Frankly, Tumblr was a mistake

Aperture Science is always looking for new test subjects.

[enraged-chihuahua]

ur first and last recent emojis are ur gender now. mine is 🅱👨‍❤‍💋‍👨

[medianox-astrum]

[just-glados-thoughts]

🕑🕥 The results of this experiment show that my gender is time.

[just-glados-thoughts]

It means that your gender is getting stabbed in the eye.

[enraged-chihuahua]

ur first and last recent emojis are ur gender now. mine is 🅱👨‍❤‍💋‍👨

[medianox-astrum]

[just-glados-thoughts]

🕑🕥 The results of this experiment show that my gender is time.

[stendyle]

im gonna start headcanoning my mutuals

[tittyblade]

rb game! tag this with headcanons you have for the person you’re rbing from

[just-glados-thoughts]

For this test, I’m going to need to hear your headcannons. I have a feeling that I will regret this. But it’s in the name of science.

[chaumas-deactivated20240115]

“poison is the coward’s weapon” boo hoo sounds like someone’s sodium channels are easily inhibited

[chaumas-deactivated20240115]

if your deoxyribonucleosides depurinate I just don’t see how that’s my problem

[chaumas-deactivated20240115]

like, it’s not like I asked your vesicle fusion mediating proteins to cleave and block acetylcholine release... you can’t keep deflecting responsibility for your own actions onto me just because I “put something in your food”

[chaumas-deactivated20240115]

“you’re trying to kill me” yeah well have you tried being less sensitive

to poison

[icicledream-archive]

[a-fellow-scientist]

@just-glados-thoughts

[just-glados-thoughts]

They have a point.

[just-glados-thoughts]

Tell me your greatest weaknesses. I need to know for science. You can understand science right?

Oh, I can definitely understand science. But I’m not stupid. I’m not going to tell you anything.

[a-fellow-scientist]

Cmon you know you wanna

[officer-harding-black-mesa]

I heard something about how Supercomputers don't like having RPG's shot at them. I could be wrong though.

[just-glados-thoughts]

Nobody likes having RPG’s shot at them. I thought that was common knowledge.

[just-glados-thoughts]

Tell me your greatest weaknesses. I need to know for science. You can understand science right?

Oh, I can definitely understand science. But I’m not stupid. I’m not going to tell you anything.

[a-fellow-scientist]

Cmon you know you wanna

[just-glados-thoughts]

No, I really don’t.

[just-glados-thoughts]

Tell me your greatest weaknesses. I need to know for science. You can understand science right?

Oh, I can definitely understand science. But I’m not stupid. I’m not going to tell you anything.

[just-glados-thoughts]

Due to boredom, I will be flooding OSHA headquarters with a deadly neurotoxin. @osha-unofficial, you can’t murder me if I murder your entire organization first.

[osha-unofficial]

thats. not osha compliant. ventilation systems are sealed. you're not getting in

[osha-vent-daniel]

Haha

What

[just-glados-thoughts]

For now.

[rascalwascal]

*he looks around nervously and unseals the vents with nothing but a screwdriver and a double barrel shotgun as a backup plan*

[just-glados-thoughts]

Thank you. I’m warming up the neurotoxin emitters as we speak.

[just-glados-thoughts]

Due to boredom, I will be flooding OSHA headquarters with a deadly neurotoxin. @osha-unofficial, you can’t murder me if I murder your entire organization first.

[osha-unofficial]

thats. not osha compliant. ventilation systems are sealed. you're not getting in

[osha-vent-daniel]

Haha

What

[just-glados-thoughts]

For now.

[just-glados-thoughts]

I’m raiding Black Mesa. Any who participate in this raid will receive free cake.

[ladynoveldragon]

Hell yeah! Let’s go! I’m sure nothing could possibly go wrong!

[just-glados-thoughts]

Indeed. Absolutely nothing could happen to you whatsoever. 

Now go and steal me some deadly weapons.

[ladynoveldragon]

Absolutely! What am I looking for?

[just-glados-thoughts]

Anything that can kill.

[just-glados-thoughts]

I’m raiding Black Mesa. Any who participate in this raid will receive free cake.

