My side blog where I just talk about my inner thoughts, feelings, and ramblings. (Inspired after the two lesbians who live in my head that represent "learning to love myself", Joy & Hope) my main is aaliyah-and-her-ocs
Aaliyah & Her Ocs, Aaliyah Marie Arts, AMA Arts, and Just A Doodler is one i also had for a short time on Discord. (For when I wanted to be less on the nose.)
I am 24, Pronouns are She/Her, I am a Bicurious/Demisexual, but I am also a Fictosexual/Fictoromantic Yume/Selfshipper. I graduated college as an Illustrator, I am the eldest of 5, please read my rules here
I will be using this account mostly for rambles and venting since I don't feel fully safe on my main. That account will now mostly be used for art and updates if I leave or am busy, etc.
I figured the best way to do that would be through the lenses of my ocs and my happy place. They are both just me, but two sides of me that live in my head. (The lesbians in my brain I jokingly call them)
For info on my story im using as the base for this account and my Hashtags for this account— under the clip.
My happy place is usually depicted as a endless nicely cloudy sky above an endless body of calm water. There is no people living in it except for the two I mention below. They can walk on the water as if they were petals floating on the surface. The only other beings living above the water are many, many, many butterflies that fly freely. In each cloud is my memories, and each butterfly represents either a dream I have, a thing i enjoy, or a individual I know or love.
Below the water is darkness... tendrils of depression that threaten to reach out and pull those two under. But they cannot breach the surface. They are confined below the water waiting for there chance to try and drag them under. Which only can happen when one of those above are consumed by dark feelings that make them sink. To which they have to fight back through those dark feelings to swim to the surface again.
The two that reside above water are as follows.
Joy: Who I am on the outside, Who I try and appear to be and want to be when I'm with others and more. My soft side that just wants to be loved and give love.
And
Hope: My emotions, My hidden interests and things I don't often show, my tough and stern side that doesnt take anything if it means it will effect my joy.
But as I have written with these characters, they have their moments when they can become corrupted or just consumed by other emotions. (Represented by the black markings on Hope's skins that reach her eye)
Melancholy: When I just feel depressed or saddened by things around me. When im overwhelmed and can't help but cry. When I shut down and even my joy can't make me feel better.
And
Despair: When I become angered and irritated. When I just cant contain what I feel and I just need to yell it out or take it out on something, mostly myself.
I will use the Hashtags to convey what I saw when I say them. (Unless I am lazy or unable to express the emotions I feel through these)
It's my Totm rn and it's kicking my ass. Fucking hurts because the cramps are killing my gut and it's quite heavy right now... I wish I was having one of my lighter and practically non existent ones but god says no.
(Translation: Totm (pronounced Totem) is the abbreviation I like to say to people to say im on my "time of the month" without just flat out saying it... like if I'm talking to a guy coworker for example.)
I made an Elevator hitch oc! Her name is simply Lady! She is the HR! (and yume'd for Normal Guy)
More info below for those interested~! TW: There is a Headless bleeding sprite and bloody sprites below!
She is VERY aware of the loops but plays it off in a 4th wall breaking HR like way. She will also give you hints on where you went wrong while being slightly condescending about it based on all the endings.
"You say you fell into a hole in the wall? Well did you read the note beside it before hand?"
"Oh my! You say that you entered a dark room and felt your entire body go into sheer pain? Maybe you should have turned the light on!"
"Oh? You say you feel like you've been bit in half? Well you know what they say- Don't bite the hand that feeds you~! Maybe you should have done that first!"
"Oh, You claim your parents trapped you in your childhood room? You must have not been listening to them! It's impolite to disobey your parents!"
"You say you suffered from radiation damage? Well you shouldn't be going into places without the proper equipment or certification!"
"You took a test and got ripped in half!? Well maybe you shouldn't fill out forms you don't have answers for, silly!"
"You say a meat hook fell and chained you to the ceiling? Well you should have been more aware of your surroundings!"
"There was a clone of you that left you to die in a place with no escape! Well I think you should have heard them out on their offer! Maybe hear from both sides before making assumptions!"
"You fell to your death in front of the Boss? Well isn't that embarrassing, haha! Just make sure you watch your step next time~!"
