Just.Kadyn

A blog where anyone and everyone is welcome. I’m gonna do my best to make this a positive place for people to freely express themselves and their views on the world. be -you- tiful.

[cigarettesandcommunism]

Dear parents who wonder why their kids never talk to them...

Think about what you were saying when they used to talk to you. Think about your choice of words and tone. Think about why they tried to come to you and why they don’t anymore. When you shut them out, belittle them, and blame them for all of their problems, you will lose them. And that will be permanent.

[mystic-beavty]

This.

[mosthatedmuva-blog]

And I ain’t never coming back bitch

[just-kadyn-blog]

things that may happen when you’re leaving religion/mormonism- a series

Part III- Cult?

  Was I raised in a cult? I asked myself this so many times as I was discovering the truth about the LDS church. But what qualifies a belief system to be a cult? Can you have a proper religion? 

  If i google search the definition of a cult it says,  “ a system of religious veneration and devotion directed toward a particular figure or object.”

   Correct me if I’m wrong, but by that definition, can’t any religion technically be a cult? Most religions place devotion to a figure, like a deity. 

  There was one time I was on reddit and I saw someone say something similar to, “The only difference between a cult and a religion is the size of the congregation.” For some reason that really stuck with me.

  Does mormonism have cult-like tendencies? In my opinion, hell yeah. And it’s shocking to realize at first. 

Some examples of characteristics:  

Absolute authoritarianism without meaningful accountability.

• No tolerance for questions or critical inquiry.

• No meaningful financial disclosure regarding budget or expenses, such as an independently audited financial statement.

• Unreasonable fear about the outside world, such as impending catastrophe, evil conspiracies and persecutions.

• There is no legitimate reason to leave, former followers are always wrong in leaving, negative or even evil.

• Former members often relate the same stories of abuse and reflect a similar pattern of grievances.

• There are records, books, news articles, or broadcast reports that document the abuses of the group/leader.

• Followers feel they can never be "good enough".

• The group/leader is always right.

• The group/leader is the exclusive means of knowing "truth" or receiving validation, no other process of discovery is really acceptable or credible.

https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/belief/2009/may/27/cults-definition-religion

Aftermath:

  I’ m realizing more and more every day how much of a cult mormonism is. From the indoctrination and brainwashing that has been ingrained into my life since birth, from the dress standards, to the exclusion of others. I’m so glad I see it now. I see so many exmormons coming out and being themselves. Breaking free from those chains. I applaud you. Things will get better. Eventually I will have my body and mind all to myself. One year left. Sundays are always hard, I come home from church angry and worn out, but it’s all going to be worth it in the end. I will be my own person, find my own style, and be happy living my own god damned life.

Even if you aren’t mormon, and for anyone struggling with this,just know you aren’t alone. There is a large community of exmormons on reddit and in the world that will gladly listen to your concerns and frustrations. We have to all help each other out. Everything will be okay. You’ll make it out of this Stronger and Happier than ever. I promise.

Feel free to talk with me if you guys ever need anything. Even if you just need to rant, I will be your ranting buddy. Be you tiful. 

[just-kadyn-blog]

things that may happen when you’re leaving religion/mormonism- a series

Part II- Brain Overload & Trust Issues

  When you start to leave religion, you’re brain feels like it’s going to explode. From my personal experience, I know when I first started looking into mormon history I wasn’t expecting to find anything truly damning about the church. I was wrong.

   I asked my uncle about why he left, and he sent me a link to the CES letter. Some of you may know what that is, but for those of you who don’t, it’s a letter that Jeremy Runnells wrote to the Church Educational System (CES) director. In this letter, he asked a bunch of questions about the concerns he had with church history. He was promised that he would get answers and his doubts would be resolved, but a response never came. (I’ll link it down below).

  I read this entire letter in one day. I remember staying up till around 1am crying because everything in this letter was so shocking. I felt like everything I had grown up believing was a lie. The fact that Jeremy Runnells never got a reply made it even worse. Why would the CES director not ease Jeremy’s doubts? Is it because everything in that letter was true? 

  I think that was all back in November, but that whole month I was constantly searching for answers. I was tired of turning towards the church for answers because it seemed that it was these phrases, “have faith” and “keep the commandments”, or “answers will come in the Lord’s time.” or “humans aren’t perfect, but the Lord is.” I needed an actual explanation for why the facts didn’t add up. 