[a-fellow-scientist]

Good luck. You’ll need it.

[officer-harding-black-mesa]

I’m passing out Shotguns and MP5’s as we speak. She’s not getting past the parking lot

[just-glados-thoughts]

That’s right. I won’t be getting past the parking lot. They will.

@just-p-body-and-atlas-thoughts​, you know what to do.

[just-p-body-and-atlas-thoughts]

Yeah we do! ᵁʰ, ᵇᵘᵈ, ʷʰᵃᵗ ᵈᵒ ʷᵉ ᵈᵒˀ ᴵ ᵗʰᶦⁿᵏ ˢʰᵉ ʷᵃⁿᵗˢ ᵘˢ ᵗᵒ ᵏᶦˡˡ ᵗʰᵉᵐ⁻ ᴼʰ, ʳᶦᵍʰᵗ⁻ ᵃʰᵉᵐ⁻ You’re going down!

@officer-harding-black-mesa

[officer-harding-black-mesa]

There’s Two Thousand of us, and two of you. What are you going to do?

[just-p-body-and-atlas-thoughts]

We’re gonna- uh… Hit you over the head! Yes, that! You can’t fight us if you’re unconscious! Yeah!

[officer-harding-black-mesa]

I’m wearing a helmet.

[just-p-body-and-atlas-thoughts]

THEY’VE GOT A HELMET! MAKE A BREAK FOR IT!

[just-glados-thoughts]

You two continue to disappoint me.

[just-glados-thoughts]

Do you remember the time you were made of LEGO and had this weird crush on Batman

Either you found a gateway to another dimension and witnessed this or you had a very, very strange hallucination.

[just-glados-thoughts]

I’m raiding Black Mesa. Any who participate in this raid will receive free cake.

[a-fellow-scientist]

Good luck. You’ll need it.

[officer-harding-black-mesa]

I’m passing out Shotguns and MP5’s as we speak. She’s not getting past the parking lot

[just-glados-thoughts]

That’s right. I won’t be getting past the parking lot. They will.

@just-p-body-and-atlas-thoughts​, you know what to do.

[just-p-body-and-atlas-thoughts]

Yeah we do! ᵁʰ, ᵇᵘᵈ, ʷʰᵃᵗ ᵈᵒ ʷᵉ ᵈᵒˀ ᴵ ᵗʰᶦⁿᵏ ˢʰᵉ ʷᵃⁿᵗˢ ᵘˢ ᵗᵒ ᵏᶦˡˡ ᵗʰᵉᵐ⁻ ᴼʰ, ʳᶦᵍʰᵗ⁻ ᵃʰᵉᵐ⁻ You’re going down!

@officer-harding-black-mesa

[just-glados-thoughts]

“You’re going down”? That’s the best that you could come up with?

[just-glados-thoughts]

I’m raiding Black Mesa. Any who participate in this raid will receive free cake.

[ladynoveldragon]

Hell yeah! Let’s go! I’m sure nothing could possibly go wrong!

[just-glados-thoughts]

Indeed. Absolutely nothing could happen to you whatsoever. 

Now go and steal me some deadly weapons.

[just-glados-thoughts]

I’m raiding Black Mesa. Any who participate in this raid will receive free cake.

[a-fellow-scientist]

Good luck. You'll need it.

[officer-harding-black-mesa]

I'm passing out Shotguns and MP5's as we speak. She's not getting past the parking lot

[a-fellow-scientist]

I forgot we had a parking lot.

[officer-harding-black-mesa]

Well, there are a lot of them. But our main one is outside Area 9.

[blackmesa-official]

DO NOT leak details while she's listening!

[just-glados-thoughts]

Too late.

[just-glados-thoughts]

I’m raiding Black Mesa. Any who participate in this raid will receive free cake.

[a-fellow-scientist]

Good luck. You'll need it.

[officer-harding-black-mesa]

I'm passing out Shotguns and MP5's as we speak. She's not getting past the parking lot

[just-glados-thoughts]

That’s right. I won’t be getting past the parking lot. They will.

@just-p-body-and-atlas-thoughts​, you know what to do.

[just-glados-thoughts]

I’m raiding Black Mesa. Any who participate in this raid will receive free cake.