of his own wandering, unstable mind - a mind unsuited for the role he has taken upon himself. “I don’t care what you saw,” he snaps, the sentence short and gruff. He wonders when he started lying.

[junsuxout]

"Oh.." he says soft, almost a breath. The man's reaction stinging a little, but it's not surprising him. "Well... enjoy your coffee..." he says a little bitter, but still with a soft voice and he sighs, making his way back to the kitchen to continue preparing breakfast. He glances over at the man, observing his posture, wishing he could get a little closer to him. He puts some vegetables in a blender and presses it on, which fills the room with the hard annoying noise of the tiny machine, his eyes on Seunghyun now, agitating him a little. He presses off with a small smile, notices he is desperately asking for attention from this man, but what if, he feels lonely and this man is in here in these early hours and he wonders why and how.  "I can make some breakfast for you... if you want..." the time everyone got out of bed and taking the time to get breakfast, Junsu had already left the kitchen to change clothes and get some other work done, he never really has contact with the people, as he knew they weren't really waiting for it, so to have this chance to make a personal breakfast for this man was something he's hoping for. "I can even make some pancakes, not very good ones, but they come close..." he wonders if he's maybe a little desperate right now.

[ad-yoongi]

I know your face [Junsu vs Seunghyun]

[ad-yoongi]

Seunghyun, a little startled by the other’s action and slightly irritated by the intrusion in his personal space, slams his notebook closed once he realizes what just happened. He doesn’t know when acting perfectly human became akin to posing as vulnerable in his mind, but he feels caught. There is no place for weakness in the role that he’s supposed to fulfill in this community, and being found out like this feels like a failure and a mistake on his part. 

He’s about to retreat, brows furrowed and expression dark, when the other male takes him by surprise again. “… coffee?” He croaks, a little stupefied and hopeful. In another lifetime, the one that now belongs to dreams and whispers only, the mentioned dark liquid had easily managed to seduce him into a pleasurable addiction, and he’d suffered many a terrible headache after enlisting and having to tone down his intake. But even that had failed to lessen the appeal of the drink itself, and Seunghyun is currently left both eager and a little stunned. It had been a long while since the seekers had brought any coffee with them, and it was sure as hell not on top of their priority list.

"sure," he brings out shortly, forcing down his initial enthusiasm. Apart from sentiment, it would be great to down a shot of caffeine, if only to make up for his current lack of sleep. Seunghyun’s arm is still rested over his notebook, protectively, as he studies the appearance of the man in front of him a little closer, finally catching a bit of interest in him. "are you up this early every day?" He tries to keep his voice flat, his composure strong and formal, but before he knows it a yawn is tickling at the back of his throat and forcibly climbs it’s way out, Seunghyun’s eyes lightly tearing up with it at the corners.

[junsuxout]

Junsu knows he probably went too far and takes a step back when the man closes his notebook with a slam. That notebook made him curious and he feels himself getting filled with questions, but also the fact why the man is here at this time. He wants to talk with someone, not many people come to him to sit down for a chat, it's only politely chatting or business related, nothing really friendly. He's not blaming anyone and he knows why, but it makes him sad and this man, sitting in front of him gives him a little hope, even though it's very small. When the man tells him he'd like a cup he nods and wants to turn around towards the kitchen when he hears Seunghyun's raspy voice again. He nods again, "Yes everyday, so everyone can enjoy a good breakfast, as it's the most important meal of the day" he smiles, eyes turning into crescents. When his face turns neutral again he sees the man yawn and chuckles, making his way towards the kitchen to prepare that cup of coffee.  The man's presence in the kitchen area makes him happy, which give him that feeling again that he is in fact, pretty lonely and he sighs as he waits for the coffee to drip in to the cup. The amount of coffee they have is not much and he only makes a few cups every other day for the people that ask for it and sometimes for himself.  He walks back with the cup in his hand and places it before Seunghyun. "Here... please enjoy it, we don't have much..." the urge to sit down next to the man is big but he keeps standing, searching for words or ways to behave. "I uhh... didn't really see much of it... so don't worry.." /he says with a soft voice as he points without looking at the man's notebook.

[ad-yoongi]

I know your face [Junsu vs Seunghyun]

[ad-yoongi]

Compared to what Junsu might have been expecting, Seunghyun’s reaction to the hand on his shoulder is quite mellow. In these past four years he has learned to sleep light -so he is startled awake quite easily- but has also learned to asses a situation quickly, even in his drowsiness, and what he finds doesn’t cause him alarm. If only some slight discomfort at being found in a state of vulnerability by a face that’s familiar but not quite a friend. He forces himself to wake up further, eyelashes fluttering and mind groggy, a page of his notebook sticking to his cheek when he drags himself upright. He blinks against the small light that is held up, squinting, his eyes still sensitive. Grunts softly as he tries to make reason of the man standing in front of him. Scene by scene his memory comes back to him as his mind reboots itself. Ah, yes- he thinks. Suffocating sheets, sore muscles, the familiar smell of the canteen area and -at last before the blackness of sleep- the table surface that had suddenly seemed very inviting to inspect from up close. 