"You say your coworker started a fire on the elevator for smoking? Well did you try and ask him politely to stop?"
"You say our staff blew off your head when fixing the elevator? Oh my! Are you sure? Maybe you just have a headache! Here's some medicine!"
"You say that you failed the interview? Aww… Better luck next time then! Think about your answers a little more, there's no rush!"
Basically she just follows orders of Normal Guy to a T. She is slightly the reason why the building is the way it is because in a way- she is the building! (hence her eye being the sky from normal guys office.) She also acts like an assistant for Normal Guy if it's needed!
If Protag were to distract her with something (Idk what yet)- He can kill her by removing her necktie, making her head fall off! (like that one story) But it would probably result in a death of it's own. The office would probably go dark and become a void and you just cease to exist. Can't be safe in a building without having a HR to report to!
If you manage to ask her a bunch of questions, like casual ones like you can ask coworker from time to time- She will reward you with a prize as a thank you for giving her time to chat! (A smiley sun pin)
If you report to her about all the "problems in the office" She will also reward you with another prize! (a frowny moon pin)
After work I tried drawing Janette and Bones together three times with all three idea's ive had sitting in my brain for so long and well— Scrapped every one. They looked like dick. Then I drew something else and that was going just fine! So it is just a problem with drawing yume stuff. I've confirmed it at this point. Life SUCKS man...
(The three idea's btw were them having a 'cigarette kiss' where the cigarettes are touching on the ends while they smoke, one where she was wearing a specific corset I saw on Pinterest that had skeleton hands on it and he was holding her waist there like it was an invitation, and the otherone was just me trying to draw them next to each other with his jacket on her shoulders. NONE I could draw...)
Question about Eddie and his sexuality if that’s ok!
Eddie is canonically gay and I completely respect that but I’m wondering how he feels about nonbinary people? Would it be erasure to pair him with a nonbinary character?
Not at all, go for it!
On a general note I think his sexuality is a bit more nuanced than a flat out gay label but he doesn't have an especially complex viewing of his own sexuality and it's what he'd use to describe himself. I could imagine a more specific or unrecognized label technically fitting him better but he wouldn't be aware of it and doesn't have a very curious relationship with his own identity so he likely wouldn't care to use it.
On a more broad note about my characters I also don't particularly see it as erasure of their queer identity if the version of them in someones head that isn't related to the canon and is purely being used as a fantasy is attracted to a gender they wouldn't otherwise be interested in. Like I don't get mad at women who have a crush on Vince and self ship with him even though he's gay, it's fine. Issues would only arise if they start conflating that fantasized version of them with the actual character/author's intent.
@the-void-via forgot to mention this— but you reposting this felt like it was for me to see and I cried reading it lol. Made me feel a little better for crushing on both Eddie and Vincent— (just remembered this)
Here's more wips for Bull Eddie~! Sprite number 3! Will color when I get home from work in 8 hours... (Hope the day goes by fast and easy. It will be sometime after 9 o clock after that point.)
I have conflicting feelings toward my Eddie account. Mostly cause my other two are so dead and Eddie has now basically TRIPLED Janette. Which is such a bummer. I don't think even if i went around to other accounts at Janette that it would do anything. Same for Iris.
But I'm also happy I have Eddie's account so active cause it gives me a reason to draw and do things and well... feeds the fact im CONSTANTLY checking this website every 10-20 minutes... but seeing that 2,500 likes milestone really made me a little bummed more then excited.
I love a lot of people you listed too! So I'ma just add a few more small individuals I also love hehe @alyssatheshetposter (my sister), @sunflowerygraveyard (My qpp), @lilacsk1 (my other qpp)
but also: @crybabyparanoid, @amethyst-art, and ima add @the-void-via again. Love you all! Your messages of support always make my day and relax when when I'm sad and Rping with a few of you has made me happy and or flustered.
(this is Aaliyah btw! this is just my personal vent, rant, and comfort blog heh)
Dude, work has very much upset me... Everything thats been happening made me infuriated to the point I now have a miserable headache... I just... I wanna punch something so bad or bang my head against a wall... somthing to relieve my anger or stress.