  When you’re leaving religion, you start to develop trust issues.  All my life I was told that people who spoke of anti-mormon ideas are of the devil. That I shouldn’t listen to them. But those exmormons are the only people that seemed to listen to my concerns and provide reasonable explanations. They told me to use my brain instead of rely on and blindly follow with faith. They helped me cope. 

Below I will post some links of websites, podcasts, videos, etc. that helped me cope and continue to help me. 

Aftermath: 

  I know now that it’s okay and it’s completely normal to rely on other sources that aren’t church approved. With any big decision, you have to look at both sides of the story and determine for yourself which one you want to believe. If you agree with the church, then choose the church’s story. If you don’t, then leave.

  In the United States, Freedom of Religion is a thing for a reason. You have a right to believe in whatever the hell you want. It’s okay. Experience both sides. How will you ever learn and form your own ideas of the world if you stay in a bubble? 

LINKS: 

https://cesletter.org/

http://www.mormonthink.com/

https://www.youtube.com/user/mormonstories

https://www.reddit.com/r/exmormon/

Podcasts:

How to Heretic 

Naked Mormonism

Thank God I’m Atheist

[just-kadyn-blog]

things that may happen when you’re leaving religion/mormonism- a series

Part I - Background.

  I am starting off this blog with the main thing that’s been on my mind for the past two years (roughly). Part I is all gonna be about my religious background and what led me to leave religion, so I recommend you read this before any other post. 

 I was raised Mormon my whole life. My whole family is Mormon. My parents are hardcore believers, so are my siblings. I was baptized at the ripe old age of 8. We go to church every single Sunday. Every church session is three hours long. My family never really did Family Home Evening or daily scripture study together. I went to mutual every week (mutual is a meeting for teenagers to hang out, play games, and do church related activities).  I attend week-long church camps in the summer every year. I went to the temple about 2 or 3 times a year, since it was 45 minutes away. 

  I always kind of went through the motions of church, only believing in it because my parents told me to. When I was around 12, I started trying to believe it for myself. I started to try to find answers to my questions and really paid attention in my lessons and listened to my teachers. I never had a strong testimony, but I REALLY tried to find one. 

  In Mormonism, every one tells you to read the Book of Mormon, ponder and then pray about it, and God will tell you its true. A warm fuzzy feeling or peace is supposed to rush over you and let you know that it’s true. I didn’t get that feeling. Why not? 

  Right around this time that I read the Book of Mormon, I found a random youtube video (I tried to find it again but failed). In this video, it was people of different faiths, describing this warm fuzzy feeling that I was supposed to get. Questions rushed into my mind. Why would God let other people who aren’t mormon receive these feelings? Why didn’t I feel it? If I belonged to the only true religion in the whole world, why were other people, in other religions, getting those feelings? Does that mean my religion isn’t true? 

  I searched for answers to these questions on lds.org and from leaders, and I prayed about it,etc. Nothing seemed to ease my mind. Then, I started look at sources that weren’t church approved which is supposed to be a big no-no. I was angry with God at this time and I wanted to find unbiased information.

  Now after I’ve fallen down the rabbit hole of church history and religion in general, I’m here. Writing this blog to hopefully help anyone else who is going through this struggle. I encourage you all to look at both sides of the story in every situation, use your resources,  and come up with conclusions on your own. Use your own mind and free thought to make you happy, and don’t let anyone take that from you.

Disclaimer: If you are religious, nothing on my blog is supposed to be offensive. This is all my opinion and I encourage you to stay. For me, it is healthier and makes me happy to live life with no religion, so I’m also going to ask that you don’t try to convert me or anyone else that may be here. I want this to be a space where people can talk about their beliefs freely and without dispute. We all need to respect each other’s lifestyle. 

[just-kadyn-blog]

New Blog :]

Hey everyone! I’ve been wanting to create a blog for a while now, and here it is. Just to give anyone who may be seeing this an idea of what this blog will be about..

My Goals for this Blog: 

1. Provide a space where people will not be afraid to share their thoughts and opinions. A safe house, for say. 

2. A healthy way to express myself and my own thoughts on life. 

3. A timeline and journal on experiences I have, and things I learn along the way.

Just as a disclaimer, some posts may be negative in regard to what is going through my mind at the time, but I will try to always bring a positive light to the situation. Since we are all human and have all walked different lives, I know there will be discussions where people may not agree with one another. I encourage everyone to be respectful and instead of arguing I hope we can have civil and thought provoking discussions. Bullying and Rudeness will not be tolerated :] as I said at the beginning, This is a Safe House.