Once he’s figured out where he is and how he got here, the familiarities laying within the face of the man in front of him suddenly make sense. The guy is most likely one of the ‘insiders’, as Seunghyun calls them in his mind, and has probably been responsible for the preparation of a large part of the meals Seunghyun has eaten within camp walls. Seunghyun answers the man’s curious glance with a rather sluggish grimace.

He notices then, belatedly, his notebook laying open and obvious in front of him, and his hand shoots out just a little too hastily, quick enough to betray the awkwardness he feels about having his mind’s scribbles on display. “uhm..” He starts, trying to mask his discomfort with speech, but his voice is rough and heavy with sleep and breaks before he can even forms words. He swallows thickly and tries again. “sorry. I’ll get going, I didn’t mean to disturb.”

[junsuxout]

He smiles when he sees the man waking up gently and chuckles softly at the state the man is in right now, it's almost endearing. Because he knows, this man, is the commander and it seems most people are a little afraid of him, just like himself. His second reaction is just staring at the man, even though he has a piece of paper stuck to his cheek, he looks quite handsome, but more than that very human and for some reason it brings him nostalgic feelings. He skips out of his staring when he sees the man grimace at him and he looks away. His eyes glance over the notebook and he notices the man's reaction which makes him look at the man again. He reaches carefully towards the man's face to get the piece of paper from it and places it on the notebook without looking at it again, just focussing on Seunghyun. "No please, stay... it's still early" /he smiles, "I just wanted to make coffee, would you like a cup?"

[ad-yoongi]

I know your face [Junsu vs Seunghyun]

Seunghyun had been tossing and turning on his mattress, restless, haunted by a  flurry of memories, visions and nightmares all melting together in his fatigued mind. First, he had cursed his decision to stop with the sedatives, for now he had nothing laying around that could efficiently numb him into much needed sleep. Second, he had attempted to tire himself out with exercise. But after twenty minutes he was left sweaty, with burning muscles and even more awake and alert then before. Eventually, he gave up and dug up his notebook. 

It was his little collection of everything; there were scribbles and notes, thoughts and theories, scraps of pictures he’d collected from wallets or pockets of strangers, the faces on them unfamiliar. Yet he felt the need to honor the people depicted on all these snippets of photographs the only way he knew how. to keep them safe in his book of thoughts and acknowledge they were alive, once. 

He had wandered around their territory for a bit, enjoying the goosebumps that spread from his neck down to his spine after a particularly cold gust of wind. In the end he had settled down in their communal, well, canteen of some sorts, where they gathered for news and received their rations.

The funny thing was that by the time he’d sat himself down and picked up a pencil, drowsiness was creeping up on him. So it wasn’t all that surprising that he eventually succumbed to it with his face mushed against the table surface and his notebook opened in front of him.

[junsuxout]

It were the first rays of sunlight that woke him up, everyday. It became an habit, something that his body had learned to do. Because he was the one that had to prepare the food for everyone's breakfast. The biggest reason why he was so willing to get up so early was because he was enjoying it so much, it was the least he could do here. That didn't changed the fact he was getting up every morning with a soft groan, all the muscles in his body whining and slightly hurting. His body was pretty weak, but he blamed it on the things that happened, instead of his bad eating habits, even as a cook.  He swung his legs to let his feet touch the ground and there was the soft groan, it took him a while before he could stand up and his first routine was washing his face and hands, changing clothes was something that came later as his first goal was preparing breakfast.  As he shuffled to where the kitchen was, still sleepy, he scratched his scalp which meant he should take a shower soon. He never turned any lights on, maybe out of fear, but mainly because he didn't really needed it as his vision in the soft morning light was enough to do his thing. He softly opened some boxes, cans and cupboards and started the breakfast, the same as every morning, but it was a nourishing meal. It was when he wanted to start making coffee he heard a soft sound around the kitchen table area, a place that was much darker than the kitchen itself. He made an almost spazzing move when he heard it, his heart started to beat faster and eyes grew bigger, looking for the 'thing' that was there. When the adrenaline rush was over he told himself it couldn't be anything different from a human or an animal and he sighed out. When he got his guts together he slowly walked towards the kitchen table, but not before he lit a little light to see better. He smiled at the sight of the man, with his face planted on the table, looked like he was in a deep sleep. He slightly leaned over to look better at were his face was sleeping on and saw different kind of photo's and some randomness he couldn't really figure out, with the man's face blocking it.  It took him a while before he placed a soft hand on the man's shoulder, hoping he won't get beaten to the ground, but he took the risk and squeezed softly. "Hey...?"